The Perfect Gift

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘Thanks Róisín,’ Liv said. ‘So how was it, collecting your stuff from the cottage?’

  ‘Strangely enough, Jill was really emotional! Odd seeing as I’m the one moving out. She was funny, though, her main worry is that she won’t have anyone to watch My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding with. Apparently Gordon doesn’t get it.’

  ‘Aw poor Jill! Tell her to come here and she can watch whatever she likes with us.’ They were flicking through the channels when Róisín’s mobile rang.

  ‘Hello?’

  ‘Hi Róisín, it’s Rob here.’

  ‘Ah hi Rob,’ she said. ‘How are you? Sorry, can you hold on for one second?’

  She covered the phone with her hand and mouthed to Liv that it was a supplier and she needed to talk to him about an order. She rushed to her bedroom and shut the door.

  ‘Sorry about that, Rob. So how are you?’

  ‘Not too bad, thanks. Yourself?’

  ‘Yeah, OK. I’m actually in the process of moving house. I’m staying with my sister for a while as it happens.’

  ‘Oh right. Listen it’s really short notice, but I need to go to Galway for a couple of days and I was going to leave now and come straight to Ballyshore on my way. I got a room in a guesthouse in the village so if it suited, maybe we could meet up for a drink? No pressure at all … it probably doesn’t suit if you’re in the middle of moving.’

  ‘Let me just clear it with my sister. She’s not feeling great at the moment so I might need to stick around with her.’

  As she made her way back to the living room, Róisín heard voices and was surprised to see Liv laughing and joking with her old school friends Mags and Sheena.

  ‘The girls have dropped by,’ she said, stating the obvious. Gone was the forlorn look of earlier and it was clear Liv was preparing for a girly night of giggles and tipples.

  ‘You OK if I head out for a bit?’ Róisín asked while waving at the others.

  ‘Sure. You going on a hot date?’ Liv teased.

  ‘Nothing like that,’ Róisín said. ‘Just meeting a supplier for a bit.’

  The girls continued chatting and Róisín went back to Rob as she walked back to her bedroom.

  ‘I’d love to get out for a bit. Give me a shout when you’re near the village.’

  ‘Perfect,’ he said. ‘See you then. Bye.’ He hung up before she could respond.

  Róisín finished her unpacking and had a quick shower. Not wanting to drink and drive, she accepted the offer of a glass of wine with the girls and planned to order a taxi to take her to the Thatch.

  ‘Ooh it’s a date so?’ Liv said with a grin, when she said who she was meeting.

  ‘Hardly,’ she replied. ‘He’s a nice guy, but he’s more like my brother, you know?’

  ‘Yeah. Millions might believe you, sister dear, but I know you too well. You’re counting down the minutes until you meet him. I can see it in your eyes.’

  ‘I am not!’ she giggled.

  Thankfully the conversation turned to Keeley’s birthday, and Róisín asked the girls to come up with fun ideas for it. Rob texted to say he was five minutes away so she called a taxi and grabbed a denim jacket and her bag.

  ‘See you later,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do,’ Liv yelled back as the others giggled. ‘Which gives you plenty of scope!’

  Rob was already sitting at a table in the Thatch when she walked in.

  ‘Hi, how are you?’ he asked smiling warmly. ‘Hope I didn’t interrupt your evening?’

  ‘Not at all, I was actually glad to get out! It’s like a witches’ coven at Liv’s place. Her children are off being minded, her husband is working away and her school friends are there. They’ll be swinging out of the lights before long! I love a bit of craic, but they’re kind of on a different level to me.’

  ‘How so?’ he asked as he ordered her a drink.

  ‘Ah, they’re all married with kids and their nights together are filled with chats about husbands and how hard it is being a mother. They’re lovely, but I guess they’re on another wavelength.’

  ‘I know what you mean,’ he said. ‘All my friends are either engaged or married with kids at this stage, too.’

  ‘Have you thought any more about popping the question?’ she asked.

  He pulled a face. ‘That’s kind of why I’ve run away for a couple of days. My dad and I had a chat and he’s said he doesn’t want me marrying Theresa unless it’s what I truly want.’

  ‘And is it?’ Róisín asked.

  ‘I was convinced I was being pressurised into it. I was happily blaming it all on my father. But now that he’s taken his foot off my head, I’m a bit lost.’

  ‘I see,’ Róisín nodded. ‘Listen, you’ve probably chosen the wrong person to ask for advice on marriage.’

  ‘Have you ever had a long-term relationship?’ he asked.

  Róisín regarded him. He was a supplier. A work associate. Yet, she found him so easy to chat to. Pushing that fact aside, she decided to order them another drink and answer the question.

  ‘I was with a man in France …’ she said and proceeded to tell him all about Jacques. She looked at the table when it came to the part about the IVF.

  ‘I got a letter recently,’ she said and told him what had happened. It actually felt good to talk it over, and she let the whole story spill out.

  ‘Wow,’ he said whistling. ‘I’m so sorry to hear that. You must be heartbroken.’

  ‘I’m really sad that Jacques died. Of course I am. But we weren’t right for one another. There was never a chance we would get back together. But I’ve been left with a decision. I contacted the fertility clinic to ask them what my options are.’

  ‘What did they say?’

  ‘Nothing. I’ve had no response yet.’

  ‘Would you like to … implant them?’ he asked.

  ‘I don’t know …’ There was the truth. That’s what was really bothering her. ‘What if those frozen embryos are my only chance of having a family of my own?’

  ‘Why would it be?’ he asked. ‘I’m not trying to be smart here, but who’s to say you won’t meet someone and have a baby?’

  ‘I’m thirty. We had problems conceiving which was why we did the IVF. There’s nobody on the horizon. I live in Ballyshore and work in a small business. What are the odds?’

  ‘Lots of people come in and out of your life each and every day,’ Rob argued. ‘You never know when the man of your dreams might waltz in and order a tub of pâté!’ She grinned. But it was only fleeting.

  ‘I’m not very good at this,’ she admitted.

  ‘What? Making decisions?’

  ‘No, talking about my innermost thoughts …’

  ‘Me neither,’ he said.

  ‘God, you could’ve fooled me. You’re really open and chatty,’ said Róisín.

  ‘It depends who I’m talking to,’ he said sheepishly. ‘I’m going to have to make a choice and stick to it. I’ve given myself a deadline. I’ll decide by the end of the summer. By the end of August I’ll either be engaged or a free agent.’ He shuffled his feet on the floor. ‘I wish I had my mother to advise me actually. It’s times like these when I need her more than ever.’

  He sat back and sighed. ‘Nothing is simple, is it?’ he said. ‘If I ever have children, I really hope I’ll be a good father and that their mother is there too. That’s the ideal, isn’t it? Some people dream of winning the Lottery, I’d settle for a complete family where everyone looks out for one another.’

  Róisín felt like sobbing. He was the most lovely guy she’d met in a long time. They were both deep in thought for a while until he broke the silence.

  ‘You know what I think you should do? I think you should sit down with your parents and ask them all the questions you’ve been suppressing. Go for it. They love you and want you to be happy. They know you love them. Do it.’

  ‘And you need to make a decision as to whether you want to settle for a woman you don�
��t really love or set yourself free and allow your heart to find what you truly deserve.’

  There was a moment when their eyes met. She could barely breathe. She wanted to say that she didn’t mean he should find someone like her … that he should find someone he was comfortable with, someone who made him laugh … instead of digging herself in deeper, she just stayed quiet.

  ‘Let’s have another drink and talk about something mundane like the weather,’ he said. ‘We always seem to end up having very deep chats!’

  They stuck to their guns and talked about everything from their favourite cocktail to what they’d do if they did win the Lottery – this time Rob talked about fast cars and luxurious cruises rather than a wife and children.

  Róisín couldn’t believe it when Joseph came over and told them it was an hour past closing time.

  ‘I left you to chat while I cleaned up, but I’ll be prosecuted if the police catch you here at this time.’

  They thanked him and walked out onto the street. Róisín dialled for a taxi, knowing it would take at least fifteen minutes. They sat on the wall overlooking the sea and listened to the water lapping against the rocks. There was still a good bit of brightness in the sky.

  ‘I love this time of night,’ she said. ‘It’s as if the world is holding onto the day by its fingernails. Not wanting to let go.’

  ‘Which is kind of ironic seeing as it will all begin again in a few hours,’ he said.

  They sat in companionable silence until the lights from the taxi invaded the inkiness of the air.

  ‘I hope you find the answers you need,’ she said as she stood up to leave.

  ‘I will,’ he said. ‘I have a deadline now. I’ve said it out loud so it’s legally binding!’

  ‘Sleep well, and pop in for some breakfast or lunch if you feel like it,’ she said. He waved and then clearly thought better of it and walked over and kissed her on the cheek. She inhaled his musky scent and had to stop herself closing her eyes. Turning around she rushed to the taxi and waved as she departed.

  She opened the front door gently and crept in the door, not wanting to disturb Liv. As she walked to the living room, the sight that met her made her gasp. The girls were gone and Liv was passed out on the floor with a half bottle of port beside her.

  ‘Oh Liv, bad choice, lovie. Your head will feel that in the morning.’

  Being careful not to bang her burnt and bandaged arm, Róisín managed to pull her sister into her room. Removing her jeans, she tucked her into bed and left the door open in case she needed her. She put a glass of water and paracetamol on the bedside locker.

  As she lay in her own bed a few moments later, all thoughts of Rob were tossed aside as she worried about Liv and how she seemed to be coming apart at the seams.

  Chapter 28

  Nell had always enjoyed her early morning cup of tea. This morning, as Mouse was sleeping in after their expedition to the city, she savoured the now rare silence.

  She’d been longing to look at the newspapers properly. She grabbed the local one first and pored over the stories of interest in the area. Apparently Ballyshore was experiencing a huge increase in tourism. The newly finished playground was partially to thank, along with the annual food festival.

  She smiled as she stared at the photo of Mouse, posing with one hand on her hip and one leg bent. The wind had caught her caramel-coloured hair and was blowing it prettily to one side.

  There were six full pages of pictures of people taking part in the race, people eating pancakes, people pushing prams and lots of beaming faces as they sat in the sun drinking cool beer. The village had come a long way over the years. She cut out some of the photos and stuck them into her book.

  As always, she wondered what might have become of Laura if she’d lived. Would she still be here or would she have stayed away?

  ‘Hey,’ Mouse said appearing in bare feet and startling her.

  ‘Hi,’ Nell said. ‘You’re up early.’

  ‘Yeah, I’ve got a plan. I’d like to do something,’ she said looking shy.

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘I want to try and read the first page of the yellow book.’

  ‘OK,’ Nell said rushing to find it. ‘Now take your time and don’t be disappointed if you find it difficult at first.’

  Mouse put it onto the table and peeled back the cover. She leaned forward and inhaled the fresh smell.

  At first she faltered and used her finger to trace each word. Her voice became stronger and less hesitant as she progressed. In what seemed like seconds later she was finished. She looked up at Nell.

  ‘What are you crying for?’ she asked.

  ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re some girl, do you know that?’ Nell said shaking her head in awe. ‘If I had a brass band in the cupboard, I’d bring them out now! You are brilliant.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Mouse said. ‘I can’t believe I did it, Nell.’

  ‘Do you realise there’s no stopping you now? If you can learn to read that whole page, with a little more time you will read every single word you see!’

  Mouse gripped the book and looked as if she was deep in thought.

  ‘What’s going on in that head of yours?’ Nell asked.

  ‘Do you think I could try for a job?’

  ‘Well,’ Nell hesitated. She didn’t want to dash the girl’s hopes, but she hadn’t any qualifications so it might be difficult just at the moment.

  ‘You see I saw an advert. The last time we were at the village. In the window of the pub, I sounded it out and I’m sure it said Help Wanted.’

  ‘Well it would be worth a try,’ said Nell, ‘but they might want to know if you’ve any experience.’

  ‘I spent most of my childhood in pubs or outside of them, does that count?’ she asked with a grin.

  ‘You never know,’ Nell said. ‘Go and make yourself look neat and tidy and I’ll take you to the village in the car.’

  Nell made toast and fresh tea for them to share and by the time Mouse reappeared it was ready.

  ‘I don’t want anything,’ Mouse said looking terrified.

  ‘Have a little bit and then you won’t fall over in fear.’

  There wasn’t much chat in the car and Nell figured it was best to leave Mouse to gather her thoughts.

  ‘Will you come in with me?’ Mouse asked. Nell wanted to say no, but the pleading in the young girl’s eyes softened her.

  ‘I don’t think I’ll exactly help your cause, but I’ll stay at the door if that makes you feel better.’

  They knocked on the locked door and waited. After a few minutes the door was flung open.

  ‘What can I do for you, ladies?’ Joseph asked. ‘We don’t open for another little while.’

  ‘I’m here to ask about a job,’ Mouse said. ‘I’d like to try and do it if you’d give me a shot.’

  ‘I see, Miss Mouse, and have you a CV with you?’ he asked.

  ‘A what?’

  ‘A CV, with the details of what you’ve done before and all your information.’

  ‘Any information I need is in here,’ Mouse said knocking on her own head. ‘As for the experience, that’s easy because I have none. But I’d do whatever you need. I’ve never actually had a job before. But I really want one. I’m starting a new life, you see. I was in Dublin and it was shi— terrible. Ma died and I came here to be with Nell.’

  ‘She’s living with me up at the lighthouse,’ Nell confirmed.

  ‘I heard as much,’ said Joseph. He scratched his chin and looked at Mouse. ‘Would you serve the food and do what the chef tells you? He can be a bit of a nark. Would you be able for him?’

  ‘I grew up in the flats with two brothers who would’ve happily stamped me into the dirt and I never let them. So I’m sure your chef will be a pussy cat in comparison.’

  ‘I’ll give you a trial for a week,’ he said.

  ‘No way!’ Mouse said, looking from him to Nell. Nell smiled and winked at her.

  ‘Thanks so much,
Joseph. I won’t let you down. I don’t rob and I won’t curse at the customers.’

  ‘Well, that’s all good,’ he said.

  ‘When will I start?’

  He looked at his watch and over at Nell. She nodded at him.

  ‘Now?’

  ‘Deadly,’ she said. ‘I’d nothing on this afternoon apart from practising my reading. I’m only learning, but I’m doing well and I try really hard.’

  He looked at Mouse and Nell noticed a flash of sympathy.

  ‘You sound like you’re making all sorts of great changes in your life, Mouse. I’d say your mother is watching over you and proud as punch.’

  Mouse beamed.

  ‘Does she need something specific to wear?’ Nell asked.

  ‘I have Aertex tops with the pub name on them,’ he said. ‘I’ll give her a couple and the jeans she has on are perfect.’

  ‘What time will I collect her later?’ Nell asked.

  ‘Four o’clock, if that suits?’ Joseph said. ‘We’ll see how we go today and if we’re both happy, we’ll fill out a form later on. Is that fair?’

  Mouse nodded.

  Nell thanked Joseph and quickly scribbled her phone number on a piece of paper then wandered back outside with Mouse in tow.

  ‘Can you believe it?’ she said with her eyes shining. ‘I have a real job, Nell!’

  ‘You’re a superstar,’ Nell said. ‘I am so proud. Now take your time and listen to what you’re being asked to do. I’ll see you at four. If you have any issues, call me.’

  Nell couldn’t stop smiling as she drove back to the lighthouse. By the time she’d finished a cup of coffee and done her usual morning checks, she felt mildly bereft. Looking around, she realised how accustomed she’d become to Mouse’s company. This pain was nothing like the all-consuming horror after Laura’s death, but it was a sad reminder all the same.

  A wave of dread swept over Nell. She’d let Mouse in. Not just into the lighthouse, but into her heart. She’d vowed she wasn’t ever going to do that with another person after Laura. She hadn’t meant to become attached to her, but now that Mouse was here, Nell couldn’t imagine being on her own again.