#1 Muse

by T Gephart

  “See, that is where you are so wrong.” He shook his head. “And exactly what I wanted to avoid. I do not want you to feel like that.”

  I grabbed his hands, squeezing them in mine. “It’s not your fault. Trust me, I’m happy just being with you. I don’t need to announce it to the world.”

  My life was fantastic, and I didn’t feel lacking. Nor did I feel like I was hidden away. If anything, I felt like I was the one using him, commandeering so much of his time when he could have been out and being seen. Not to mention how much happier I was when I was around him, my life had never been as great. And while he wasn’t the only reason, he was a large contributing factor.

  He took a deep breath, running his hands through his hair. “I need to tell you something about the night we met.”

  “O-kay,” I answered hesitantly, not sure what else there was left to say.

  “I was drunk, really drunk. I’d done so many shots at the bar, I’d lost count.” He laughed, probably remembering that he could barely stand when I found him. “I’d spent the last six months filming and I was exhausted. I’d come home every night, tired, to an empty house. Or if I did bring a girl home, it was an empty fuck.”

  His words stung even though they didn’t mean to. I knew he’d been with other women, and he had owed me zero explanation. I had a past too and we couldn’t be held responsible for what we did before we were together.

  My hand reached out to touch him, needing him to know that whatever he’d done didn’t matter. “Nick, I never judged your lifestyle.”

  “Well, then you’d be the only one.” He laughed, his voice devoid of humor. “Everything I do is talked about. What I wear, what I drive, who I sleep with. And you know, I really didn’t care. I was too tired or too busy to notice. I mean, I didn’t want to be a prick, but if I had to be surrounded by people I really didn’t care about then why not just get hammered? And during the hiatus I’d do whatever the hell I wanted to. No one cared anyway, right? I mean fuck it, these assholes don’t pay my bills, why do they get a say in my life? But as I sat at that bar with my friend, I realized it was all so empty.”

  His beautiful brown eyes fixed on me as he took another breath. “That was the first real conversation I’d had with someone other than my family in so long, I’d forgotten how much I missed it. No women, no interviews, no assholes trying to get their pound of flesh—just two dudes at a bar—drinking, laughing—and I felt more free and happier than I had in months. And then I came home and you were there.”

  “I don’t understand.” My eyes squinted, wondering how I fit in. “I mean, I had no idea you were dealing with all of that. And trust me, I was just as bad as all those other assholes, believing you were living a charmed life.”

  “No, you weren’t and aren’t like those assholes. You are amazing.” He took my hands and kissed my knuckles. “And my life is good, trust me, I know it sounds like I’m complaining but that isn’t what I mean to say.”

  As much as I liked the idea of being on a pedestal, I sure as hell didn’t deserve to be on one. He’d been my fantasy, conjured for inspiration; I wasn’t the angel he thought I was. “Nick, I—”

  “How many women would have spent the night at my house and wouldn’t have taken photos? Or stolen some shit to keep as a souvenir? Or posted on their social media they were with me?”

  I didn’t answer, the thought of doing any of those things hadn’t even crossed my mind. Granted I had other sins to repent for that night, but taking advantage of him while he was vulnerable wasn’t one of them.

  He looked at me and continued. “Of the women I’ve dated in the last few years, all have been transactions. One way or another. But you’re different. I don’t want to just sleep with you, Claire. I want to be with you.”

  My body shivered and not only because I was in my underwear, his words making a lump form in my throat. “I want that too.”

  “Well good.” He smiled, looking pretty pleased with himself. “So, why don’t you get dressed, and come with me to my brother’s house.”

  “Nick, I would really love to.” Who wouldn’t want to go meet the family of a man who’d just said the nicest things ever. “But I promised Scully we’d hang out and I don’t want to be that person who dumps her friends when she’s with a guy.” Not to mention how emotional she’d been. I mean, I’d pretended to pee my pants for God’s sake so she didn’t have a breakdown. I didn’t want to turn around and be responsible for the next one.

  “You can go,” I heard through the door. “Luke’s already gone to the store to buy me cookies, so you’ve been replaced, sorry.”

  I shook my head, getting off the bed and yanking on a bathrobe before opening the door. There she was, unapologetically standing on the other side, not even trying to hide she’d been eavesdropping on our private conversation. “You were listening?”

  “Don’t be mad at me, I’m pregnant.” She tried not to smile. “And I was only concerned, making sure if you needed someone to verify that it wasn’t real pee, that I was available.”

  “Really? You were concerned? It wasn’t that you have a problem keeping out of my business?” I put my hand on my hip trying to sound angry when really all I wanted was to laugh.

  “Remember you love me,” she squeaked, pulling a face.

  “You sure you don’t mind if I steal her?” Nick came up behind me, circling his arm around my waist.

  Scully waved her hand, “Pfft, take her. Besides, it will give me time to find out what you and Luke were gossiping about.”

  “Yeah, what were you talking about?” I turned in Nick’s arms to face him.

  He laughed, tilting his head to Scully. “You know she’s only trying to distract you.”

  “Or you are?” I pushed lightly against his chest.

  “I’ll tell you all about what we spoke about in the car.” He kissed my lips. “Let’s go meet my brother.”

  IT WAS THE QUICKEST I’D ever gotten ready for a date in history. Then again, my date wasn’t usually sitting on my bed while I got dressed.

  Nick watched with interest as I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and top, his hands reaching out and touching me which slowed down the process. My hair was a lost cause, with no time to wash and blow it out, I threw it into a ponytail, put on some makeup and called it a day. It was not my best work, but I was too worried about meeting Eric for the first time to worry about what I looked like.

  Not only was it our first official date, but the first time I’d been in Nick’s car, a silver Mercedes coupe. It was sooooo much nicer than my regular looking Toyota, the leather seats cushioning my body as we drove to Eric’s house in the hills.

  We chatted in the car, me telling him about the disastrous baby class and my subsequent distraction when we needed to make a hasty exit. Nick laughed, impressed at my commitment to the cause, telling me he’d come to visit Luke hoping he’d get to see me before he had to go to his brother’s. Apparently getting me to come with him had been the plan all along, his visit not so much impromptu and more calculated than first thought. He’d even told Luke, recruiting him to help if the need should arise. But in the end, I hadn’t needed much convincing, just knowing Nick wanted me to be with him, reason enough to go.

  “What did you tell them about me?” I asked, waiting for the front door to open. I wasn’t sure if Eric was the kind of person who did it himself, or outsourced that kind of work to a butler.

  “I told them the truth, that you followed me home one night and I wanted to keep you.” He smirked, giving my hand a squeeze.

  I turned, punching him in the shoulder. “I really hope you’re kidding.”

  “Hey!” The door swung open, a very attractive and pregnant brunette standing on the other side. “You made it, come in.”

  “Thank you.” I stepped inside, clutching Nick’s hand tightly.

  Tia Larsson was a woman that needed no introduction. As the wife of Nick’s eldest brother Eric, and a successful columnist, she was a fixture on Holl
ywood guest lists. It wasn’t a surprise we’d never met; all those lists she was on, I wasn’t, but I had looked forward to the pleasure.

  “Little brother.” Eric stepped out into the hall, ruffling Nick’s hair. “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.”

  “That’s my fault, I was at birthing classes and needed to change.”

  Tia and Eric both stopped, their eyes widening as they looked at me and dropped their gaze to my flat stomach.

  Awesome, because it wasn’t awkward enough meeting his famous family for the first time, I had to make it sound like I was knocked up.

  “I’m not pregnant, my roommate is,” I added quickly, Nick’s grin doing absolutely nothing to help the situation. “Hi, sorry, I’m Claire.” I stuck out my hand, hoping someone would shake it back.

  “I’d have left them on the hook longer,” Nick mock whispered, Eric accepting my handshake as he elbowed his brother.

  “Pleased to meet you, Claire, I’m Eric. I’m not sure what you see in him but we’re grateful for the charity.” He gave me a blinding smile.

  “They’re both as bad as each other. You should see when the rest of them are around.” Tia squeezed in, taking her turn at introductions. “I’m Tia, and I married into this crazy.”

  Eric and Nick both laughed, slapping each other on the back like what Tia said was the most hysterical thing ever.

  “Sweetheart,” Eric purred. “There’s a drawer in the bathroom vanity with about a thousand red lipsticks that would argue you were crazy before you got here.”

  “It’s not a thousand.” Tia rolled her eyes before turning back to me. “And all of them were necessary.”

  “I accidently bought twelve eyeliners once.” I shrugged, my habit of late night online shopping responsible for a few questionable credit card statements. “My finger hit both the numbers when I was checking out, and I didn’t notice until the charge went through. I had one for each month, turned out to be a pretty good year.”

  Tia opened up her arms, smiling brightly. “Welcome home, Claire. You’ve found your people.” She engulfed me in a warm hug, her swollen belly taking up most of the space.

  “Tia, you can’t have her.” Nick tugged at my arm, pulling me against him. “I found her first.”

  “Awww baby,” I cooed as I patted his cheek. “You’ll always be my number one, but you have to learn to share.”

  Nick kissed my neck, grinning against my skin. “She said she likes me best.”

  Tia and Eric lead us to the backyard where they had a stunning outside area. We ate snacks and drank wine—Tia sipping the fruit concoction like Nick had made Scully—as we chatted in the warm night air.

  Eric and Tia were both wonderful, making me feel welcome as they asked me about my work. They seemed genuinely interested, Eric asking questions about the screenplays I’d written and the studios I’d worked with.

  Naturally Nick mentioned the one I’d “written” for him, dissecting the plot and breaking it down for his brother and sister-in-law.

  “Sounds great, are you writing full time?” Tia asked, refilling my wineglass. It was my third, and it was definitely making the conversation easier.

  I thanked her, taking a sip of the crisp Chablis before continuing. “I’m working on something new. Edgier, but I’m really enjoying the process.”

  Nick rested his hand on my knee beaming with pride. “She won’t let me read it yet, but I’m sure it’s going to be amazing.”

  “You’re only saying that because I’m your girlfriend,” I giggled. “And this time around, you aren’t getting a look until it’s done.”

  He shook his head, smiling smugly. “Or I can just get Scully to get it for me. You should know by now I always get what I want.”

  “How far along is your roommate?” Tia asked, her hand rubbing her belly.

  “Almost eight months, how about you?”

  “Twenty-six weeks.” She looked over at Eric. “We’re really excited.”

  Even if she hadn’t mentioned it, one look at both of them and you could tell. I was sure they were going to be great parents, while Nick was obviously destined to be the cool uncle. The kind that bought the kid a drum kit when they were eight, and then beer when they were eighteen.

  I took another sip of wine. “I’m excited too. For Scully. I mean, of course it’s her baby, but it feels like all of ours too.”

  And I was definitely the cool aunt. Maybe Nick and I could go drum kit shopping together, that would be fun. I bet he’d make a great dad too.

  Whoa, where the hell did THAT come from?

  I didn’t know if he wanted kids.

  Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted kids.

  Maybe all those pregnancy hormones in the birthing class had gotten to me, no wonder Scully was so desperate to get out of there.

  Warmth spread across my skin either from the wine or the thought of having Nick’s baby, but it was definitely time to go.

  “We should probably head home.” I rested my glass on the table, sliding my hand into Nick’s. “I’m sure Tia must be exhausted.”

  He nodded, rising to his feet as I stood. “Of course, and I don’t think Tia is the only one who’s exhausted.” He caught me trying to suppress a yawn.

  “Sorry, long day.” I laughed, feeling a little light headed.

  Tia and Eric walked us out, and we said our goodbyes. They asked us to come back and their invitation sounded so sincere, I accepted without even asking Nick. I liked his family, and I was relieved that they seemed to like me too.

  My head lolled to the side as Nick started the engine, smiling at him as we drove down Eric’s driveway. “You are so getting laid tonight.”

  “Why do you think I’m taking us to my place?” He winked, turning onto the main road. “I want you to be as loud and unrestrained as you want.”

  My hand dropped into his lap, brushing against the front of his pants and found him already hard.

  “You should drive faster.”

  We’d barely made it inside the door when I clawed at his pants. I blamed the Chablis, my body hot as I alternated between stripping him and myself as I giggled against his chest.

  “You want to go to the bedroom?” he asked, trying to control my octopus arms as I managed to free him of his pants. “Or not.” His eyes widened as I thrust his cock into my mouth.

  I groaned, feeling it hit the back of my throat as I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked him hard. His fingers gripped my hair and pulled tight as my hand joined in the rhythm, sliding up and down as I picked up speed.

  “Fuck, Claire,” he gritted out, his jaw tense as the muscles in his abdomen locked.

  I nodded, doing my best to indicate that I indeed wanted to be fucked but was unable to say the words. My mouth was busy, and I wasn’t in the mood to stop.

  His eyelids lowered, watching me on my knees in front of him, and I saw his total submission. If I’d asked, he’d have given me the deed to his house, my fist around his hard length tightening as the surge of power made me feel invincible.

  “You’re killing me.” He closed his eyes, his gorgeously toned chest rising and falling with each deep breath. “Beautiful, you’re going to make me come.”

  I didn’t stop.

  Moving my mouth and hand harder and faster, I watched him fight to maintain control. Every single muscle in his body tensed, the need vibrating through him like a tuning fork.

  “Jesus, Claire,” he bit out with a curse, his eyelids sliding open as he locked his gaze with mine, his hot load spilling down my throat.

  I took everything he had, watching as his body shook until he pulled his cock from my mouth with a pop.

  “Were you thinking about it all night? Or just on the drive home?” He sunk to his knees in front of me, his hand slipping between my legs.

  “Since I came home and we made out in my room,” I moaned, feeling his fingers slick as they slid inside of me.

  I’d wanted him then, wanted him to take me on my bed before w
e’d left my house and the anticipation had only made it worse. By the time we’d made it through the night, my body felt like it was going to explode, needing to be touched by him.

  “I thought about this,” his thumb circled my clit as he brought his mouth to my breast. “Thought of how much I wanted to taste you.” His tongue swirled around my stiff peak, gently closing his teeth around and pulling.

  “Oh.” It was my turn to close my eyes, losing myself to the sensations as my body relaxed.

  “Lay down for me,” he whispered, guiding me back as his mouth kept busy. His lips moved to my other breast, sucking and teasing while he fucked me with his fingers.

  The carpet gave way underneath me, tickling my body as I opened for him, his tongue swirling its way down my stomach.

  “Nick.” My back arched as his mouth made contact with my hot center, his tongue giving me a languid lick while his fingers didn’t stop.

  It didn’t matter that it was on the floor, in his living room. The way he was worshiping me with his mouth and hands made me feel like I was lying on a bed of the finest silk sheets, surrounded by a million pillows.

  My hands threaded through his hair, grinding my hips as he brought me closer. “Yes, baby. Oh, that feels so good.”

  I was so close, teetering on the edge as he continued mercilessly with his mouth, pushing in his fingers as I exploded on this hand. My body trembled, waves of pleasure echoing through me as I panted on the floor.

  “Don’t move,” he growled against my thigh, reaching down to his pants and pulling out a condom.

  He tore open the pack, sheathing himself in latex before pushing into me in one hard thrust. My body opened for him, slick and ready, as he drew back and then pushed back.

  My hands slid up his chest as he settled between my thighs, his hard cock driving into me as he lifted my leg for leverage. “I loved being in your mouth, but feeling you tight around my cock was where I wanted to be.”