The Perfect Gift

by Emma Hannigan

  The phone rang a couple of times and she took bookings for overnight stays. She had very few vacancies for the next four months. She knew she ought to be proud of her business and how well she was doing, but Keeley was beginning to find all the work exhausting. The joy had seeped out of it over the years. Perhaps it was because her sixtieth birthday was approaching, she mused. Maybe it wasn’t just a number after all? Maybe her body was going to suddenly shut down and not allow her to manage as well as before.

  Once the cakes were out of the oven, she left them to cool while she drove back to Liv’s house. It only took a few minutes to dress the beds, but the bathrooms were also in a state.

  ‘You need to scrub this place from top to bottom, Liv,’ she said. ‘Have a bit of pride in your home. It’s better for you and the children and Martin. Let them see what a lovely place they have to live. It teaches the children respect too.’ Keeley thought of little Jess rolling around in the popcorn and Doug eating a scone with no plate, dropping crumbs all over the carpet.

  ‘What’s the point?’ Liv shot back. ‘They just trash the place after ten minutes and besides, Martin won’t be here, so it’s not going to impress him.’

  Keeley sighed. It wasn’t easy for Liv with Martin away so much, but she was an adult. A mother of two. Keeley knew that at some point she needed to take a small step back and encourage her daughter to take control of her own home. She decided that time had come.

  ‘I’ll go now, love. I’ve a lot to do in my own house. See you soon?’

  ‘OK,’ Liv said. ‘See you.’

  Keeley couldn’t help feeling irritated again as she left Liv sitting on the sofa. There was no word of thanks or any kind of recognition that she’d dropped everything and driven over twice to help. The buck stops here, Liv, she thought.

  Chapter 8

  Claus returned early in the afternoon, looking a little worried.

  ‘Ida is in the car,’ he said. ‘She was so sick the boat had to turn and bring us back. She’s never been on such a small vessel and unfortunately it didn’t suit her.’

  ‘Oh no, poor Ida,’ Keeley said as she followed Claus outside. ‘Let me help her inside. I’ll make her a nice cup of tea. That should settle her tummy.’

  Ida was green in the face and obviously very unwell. Between them they managed to bring her to her room and Claus waited outside while Keeley helped her into bed.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Ida said in a voice barely above a whisper. ‘You barely know me and you are putting me to bed like a child.’

  ‘Don’t you worry,’ she said. ‘There’s nothing worse than feeling seasick. I’ve been there and it’s just awful. Will I bring you tea?’

  ‘Do you know, I’d rather just sleep,’ she said.

  ‘No problem, call me if you need anything.’

  When she found Claus, he was outside looking across the road at the view.

  ‘How wonderful to have this beautiful scenery on your doorstep.’

  ‘Yes, we love it here, I must say.’

  She offered him a cup of tea, which he accepted gratefully. Inviting him into the kitchen, she explained that guests didn’t usually come to this part of the house.

  He sat at the kitchen table and seemed instantly at home. She’d finished the birthday cake and as she held the fridge door open with her foot, she studded a single candle in the middle. Feeling slightly foolish, she lit it and then produced it.

  ‘I won’t sing, if you don’t mind! I’m not blessed with a good voice.’

  ‘You made this for me?’ Claus looked up at her in total shock. ‘Oh my …’ He teared up and instantly fumbled a handkerchief from his trouser pocket. ‘Oh silly me. I’m sorry, but Heidi used to bake for my birthday and I haven’t had a cake since she died.’

  ‘I honestly didn’t mean to upset you,’ she said in alarm.

  ‘Oh no, Keeley, you haven’t. You’ve made my day. Thank you so much.’

  He blew out the candle and smiled at her. ‘I thought my birthday was ruined, but it’s turning out to be the best one in years.’

  ‘Ah you’re very easily pleased,’ she said with a laugh.

  The doorbell rang and she excused herself. Poking her head back into the kitchen, she grabbed keys and explained that she needed to check in some guests.

  He waved to let her know that he was perfectly happy and had found a newspaper to read.

  Once the first couple were settled, another car arrived with the remaining guests for the night. They too were happy with their rooms and explained that they were there for a wedding the following day at the castle. They were all heading over to the castle for the evening. Keeley gave them keys to the front door and left them to unpack, after checking breakfast times.

  Claus looked a little worried when she found him later.

  ‘I don’t think Ida can come for dinner. She’d prefer to stay in bed,’ he said. ‘It’s too late to cancel and besides, I’ve been looking forward to it. I don’t suppose you and your good husband would join me?’

  ‘Oh,’ Keeley was flummoxed. ‘I’m not sure I can get in touch with Doug now. Let me try.’ She rushed toward the house before remembering her manners. ‘Thank you, Claus, it’s a lovely offer.’

  She dialled Doug’s number, but it went directly to voicemail. She left a message, telling him about Claus’s offer and asking him to call her back as soon as he could. She updated Claus and checked that Ida would be all right alone.

  ‘She lives alone in Germany,’ he confirmed. ‘She’s perfectly happy in her bed. She’s not a needy woman.’

  The other guests had left and the house was very quiet by six o’clock. There was still no word from Doug, so Keeley reluctantly told Claus she’d better not go.

  ‘Oh, I see … I must tell you I am very disappointed. I thought it would make a nice evening.’

  ‘It would, of course,’ she said quickly. ‘But I can’t get an answer from Doug, and I’ve no idea what time he’ll be back.’

  ‘In that case, can’t you leave him a note? He is not contactable. So why should you miss out on a dinner?’

  When he put it that way, it seemed so straightforward to Keeley.

  ‘Do you know, you’re dead right!’ she said. ‘I’ll have a quick shower and we can go. I’ll drive.’

  ‘Oh good,’ he said, looking delighted. ‘Who knows, maybe Doug will be back before we depart and can join us after all.’

  Keeley pulled on her shower cap so as not to wet her hair. It was a clod of curls at the best of times, but when it was wet she felt like a poodle and she wasn’t great at styling it at home. Opting for a simple white linen trouser suit with a brightly patterned camisole and sandals, she applied some make-up and decided she’d do.

  ‘Wow,’ Claus said looking truly awestruck. ‘You look wonderful, Keeley. I am proud to walk into a castle with such an elegant woman.’

  ‘Oh really?’ she asked, looking down at her clothes. ‘I was aiming for practical and comfortable. But if you think it goes as far as being elegant, I’m delighted.’

  Doug wasn’t a man for compliments. He was always kind and polite, but it wasn’t really in his nature to comment on what she was wearing. Unless she had a streak of coal dust across her cheek or she’d tied her hair up with a pair of knickers and a guest was approaching the front door, he didn’t comment on her appearance.

  Keeley tried Doug’s mobile phone one last time and left yet another voice message. She scribbled a note and left that on the kitchen table. As they drove the ten minutes to the castle along the winding coast road, she felt distinctly odd.

  ‘It’s a little uncomfortable for me being in this strange car with a woman I barely know,’ Claus said as if reading her mind.

  ‘Yes, I feel the same way!’ She laughed and instantly the atmosphere lightened.

  ‘I’m not in the habit of taking married women to dinner in castles,’ he chuckled.

  ‘I don’t often go out with other men either,’ she said.

  ‘And so we�
�ll put this awkwardness to one side and enjoy the evening, yes?’

  ‘Totally,’ she grinned. It was so refreshing to find a person who was straight-talking.

  At the hotel reception, Marie raised an eyebrow. ‘Hello there, Keeley,’ she said, looking from her to Claus.

  ‘Hi Marie,’ she said with a smile. ‘Claus is one of my guests and it’s his birthday.’

  ‘So Keeley agreed to accompany me,’ he finished.

  Marie looked Claus up and down with obvious disdain and tutted before leading them to a table. ‘Enjoy your evening and give my regards to Doug, won’t you?’ she said. Then with a face that would stop a clock, she banged down the menus and strode away.

  Keeley giggled softly. ‘She thinks I’ve started some sort of escort agency at the B&B,’ she whispered. ‘Folks around here are very set in their ways. I’ve no doubt that Doug will hear about where we are well before he reads my note on the kitchen table. This is one of the remaining places in the world where whispers still travel on the wind!’

  ‘Really?’ he said, looking amused. ‘And how do the locals take to new foreign residents?’

  ‘Ah there are lots of holiday homes in the area. That’s allowed. Welcomed even. But an old married lady like me pitching up here at the castle with a dashing foreign gentleman …’ Her eyebrow shot up with the fun of it all. ‘I’ll be a social outcast by morning!’

  ‘You don’t look too perturbed by the prospect,’ he said.

  ‘Believe me, Claus, I have always done the right thing. It actually feels great to cause some innocent gossip.’

  ‘Just wait until we start waltzing after dessert,’ he said with a belly laugh.

  As they ordered food and Keeley agreed she would have one glass of wine with her meal, she glanced around the dining room. There were many other couples, some of whom were barely speaking to each other. For the first time ever, Keeley wondered who they all were and why they weren’t enjoying the company of the person sitting opposite. Did people think Claus was her husband? She glanced over at him. He looked tanned and relaxed and incredibly attractive. She felt a shiver of excitement as she caught a neighbouring female diner staring at him appreciatively.

  Claus raised his glass to her. ‘To a fantastic birthday with a wonderful hostess.’

  Keeley clinked his glass, feeling like a teenager once more.

  Chapter 9

  Nell was accustomed to storms by now. They rarely made her nervous any more. In the beginning, when she was getting used to the new noises and how the different conditions affected the lighthouse, she had felt anxious. Growing up in Dublin, she’d never truly known the full force of nature. Nor had she known its beauty.

  When Laura was small she’d often crawl in beside her and cuddle under the covers.

  ‘It sounds like the wind is trying to get in.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I won’t let it. Inside is only for you and me, Laura.’

  Nell didn’t want to encourage her daughter to leave her own bed, feeling it was better for the child to have a sense of independence. But she’d loved those special nights when Laura’s tiny body tucked in beside hers, long hair splayed across the pillow and her angelic face looking so calm. She often lay awake staring at her, while saying a silent prayer that she’d stay well.

  For months and even years after Laura departed, Nell had carried her grief like a lead ball. The weight of the hollow pain in her heart was almost suffocating. The fact she lived alone in such remote surroundings meant she could wallow all the more.

  ‘I know you won’t thank me this minute,’ Mo said, ‘but I’ve brought a friend today. This is Dr Stephens. I call her Mary and that works just fine too.’

  Nell had wanted to strangle Mo, and Mary. The intrusion was too much for her to handle but luckily for all concerned, her anger left her speechless. Mo had disappeared and left her eyeballing this stranger in her own kitchen.

  As it turned out, Mary was a nice woman. Nell couldn’t fault her and to give her her due, she was only trying to help. They talked for an hour and Nell agreed to take her business card and call her if she felt the need. The card was thrown in a drawer, where it still lay.

  As time marched on and the seasons came and went, Nell knew she had a decision to make. A man in a suit from the local government office arrived, looking nervously at her, as if her reputation preceded her.

  ‘In light of your bereavement, we felt it only right that we should come and check that you are all right,’ he said. ‘I … We at the council … Eh …’

  ‘I’m fine,’ she stated. ‘I’m not going to throw myself into the raging sea. I don’t want to leave the lighthouse. If and when I do, I’ll give you plenty of notice. So you can go back to the other men in suits and tell them the box has been ticked.’

  ‘Eh right … Thank you.’

  ‘Goodbye.’ She’d held the door open and the man scuttled to his car and drove off at such speed, no doubt with great relief.

  As time passed Nell’s heart had healed somewhat. She didn’t feel truly lonely that often. She didn’t allow herself. In fact, she’d gone so far as to have stern words with herself many years ago and made the conscious decision to make the most of her life at Ballyshore lighthouse. Nobody was holding a gun to her head, after all. This wasn’t Hotel California; she could leave any time she liked.

  But she was still human, so every once in a while a wave of aching loss swept over her without warning. On those occasions she liked to sit at the edge of the water and watch its awesome power. She’d think long and hard about all the places she hadn’t visited. She had pots of money. Each month more of the stuff rolled into her bank account and she rarely spent a cent of it.

  She could go on a cruise or travel to some far-flung place like the Seychelles. She could take a trip to the city and buy designer boots for a thousand euros if she felt like it. The very thought of that sort of extravagance made her feel queasy all the same. She inevitably came to the conclusion that she was as happy here as she could be. The problem wasn’t with her location or indeed the boots she was wearing. It was with her heart. That heartache would follow her no matter where she ended up. So staying at home was the best answer. To Nell’s mind, there was a lot to be said for familiarity.

  Today, as she watched the storm gathering outside, she felt a sudden urge to cry, one that was so gut-wrenching she had a physical desire to curl into a foetal position on the floor. Instead she sat cross-legged on the rug in front of the two-bar heater. Although it was supposed to be summer, Nell felt oddly cold. Lighting fires was forbidden as the smoke could cause the search light to be blurred, so the next best thing was her little electric heater. As she stared at the long orangey bars, tears coursed down her cheeks. Her body convulsed uncontrollably as she let go and gave in to her feelings of desperation.

  Unaware of the time, she eventually unplugged the heater and made her way to her bedroom. Kicking off her shoes, she crawled under the duvet fully clothed. The warmth and darkness soothed her burning eyes as she fell into a tumultuous sleep. In her dreams, Laura was walking toward her. She was on the grassy track that led to the lighthouse. Her gait was sprightly and her face beamed. She seemed excited and eager to get to her, almost as if she had some incredible news to share. When they were only a few feet apart, just as she was about to embrace her, Laura disappeared.

  She’d had similar dreams a thousand times before, but for some reason this one offered more comfort than previous ones. Laura’s face had never been so vividly clear. She looked older, too. Not the age she’d been last time Nell had seen her. More the age she should be now …

  Shifting her position in the bed, Nell snuggled down and fell into a deep sleep.

  At first light, she stretched and got out of bed, walking slightly mechanically and wishing she’d had the foresight to remove her clothes. She felt dishevelled and grimy as she made her way to the observatory to take the readings. The wind had died down somewhat, but not as much as she’d anticipated. It looked as
if it was going to be a horrid day ahead.

  She showered and put on fresh clothes and knew she’d feel better after something to eat and a cup of creamy coffee.

  A scraping and banging noise from under the lighthouse alerted her. Either the outside wooden door that led to the electric control panel had blown open or a wild animal had forced it open to crawl in to take shelter. Knowing it would only irritate her and spoil her breakfast, she ventured down the spiral staircase to the front door and pulled on her boots.

  She made her way to the door. Sure enough, it was flapping on its hinges. Just as she was about to slam it shut and secure the large bolt, she spotted a pair of eyes staring up at her.

  ‘Hello?’ she called out. The eyes blinked, but there was no response.

  ‘Who’s there?’ she shouted again. ‘Come out, for crying out loud.’

  The figure moved suddenly and as it came out of the shadows, she screamed. The figure screamed back and pulled a hood down, covering the terrified eyes.

  ‘It’s OK,’ Nell said. ‘I won’t hurt you.’ She ventured a step forward. ‘Please, it’s too dangerous to be down here. I need to lock this door. Come inside. It’s only me here. I won’t hurt you, I promise.’

  The figure moved forward cautiously and for the first time Nell got a proper look. The girl looked barely more than a child. Her eyes were round with fright and she was spattered with mud and shaking.

  ‘Come on. Come with me. I’ll help you.’

  Nodding, the girl came out from behind the control panel and out of the boiler room into the wind and rain and waited while Nell bolted the door shut once again.

  The wind herded them around the side of the lighthouse and she managed to pull the front door open and usher the girl inside.

  ‘Well that’s some nasty weather out there. The west of Ireland is rarely what we’d call tropical, but that’s unseasonably awful, even for here,’ she said, kicking off her boots. ‘Take your shoes off, please. I don’t do vacuuming and my helper isn’t coming for another few days. You can hang your coat on the hook,’ she said pointing to the narrow coat rack. She looked at the girl again and realised she wasn’t wearing a coat. All she had was a zip-up hoody that was nowhere near warm enough for the day that was in it. She stood motionless, with her eyes cast to the floor. Nell beckoned for her to follow her up the staircase to the kitchen.