by Nash, Willa
“I’m sorry about your house,” I told Zach. “You’re welcome to the loft. Take it or leave it, but I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
Without another word, I strode down the hallway and to the bedroom. Pierce was sitting on the end of the bed, his phone in hand.
“Time to go.”
He gave me a sideways glance. “What happened?”
“Nothing good.”
That was all I had to say. He turned, swept Elias into his arms and led the way toward the front door.
Zach was gone when we returned to the living room.
The key to the loft was still on the carpet.
Pierce picked up the car seat. I grabbed the diaper bag. I was determined not to say a word, but as I moved to leave, I paused and shifted to face my parents.
“You never liked Gabriel. Maybe our relationship was odd. I can understand how you’d see it that way. But he believed in me. So does Pierce. He doesn’t tell me not to look at a new house. He doesn’t tease me about my blog. He doesn’t continue to offer me a job I don’t want. He doesn’t wait for me to fail with an I told you so on the tip of his tongue. He’ll watch me jump off a cliff because he believes I’ll fly. And I will. I will fly. But you’re so busy standing at the bottom, waiting to pick up the pieces, that when you finally look up, I’ll have already flown away.”
I left Mom and Dad with guilty faces as I took Pierce’s outstretched hand. It was only when we were in the SUV that I finally breathed.
“Where to?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” My limbs were shaking. I was on the verge of hysterical tears. Had I ever spoken to my parents that way? Maybe as a teenager. At the moment, I couldn’t remember.
Since I’d moved back to Calamity, I’d worried too much about rocking the boat and tipping them over the edge.
But I’d forgotten that they knew how to swim.
“Maybe the motel,” I said. “If I go home, my sister will show up and I just . . . I need some space. From all of them.” I wasn’t mad at Larke but I knew her well enough to know she’d try to calm the waters.
“I’ve got a better idea.” He held my hand as we drove through town to the motel. Then after a quick stop at my place to pack a bag and pick up Clementine and her things, we were on the road.
Two hours later, we walked into the cabin.
It smelled like pine trees and cedar planks.
Pierce had Elias in his arms and a grin on his handsome face. “I missed it here.”
“Me too.”
Maybe it wasn’t mine, but for today, it felt like coming home.
Chapter Twenty
Kerrigan
“This is not going to work.” Pierce glared at the situation on the kitchen island.
Elias was in his bouncer, staring at the mobile’s monkeys hanging from the attached arm. And beside him was Clementine, seemingly content to rest on the smooth granite surface. Except every time Pierce reached for his son, my cat would pop up on all fours, hiss and swat his hand away.
“She’s deemed Elias hers.” I shrugged. “It’s better to just accept it.”
He frowned, reaching in again.
Clementine’s hiss was so loud it filled the kitchen.
“You know, you had her in a couple of your Instagram posts,” he said. “She looks like such a sweet, innocent ball of fluff. Then we picked her up yesterday morning and I realized she’s actually possessed by Satan.”
I laughed and went back to stirring the scrambled eggs. “She has her sweet moments.”
“When?”
I turned the stove off and went to his side, sliding an arm around his waist. “Look at her protecting him. That’s sweet.”
“I’m his father. I’m the protector.”
Standing on my toes, I kissed his bearded jaw.
Beyond the windows, the sun was shining white gold. The snow-capped mountains in the distance stood proud in the clear blue sky. Spring hadn’t quite hit at this high of an elevation, but a hint of green grass was sprouting on the lawn and buds would soon follow on the trees.
It was as gorgeous as it had been this winter. So was the man at my side.
Pierce’s hair was damp from his shower, and he looked insanely handsome in a pair of faded jeans. A long-sleeved, navy T-shirt stretched across his broad chest, and as his hand drifted down my spine to my hip, a heat wave spread over my skin.
Pierce in a suit was devastating but I’d come to love this version of him more. The barefoot, unbuttoned Pierce who’d been touching me constantly but still hadn’t touched me.
I really needed him to touch me.
Except after yesterday’s drama, he’d let me lean on him. I had. But the constant caresses over my shoulders and the brushes of his lips against my temples had lit a fire I was ready to let blaze.
Maybe after breakfast, while Elias was napping.
I went to the counter and swiped up Clementine, earning a hiss of my own as I set her on the floor. Then I kissed Elias’s cheek and went back to making our eggs.
“How’s it going this morning, pal?” Pierce asked as he unbuckled Elias from the bouncer.
Elias answered with a giggle and kick of his legs as Pierce picked him up.
One glance over my shoulder at the two of them and my ovaries exploded.
“Do you like the cabin?” Pierce asked him. “Pretty fun here, isn’t it?”
“When you were in the shower, I had him on a blanket in the living room. He was screeching and yelling as loud as he could because I think he likes the echo. Then he was squirming and kicking. He even tried to roll over.”
Pierce chuckled. “He’s almost got it figured out. Maybe while we’re here, he’ll get it.”
I wasn’t sure how long we’d stay, but at the moment, I was in no rush to go home. In the past forty-eight hours, I’d become so entirely disappointed in my family that I didn’t have the energy to deal with them. Not yet.
“Need some help?” Pierce asked, coming over to inspect my scrambled eggs, sausage, peppers, onions and cheese.
“No, I’ve got it.”
I’d forgotten just how nice it was to have a fridge stocked for us.
On our way up yesterday, Pierce had called Nellie to tell her we were headed to the cabin. It had been barely after sunrise as we’d pulled out of Calamity, but in the two hours it had taken us to get here, the club had cleaned the entire house and filled the refrigerator and pantry.
The man who’d met us here had said not everything was available immediately but then just yesterday afternoon, he’d returned with more supplies that would last for the rest of our stay. We’d told him a week, but if it was longer than that, I wouldn’t complain.
The Refinery was covered. When I’d called each of my employees yesterday, every one of them had jumped at the chance for more hours. I had my laptop in case I needed to do any other work, but for the moment, I simply wanted some time alone with Pierce and Elias.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as we sat down to eat at the island. Elias was back in the bouncer with his lioness Clementine by his side.
“Raw. But I’m glad to be here.”
“So am I.”
“Thanks for bringing me here.” I’d told him that three times since we’d arrived yesterday.
His eyes softened, crinkling at the sides. “This is your place now too.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” I muttered, filling my mouth with a huge bite.
“There’s a lot to talk about.”
Yes, there was. Like the fact that Pierce had told my father he was in love with me. The fact that he hadn’t mentioned it again. The fact that I hadn’t either.
“But not today,” Pierce said. “Today, we’re just going to chill. Tonight, we’ll talk.”
“We chilled all day yesterday.”
“One more day.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
Since we’d arrived yesterday, we’d mostly busied ourselves with settling in. Our bags had
been unpacked in the master bedroom. Drawers filled. Clothes hung in the closet. Pierce had known that he’d be coming here and the guest room closest to the master had been turned into a nursery.
“Have you been here since December?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No. When I left Denver, I went straight to Calamity.”
Straight to me.
“Are you okay staying in the master?” I should have asked him last night, but when he’d steered me to bed, I’d been so exhausted that I’d crashed not ten seconds after hitting the pillow.
“It’s the biggest room.”
“We could stay in the guest suite.”
“No, it’s okay. Besides . . .” He grinned. “I bought new beds. For the entire house.”
I laughed and now it made sense why the bedding was all different. “So the beds. The nursery. Everything else looks the same unless I’m missing something.”
“That’s all for now. In time, I’m sure we’ll add stuff. Our own pictures. Clothes we want to leave here. Skis for the winter. Hiking gear for the summer. Different furniture if you want to redecorate.”
The fork nearly fell out of my hand. He was talking like this was ours. Together. That this monstrosity of a mountain lodge was as much mine as his.
“What?” he asked, his own fork freezing midair as he took in my face.
“Maybe we need to have that talk right now.”
He chuckled and took a bite. “Today is for relaxing.”
“And this conversation won’t be relaxing?”
Pierce set down his fork and swiveled in his seat to lean in close. “After this conversation, I’m going to want to reinforce my words by tearing off your clothes and making good use of the new beds. Plural. It’s not going to be fast. It’s not something I’m willing to squeeze in during Elias’s nap time.”
“Oh.” My cheeks flamed and a throb settled between my legs. I pulled in my lips to hide a smile.
“Today, we relax. Tonight, we’ll talk.”
As long as talk meant stripping him out of those jeans, I was ready. Four months without sex had never been an issue before Pierce.
There was a lot I’d gone without before Pierce.
Elias turned out to be the perfect entertainment to pass the day. We played on the living room floor after breakfast. Pierce had to spend some time working while I fed Elias his midmorning bottle. Then we returned to the kitchen, where I decided to take advantage of the high-end appliances and make grilled paninis for lunch.
During Elias’s afternoon nap, I wandered around the house, taking some photos for Instagram. I posted a video of me standing on the property’s edge, the mountains at my back and the breeze in my hair.
It all served as a distraction to the conversation coming.
My nerves started to get the best of me as we gave Elias his bath.
Clementine was locked in her bedroom—the laundry room—because we didn’t want her sneaking into Elias’s room at night and climbing into his crib.
I knew what the discussion would entail. Well, sort of. I had a vague idea. Pierce had been very forthcoming about his feelings—to me and Dad. But I hadn’t ever said those three words to any man besides my ex.
The fear of saying them again wasn’t one I’d had to deal with.
I hadn’t loved anyone since him. And if I was being honest with myself, I hadn’t really loved him either.
“You okay?” Pierce asked as I put Elias in his pajamas on the changing table.
I’d never bathed a baby before. I’d never put a kid in pajamas. Maybe Pierce realized that I’d needed the tasks to keep my mind occupied because he let me take the lead, offering suggestions along the way.
“I’m good.” I kept my attention on the baby, like I had all evening. Even through dinner. “Can I rock him to sleep?”
“Of course.” He bent to kiss his son’s cheek, then he did the same to mine before slipping out of the nursery.
“Okay, little one.” I picked Elias up and carried him to the glider in the corner, settling in with the bottle Pierce had prepared earlier. Then we rocked, me and this sweet boy who was stealing my heart.
“I’m in love with you too, you know,” I confessed. “You are precious, my darling.”
Elias was the happiest baby I’d seen in my life. He drank his bottle in silence, his big brown eyes never looking away from my face.
It wasn’t hard to tell him that I loved him. Not in the slightest.
“I was thinking about what my mom said. Not all of it was kind, but she was partially right. You need a mother, not just a nanny. I don’t know if I’m equipped for it. I don’t know if your real mother would have chosen me, or even liked me for that matter.”
I blew out a deep breath, resting my head on the back of the chair. “Today when we were playing and I was taking those videos of you squawking at the ceiling, I thought about someone else being there with you. Someone else with the camera, listening to you. Watching you roll over. I got so jealous I could barely see straight.”
This all-consuming envy had washed over me so fast that it had taken me aback. “The only other time I’ve ever felt that level of insane jealousy was over your dad. He was in Denver, taking care of you, not that I knew that. But every now and then, I’d picture him with another woman, and I’d get so jealous that it would ruin my entire day.”
Elias grunted and when I looked down, the bottle was empty.
“Done already?” I shifted and put him against my shoulder to pat his back.
Three pats and the belch that came from his tiny body was loud enough to rival a grown man’s.
“Whoa.” I laughed. “Nice one, bud.”
I rubbed his back, continuing to rock him until his body went limp and he was out. Time to talk. It would be fine, right?
Right.
And I’d likely get an orgasm or two afterward. I just had to tell Pierce how I felt. Three little words.
My heart raced as I put Elias in his crib, careful not to wake him, then snuck out of the room.
The door to the master was open. I sucked in a fortifying breath, then padded down the hallway to find Pierce on the bed.
His legs were crossed at his ankles. His back was to the headboard. And on his lap was the baby monitor.
From the serious look on his face, he’d heard that whole one-sided confession I’d given his son.
My stomach dropped. “Uh, you heard all of that, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“And?”
He set the monitor on the nightstand, then stood from the bed and crossed the room. “And it changes our conversation some.”
“It does?” Oh, God. I’d gone too far admitting that I’d happily step in as Elias’s mother. Heidi was his mother, not me. What the hell was I thinking?
“It does.” Pierce lifted a hand to my face, cupping my cheek. Then his mouth was on mine and the fears racing through my mind took a backseat to the sweep of his tongue and the taste of his lips.
I melted into him, sinking into the kiss I’d been craving from the moment he’d returned to Calamity. Because though he’d kissed me, this one was going somewhere. This was the kiss I’d been craving for months.
My hands skimmed up and under his shirt, roaming across his hard chest. I dragged my nails against his taut skin, savoring the strength of his body beneath my palms. When my fingers tangled in the dusting of hair on his chest, he let go of my face and his hands dove into my hair.
Then he tilted my face, holding my head at a slant so he could plunder my mouth.
I moaned and stood on my toes, wanting more and more. But Pierce broke away, still holding me in place as he leaned back to study my face.
“God, I love your mouth. You are beautiful, Kerr.” There was so much emotion shining through his eyes that it stole my breath. “I missed you. Fuck, but I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“Never again. No more time apart. For the rest of our lives, where we go, we g
o together.”
My heart skipped. I thought there’d be more words, but then he kissed me again and there was no indication he’d ever stop.
This man delivered so much pleasure with his lips and tongue, I was shaking when he tore his mouth away to drag my sweatshirt up and over my head. He sent it sailing to the floor along with my bra. Then he shuffled me to the bed, laying me down and pulling off my jeans and panties. Whoosh. I was completely bare.
Pierce, fully clothed, stepped back and drank me in.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he raked his gaze over my naked skin. Then as quickly as he’d divested me of my clothes, his joined mine on the carpet.
When his hard cock bobbed free, I gulped, having forgotten just how big he was. I let my own eyes wander, traveling up his washboard abs and down those sculpted arms. But when I took in his face, he looked . . . well, miserable.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He gritted his teeth. “I haven’t been with anyone since you. But . . . do I need a condom?”
“No.” I sat up on my elbows. “There’s been no one else.”
“Oh, thank fuck.” He dove for me, taking us both deeper into the bed. One hand trailed down my ribs as the other wrapped around my neck.
He shifted so one side of his body had mine pinned to the bed. And that hand—that damn hand—drove me wild. It glided over my skin, torturing me as it moved in a lazy trail over my stomach. Then up again to the swell of my breasts.
“Pierce,” I warned. “Save the foreplay for round two.”
He ignored me, bringing those fingertips higher. Around the top, then under the areola. He circled my nipple, never touching the hard bud, but the tingles beneath his touch spread straight to my core.
I arched into him.
“Are you wet for me?” he asked, grazing my nipple before dropping his hand to my ribs. His fingers stayed in a constant state of motion.
“Find out for yourself.” I spread my legs wider.
He grinned but did he move lower? No. The bastard brought his hand to my face, tracing the line of my nose, my cheek, my mouth.
Touch after touch, he played with my skin like it was his own personal instrument. It was by far the most erotic foreplay of my life. To be only touched by a man. To have him worship me. To have him memorize every line, every crease, every curve.
