“They look good don’t they.” He mouths proudly turning to look at the lights before looking back at me and noticing the steaming mugs of hot chocolate in my hands. “Is one of those for me?” He asks with a gesture. I nod as he slides opens the glass door between us. I step outside handing him his mug before turning to lean against the balcony looking back into the apartment. Our large tree stands in front of the window at the opposite side to the door looking magical, each ornament placed in the perfect position. The smaller tree stands on the sideboard each branch adorned with Swarovski crystal ornament. The new one we got in Meadowhall this year sits pride of place in the centre of the tree.
“It all looks amazing I’m so excited for Christmas this year.” Sipping my hot chocolate, I feel warmth wash over me. Life is perfect. “I know we are spending boxing day at the centre and we are spending Christmas Day with your Mum, but do you think she would mind coming here for Christmas dinner?” I look at Matt feeling nervous, but he smiles.
“Having dinner here would be perfect I can go and pick her up Christmas morning. I’m sure she would love to come and not have to cook for once.” I shiver in the cold. “Come on let’s go inside.” Matt adds.
“You could and she could stay over we have the spare room and we can take her home boxing day on the way to the centre.” Once inside Matt shrugs off his coat.
“You are so organised; decorations are up we have all the Christmas presents and now lunch is sorted.”
“Well you need to call her and ask her.” I say dropping down onto the sofa beside him. He immediately pulls his phone out and I tuck my legs under me and lean against him, his arm goes around me pulling me closer. I can only hear his side of the conversation since he doesn’t have his phone on loudspeaker.
“That’s sorted she said she would love to come and have Christmas with us, she said it’s a relief to have a year off and relax. She always cooks me lunch.” Matt says.
“Well, now I feel the pressure.” I rest my head on his chest.
“No pressure at all it will be amazing.” He says kissing the top of my head.
“Oh, we can go shopping for table decorations and crackers or do you think we should make them?” He laughs
“We can go shopping next weekend, but it is just the three of us you know.” I nod.
“I do, I just want this to be special.”
“I know it will be, we are here together and that’s all we need.” Lifting my head, I kiss him my fingers slipping into his hair. His arms wrap around me and he pulls me closer.
~~~
I wake up and see Matt sleeping, his arm across my waist. It’s Christmas morning and I feel excited, reaching for my phone I check the time, it’s only 6.05am. I lay turning my head to look at Matt, his breath tickling my neck, it’s really early and he looks so peaceful. I cough and Matt lifts his hand off my waist, rubs at his nose before replacing it back on my waist. I turn on to my side to face him wiggling more than I need to, but still nothing, why will he not wake up? I huff and I feel him move, closing my eyes I blow out a long slow breath.
“Are you trying to wake me?” He says as his arm tightens around me and my eyes fly open. “Merry Christmas.” He kisses me before I can answer.
“Merry Christmas. Were you faking on me?”
“I wanted to know how long you could wait before waking me.” He chuckles.
“It’s Christmas you have to be nice.” I say trying to look hurt, but I can only smile.
“I’m always nice.” He says. “Come on let’s get up and open our presents. I want to have you all to myself for a while before you start cooking and I have to go for my Mum.” I jump out of bed unable to resist the invitation to start the day. I pull on my Christmas pyjamas that I got out of my Christmas eve box yesterday and look at Matt laid there the duvet covering him from the waist down, his bare chest on display.
“Come on this was your idea.” I tug the duvet off him before heading into the lounge. I walk around the room switching on the Christmas lights and the TV, I select a music channel before setting foot in the kitchen. I switch the oven on and open the fridge taking out the pain au chocolate and croissants along with the Bucks Fizz. I make up the pain au chocolate and croissants laying them on baking trays and place them in the oven, Matt comes in and starts to open the Bucks Fizz pouring me a glass before switching on the kettle to make his tea.
We sit in the lounge by the tree, remnants of wrapping paper around us and two piles of gifts. Christmas songs playing in the background. I lean back against the sofa watching Matt set up his iPad a huge smile on his face. I was worried he would think it was too much, but I guess it’s smaller than a car. I take off my Pandora bracelet and add the house charm to it, each charm has a meaning to us and celebrates a milestone in our relationship.
“I’m going to switch the oven on again and start setting the table.” I call to him. “Do you want another cup of tea?” I ask, He looks up at me.
“I will make it and help you.” He puts his iPad down.
“It’s okay I can manage you finish setting your iPad up before you have to go for your Mum.” He picks the iPad back up and follows me to the kitchen sitting on the side as I make a list of times everything needs to go in the oven.
“You do everything with such organised precision.” He says smiling at me.
“That’s just me, I can’t do anything without a list.” I tell him as I start to set the table, I set the crackers resting at the top of each plate next to the wine glasses.
The turkey is in the oven and I head to the bedroom to change.
“Don’t lose track of time you have to go and get you Mum soon.” I tell him as I pass by him in the lounge still playing with his iPad.
“I know.” Comes his voice from behind me. “I’m going to get dressed and go now seeing as you have everything under control.” He says as he sets his iPad down on the chest of drawers.
~~~
The door closes and I hear voices as Matt comes into sight carrying two Christmas bags.
“Happy Christmas.” I say to Julie as she walks over hugging me.
“Happy Christmas Anne, you look lovely as always, is there anything I can do to help?” She asks me. I smile at her.
“Thank you as do you and everything is under control I think, so just relax, you’re here as our guest. There is wine chilling, or I can make you a cup of tea.” I say, Matt jumps in.
“Wine for Mum I think, I will get it.” He says heading to the kitchen. We both follow behind him, and we all sit at the breakfast bar chatting while I finish cooking dinner and set in all on serving dishes.
Too stuffed to move I curl up on the sofa with Matt next to me, Julie is sat in the chair watching the Christmas speech. We opened Julie’s gifts just before the speech started. I feel extremely lucky to be part of this wonderful family and I love how easy I have been accepted in, it makes my heart feel full.
Julie is delighted with her spa weekend away we got her for her and a friend to enjoy, me and Matt were spoiled with a weekend away in Brighton as well as pyjamas and toiletries.
As the day went on we didn’t really do much, I made a buffet tea which none of us really ate since we were still quite full from lunch, we just picked at it because it was there and watched old Christmas movies. At around ten Julie yawns and excuses herself taking herself off to bed saying goodnight to us both. I start to feel my eyes closing. Matt lifts me into his arms, I’m far too sleepy to argue as he carries me to bed laying me down. undressing me he climbs in beside me and wraps me in his arms.
“Merry Christmas Angel, I hope you’ve had a lovely day.” He says, before kissing my temple. Before I can reply sleep pulls me under.
Chapter 33
Anne
I have spent all day trying to find the perfect gift for a sixteen year old, and I have a list, but I’m not sure any of it is what Brad is looking for.
“Anne can I borrow you please.” Brad asks from his office doorway. I nod and walk ove
r to his office.
“Any joy with what we can get Zach yet?” He asks as I take a seat next to him.
“I have texted Claire and she’s trying to help me.” I smile.
“You are a superstar.”
“Just doing my job.” I reply, brushing off the compliment.
“How…” He stops, and I wait knowing full well what he wants to know. “How is Claire?” He finally asks, and I raise my eyebrow.
“She still won’t talk to you, what the hell did you do to her?” I ask.
“I fucked up and don’t know how to make it better.” He adds dejectedly.
“Just give her time, I know you like her whether you can admit it or not.” I say encouragingly, Brad chuckles leaning towards me, he rests his hand on my knee and I place my hand over his supportively as I look across at him. His eyes have changed and there is that hint of mischievousness in them, that is so Brad.
“I like you too.” He says smirking. I shake my head at him.
“Ha! You Bradley are a big old flirt.” Placing my hand on his chest I push him playfully.
“Ahhh you know you love me.” He says winking at me. Smiling I shake my head slowly.
“Shhh, you can’t let people hear that,” I say feigning shock.
“Anne you’re breaking my heart.” He says taking my hand and holding it against his chest over his heart. “Can you feel it breaking?” I giggle softly at his dramatics.
“You Sir are incorrigible.” I say laughing at his expression. “Now I need to get back to work, I’ll let you know once I have ideas for presents.” I pat his chest and stand looking down at him. “As for Claire give her time she will talk to you soon I’m sure.” He stands, towering over me.
“Thanks, Gorgeous.” He says with genuine affection in his voice, before leaning in and kissing my cheek. I jump, and a squeal escapes my lips as he smacks my bum on his way to his desk. “I have always wanted to do that.” He says chuckling as he drops into his chair.
I walk from his office to see Matt; his back is to me as he steps into the lift.
“Matt.” I call out as I walk to the lift, but he leans to the side pressing the lift button before standing straight, his eyes meeting mine. The look he gives me makes me stop in my tracks, His eyes are cold and full of anger, the look on his face makes my stomach twist with worry. Why is he so angry? Turning to look at Brad’s door my hand flies to my mouth as Brad’s face pops around the door.
“Anne are you okay?” He asks concerned. I shake my head as my finger presses the lift call button frantically.
“No, I’m not. He saw us Brad. Matt saw us and from the look on his face he has misinterpreted the whole thing.” Panic fills me as the images of the last few minutes replay in my mind. It was nothing but innocent banter, but Matt is so insecure about Brad, what must he think?
Before Brad has time to answer I give up on the lift, it feels like it’s taking forever. Pushing open the door to the stairwell I run downstairs as quickly as I can pushing the door open that leads to his floor. Mollie looks up at me smiling brightly.
“You just missed him he just got in the lift.” She says holding up a photo of Matt and I. “I can’t believe he’s gone, I hope he likes his new job I know how much the centre means to him, but no notice, no goodbye, nothing after all this time.” She says with a shrug and a sad look on her face. I try and process all she just said. He left, he left with no notice, he won’t be coming back. “I’m made up he got the job, but it won’t be the same here without him. He left this when he cleared his desk, I can’t believe he forgot it, he loved this photo of you and him.” She adds as she hands me the photo.
“Thanks.” I say taking the photo, turning to head down to the ground floor the sick feeling in my stomach increasing as I push open the door to reception bumping onto Joe the security guard.
“Whoa Miss Ryder are you okay?” He asks in concern, his hand taking hold of my elbow to steady me. Trying to catch my breath I hold onto his arm to steady myself.
“Sorry Joe, Yes I’m okay. I’m looking for Matt. I was trying to catch him before he leaves.” I say still slightly breathless.
“Oh, sorry you are a few minutes too late, Mr Richardson just left.” He replies apologetically. I try and smile as I turn and slowly walk upstairs.
Returning to my desk I drop down in my chair setting the photo on my desk, I try and enter the password to unlock my Mac, but my shaking hands won’t work.
“Damn stupid system.” I say annoyed. Brad walks from his office and looks at me.
“Are you okay?” He asks concerned. I shake my head afraid to speak. “Go and find him, I will take care of this.” He reaches into my bottom drawer and pulls out my bag holding it out to me. “I’m sorry Anne really I am, you know...” He trails off. I take my bag and nod.
“I know, and you have nothing to be sorry for. He has this odd idea about us I know it’s ludicrous, but that conversation…” I stop before my voice cracks. He runs his hand through his hair.
“Yeah, I know. I was a dick; can I give you a lift home?” I shake my head at his offer.
“Thanks, but I’ll take a taxi. You dropping me off wouldn’t go down too well right now.” I add with a sad smile. He nods and sits at my desk. “Call me if you need anything. I mean it.” He says sincerely. I nod and turn heading back to the lift I wait before stepping into it. I silently tell myself. ‘It will be okay. I will explain when I get home and it will all be okay.’
I give the taxi driver Matt’s old address, although he is really living with me his lease isn’t up yet and my first thought is he would be there as it’s neutral ground. I feel the first glimmer of hope as we pull up and there is no sign of his car.
Me: Matt where are you we need to talk I can explain. A xxx
Nothing my heart sinks.
Me: Matt Please just let me know you’re okay I’m worried. A xxx
Still nothing and tears brim my eyes.
Me: Matt Please!
I quickly give the taxi driver my address and sit on the edge of my seat, my heart racing as we get closer to our apartment. My heart sinks as we pull up in the car park and our allocated spaces are empty. I pay the driver and take the lift to our apartment calling Matt, the call is diverted to voicemail.
“Matt please call me back; it isn’t what you think. Please let me explain. I love you.” The tears fall as I push the key into the lock and step into the empty apartment it has never felt so big and lonely. I curl up in the chair and look out over the river my phone in my hand just in case he calls back.
~~~
It has been the longest weekend, Matt never returned my call or answered any of my texts, I called his Mum, but he wasn’t there either, to make matters worse I had managed to worry Julie now too. I even tried the centre and they hadn’t seen him which makes me worry more, it’s not like him not to go and see the kids. I barely get a wink of sleep and I feel sick to my stomach.
Monday morning eventually arrives, and I am exhausted, and my worry is growing not just for the sake of our relationship, but for Matt. All I want right now is to know he is okay. I open my text just to double check I haven’t missed one, but the last message was from me and is still showing unread.
Me: Matt you are worrying me please just let me know you are okay. A xxx
I squeeze my phone in my hand as I step off the tube and walk to work willing it to ring or beep, just to have something to hold on to.
I look up at the building in front of me knowing Matt won’t be inside today or any other day from now on. I feel like a complete mess. I take a few slow deep breaths to calm the panic inside me and stop the tears from falling. Feelings of trepidation fill me as I walk into the building, I give Joe a feeble smile as he greets me, and I head silently to the lift and press the button for my floor.
Stepping out onto the quiet floor I sit at my desk looking at the black Mac screen when my phone rings, pulling it from my pocket I answer it without looking.
“Matt.”
I say desperately into the phone.
“No, it’s me.” Brad’s voice comes down the line. “I won’t be in today and I need you to fetch somethings to my house and work here today maybe longer.” His voice sounds troubled.
“Of course, Brad, what’s wrong? Are you and Kenzie okay?” I ask as I pull open the top drawer of my desk grabbing a notebook and pen ready to make a list of everything he needs.
“Not really no. It’s my Dad, he’s… he’s dead.” His voice is broken, my heart aches for him, he loved and looked up to his Dad so much. I understand the pain of losing a parent and no words can help him right now.
“Brad, I’m so sorry, tell me what you need me to do?” I ask grateful for something to think about. He fires off a list of things he needs from the office and I quickly scribble a list of the files and paperwork he wants. “I will be there as soon as I can.” I reassure him.
“Parker is on his way…” He pauses. “Anne, I need you to be here to help organise the…funeral, I can’t think where to start.” I clutch the phone in both hands.
“Whatever you need me to do, I will be there soon.” After ending the call, I gather everything together and head downstairs to wait for Parker he takes me home first to grab some clothes before he takes me to Brad’s house.
Knocking softly on the door before pushing my key into the lock, I turn it and push the door open. Brad comes walking towards me. He looks so different in jeans and a t-shirt, his hair is all ruffled and it looks like he hasn’t slept or shaven all weekend.
“I’m so sorry Brad.” I say setting my bags on the floor, walking over I reach up hugging him tightly, his arms wrap around me as his head drops to my shoulder, his arms hold me tight like he needs the physical support.
Anne Page 20
