Kristuslegender. English

by Selma Lagerlöf

change was a joy to Saint Peter! One canpicture to oneself that it was quite another matter to sit upon ParadiseMountain and look out over the world, instead of wandering from door todoor, like a beggar. It was another matter to walk about in thebeautiful gardens of Paradise, instead of roaming around on earth, notknowing if one would be given house-room on a stormy night, or if onewould be forced to tramp the highway in the chill and darkness.

  One can imagine what a joy it must have been to get to the right placeat last after such a journey. Saint Peter, to be sure, had not alwaysbeen certain that all would end well. He couldn't very well help feelingdoubtful and troubled at times, for it had been almost impossible forpoor Saint Peter to understand why there was any earthly need for themto have such a hard time of it, if our Lord was lord of all the world.

  Now, no yearning could come to torment him any more. That he was glad ofthis one can well believe.

  Now, he could actually laugh at all the misery which he and our Lord hadbeen forced to endure, and at the little that they had been obliged tocontent themselves with.

  Once, when things had turned out so badly for them that Saint Peterthought he couldn't stand it any longer, our Lord had taken him to ahigh mountain, and had begun the ascent without telling him what theywere there for.

  They had wandered past the cities at the foot of the mountain, and thecastles higher up. They had gone past the farms and cabins, and had leftbehind them the last wood-chopper's cave.

  They had come at last to the part where the mountain stood naked,without verdure and trees, and where a hermit had built him a hut,wherein he might shelter needy travelers.

  Afterward, they had walked over the snowfields, where the mountain-ratssleep, and come to the piled-up ice masses, which stood on edge anda-tilt, and where scarcely a chamois could pass.

  Up there our Lord had found a little red-breasted bird, that lay frozento death on the ice, and He had picked up the bullfinch and tucked it inHis bosom. And Saint Peter remembered he had wondered if this was to betheir dinner.

  They had wandered a long while on the slippery ice-blocks, and it hadseemed to Saint Peter that he had never been so near perdition; for adeadly cold wind and a deadly dark mist enveloped them, and as far as hecould discover, there wasn't a living thing to be found. And, still,they were only half-way up the mountain.

  Then he begged our Lord to let him turn back.

  "Not yet," said our Lord, "for I want to show you something which willgive you courage to meet all sorrows."

  For this they had gone on through mist and cold until they had reachedan interminably high wall, which prevented them from going farther.

  "This wall extends all around the mountain," said our Lord, "and youcan't step over it at any point. Nor can any living creature seeanything of that which lies behind it, for it is here that Paradisebegins; and all the way up to the mountain's summit live the blesseddead."

  But Saint Peter couldn't help looking doubtful. "In there is neitherdarkness nor cold," said our Lord, "but there it is always summer, withthe bright light of suns and stars."

  But Saint Peter was not able to persuade himself to believe this.

  Then our Lord took the little bird which He had just found on the ice,and, bending backwards, threw it over the wall, so that it fell downinto Paradise.

  And immediately thereafter Saint Peter heard a loud, joyous trill, andrecognized a bullfinch's song, and was greatly astonished.

  He turned toward our Lord and said: "Let us return to the earth andsuffer all that must be suffered, for now I see that you speak thetruth, and that there is a place where Life overcomes death."

  And they descended from the mountain and began their wanderings again.

  And it was years before Saint Peter saw any more than this one glimpseof Paradise; but he had always longed for the land beyond the wall. Andnow at last he was there, and did not have to strive and yearn any more.Now he could drink bliss in full measure all day long from never-dyingstreams.

  But Saint Peter had not been in Paradise a fortnight before it happenedthat an angel came to our Lord where He sat upon His throne, bowed seventimes before Him, and told Him that a great sorrow must have come uponSaint Peter. He would neither eat nor drink, and his eyelids were red,as though he had not slept for several nights.

  As soon as our Lord heard this, He rose and went to seek Saint Peter.

  He found him far away, on one of the outskirts of Paradise, where he layupon the ground, as if he were too exhausted to stand, and he had renthis garments and strewn his hair with ashes.

  When our Lord saw him so distressed, He sat down on the ground besidehim, and talked to him, just as He would have done had they still beenwandering around in this world of trouble.

  "What is it that makes you so sad, Saint Peter?" said our Lord.

  But grief had overpowered Saint Peter, so that he could not answer.

  "What is it that makes you so sad?" asked our Lord once again.

  When our Lord repeated the question, Saint Peter took the gold crownfrom his head and threw it at our Lord's feet, as much as to say hewanted no further share in His honor and glory.

  But our Lord understood, of course, that Saint Peter was so disconsolatethat he knew not what he did. He showed no anger at him.

  "You must tell me what troubles you," said He, just as gently as before,and with an even greater love in His voice.

  But now Saint Peter jumped up; and then our Lord knew that he was notonly disconsolate, but downright angry. He came toward our Lord withclenched fists and snapping eyes.

  "Now I want a dismissal from your service!" said Saint Peter. "I can notremain another day in Paradise."

  Our Lord tried to calm him, just as He had been obliged to do many timesbefore, when Saint Peter had flared up.

  "Oh, certainly you can go," said He, "but you must first tell me what itis that displeases you."

  "I can tell you that I awaited a better reward than this when we twoendured all sorts of misery down on earth," said Saint Peter.

  Our Lord saw that Saint Peter's soul was filled with bitterness, and Hefelt no anger at him.

  "I tell you that you are free to go whither you will," said He, "if youwill only let me know what is troubling you."

  Then, at last, Saint Peter told our Lord why he was so unhappy. "I hadan old mother," said he, "and she died a few days ago."

  "Now I know what distresses you," said our Lord. "You suffer becauseyour mother has not come into Paradise."

  "That is true," said Saint Peter, and at the same time his grief becameso overwhelming that he began to sob and moan.

  "I think I deserved at least that she should be permitted to come here,"said he.

  But when our Lord learned what it was that Saint Peter was grievingover, He, in turn, became distressed. Saint Peter's mother had not beensuch that she could enter the Heavenly Kingdom. She had never thought ofanything except to hoard money, and to the poor who had knocked at herdoor she had never given so much as a copper or a crust of bread. Butour Lord understood that it was impossible for Saint Peter to grasp thefact that his mother had been so greedy that she was not entitled tobliss.

  "Saint Peter," said He, "how can you be so sure that your mother wouldfeel at home here with us?"

  "You say such things only that you may not have to listen to myprayers," said Saint Peter. "Who wouldn't be happy in Paradise?"

  "One who does not feel joy over the happiness of others can not restcontent here," said our Lord.

  "Then there are others than my mother who do not belong here," saidSaint Peter, and our Lord observed that he was thinking of Him.

  And He felt deeply grieved because Saint Peter had been stricken withsuch a heavy sorrow that he no longer knew what he said. He stood amoment and expected that Saint Peter would repent, and understand thathis mother was not fit for Paradise. But the Saint would not give in.

  Then our Lord called an angel and commanded that he should fly down intohell and bring Saint Peter's mother to Para
dise.

  "Let me see how he carries her," said Saint Peter.

  Our Lord took Saint Peter by the hand and led him out to a steepprecipice which leaned slantingly to one side. And He showed him that heonly had to lean over the precipice very, very little to be able to lookdown into hell.

  When Saint Peter glanced down, he could not at first see anything morethan if he had looked into a deep well. It was as though an endlesschasm opened under him.

  The first thing which he could faintly distinguish was the angel, whohad already started on his way to the nether regions. Saint Peter sawhow the angel dived down into the great darkness, without the leastfear, and spread his wings just a little, so as not to descend toorapidly.

  But when Saint Peter's eyes had become a little more used to thedarkness he began to see more and more. In the first place, he saw