Fallen (The Frenemy Series Book 3)

by Kate Benson

  “Yeah,” she manages before the swallowed sob slips from her chest and her palm flies up, covering her mouth. “I’m t-totally f-fine.”

  “Shhh… it’s gonna be okay,” I promise, not sure if the words hold any truth as I pull her close again, biting my lip to hide my own anxiety as she cries hard again once more. Fuck… what the hell am I gonna do? “Just breathe, pussycat.”

  “I’m trying,” she says through another muffled sob, gripping my shirt. “I really am. I’m just … I’m really scared, Dash.”

  “I know, baby,” I whisper against her temple.

  Trust me. I know.

  She does all she can to compose herself and thanks me when I wipe her cheeks clean once more. A few beats pass and she releases a long, low breath, clearing her throat before she faces me.

  I need to say something. Hell, I should say something, but right now, all the words I’ve got are stuck in my chest, seizing with the same panic coursing through hers. I clear my throat, check her seatbelt before I stand and push the door shut before slowly making my way around the back of the car. My vision is hazy and everything around me feels artificial as Mason’s voice breaks into my anxious thoughts.

  “I hope you don’t think we’re done here,” he says, his voice lower, yet still holding the same edge.

  “Yeah, we are, Mase,” I tell him as I force my feet to the driver’s side of my car. I swallow hard, giving myself the gut check of my life before I meet his eyes, finding them softer than they’d been a minute ago. “Right now, we are.”

  Four

  evie

  The ride to the drugstore is silent save for the low hum of the radio and my racing thoughts.

  I can’t be pregnant.

  I’m so not ready to be pregnant.

  I guess I always assumed I’d have a child at some point, I just never thought it would be this soon.

  I certainly never imagined Dash Hunter would be the father.

  I risk a glance in his direction, nervous at the unusual silence coming from his side of the car and find him staring out into the night, deep in thought.

  He’s freaking out.

  So am I, but the difference between he and I is that I don’t have the option of running away.

  Up until recently, that’s all Dash has ever done.

  That thought slips inside my mind and as bad as I don’t want it, it immediately nestles in deep.

  I glance back at him once more, taking in the lines of his face, the way he moves the pad of his thumb over his temple for a moment before he releases a deep, staggered breath.

  If this test says what I think it will, he’s going to absolutely lose it.

  He might freak out worse than I just did.

  He might even leave.

  No way. I shake my head immediately, abolishing the thought at once. There’s no way he’d ever do that to his child.

  My breathing calms for a moment and I settle in a little easier, my thoughts roaming to him, to us, before I turn my eyes to the window.

  He wouldn’t do that to his kid, but he might do it to you.

  “Dammit,” I whisper, hating the break in my voice.

  “What?” he asks, his eyes moving to mine.

  I shake my head. “Nothing.”

  The car coming to a stop in the dimly lit parking lot is just enough to pull my thoughts elsewhere. He’s barely had time to turn off the ignition before I’m pushing the passenger door open and stepping out of his Mustang toward the unassuming Walgreens.

  I make a beeline toward the aisle I’ve avoided my entire adult life and with little thought, reach for the daunting box that holds our fate. I vaguely hear his footsteps moving away from me, turning back toward the registers. I’m about to follow him, but the thought of waiting until we get back to his apartment has me moving toward the back of the store instead.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Where do you think?” I ask, searching for the small sign that will lead me to the restroom.

  “Baby,” he starts, louder this time as he grips my elbow and turns me to face him. “Evie, wait a second.”

  “What?”

  “Do you seriously want to do this here?” he asks low, his penetrating gaze holding mine as he stares down at me. “What are you gonna do if it says…” he trails off, my chest seizing in fear as I watch him swallow hard, unable to say it. “Is this really the place you want to find something like that out?”

  “I can’t wait anymore,” I whisper, so low I almost hide the break. Almost. “If it does say…” I swallow hard myself, glancing down at the pink box. “If it says what I think it’s going to say, the where won’t matter, Dash, but the when already does,” I reason. “You’re always telling me to let go, right?” I ask before I glance back up to find him staring down at me, the words pulling a shaky nod from him. “Okay, so that’s what I’m doing,” I continue, biting my lip as I shift nervously to my other foot. “If I wait any longer, I’m gonna lose my nerve and that…” I trail off. “That’s not an option here. I just have to do it now and get it over with. That might not make any sense, but…”

  “I understand,” he says low as he brushes a loose strand of hair away from my cheek and glances over my shoulder toward the bathroom door. “Do you, um… do you want me to come with you?”

  “You’re not watching me pee, Dash. Even I’m not there yet,” I say bluntly, turning away from him abruptly. As I reach the bathroom door, I risk a final glance over my shoulder to find his green eyes holding mine as I reach for the handle. “Gimme ten minutes.”

  dash

  She slips inside and once I know she won’t see it, I let out a long, low groan.

  Fuck, she might be pregnant.

  She might be pregnant and we’re about to find out in the middle of a fucking Walgreens next to the lube display.

  I take a few steps away from the aisle, closer to the unassuming door I’d watched her slip into a minute ago and lean against the wall, my mind reeling.

  I’d be lying if I said I’m not freaking the hell out, too.

  I’m terrified.

  I love Evie like I’ve never loved anyone else in my life, but I’m not ready for a kid. Not by a fucking longshot. I was built for a lot of things, but I’m not sure being someone’s father is one of them.

  Not yet anyway.

  Fuck.

  “Well, I hope you’re happy,” I hear from my left and another groan leaves my chest of its own accord.

  “Dude, what the fuck?” I shake my head, glancing over at him. “You followed us here?”

  “You’re damned right I followed you here,” he insists, his voice low as he takes a step toward me. “You think I didn’t see your slick ass trying to-?”

  “Mason, I need you to back off,” I say, my voice slightly thick as I take a step away from both him and the door, palms raking over my face. “Just give me a second.”

  What the fuck am I going to do?

  “Dash…” he starts, his footsteps coming behind me doing little to help the nerves swarming my chest. “What -?”

  “Not right now,” I cut him off, shaking my head before I glance up at the ceiling, hating the break in my voice. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. “Please just give me a fuckin’ minute,” I say again. “Go outside or something. I don’t even know why you’re here.”

  “Because one of you might need me to be,” he admits, his blunt words softer than I thought they’d be.

  “Yeah?” I ask sarcastically. “What happened to kicking my ass? You lose your nerve?”

  “No, I still kind of want to do that,” he admits, glancing over at the door. “If she comes out and everything’s fine, I’ll probably jump your sorry ass in the parking lot,” he shrugs, pushing his chest out though his tone says he’s full of shit. “But I’ve been a pretty shitty brother lately and an even shittier friend,” he offers, meeting my eyes. “I just thought maybe I’d try something a little different,” he clears his throat. “You know… mix it up.”

  Des
pite my annoyance with him, I can’t help but smirk at his words. Silence falls between us and I glance down at my phone, the twelve minutes that have come and gone since she stepped inside making me pull in a deep breath.

  “How long has she been in there?”

  “Long enough,” I admit, slipping my phone back into my pocket. “You wanna get lost?”

  “Sure,” he says, giving me a brotherly pat on the shoulder. “I’m outside if you need me.”

  I say nothing, giving him a nod before I watch him turn away from me. Once another low breath slips from my chest, I reach for the handle on the door.

  And then I let go, too.

  Five

  dash

  The creak of the door and the sound of my footsteps does little to soothe the low whimper coming from the other side of the stall.

  If I’m being honest, the second she told me she was late, I knew.

  I think we both did.

  I’ve been shitting myself for the last hour, certain the second she confirmed what we both already knew I’d slip into a panic or even worse, have the urge to run.

  Before Evie, I was always pretty good at that.

  When I step inside and hear her gentle sobs, though, I realize none of that shit matters.

  It doesn’t matter that I used to be that guy.

  It doesn’t matter that I’m terrified.

  It doesn’t matter that we aren’t ready.

  The only thing that really matters to me is crying her eyes out inside this bathroom stall.

  “Evie?” I manage, my voice hoarse with emotion as I come to a stop outside the locked stall. “Baby, let me in.”

  “No,” she wails. “I don’t want to.”

  “Come on, princess,” I rest my forehead against the door, willing myself to keep my voice even. “Just hit the lock.”

  “No,” she says once more.

  “Why not?”

  “Because if I open the door, it makes it real,” she sobs, louder this time. “I’m not ready for it to be real yet.”

  “It’s real whether you stay locked in there all night or not, pussycat,” I sigh. “The only difference is I can’t do much out here.”

  “I think you’ve done more than enough,” she blurts accusingly, making me release an unexpected chuckle that only makes her cry harder. “This isn’t funny, Dash,” she snips, finally yanking the door open to glare up at me from her place on the floor, her face contorting in a combination between panic and annoyance before it softens once more. “What the fuck are we going to do?”

  I crouch down beside her on the cold tile, my heart racing in my chest as I reach for her.

  “Come here,” I whisper, winding my arms around her shoulders as she settles into my lap. “We’ll figure it out, Evie. It’s gonna be alright.”

  “No, it isn’t,” she argues. “I’ve literally been done with school for three hours, Dash,” she wails into my chest. Three. Hours!”

  “I know…” I start, my words trailing off when she begins to pull away.

  “It took you this long to give me a key to your apartment,” she cuts me off. “There’s no way in hell we’re ready for a kid.”

  “Baby, I know,” I say once more.

  “So, what the fuck are we supposed to do?” she demands, lifting the test into her hand once more between us, her eyes widening. I say nothing, sure she’s about to say more until she releases another long, exasperated sigh. “Babe!”

  “Jesus!” I jump, my movements stilling for a moment. “I hear you!”

  “Then say something! Freak out with me!” she demands with a gentle smack to my chest, her lip beginning to quiver. “What the hell are we going to do?”

  I rub my hands over my eyes, trying my best to center my thoughts for a second as I release a deep breath.

  She’s right.

  Kids, a family, a future together … we’ve never thought about any of this, much less discussed it. Up until Evie, I’ve never even considered being with anyone, let alone procreating. We know almost everything about each other, but this?

  This is completely uncharted territory.

  “Okay,” I start as I blow out a deep breath and rest my hands on her thighs and face her. “Do you think you want to keep it?”

  “How am I supposed to make that kind of decision right now, Dash? I’ve known for two seconds,” she insists. “And why is it my decision anyway?”

  “Because it just is, baby,” I sigh. “And I know this seems like a lot, but I don’t think this is something you’ve got to think about. If you’re really honest, you knew before you ever came in here,” I continue, the gentle shift in her eyes telling me I’m right. For once. “You just gotta say it out loud, Evie.”

  I wait as patiently as I can, watching her bite the inside of her cheek for a moment in thought before her eyes begin to tear up, her chest shaky with nerves.

  “We aren’t ready,” she finally whispers, her words broken, resigned. “I don’t have a job, or a car, and we…” she trails off, sinking into herself further before she swipes quickly at her cheek and clears her throat, returning her eyes to mine. “Neither of us are qualified for this at all, Dash.”

  “I know,” I reply quietly, the pads of my thumbs gently sweeping over her legs as I hold her gaze. “But that’s not what I asked you, princess,” I remind her. “Do you want this?”

  Her eyes stay locked on mine silently, though it’s obvious her thoughts are anything but quiet. She moves through a range of emotions until finally, her blue eyes grow brighter, brimming with tears as she gives me a quick, decisive nod.

  “I know it’s stupid, but…” she chokes slightly.

  “It’s not stupid,” I disagree.

  “We aren’t ready,” she corrects herself, running her thumbs across her cheeks before she absentmindedly rests one palm over her stomach. “But Dash, I could never…” she trails off once more, a silent sob catching in her throat that threatens to break me. “I keep thinking of all the shit going on in our lives right now and what I don’t have, and-”

  “But you’ve got me,” I cut her off, reaching for her and pulling her close to my chest. “Shh,” I whisper into her hair, savoring in the way she clings even tighter. “We might need to figure some shit out, but you’ve got me, okay?”

  “Do I?” she asks bluntly. “Are you sure you’re not going to freak out on me and bolt?”

  “Baby,” I shake my head immediately, the pang in my chest undeniable, but with our history, not completely unfounded. “Evie, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  As I meet her eyes, it’s impossible to miss the uncertainty hiding in them. I hate that I’ve been the kind of guy she’d even have to ask. The truth is, though, up until a few months ago, that’s exactly who I was and we both know it.

  “Say you swear, Dash,” she demands through her impending hysteria, gripping my wrists as I rest my palms on her neck. “You have to swear it right now or I’ll-”

  “I swear to God,” I cut her off this time, my voice low, but full of conviction. “Baby, I grew up being that kid. I watched my mom go through hell her whole life because my dad was too much of a chicken shit to stick around, okay?” I whisper, holding her teary gaze as I swallow hard. “That’s not ever gonna be your life. I won’t ever put you through that.” I use the bottom of my shirt to gently swipe her cheeks clean, her fearful blue gaze staring back at me. “You believe me, don’t you?”

  She nods fervently as she takes a deep breath, trying her best to compose herself before the tears come back full force.

  “Oh, my God,” she wails. “I’m gonna get fat!”

  “Come here,” I whisper, pulling her further into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist as I press my lips to her hair. “It’s okay. Everything’s gonna be alright.”

  It takes a minute with her clinging to me, sobbing violently into my chest, but I manage to stand up within the confines of the small space, her trembling body still wound around me tight. I glance around the stal
l, hooking her purse around my neck before I lift her phone from the railing and slide it into my back pocket. Finally, I grab the box that looks like it’s been ripped open by an inebriated badger and tighten my grip on her small, sobbing frame.

  I step back out into the store, consoling Evie as best I can while ignoring the looks coming from every direction as she sobs hard against my chest.

  “Oh, my God!” she wails. “What have we done?”

  “Shh,” I whisper as I clear the photo section, reaching for a bottle of whatever is sitting on the endcap, praying it’s got alcohol in it. “It’s okay.”

  “This is going to completely destroy my pussy, Dash!” she wails, no regard or care for the half dozen people gaping at us as her fingers start digging into my shirt. “It’s not ever going to be the same!”

  “Baby, don’t say that,” I whisper quietly in an effort to soothe us both while I struggle to set everything on the counter in front of me. “I’m sure it goes back.”

  “No, it won’t!” she argues, her voice cracking and higher in pitch than I’ve ever heard. “Even if it does,” she shakes her head, wiping her nose on my shoulder before she lets out another low sob. “It never forgets.”

  “Hang on tight, pussycat,” I whisper when I come to a slow stop at the register, her grip tightening as I set our things onto the counter with one hand, holding her in place with the other. “I’m gonna take you home, okay?”

  “Good evening,” the cashier approaches, her voice slowing slightly when she takes in the half gallon bottle of cheap wine and jagged remnants of the cardboard between us. “How are-?”

  Her eyes meet mine, finally registering the disaster unfolding in front of her, and her eyes go wide.

  “I’m never going to be this hot again, Dash!” Evie wails against my neck as I stare back at the cashier, my expression deadpan. “This wasn’t supposed to happen until I could afford a maternity shoot like Beyonce!”

  “How’m I doing?” I ask, Evie’s dramatic sobs drowning out my voice as I toss two twenties down and snatch the bag off the counter, flashing her a sarcastic smirk. “Take a fuckin’ guess.”