Delphi Complete Works of Sheridan Le Fanu

by J. Sheridan le Fanu

  “Ha! Dives,” said the Baronet, as that divine, who had heard the sad news, presented himself at the now open door. “I sent for you, my dear fellow. A horrid screw in my left toe this time. Such a spoil-sport! curse it, but it won’t be anything. I’ve sent for Pratt, and you’ll tell the people at breakfast, you know, that I’m a prisoner; only a trifle though, I hope — down to dinner maybe. There’s the gong — run down, like a dear fellow.”

  “Not flying — well fixed in the toe, eh?” said Dives, rather anxiously, for he did not like Sir Jekyl’s constrained voice and sunken look.

  “Quite fixed — blazing away — just the thing Pratt likes — confounded pain though. Now run down, my dear fellow, and make my excuses, but say I hope to be down to dinner, mind.”

  So, with another look, Dives went down, not quite comfortable, for on the whole he liked Jekyl, who had done a great deal for him; he did not like tragedies, he was very comfortable as he stood, and quite content to await the course of nature.

  “Is that d — d doctor ever coming?” asked Sir Jekyl, dismally.

  “He’ll be here, sir, please, in five minutes — so he said, sir.”

  “I know, but there’s been ten since, curse him.”

  “Shall I send again, sir?” asked Tomlinson.

  “Do; say I’m in pain, and can’t think what the devil’s keeping him.”

  Beatrix in a moment more came running up in consternation.

  “How do you feel now, papa? Gout, is it not?” she asked, having obtained leave to come in; “not very bad, I hope.”

  The Baronet smiled with an effort.

  “Gout’s never very pleasant, a hot thumbscrew on one’s toe, my dear, but that’s all; it will be nothing. Pratt’s coming, and he’ll get me right in a day or two — only the great toe. I beg pardon for naming it so often — very waspish though, that’s all. Don’t stay away, or the people will fancy something serious; and possibly I may be down, in a slipper though, to dinner. So run down, Trixie, darling.”

  And Trixie, with the same lingering look that Dives had cast on him, only more anxious, betook herself to the parlour as he had desired.

  In a little while Doctor Pratt had arrived. As he toddled through the hall he encountered the Rev. Dives on his way to the breakfast-parlour. Pratt had suffered some rough handling and damage at the hands of Time, and Dives was nothing the better of the sarcastic manipulations of the same ancient god, since they had last met. Still they instantly recognised, and shook hands cordially, and when the salutation was over —

  “Well, and what’s wrong with the Baronet?”

  “Gout; he drinks two glasses of port, I’ve observed, at dinner, and it always disagrees with him. Pray do stop it — the port, I mean.”

  “Hand or foot?”

  “The great toe — the best place, isn’t it?”

  “No better, sir. There’s nothing, nothing of the stomach? — I brought this in case,” and he held up a phial.

  “No, but I don’t like his looks; he looks so haggard and exhausted.”

  “H’m, I’d like to see him at once; I don’t know his room though.”

  So Dives put him in charge of a guide, and they parted.

  “Well, Sir Jekyl, how d’ye do, hey? and how’s all this? Old enemy, hey — all in the foot — fast in the toe — isn’t he?” began the Doctor as he entered the Baronet’s room.

  “Ay, in the toe. Sit down there, Pratt, beside me.”

  “Ah, ha! nervous; you think I’ll knock him, eh? Ha, ha, ha! No, no, no! Don’t be afraid. Nothing wrong in the stomach — no chill — retching?”

  “No.”

  “Head all right, too; nothing queer there?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing in the knuckles — old acquaintance, you know, when you meet, sometimes a squeeze by the hand, eh? Ha, ha, ha!”

  “No, nothing in the hand,” said the Baronet, a little testily.

  “Nor any wandering sensations here, you know, and there, hey?” said the little fellow, sitting down briskly by his patient.

  “No; curse it.”

  “Troublesome to talk, hey?” asked Pratt, observing that he seemed faint, and talked low and with effort.

  “No — yes — that is, tired.”

  “I see, no pain; all nicely fixed in the toe; that could not be better, and what do you refer it to? By Jove, it’s eighteen, nineteen months since your last! When you came down to Dartbroke, for the Easter, you know, and wrote to me for the thing with the ether, hey? You’ve been at that d — d bin, I’m afraid, the forbidden fruit, hey? Egad, sir, I call it fluid gout, and the crust nothing but chalk-stone.”

  “No — I haven’t,” croaked the Baronet savagely.

  “Ha, ha, ha!” laughed the Doctor, drumming on his fat knee with his stethoscope. “Won’t admit — won’t allow, hey?” As he spoke he was attempting to take him by the wrist.

  “Pulse? How are we there, eh?”

  “Turn that d — d fellow out of the room, and bolt the door, will you?” muttered Sir Jekyl, impatiently.

  “Hey? I see. How are you, Mr. Tomlinson — no return of that bronchial annoyance, eh? I’ll ask you just now — we’ll just make Sir Jekyl Marlowe a little more comfortable first, and I’ve a question or two — we’d be as well alone, you see — and do you mind? You’ll be in the way, you know; we may want you, you know.”

  So the docile Tomlinson withdrew with a noiseless alacrity, and Doctor Pratt, in deference to his patron, bolted the mangled door.

  “See, Pratt, you’re tiring me to death, with your beastly questions. Wait, will you? Sit down. You’ll promise me you won’t tell this to anyone.”

  “What?”

  “Do hold your tongue, like a dear fellow, and listen. Upon your honour, you don’t tell, till I give you leave, what’s the matter with me. Come — d —— you; yes or no?”

  “Well, you know I must, if you insist; but I’d rayther not.”

  “You must. On your honour you won’t tell, and you’ll call it gout?”

  “Why — why, if it is not gout, eh? don’t you see? it would not do.”

  “Well, good morning to you, Doctor Pratt, for I’m hanged if you prescribe for me on any other terms.”

  “Well, don’t you see, I say I must, if you insist, don’t you see; it may be — it may be — egad! it might be very serious to let you wait.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes, I do. There!”

  “Gout, mind, and nothing else; all gout, upon your honour.”

  “Aw, well! Yes.”

  “Upon your honour; why the devil can’t you speak!”

  “Upon my honour, of course.”

  “You kill me, making me talk. Well, ’tisn’t in the toe — it’s up here,” and he uncovered his right shoulder and chest, showing some handkerchiefs and his nightshirt soaked in blood.

  “What the devil’s all this?” exclaimed the Doctor, rising suddenly, and the ruddy tints of his face fading into a lilac hue. “Why — why, you’re hurt; egad, you’re hurt. We must examine it. What is it with — how the plague did it all come about?”

  “The act of God,” answered Sir Jekyl, with a faint irony in his tone.

  “The — ah! — well, I don’t understand.”

  “I mean the purest accident.”

  “Bled a lot, egad! These things seem pretty dry — bleeding away still? You must not keep it so hot — the sheet only.”

  “I think it’s stopped — the things are sticking — I feel them.”

  “So much the better; but we must not leave it this way — and — and I daren’t disturb it, you know, without help, so we’ll have to take Tomlinson into confidence.”

  “‘Gad, you’ll do no such thing.”

  “But, my dear sir, I must tell you, this thing, whatever it is, looks very serious. I can tell you, it’s not to be trifled with, and this sort of nonsense may be as much as your life’s worth, egad.”

  “You shan’t,” said Sir Jekyl.


  “You’ll allow me to speak with your brother?”

  “No, you shan’t.”

  “Ho, now, Sir Jekyl, really now— “

  “Promised — your honour.”

  “’Tisn’t a fair position,” said the practitioner, shaking his head, with his hands stuffed in his pockets, and staring dismally at the bloodstained linen. “I’ll tell you what we must do — there are two supernumeraries I happen to know at the county hospital, and Hicks is a capital nurse. I’ll write a line and they’ll send her here. There’s a room in there, eh? yes, well, she can be quartered there, and talk with no one but you and me; in fact, see no one except in your presence, don’t you see? and egad, we must have her, or I’ll give up the case.”

  “Well, yes; send for her.”

  * * *

  CHAPTER XXV.

  The Patient interrogated.

  So Doctor Pratt scribbled a few lines on the back of his card, and Tomlinson was summoned to the door, and told to expedite its despatch, and “send one of the men in a dog-cart as hard as he could peg, and to be sure to see Doctor Hoggins,” who had been an apprentice once of honest Pratt’s.

  “Tell her not to wait for dressing, or packing, or anything. She’ll come just as she is, and we’ll send again for her things, d’ye mind? and let him drive quick. It’s only two miles, he must not be half an hour about it;” and in a low whisper, with a frown and a nod, he added to Tomlinson on the lobby, “I want her here.”

  So he sat down very grave by Sir Jekyl, and took his pulse, very low and inflammatory, he thought.

  “You lost a good deal of blood? It is not all here, eh?”

  “No; I lost some beside.”

  “Mind, now, don’t move. You may bring it on again; and you’re not in a condition to spare any. How did it happen?”

  “A knife or something.”

  “A thrust, eh? Not a cut; I mean a stab?”

  “Yes.”

  “About how long ago? What hour?”

  Sir Jekyl hesitated.

  “Oh! now come, Sir Jekyl, I beg pardon, but I really must know the facts.”

  “Remember your promise — awfully tired.”

  “Certainly. What o’clock?”

  “Between one and two.”

  “You must have some claret;” and he opened the door and issued orders accordingly. The Doctor had his fingers on his pulse by this time.

  “Give me some water; I’m dying of thirst,” said the patient.

  The Doctor obeyed.

  “And there’s no gout at all, then?” said he.

  “Not a bit,” answered Sir Jekyl, pettishly; his temper and his breath seemed to be failing him a little.

  “Did you feel faint when it happened, or after?”

  “Just for a moment, when it happened, then pretty well; and when I got here, in a little time, worse, very faint; I think I did faint, but a little blood always does that for me. But it’s not deep, I know by the feel — only the muscle.”

  “H’m. I shan’t disturb these things till the nurse comes; glad there’s no gout, no complication.”

  The claret-jug was soon at the bedside, and the Doctor helped his patient to a few spoonfuls, and felt his pulse again.

  “I must go home for the things, d’ye see? I shan’t be long away though. Here, Tomlinson, you’ll give Sir Jekyl a spoonful or a glassful of this claret, d’ye mind, as often as he requires it. About every ten minutes a little to wet his lips; and mind, now, Sir Jekyl, drink any quantity rather than let yourself go down.”

  As he went from the room he signed to Tomlinson, who followed him quietly.

  “See, now, my good fellow, this is rather a serious case, you understand me; and he must not be let down. Your master, Sir Jekyl, I say, he must be kept up. Keep a little claret to his lips, and if you see any pallor or moisture in his face, give it him by a glassful at a time; and go on, do you mind, till he begins to look natural again, for he’s in a very critical state; and if he were to faint, d’ye see, or anything, it might be a very serious thing; and you’d better ring for another bottle or two; but don’t leave him on any account.”

  They were interrupted here by a tapping in Sir Jekyl’s room. Lying on his back, he was rapping with his penknife on the table.

  “Why the plague don’t you come?” he muttered, as Tomlinson drew near. “Where’s Pratt? tell him I want him.”

  “Hey — no — no pain?” asked the Doctor.

  “No; I want to know — I want to know what the devil you’ve been saying to him out there.”

  “Nothing; only a direction.”

  “Do you think — do you think I’m in danger?” said Sir Jekyl.

  “Well, no. You needn’t be if you mind, but — but don’t refuse the claret, mind, and don’t be afraid of it if you feel a — a sinking, you know, any quantity; and I’ll be back before the nurse comes from the hospital; and — and don’t be excited, for you’ll do very well if you’ll only do as I tell you.”

  The Doctor nodded, standing by the bed, but he did not look so cheerfully as he spoke.

  “I’ll be back in twenty minutes. Don’t be fidgety, you know; don’t stir, and you’ll do very nicely, I say.”

  When the Doctor was gone, Sir Jekyl said —

  “Tomlinson.”

  “Yes, sir, please.”

  “Tomlinson, come here; let me see you.”

  “Yes, Sir Jekyl; sir— “

  “I say, Tomlinson, you’ll tell the truth, mind.”

  “Yes, sir, please.”

  “Did that fellow say anything?”

  “Yes, sir, please.”

  “Out with it.”

  “’Twas claret, Sir Jekyl, please, sir.”

  “None of your d — d lies, sir. I heard him say ‘serious.’ What was it?”

  “Please, sir, he said as how you were to be kep up, sir, which it might be serious if otherwise. So he said, sir, please, it might be serious if you was not properly kep up with claret, please, sir.”

  “Come, Tomlinson — see I must know. Did he say I was in a bad way — likely to die? — come.” His face was certainly hollow and earthy enough just then to warrant forebodings.

  “No, sir; certainly not, sir. No, sir, please, nothing of the kind.”

  The Baronet looked immeasurably more like himself.

  “Give me some wine — a glass,” said he.

  The Doctor, stumping away rapidly to his yellow door, and red and green twin bottles, in the village, was thinking how the deuce this misadventure of Sir Jekyl’s had befallen. The Baronet’s unlucky character was well known wherever he resided or had property.

  “Who the devil did it, I wonder?” conjectured the Doctor. “Two o’clock at night. Some pretty fury with a scissors, maybe. We’ll know time enough; these things always come out — always come out, egad! It’s a shame for him getting into scrapes at his time of life.”

  In the breakfast-parlour, very merry was the party then assembled, notwithstanding the absence of some of its muster-roll. Lady Jane Lennox, an irregular breakfaster, stood excused. Old Lady Alice was no more expected than the portrait of Lady Mary in her bedroom. General Lennox had business that morning, and was not particularly inquired after. Sir Jekyl, indeed, was missed — bustling, goodnatured, lively — his guests asked after him with more than a conventional solicitude.

  “Well, and how is papa now?” inquired Sir Paul, who knew what gout was, and being likely to know it again, felt a real interest in the Baronet’s case. “No acute pain, I hope?”

  “I’m afraid he is in pain, more than he admits,” answered Beatrix.

  “Tomlinson told me it’s all in the — the extremity, though that’s well. Intelligent fellow, Tomlinson. Mine is generally what they call atonic, not attended with much pain, you know;” and he illustrated his disquisition by tendering his massive mulberry knuckles for the young lady’s contemplation, and fondling them with the glazed fingers of the other hand, while his round blue eyes stared, with a slow sort of wonder, in
her face, as if he expected a good deal in the way of remark from the young lady to mitigate his astonishment.

  Lady Blunket, who was beside her, relieved this embarrassment, and nodding at her ear, said —

  “Flannel — flannel, chiefly. Sir Paul, there, his medical man, Doctor Duddle, we have great confidence in him — relies very much on warmth. My poor father used to take Regent’s — Regent’s — I forget what — a bottle. But Doctor Duddle would not hear of Sir Paul there attempting to put it to his lips. Regent’s — what is it? I shall forget my own name soon. Water is it? At all events he won’t hear of it — diet and flannel, that’s his method. My poor father, you know, died of gout, quite suddenly, at Brighton. Cucumber, they said.”

  And Lady Blunket, overcome by the recollection, touched her eyes with her handkerchief.

  “Cucumber and salmon, it was, I recollect,” said Sir Paul, with a new accession of intelligence.

  “But he passed away most happily, Miss Marlowe,” continued Lady Blunket. “I have some verses of poor mamma’s. She was very religious, you know; they have been very much admired.”

  “Ay — yes,” said Sir Paul, “he was helped twice — very imprudent!”

  “I was mentioning dear mamma’s verses, you remember.”

  Sir Paul not being quite so well up in this aspect of the case, simply grunted and became silent; and indeed I don’t think he had been so loquacious upon any other morning or topic since his arrival at Marlowe.

  “They are beautiful,” continued Lady Blunket, “and so resigned. I was most anxious, my dear, to place a tablet under the monument, you know, at Maisly; a mural tablet, just like the Tuftons’, you know; they are very reasonable, inscribed with dear mamma’s verses; but I can’t persuade Sir Paul, he’s so poor, you know; but certainly, some day or other, I’ll do it myself.”

  The irony about Sir Paul’s poverty, though accompanied by a glance from her ladyship’s pink eyes, was lost on that excellent man, who was by this time eating some hot broil.

  Their judicious conversation was not without an effect commensurate with the rarity of the exertion, for between them they had succeeded in frightening poor Beatrix a good deal.