Winter Wishes: A Regency Christmas Anthology

by Cheryl Bolen

  Fumbling for the door latch, she let herself back out with a hurried, “I didn’t see anything. In fact, I wasn’t even here.”

  She released a shaky chuckle once she’d escaped the room. Well, it appeared James had found another way to celebrate his newfound freedom from unwelcome houseguests.

  Never mind—there was always Edward or Grace. Setting out in search of them, she made her way to the library and cautiously opened the door.

  And stood frozen in shock for several seconds when she realized Edward was lying over Grace on the settee, his mouth traveling down the column of her throat while his wife let out a little sound that spoke volumes about how much she was enjoying her husband’s attentions.

  They hadn’t noticed her entrance, so when she could move again, Emily closed the door as quietly as possible. She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, unable to forget that little sound.

  More than anything, she wanted the type of relationship her brothers had both found. Maybe she should take Jonah up on his offer and allow him to court her in earnest before he changed his mind.

  She decided the safest course of action was to return to the dower house since she was unlikely to run into anyone engaged in a heated embrace there.

  Chapter 10

  With the way her day was going, Emily wasn’t surprised to find Jonah at the dower house. His mother was staying there, after all, so it made sense he would visit. But she couldn’t help wondering if the universe was conspiring against her that morning, going out of its way to dangle before her everything she would never have.

  Jonah, who was seated in a comfortable armchair, stood when she entered the morning room, which was her mother’s favorite room in the house. She wasn’t sure why they called it that since it faced south and was filled with natural light for most of the day. Mama and Mrs. Stanton were sitting together on the settee, both engaged with their needlework.

  “We didn’t expect you back so soon,” her mother said, lowering the square of fabric onto her lap. Mrs. Stanton looked up from her embroidery as Emily moved farther into the room.

  “Everyone was busy at the manor.” She really didn’t want to explain what they’d been so busy doing, so she turned the conversation to them. “What were you discussing? I heard laughter from all the way down the hall.”

  “Jonah was just telling us about some of the adventures he had while in India.” Mrs. Stanton gazed fondly at her son. “He has the most amusing stories—I’d almost forgotten how he could entertain his father and me for hours.”

  “I’m sure he does,” Emily said in reply, grateful for the change in subject.

  “What was everyone busy doing?” Jonah asked.

  Emily was going to kill him. She turned to meet his questioning gaze and didn’t miss the amusement lurking there, as though he knew exactly what was going on at the main house. Now that she thought about it, maybe that was way he’d chosen to visit his mother. “Certainly nothing that required my attention.”

  She narrowed her eyes slightly, promising retribution if he pursued the current subject. Fortunately, he understood her unspoken threat and didn’t say anything further.

  “You’re welcome to join us,” Mama said. “I can call for some tea to help warm you. I know how cold it is out. Thank heavens we won’t have to make the trip back and forth to the main house after today.”

  Emily lowered herself onto the settee next to her mother. From the look on both her and Mrs. Stanton’s faces, it was clear they were holding something back.

  “Are you going to make me beg, or are you going to tell me what has you both so happy?”

  Mama laughed and gave her a pat on the knee. “I never could keep anything from Emily. She’s far too adept at reading my expressions.”

  Emily merely waited, not bothering to comment on what they could all see for themselves. Her mother was terrible at keeping a secret, a trait that Emily knew she shared. Her mother’s eyes danced with delight, and it was obvious to everyone that she was excited.

  Jonah took his seat again and answered her question. “It appears you’re going to be moving to the main house for the week leading up to Christmas.”

  “I thought it would make a nice change of pace to spend the Christmas season together, especially since Jonah will be there. And I’ll admit I’m looking forward to seeing George and William every day.”

  Somehow Emily kept from bouncing in her seat. She gave her mother a quick hug. “Really? Oh, I must tell my maid what to pack. Although if I forget something, it won’t be too onerous a task to fetch it.”

  When her gaze moved back to Jonah, she noted the fond smile on his face as he took in her excitement. Anticipation shot through her when their eyes met. They were going to be seeing much more of one another in the next week, which would give them both the opportunity to discover whether their pretend courtship could develop into something more.

  And in that moment, Emily knew what she had to do. She needed to discover whether she and Jonah were physically compatible. Some might say she was acting with ill-advised haste, but there was only one way to learn what a marriage to Jonah would entail. They were already friends… Could they be more?

  Logically she knew she might come to regret her hasty decision, but she’d always trusted her instincts and they’d never led her astray. And the more she got to know him, the more she began to believe that Jonah might be the man she’d been looking for all along.

  “Actually, I just remembered that there was something I needed to discuss with Sir Jonah.”

  Jonah raised a brow at the way she emphasized his title. “I am ever at your disposal, Miss Hathaway.”

  The hint of amusement in his voice reminded her of all the reasons they were good together. They shared a sense of humor, and Jonah understood her in a way many others who’d sought her favor hadn’t. Surely it wasn’t too much to hope that perhaps they could have more than friendship.

  She looked directly at her mother, doing everything in her power to keep her expression impassive.

  “This is something we need to discuss in private, Mama.”

  Her mother gave her a penetrating stare, and for a moment Emily feared she’d be able to read her mind. She forced herself not to look away lest she betray the fact that she had ulterior motives for wanting to have a private conversation with Jonah.

  “May I inquire as to the subject of this discussion?”

  Emily didn’t want to lie to her mother, so she opted for evasion instead. “It’s the week before Christmas and I need his assistance with a few matters.”

  Strictly speaking, both statements were true. Hopefully her mother would think she wanted to talk to Jonah about a Christmas gift for Mrs. Stanton.

  Jonah’s mother caught Mama’s eye, a strange look passing between them, before she turned to her son. “Of course. You and Emily are practically siblings, so I know there won’t be anything untoward happening.”

  Emily tried her best to conceal her displeasure at Mrs. Stanton’s characterization of their relationship. Did everyone see them as such? She certainly didn’t see him in the same light as her brothers.

  Jonah followed her into the hallway. They’d scarce crossed the threshold when he spoke, his voice low so their mothers wouldn’t overhear. “I most definitely do not consider you a sister.”

  Emily’s heart soared, and she couldn’t hold back her relief. “Well, that’s good. I find that two overprotective brothers are more than enough.”

  She didn’t say anything else until they reached the drawing room, which was far enough away from the morning room that they could speak freely. To ensure none of the staff would interrupt them, she pulled the door until it was almost closed.

  Jonah stood in the middle of the room, waiting for her to sit. Instead of doing so, she came within a few feet of him and took a deep breath.

  “There’s a matter I need to discuss with you, but I don’t know how you’ll take it.”

  Chapter 11

  Jonah’
s thoughts leaped to scenarios too unpleasant to contemplate, the foremost of which was that, despite her protestations to the contrary, her affections were already engaged elsewhere.

  “You’re secretly betrothed to another.”

  “What?” Emily’s nose scrunched at his statement. “No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

  “What else would you have to tell me that I won’t like? Unless… Did Kirby return? He didn’t press his unwanted attention on you, did he?” He frowned as it occurred to him that perhaps Kirby’s courtship wouldn’t be quite as unwelcome as she’d led him to believe.

  “No, nothing like that. You saw him take his leave. He was already on his way before you disappeared yourself.” She tilted her head. “Why didn’t you tell me you were planning to visit your mother?”

  Jonah didn’t know how to reply to that. He wasn’t about to tell Emily that he’d shared his desire to court her with their mothers, who’d both been delighted by the news. He wasn’t quite ready to share that information with James or Edward—not until he knew whether Emily reciprocated his feelings—but he’d wanted their mothers’ support. He needed to approach this with care, for it had suddenly become far too important to him that Emily see him as more than just an old family friend. Or as a brother.

  “Why don’t you tell me what you wanted to say before I jump to any more conclusions? I assure you, my imagination can be very fruitful.”

  He’d hoped to elicit a laugh from her, but instead Emily gave a sigh and looked away. He waited, resisting the urge to press her.

  “Has Edward told you about his courtship of Grace?”

  Now she had him truly confused. He could in no way imagine how her brother’s relationship with his wife had anything to do with him or Emily.

  “I know they met when he was delivering a letter to her written by a friend who passed away at the end of the war.”

  She examined him closely for several seconds. “Nothing beyond that?”

  “No, of course not. Edward is hardly the type to share the details of his relationship. I do know, however, that he cares for her a great deal.”

  Emily sighed. “He does. And James also loves Sarah.”

  He remembered her Christmas wish that she also find love and felt a pang when he realized he wanted that as well. He’d told her he didn’t know what he wanted for Christmas, but that was no longer true. He wanted Emily.

  He didn’t reply and Emily continued.

  “Sarah didn’t want to wed James. Their union was agreed to by her father, and for reasons she’s never shared with me, she agreed to it. But she’d imagined herself in love with someone else at the time.”

  He winced, imagining the disappointment that knowledge must have cost James. “But they moved beyond that.”

  “Yes. But they were lucky.”

  “Many find happiness with their spouses when presented with similar circumstances.”

  “Yes, and many despise one another, while others merely tolerate their husband or wife.”

  “What do you know of such marriages? I was under the impression your parents were happy as well.”

  “They were,” Emily said with a sigh.

  She sank onto the settee, and Jonah hesitated only a moment before taking a seat in one of the armchairs. He wanted to sit next to her, but it was too soon for that.

  “What is bothering you?”

  He’d almost asked her if she was worried about his declaration that he wanted to court her, but something held him back. Was it possible the beautiful, lively young woman seated before him felt none of the same emotions currently plaguing him? Was she trying to convince herself that a practical union with him would be enough? While he’d expected to enter into such an arrangement when it came time to wed, he found that was the last thing he wanted with Emily. Still, the knowledge that James and Sarah’s love had come after they’d wed gave him some hope.

  “During my time in London, I’ve seen too many people who are unhappy in their marriages. Sarah has pointed out to me every married woman who has approached James about engaging in an affair. He never would, of course—he turns them down and has told Sarah whenever it happens—but his unavailability seems to make him all the more attractive in their eyes.”

  Well, good for James that he could share that information with his wife. It went a long way toward confirming that his friend had chosen well in his marriage despite their unsteady beginnings.

  “It happens, but that’s not the type of marriage I want either. My own parents were happy together before my father’s death.”

  Emily’s gaze softened as she gazed at him, and he had to hold back his desire to bridge the distance between them and kiss her. Before he could do anything, she had to tell him why she needed to speak to him in private.

  “James and Sarah were very fortunate, but I’m not willing to risk my future happiness on luck.”

  “Not even if you consider your future spouse a friend? Surely that weighs the odds more favorably.”

  Emily shook her head, and Jonah felt that denial like a blow. Still, the battle for Emily’s heart wasn’t over yet, and he refused to concede before he’d even entered the fray.

  “I think Grace had the right of it.”

  She stood and he followed suit, gazing at her with confusion as she crossed to the door. For a moment he thought she was going to leave without telling him the reason for this conversation.

  Emily opened the door slightly, and he realized she was checking to make sure no one was present to overhear what she was going to say.

  “And what was this idea of hers?”

  Emily approached him, but this time she didn’t sit. “She and Edward had a tryst before they were wed.”

  Jonah’s heart began to race as he realized what she was suggesting. Still, he wasn’t going to assume. He wanted—no, he needed—to hear her say it.

  “Go on.”

  “I think we should do the same, you and me. That way we’ll know if a future marriage between us has the potential to be as happy as what my brothers have found.”

  His heart screamed yes at the suggestion, but his head cautioned him otherwise. If he hadn’t missed his guess, Emily was a maiden. What if their first time together was filled with more pain than pleasure? It was entirely possible she’d renounce him completely if that happened.

  He also knew that her brothers wouldn’t be pleased with Emily’s plan if they learned of it.

  “And how exactly would we enact this plan of yours?”

  Emily waved a hand. “That’s simple enough. The manor house is quite large. I’m sure we could find a quiet corner. Or we could come here since Mama and Mrs. Stanton won’t be in residence.”

  He wanted to agree, but still he hesitated.

  Emily took a step closer. “I need to know if we can find the same happiness in our own marriage. Given how happy James and Edward are, I don’t want to settle for mere friendship. I like you, Jonah, a great deal. I believe we have a chance at happiness together, but I need to be certain.”

  Jonah didn’t really want to fight her on this anymore, not when it was what he wanted too. “Your brothers are going to kill me. I foresee that I won’t live to see our wedding day if we go through with this plan of yours.”

  “You’ll do it?” Emily’s eyes lit up.

  “Was there ever any doubt?”

  “There was some doubt.” Emily looked away for a moment before meeting his gaze again and continuing. “I feared you might have been teasing me earlier when you said you wanted to court me.”

  He smiled down at her. “I would never tease about something like that. What would be the point?”

  “It was such a surprise. And, well, I found I liked the idea more than I thought wise. Thank you, Jonah.”

  She reached up to place a hand on his arm but stopped short. Her uncharacteristic awkwardness had him reaching out to take her hand in his. As he dropped a kiss on the back of her hand, he noticed she’d removed her gloves and remem
bered that another man had made the same gesture earlier that morning. He took heart from the fact she didn’t remove her hand from his and enjoyed the feel of her skin under his own.

  Emily gave her head a small shake. “I don’t know what to say now. I hadn’t planned this far ahead.”

  “Well,” Jonah said, running his thumb along the back of her hand and taking pleasure in the way she shivered at the contact, “I think I can take it from here.”

  “I’d like that,” she said with an eagerness that touched him deeply.

  “I’m going to show you exactly what you’ve been missing, Emily Hathaway. But first you must agree to my suit in earnest.”

  Emily tilted her head to the side. She glanced at him from under her lashes. “That depends on what you show me, doesn’t it?”

  Jonah gave her hand a sharp tug, and with a small squeak of surprise, Emily fell against him. “Should we seal our pact with a kiss?”

  Emily searched his expression before giving a wordless nod.

  Jonah needed no further encouragement and lowered his mouth to hers. He still held her hand in his as he tried to keep from advancing too quickly, too soon. His mouth moved softly against hers, but he couldn’t hold back his groan when she threaded the fingers of her other hand in the hair at his nape.

  He didn’t even realize he’d thrust his tongue into her mouth until he heard her small gasp of surprise. He tried to pull back, but then she was returning his kiss in earnest. He released her hand and brought her body flush against his as he explored her mouth. He fought the urge to take their embrace further, and it was with great reluctance that he slowed the kiss and stepped back.

  Emily’s breathing was as shaky as his when she looked up at him, wonder in her expression. “In the interest of full honesty, I should tell you that wasn’t my first kiss. But it was by far the best.”

  He said nothing in reply, not wanting to ruin the priceless moment by calling attention to his own past experiences. But he realized the same was also true for him.