by Nash, Willa
“Where are we going?” she asked as I hit the highway.
“Nowhere. Just thought you might want a little breathing room.”
She sagged, then leaned forward, dropping her face into her hands. When her shoulders began to shake, I pulled over to the side of the road and put my hand on her back. She didn’t cry for long but even one tear was enough to rip me apart.
With the exception of her sister, the rest of her family could fuck off.
“I’m okay.” She sniffled and sat straight, wiping her face.
“What can I do, babe?”
She gave me a sad smile. “You’re doing it.”
“Want me to drive you home?” I took her hand from her lap and brought her knuckles to my lips.
“Not really. But how would you feel about some company at the motel for a while?”
I didn’t have to answer.
Elias let out a wild, happy shriek like he understood too.
My kid was damn smart.
Chapter Nineteen
Kerrigan
The chime of my phone jolted me awake, and I scrambled to shut it off before it woke up Elias.
“Dad?” I whispered, pressing it to my ear.
Pierce sat up behind me, his arm still around my waist from how we’d fallen asleep.
“Hey, honey.” Two words and I knew something was wrong.
“What is it? What happened?”
“Sorry to wake you up but I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.”
My heart stopped. “What? Is it Mom?”
“No, we’re all fine. But Zach had a fire at his house tonight.”
“A fire?” I sat up completely, pushing my back against the headboard.
Pierce sat up too, twisting to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. Beside it the clock showed it was four in the morning.
“When?” I asked Dad. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Shaken up, as expected. He’s here. The fire started around midnight.”
I scooched to the end of the bed and stood, searching the floor for my shoes. “Okay. I’ll come over.”
“You don’t have to. But I wanted you to know what’s going on. It’ll be all over town by six.”
“I’m coming over.” Maybe Zach struggled to support me, maybe I was pissed at him for how he’d acted at the party yesterday, but he was still my brother. I ended the call and swiped up my shoes.
“What’s happening?” Pierce stood.
“My brother had a fire at his house. Around midnight, Dad said. I didn’t get more details than that, but he’s at my parents’ place so I’m going over.”
“Give me ten to get Elias packed, then we’ll come with you.”
“You don’t—”
The look he sent me was one I imagined silenced many boardrooms. Pierce was coming.
“I’ll get the bottles.”
While he readied the car seat, I refilled the diaper bag from the supplies scattered around the room. Then I carried it to the Mercedes while he strapped a sleeping baby into his car seat.
Elias whimpered but, by some miracle, stayed asleep. Probably because he’d woken up hungry at two.
The drive across town was quiet other than the directions I gave Pierce. My parents lived on the outskirts of Calamity, their house in the middle of three acres. Their private lane was bordered by lilacs, something Mom had insisted on when I was a kid. What had started as tiny green bushes that we used to weave our bikes around like an obstacle course was now a wall of shrubbery.
“In the spring, all of these are in bloom and sometimes I’ll come over just to walk up and down this road to smell the air.”
Pierce reached over and took my hand.
“Thanks for coming with me.”
“I’m here, Kerr. No matter what.”
I squeezed his hand as we approached the house.
After the party yesterday, we’d gone to the motel room and ordered delivery from the café for dinner. Calamity was embracing the future and had recently approved DoorDash. We’d eaten our sandwiches and played with Elias and after he’d fallen asleep for the night, I’d borrowed a pair of Pierce’s sweats—the same pair I’d worn during our snowstorm. They were mine forever now, something I’d told Pierce as I’d settled into his side for the night. He’d kissed me once, then held me close as I’d fallen asleep to the TV.
We hadn’t spoken about my parents or my brother. And as we parked beside Larke’s car in the driveway, I worried that maybe I should have argued in the motel.
“I can’t promise they’ll be kind.” The fact that I had to put a voice to that thought made me ache.
Before Pierce, I’d been frustrated with my family. Irritated. That was normal, right? All families had a dynamic. But yesterday, after the way they’d treated him and me at the party . . .
“I don’t have a lot of faith in them right now.”
“Hey.” Pierce leaned over, his hand sliding up my neck to cup my cheek. “I’m not here for them. I’m here for you. After enough years, they’ll realize we’re a package deal.”
“Years?” My breath hitched.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He’d said as much before, but tonight, it was starting to sink in. “People will think we’re crazy. That this is too soon.”
“And I don’t give a shit what people think.”
I leaned into his touch. “We have a lot to talk about.” Namely, the accusations my mother had thrown his way yesterday.
“Later.” He kissed my forehead.
My sister stepped out of her car, giving a little wave before she headed to the front door. We were right behind her, hurrying inside.
My parents’ house had been built in the eighties. We’d moved in when I was a toddler and it looked the same as it had then. At the time, it had been one of the nicest homes in Calamity. It was still a beautiful home, but with the honey oak cabinets, brass fixtures and popcorn ceilings, it was dated. Oh, what I could do with this house and $50,000. I’d offered once at a family dinner.
After Zach had scoffed and rolled his eyes, I hadn’t brought it up again.
We walked down the tiled entryway to the sunken living room, where my brother was on the couch. His eyes were red and his hair disheveled. He wore a pair of Dad’s sweatpants and a borrowed Hale Motors T-shirt.
“Hey.” I went straight for the space beside him on the couch. Mom and Larke were crowded in on his other side.
“Hey.” His voice was hoarse. His hair was damp from a recent shower, but the scent of smoke clung to his skin and it wasn’t the scent of cigarettes.
Pierce came into the living room and took one of the leather recliners, setting Elias beside him.
“So what happened?” Larke asked. Her hair was a mess on top of her head, and she was in a pair of green flannel pajama pants paired with a hot-pink hoodie.
Zach stared at the floor as he spoke, his elbows on his knees. “I went to Jane’s after the party. Had a few drinks. The band was playing and that friend of yours was singing. It was busy.”
Most nights were when Lucy was at the microphone.
“I called a cab. Didn’t think I was that drunk but I knew I shouldn’t drive. Got home. Turned on the TV. Woke up in my bed. I must have stumbled in there. The house was full of smoke and when I tried to leave the bedroom, I hit a wall of flames. I had to crawl out through the window. By the time the fire truck showed up, the whole place was just . . . there was fire everywhere.”
He rubbed at his eyes, then dropped his face to his hands.
“Did they say what caused it?” I asked.
“They’ll investigate but after the fire was out, they did a walk-through. The worst of the damage was in the living room.”
“What was in the living room?” Larke asked.
Zach hesitated to answer and a tear dripped down his cheek. He brushed it away, then choked out, “Probably a cigarette.”
No. I closed my eyes and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry
.”
“My own damn fault.” He shook his head, then shoved to his bare feet, pacing the room.
Dad was standing at the mouth of the room, where he’d been during the explanation. He and Mom must have already gotten Zach’s story because neither of them looked surprised. Just . . . sad.
“What can we do?” Larke asked.
Zach shrugged and kept pacing.
“Was anything saved?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and shook his head.
Everything he’d owned had been in that house.
“I think I’m going to lie down for a while,” Zach muttered, then stalked past Dad and disappeared down the hallway that led to our childhood bedrooms.
“Shit,” Larke said when he was out of earshot. “I can’t believe this.”
“How many times have I told him to quit smoking?” Mom wrung her hands in her lap.
“That’s not helpful right now, Mom.”
She shot me a glare. “The only reason he went to the bar was because of the fight you two had at the party.”
My jaw dropped. “Wait. Are you saying this is partly my fault?”
“No. Of course not. It’s just . . .” Her shoulders fell and her eyes flooded. “He lost everything.”
“The important thing is that he’s okay,” I said.
Dad nodded. “Yes, it is.”
The room went still. The magnitude of what had happened was settling. My brother could have died tonight. Had he not woken up in time, he might have suffocated or worse.
Mom must have been thinking the same because she started to weep, quietly at first, until a cry escaped and Larke pulled her close.
When Elias made a little mewl, Pierce unbuckled him from his seat. “Is there a place where I can change him?”
“Sure.” I stood and motioned for him to follow me down the hallway to my old bedroom.
Mom and Dad had turned it into a guest room years ago, but it was still the same shade of lavender I’d painted it at sixteen.
“I’m going back out to sit with Mom and Dad,” I said.
“Okay, babe.” He pulled me in for a quick hug and kiss on the forehead, then let me go.
“Thanks for coming with me. I know it’s awkward but—”
“I’m here.”
He had no idea how much that meant.
When I was in fourth grade, one of my uncles had had a heart attack. It had happened in the middle of the night and when Dad had gotten the call, he’d woken us all up to go to the hospital. When we’d arrived, the waiting room had already been packed with my aunts and other uncles and cousins.
In an emergency, the Hales showed up in numbers.
I knew from friends that it wasn’t normal to show up en masse. Most parents probably would have left their kids behind.
But sometimes support simply meant showing your face. Even if it was awkward. Even if it was hard.
And Pierce was here.
I gave him a small smile and eased out of the room, shutting the door behind me. Then I walked quietly down the hallway, only to run into my dad.
He opened his arms and I walked right into them. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Of course.”
“Not sure it was a great idea to bring him though.”
Every muscle in my body tensed and I wiggled out of his embrace. “Seriously?”
“We’re worried about you too, you know. What happened at the party was not good.”
“Are you blaming me for the fire too?”
“What? No.” Dad raked a hand through his graying hair. “I don’t like it when you kids are fighting. You were right about what you said to Zach. He should have defended you.”
Some of my anger eased. “Thank you.”
“But was that party really the time to bring along Pierce?”
“I’m not going to hide him, Dad.” Not anymore. “He’s important to me. Which should be enough for you guys to be kind. The fact that he came here with me tonight, that he insisted on it even after how you all treated him, should be proof enough for you to give him a chance.”
Dad sighed. “It’s just . . . how do you know he’s not looking for a woman to raise that baby?”
Oh, for fuck’s sake. “I see you’ve talked to Mom.”
“Yes, we’ve talked, and it’s a valid concern.”
“He’s worth billions of dollars. Billions. Pierce doesn’t need me to raise that baby. He’s got a nanny. He can hire a team of nannies.”
“But—”
“I want Kerrigan because I’m in love with her.”
I whipped around at Pierce’s voice, stunned to see him striding down the hallway with Elias in the cradle of an arm.
His gaze was locked on Dad as he came to stand by my side. “In your shoes, I’d be wary too. But I don’t need your approval because in time, I’ll earn it. Treat me however you like. That said, I’ve seen Kerrigan cry more tears tonight than she should have. So I’ll warn you, Colton, she doesn’t need me to defend her, but I will. Make no mistake about it, if you cause her any more pain, you’ll answer to me.”
I blinked, stunned.
There was a lot to unpack in all of that, and I wasn’t the only one rendered speechless.
“I forgot the diaper bag.” Pierce strode past us for the living room. When he returned, a diaper in hand, he didn’t say a word as he marched down the hallway and into my old bedroom.
“If you don’t marry him, I will.” Larke came up behind Dad. She looped an arm through his and dragged him away.
I stood there and let Pierce’s statement sink in.
He loved me. I’d wondered if he did, or at least, I’d thought he might. But hearing it chased away whatever lingering doubts I’d been silencing for the past day and a half.
Pierce really wasn’t going anywhere.
He was here.
For me.
Spinning on a heel, I rushed down the hallway and slipped into the bedroom. Pierce was just buttoning up Elias’s jammies.
“Hi,” I said, closing the door behind me.
“Hi.” His jaw clenched as the last snap clicked into place. Then he moved some pillows so that in case Elias rolled, he wouldn’t fall off the bed.
“About what you said . . .”
“Not exactly how I’d planned to say that. Especially to your dad. Shit.” He stood and raked a hand over his bearded jaw. “How about you forget I said it?”
“Nope.”
Pierce came over and dropped his forehead to mine. “This is not about Elias.”
“I know,” I breathed.
“You do? Earlier today, when you were talking to your mom, I worried you’d think she was right.”
“Maybe if you had stayed.” I hated that we’d spent time apart. That he’d gone through so much on his own. But what he’d told me the other night had struck a chord.
If he’d been busy falling in love with me, he wouldn’t have given Elias his all.
“You were right to leave,” I told him. “You were right to put Elias first. And I know you’re not here because you’re searching for a mother. I know you’re here for me.”
“Thank fuck.” His sigh of relief filled the room. Then his mouth was on mine, his tongue diving deep. He kissed me breathless as I poured everything I had yet to say into the kiss.
Maybe people would think we were crazy. But like he’d told Dad, we’d show them in the years to come.
We had time.
A noise from Elias broke us apart.
I gazed into Pierce’s sparkling brown eyes and felt these roots take hold, this invisible tie between us. For months, I’d wondered if I’d imagined these feelings for Pierce. If I’d built him up in my head. If our fling had meant more to me than it had him because of my broken engagement.
I wasn’t alone in this. Not in the slightest.
Across the hall, a door opened. It had to be Zach.
“I should go talk to them,” I said. “See if I can do anything.”
; “You go.” Pierce jerked his chin to the door. “I’ll stay here with my boy.”
I smiled at the baby, then went over and dropped a kiss to his smooth cheek before returning to the living room where my family was sitting.
“You can move in here,” Mom told Zach.
He shook his head. “I’m thirty-two. I’m not moving in here. I can find a rental or something. I doubt insurance is going to cover my house if the fire was started by my cigarette. Fucking hell.”
Mom cringed at the language but didn’t correct him.
I went to my purse, bending to retrieve my keys. Then I twisted off a silver one from a ring, bringing it to Zach. “Here.”
“What’s this?”
“A key to the loft above the gym. You can stay there for as long as you need. It’s furnished too.”
He stared at the key but didn’t take it. “You don’t need to rent it out?”
“It’s covered.” Now that I’d paid off my loan with Pierce, the income from the gym was enough to pay the utilities and taxes on the building. Any rent on the loft was simply a bonus.
Zach took the key, turning it around in his fingers. “No, thanks.”
“But . . . why?”
“It’s hard to be around someone who never fails. Everyone would choose you over me in a blink. I don’t need your charity.” He tossed the key in my direction.
I didn’t even try to catch it. It landed on the shag carpet beside my feet. “Excuse me? Just yesterday at the party, you reminded me that I’d gone broke. How is that not a failure?”
“This is not the time to get into an argument.” Mom stood from the couch and shot me a look. It said, Shut up, Kerrigan.
Maybe the problem was that as a family, we showed up. But we shut up.
“I give up.” I threw my hands in the air. “I give up. I’m trying to help Zach, but instead, he tells me it’s hard for him to be around me. I won’t apologize for my success. I won’t apologize for my ambitions. I won’t apologize for going to college when he had the same opportunity and chose to stay in Calamity. I am tired of tiptoeing around my achievements because they make my brother feel insecure.”
I took a step back. It was awful of me to put this all out there tonight. My brother had just lost his home. But as the words bubbled free, there was no pulling them in.
