Marine Firefighter

by M K Dwyer

  He stood there silent for a moment, so she turned and put her key in the door lock to get the heck out of there.

  “So, you two are still together.” Not a question. “He hasn’t come by your place in a while. I was hoping you had come to your senses and broke up with him.”

  She opened the door but turned and looked at him before she sat down in the driver’s seat. “Come to my senses? As in, you think I broke it off with him to come back to you? Not on your life, Aiden. It might be new with him, but regardless of that, I don’t love you anymore. We are over. You ended our relationship, but I’m keeping it that way. Stop this nonsense, quit contacting me, quit stalking me, and go back to Berkeley. Goodbye, Aiden.”

  He stood rooted in the same spot she left him in and followed her car with his eyes as she drove out of the parking lot. She prayed that was the end of the whole mess with him.

  ∞∞∞

  The next morning, Nikki arrived at the school early to familiarize herself with her new student’s file. With so much on her mind, she’d been unable to sleep the night before and figured she’d get a jump start on the day.

  She loved the quiescent school in the mornings before it came to life with active children. She sat down at her desk in her silent classroom with her cup of coffee and opened Joseph Braun’s file.

  Before she could dive in, her phone chimed with a text from yet another unknown number with a Berkeley area code.

  Unknown:

  If you don’t stop seeing him, you’re going to be sorry.

  Sorry? What did he mean by that? She was already sorry. Sorry she’d ever met Aiden, and sorry she’d ever loved him. She learned the hard way that Aiden didn’t love anyone but himself. She knew Will was different. She knew even if it didn’t work out between them, even if her suspicions about him were true, she would never be sorry for the time they had together.

  She wasn’t worried Aiden would hurt her and she would never respond to his idiotic texts. She blocked the number and went back to Joe’s student folder. What else could she do?

  His test scores looked good. Nikki didn’t put much stock in state standardized tests, but she was glad to see he’d done well at his last school in Arizona. He’d only been her student for a day now, and she was already proud of him. It also looked like they were currently covering similar objectives at his previous school, so she expected him to do well on the upcoming test.

  After sifting through his school work, she pulled out his registration information. She’d put off looking them over. Ever since she looked into Joe’s light blue eyes and learned his name, she’d had the suspicion that reading these papers would change everything. Sure enough, next to “Father’s Name” she read “Wilson Braun” and nearly swallowed her tongue. Her suspicions were confirmed, but she still couldn’t believe her eyes. It couldn’t be. What would be the odds that it’s not really her Will? Next to “Mother’s Name” she read “Theresa Braun” and her vision blurred. She suddenly realized how little she knew about Will. Why had he withheld such vital information?

  She wasn’t sure how long she stared at Joe’s registration paperwork in his folder, but she was pulled from her thoughts by the first few of her students walking into the classroom. Her head was a mess, and her heart was aching, but she’d have to put on her teacher smile for the next seven hours and power through the day.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Will

  On his way to pick up Joe from school, Will was excited he was picking up his boy from a school in his neighborhood instead of three hours away. He hadn’t been able to do that since Joe was in Kindergarten, and he and Theresa were still together. Well, “together” was a loose term. By that point, they were more like a separated couple living under one roof.

  He’d spent the first few days of the week gathering everything he needed to transfer Joe from his school in Arizona to the school close to Will. Then, when Joe was finally enrolled on Thursday, Will had to work, so War dropped off and picked up Joe from school. Friday was the first day Will got to do the honors.

  This elementary school was rather large so there were three pick-up lines where fifteen cars could pull up, load their kids, and then pull away making room for the next fifteen cars. It seemed to work like a well-oiled machine from Will’s advantage approximately a million cars back.

  When it was finally his turn to be one of the fifteen cars, he pulled up and looked for Joe. At first, he couldn’t find him, but he figured Joe would recognize his big black truck before Will would find him in the sea of kids anyway. Then, he saw him walking out towards the pick-up lines, but someone was walking with him. A teacher presumably. Whoever it was, had him smiling and laughing, so Will was grateful to that person after his mom turned his life upside-down on him.

  He took his eyes off Joe to really look at the teacher walking with him, and his heart stopped. It was Nikki. His Nikki. Their eyes met, and he flinched, but her facial expressions revealed nothing.

  They reached the truck, and Joe flung the door open. “Dad! This is my teacher, Ms. Sparks.”

  He just nodded at her. His brain was still catching up.

  “I had to see for myself that it was you.” She paused, still emotionless. “Right. Well, Mr. Braun, we need to set up a parent-teacher conference to discuss Joe’s transfer into my classroom.”

  He didn’t say anything, just nodded again. Apparently, he’d lost all ability to communicate verbally. Did she really want to talk about Joe’s school work or was she saying she wanted to discuss something else? Like why he’s such a lying asshole. He flinched at his own thoughts. That’s probably exactly what she’s thinking. He had some major damage control to do.

  “Great. I’ll call you and set up a time for you to come in then. Sound good?”

  “Yes.” One word. At least, it was better than just nodding. Nikki shut the door that Joe had opened to climb in and walked away like nothing was on her mind. Note to self: Don’t play poker with Nikki. She had a great poker face when she wanted to.

  They were holding up the line and throwing off the rhythm of the machine, so he pulled away from the school rejecting the urge to look back at Nikki.

  “Do you not like my teacher?”

  “What?”

  “You wouldn’t talk to her. Do you not like her?”

  “Oh, no. She seems great! I just wasn’t expecting her to walk to you to the truck.” He hoped that lie was convincing enough. Explaining why he was speechless was just a bit too much for his brain to handle. He was smiling at his son but screaming on the inside.

  He pulled up to the house on Melrose Lane and Joe was out of the truck before he’d even come to a complete stop.

  “I’m going to play Xbox with War!” Joe disappeared into the house.

  Will chuckled. It was Friday, so he’d ask about homework later. Plus, he needed Joe distracted while he called Nikki anyway. He stayed outside and dialed her number.

  The call connected but there was only silence on the other end. He thought they had a bad connection. “Hello?”

  “When were you going to tell me?” The connection was fine. “Or were you ever going to tell me?”

  “Of course. I…” But she didn’t let him finish.

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  “It was stupid. I was stupid. You said you never wanted to be a stepmom, and I panicked.” She was silent, so he kept going. “The truth is I was already starting to imagine us as a family when you confessed that. It was too early to be thinking that way, but I was. I couldn’t help myself. I feel like we’re special. What we have is special, and I didn’t want to ruin it. I thought I had to find the right time to tell you, but really, I was a coward. I was so afraid you would reject me, reject Joe, reject what we have, what we’re building.” She was still silent. He looked at his phone to see if the call dropped, but the timer on his screen was still ticking away. “Please, Nikki. Say something. Say this isn’t the end, that I didn’t blow it.”

  “I don’t know,
Will. I need time to think. I’m going to ask that Joe be transferred to another classroom. I don’t think I can give him the impartial attention he needs.”

  “No. Please don’t, Nikki. He’s already connected with you. He thinks you hung the moon, and he needs someone like you in his life right now. You’re warm, kind, and compassionate. If anyone can help him through this, it’s you.” He was laying it on thick but having Joe in her classroom felt important for some reason.

  “What do you mean ‘this time in his life’?”

  Will looked around to make sure he was still alone outside. What he was about to say wasn’t a secret, but he didn’t want Joe to overhear him while he discussed their situation.

  “Up until this week, Joe came to my house every other weekend. It was my turn this past weekend, but when I took him home, his mom wasn’t there. I called her, and long story short, she’s not coming home any time soon. She wants him to stay with me for a while. I asked how long, and she couldn’t tell me. She even signed over full custody temporarily to me. To be honest, I’m freaking out a little. As excited as I am to spend more time with him, I’m also anxious about the hard days ahead when he inevitably starts asking when he’s going to see her again. What do I say to that?” He paused when he realized he was spiraling down the rabbit hole of what-if’s. “Sorry. I got off track. It’s not your problem. Just, please, don’t transfer him out of your classroom. He really likes you, and he needs the stability.”

  She sighed. “I understand. I’ll keep him in my classroom. He’s a great kid. I’m sure we’ll have a great year together.”

  “Thank you! Seriously, thank you. Thank you. I know this means we’ll have to interact when you probably don’t even want to see my face, but you have no idea how much this means to me.”

  “You’re welcome. I’d like to see how he does next week and then I’ll contact you to go over his progress. But he did well on the test today. Based on that and his grades at his last school, I’d say he’s going to be just fine academically. And for the record, I think he’s going to be just fine in the other area as well.”

  “Thanks for saying that. I really appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome… again.” He might’ve been mistaken, but he thought he heard a smile in her voice. Progress, maybe? “Well, I’ve got to go. I’ll contact you about that parent-teacher conference.”

  “Okay. Can I call you?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m not ready to discuss ‘us’ any time soon.”

  “All right, I’ll give you some space, but not forever. I meant it when I said we have something special, and I’m not giving up on us.”

  “Bye, Will.” She hung up before he could say anything else.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  Nikki

  She spent the weekend in her condo without ever changing out of her pajamas. She only ate what she already had or could have delivered. Unfortunately, ice cream fell into neither of those two categories. True to his word, Will called her a few times, but she never picked up. He called just enough to remind her he wasn’t giving up, but not enough to annoy her. He was considerate. She’d give him that. Just not considerate enough to be truthful with her in the first place.

  Would she have run? Probably. At first. But she could’ve accepted him being a father. Eventually. Maybe. She felt split in two. Her own traitorous mind thought he was smart for hiding it from her because she might’ve rejected him if she found out before she got to know him. And then she would think, that still didn’t make lying to her the right thing to do.

  Between Will’s calls, she also received calls from Joyce and a couple of different unknown San Francisco numbers. She didn’t answer any of them, and no one left messages. It wouldn’t have mattered if they did; she had no desire to talk to anyone.

  On Monday, she almost stayed home from work, but “not feeling like it” was not a legitimate excuse. She loved her job and her students, but her head wasn’t in the game, and she still wasn’t sure if she could face anyone.

  She didn’t want to see Joyce because she wouldn’t be able to hide the heartbreak from her best friend. Nikki had always had a stone-cold poker face when she needed it, but Joyce was born with a sixth sense. And Joyce’s intuition beat Nikki’s mask every time. She also needed time before she saw Will but seeing Joe would be like seeing Will. They had the same eyes and the same quiet, easy-going nature. She was still torn about what to do with Will. She was mad at him, but the thought of breaking it off completely with him made her sick to her stomach. Worst of all, she missed him. She missed their talks. He never spoke of Joe and probably left out a lot of other personal things, but she still got to know the essence of who he was. He was funny and kind, and even over the phone, he could play her body like a fiddle. He was so easy to talk to that she never realized he left giant chunks out of his story.

  On Tuesday, getting out of bed was a little easier, and on Wednesday she didn’t need to hit the snooze button at all. Will continued to call, and she continued to let his calls go to voicemail. She still didn’t have an answer for him. She knew her feelings for him hadn’t diminished, but she was still hurt. Aiden lied to her for so long and broke her heart. She thought she’d found someone who would never do that to her. Will might’ve had different motives, but the result was the same. She got hurt.

  Thursday afternoon, she was cleaning off her desk and packing her things to leave the school when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw the name on the caller ID.

  “Hi, Daddy.”

  “Hello, sweetheart. Just called to check up on you. I haven’t heard from you much since your last visit home.”

  She cringed. She went up to Berkeley at Christmas time, and her dad was right. Not only had she not been home, but she hadn’t called much in the last nine months.

  “Sorry, Daddy. I’ll try and call more.”

  He was quiet for a moment. They both knew she was lying.

  “So, tell me what’s going on with you. Are you doing all right down there in San Diego?”

  “Yeah Daddy. I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine sweetheart. What’s going on?”

  Her knee-jerk response was to tell him about a minor problem she was having to placate him instead of what was really bothering her. While she loved her father, they hadn’t been close for as long as she could remember, and she certainly didn’t confide in him when it came to “boys”. This time though, she needed his insight.

  “When you and Gloria first got together, how did she react to me? I mean. How did she feel about taking on a stepdaughter? I don’t remember much from those first few years.” She spent most of her time in a haze after her mother died. It was years before she could push that pain aside and rejoin the world without guilt.

  “She was hesitant, of course. Who wouldn’t be? But then she met you, and she saw how hurt you were by your mother’s passing. She loved you from that first meeting and she wanted to help you heal. You fought her tooth and nail though, and eventually she learned to leave you alone to do your own thing.”

  She was speechless. Is that why Gloria practically ignored her? She didn’t remember any of that, but if what her dad was saying was true then she was the reason they never bonded.

  “Let me get Gloria, you can ask her about this.”

  “No, Dad, that’s okay…” But he’d already put the phone down. Her dad was one of the few holdouts who still had a landline home phone. Not only that, but it still had a cord too. She rolled her eyes and smiled at her dad’s consistent stubbornness.

  “Hello, Nikki, your dad said you wanted to talk to me.”

  “Hi, Gloria. How are you?” She couldn’t start with “why didn’t you love me?” now, could she?

  “I’m fine, dear. How are you?”

  “I’m all right.” No. Screw this. “Actually, I’m not all right.”

  “Oh? Sorry to hear that. Anything I can do?”

  “Yes. I think so. You can tell me about the ea
rly days. What it was like with us when you and Dad first got together. I don’t remember much.”

  “Sure. What do you want to know?”

  “Everything. I mean… Well, everything relating to you and me. Why didn’t we hit it off? To hear Dad tell the story, apparently it was all my fault.”

  “Oh no, dear girl. Nothing was your fault. You were a child. I was the adult. I was just in way over my head. You fought me every step of the way, but I should have kept trying. I remember the day I realized you were past the haze of losing your mother, and I should’ve tried again to reach you. But I was a coward. I was afraid to try again and be denied again. Your affection meant so much to me, and never gaining it is one of my biggest regrets.”

  Nikki was crying. Not soft, small tears but giant, hiccuping sobs.

  “Nikki, are you still there? Are you all right?”

  “No. I’m not all right. I’m so sorry I did that. I’m so sorry I pushed you away like that. Things could’ve been so much better, and it is all my fault.”

  “No. I told you. It’s not all your fault. It’s mine. I was the adult. I was the one who was supposed to keep trying. I was the one who was supposed to make everything better between us.”

  Nikki didn’t have a rebuttal to that. They could sit there all day taking blame. What mattered was how they moved forward. “I think we can both agree we both should’ve tried harder. I’d like to try now though. It might be twenty years too late, but I’d love for you and me to start over. Can we do that?”

  “Yes, dear. I’d love that too.” Nikki could hear the tears in Gloria’s voice too. “As happy as I am that you want a relationship, I have to ask… What brought this on?”

  In the spirit of bonding and moving forward, maybe girl-talk was a good first step. “Well, I met a guy, and he has a son. Except he didn’t tell me about his son. He lied by omission, and he says he did it because of something I said.”

  “Well, what did you say?”

  Nikki hesitated. Could she tell Gloria that she was the reason Nikki never wanted to be a stepmom? Oh, what the heck. Here goes nothing. “I miiiiiight have told him I never wanted to be a stepmom. In my defense, I would have never said that to his face if I knew he had a kid.”