“I will do whatever you need me to do, I’m here for you all. Where is your Mum and Kenzie?” I ask hoping he’s not alone.
“I knew you would come and help even though it’s not for work. Thank you, I appreciate this.” He says releasing me. “They are in the kitchen; she has been staying here.” His whole demeanour is defeated. “What’s with all the bags?” He asks pointing at the bags.
“You said you needed me to be here for today maybe longer, I wasn’t sure how long for, so I fetched some clothes and things just in case I need to stay, I can help with Kenzie too. There will be a lot of things to organise Brad, I know it’s not my place, but I would like to help all I can.” I reply, over the years Brad has become more than my boss, he’s a good friend too.
“You know your amazing right, I don’t know how I managed before you.” He squeezes my hand. “Is Matt okay with this?” He adds, his eyebrow raised.
“Sure.” I say smiling at him, right now my problems are not important. “I’m going to make some coffee and something for you all eat, I bet you haven’t eaten anything really.” I grab a notepad and pen from my bag ready to make a list of things I need Parker to fetch me from the supermarket.
“I haven’t really got an appetite, but I could do with a coffee.” He says walking towards the kitchen. I stop him taking hold of his arm.
“Not so fast. I will make the coffee, you go and grab a shower and a shave.” He tries to interrupt, but I stop him holding up my hand. “I know you don’t want to and I know it won’t make you feel better, but it will help your Mum and Kenzie seeing you looking normal.” I say encouragingly. “Plus, you stink!” I tease, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “I will have you a large coffee ready when you come back down.”
“Charming.” He replies but doesn’t argue and I watch him walk up the stairs before I make my way to the kitchen.
Chapter 34
Matt
I can’t wait to tell Anne the news, I was so excited when they called to offer me the job as a full-time support worker at the centre. I immediately said yes and started to make my way to her floor so I could see the look on her face. I know it doesn’t pay as much as this job, but I would be helping so many kids out and I could help give them chances they never thought they would get.
As the lift arrives at the top floor I rush out of it just in time to see her walk into his office, she sits next to him on the black leather sofa and I cringe, I really don’t like her working for him, he only wants to get in her knickers I know his type. I can’t take my eyes off the two of them as I watch his hand touch her crossed knees. My hands clench into fists and I find myself taking a few steps closer to his office. I can just make out what they are saying. I watch Anne put her hand on his chest and then the words cut me in a million different ways.
“Ahhh, you know you love me.” He says and I swear he winks at her.
“Shhh, you can’t let people hear you say that.” She says back with a stupid grin on her face. I can’t take any more I start moving back to the lift I have to get out of here.
Even though I’m almost at the lift I can’t take my eyes from the end of my relationship. She stands and says something then he leans in and kisses her then he pats her arse. What the actual fuck! I can’t believe she had me fooled all this time, she had me believing she loved me, and she was carrying on with him behind my back. I slam my hand on the call button and the lift doors open I step inside and press the button for my floor relentlessly, just as the door closes my eyes meet Anne’s. How could she do this to me?
I sit at my desk for a minute trying to take a few calming breaths. I can’t get the image of the two of them out of my head. I can’t be here anymore. Walking to the copy room I grab an empty paper box and take it back to my desk filling it with all the stuff on my desk.
“Matt, what are you doing?” Mollie asks as she walks in.
“I got the job at the centre I’m leaving.” I tell her picking up the photo of Anne and me. I look at us we look so happy and the pain of what I just witnessed hits me again. I place the photo back on my desk leaving the photo, what do I want with that it means nothing to me now. I feel my heartbreaking, but I can’t allow it to show. I don’t say anything else I just grab the box I have just filled with all my personal belongings and leave.
“Matt!” I hear Mollie call, but I don’t reply or stop I just keep walking. I don’t talk to anyone else I just walk as quickly as I can to my car.
“Fuck!” I yell as I smack my steering wheel I had tried to call the landlord of my flat to see if I could keep my flat when the tenancy runs out in a few days, but he’s just told me that he already has someone lined up to move in. What the fuck am I going to do? I can’t go to the flat or my Mum’s those are the first places she will look for me and I’m not going home. I laugh bitterly at my thoughts, it’s not my home anymore.
I drive around not sure what to do or where to go. My phone beeps indicating a text, I glance at the screen seeing Anne’s name and three messages, I really don’t want to read those right now. I see a Premier Inn, another reminder of us, we always stay here because we love the hotel. We know what to expect and their breakfasts are really good. I pull into the car park and lean back into my car seat. How can my life go from perfect to shit in seconds? I glance at my phone and see the messages again, just as I look at it Anne’s face fills the screen as it starts to vibrate with her call. I can’t talk to her right now; I decline the call and turn my phone off. Tossing the phone in the glove box so I don’t have to deal with anyone for now.
I climb out of my car locking it behind me, I stride purposefully into the hotel I just want to be on my own right now and get my head straight.
The doors open automatically as I approach them, and I make my way to the reception.
“Good Afternoon, how can I help you?” A cheery voice asks.
“I’m wanting a room for a couple of nights please.” I state.
“Do you have a reservation?” She questions as she turns her attention to the computer beside her.
“No, I don’t, are you fully booked?” I ask.
“No, we aren’t. I have a room available, you said for two nights, is it just yourself staying?” she asks, I nod and speak.
“Yes, just me.”
“Lovely I just need your details. Would you like any of our meal packages?” She asks.
“No thank you, just the room please.” I tell her as I pull my wallet out of my trouser pocket. I give her my name and the address to the flat, pulling my card from my wallet I hand it over to her. Once my payment has gone through, she tells me my room number and hands me the key for it. I listen to the directions she gives me to the room and then thank her as I leave the reception area and make my way to my room.
I have been in my room for an hour or so, I have lost track of time, but it is getting dark outside. I’m restless and don’t seem to be able to settle. I alternate from laying on the bed to pacing the room. I can’t get the image of them out of my head and their words are playing on a loop, it’s all I can hear. I just need to forget for a while. I remember a Tesco express nearby, grabbing my keys I leave the hotel and walk the short distance to the shop I grab a bottle of vodka and make my way back. I kick my shoes off and get one of the glasses from the bathroom, I sit on the bed and fill the glass with the clear liquid gulping it back. I feel the burn as I swallow each mouth full until the glass is empty, refilling the glass I settle back against the pillow and stare at the wall opposite.
~~~
I have been in the hotel for two nights only leaving to go back to Tesco for Coke and crisps, that’s about all I have eaten in two days and I know I can’t stay here indefinitely. Picking up my jacket I make my way to the reception to check out and walk to my car. The only place I can go really is my Mum’s. I turn the key in the ignition and drive there pulling up outside, still not ready to talk about this or tell my Mum. Saying it out loud makes it feel so much more real.
I see the curtains m
ove and within seconds she is at the door, concern, and worry etched all over her face. I climb out of the car. Mum walks to me barefoot pulling me into a hug.
“Matthew, I have been so worried what’s going on you aren’t answering your phone and Anne has called a few times looking for you she sounds devastated.” She says pulling back as I scoff.
“I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want to talk to her if she calls, I’m not here okay!” I say firmly, she looks shocked.
“Matthew, I don’t like your tone and I don’t like being made to lie, but you are my son and you are obviously hurting.” She ushers me inside the house, and I regret my tone.
I sit hiding out at my Mum’s in my old bedroom for five days. I don’t do anything except lay there and morn the end of my relationship with who I really did believe was my soulmate, I was just stupid.
It’s a week since I caught them, and the pain is still as crippling as it was then.
“Matthew please Honey.” Mum says coming into my room and putting a cup of tea on the bedside table. “I’m so worried about you, you have been up here all week, you need to tell me what’s going on?” She says, sitting on the edge of the bed and placing her hand on my arm.
“She’s been seeing that Dick.” I tell her.
“Who?” Mum asks.
“Anne has been seeing her boss.” I clarify for her.
“I’m sure what you have heard is wrong, that girl loves you.” She tells me.
“I saw them, I heard her say it.” I bite out.
“Really?” Mum says disbelievingly.
“For god’s sake Mum yes, I’ll prove it.” I tell her picking up the landline she has in here. I dial the number for Mathias Enterprises and punching in the extension for Anne’s desk. As soon I hear the ringing tone, I hand Mum the phone, she looks stunned and it takes a second for her to speak.
“Hello, Anne Ryder's desk.” The voice repeats.
“Hi yes, I’m looking for Anne.” She says, why is Anne not answering her phone it is Friday morning? “Oh, I see I’m Matt’s Mum.” She pauses again and then her eyes meet mine. “Okay thank you.” She says before hanging up.
“Anne not in then?” I ask.
“Ummm no, they said that she is working from Mr Mathias house for a few days.” She says softly and I laugh bitterly.
“Told you.”
“I don’t believe it.” She says. “I’ll be back.” She says before walking off I have no clue what she’s doing.
The image of them hugging springs back into my mind. What I heard just makes me so angry. She is already staying with him; they didn’t waste any time, did they? Was she seeing him the whole time we have been together or is it a new thing? Were they at it when they went away on their so-called business trips? I can’t believe that she made a fool out of me.
Mum returns and it looks like she has been crying, she has always been so fond of Anne and she treated her like a daughter.
“You can’t wallow in your room forever; your new job starts on Monday you need to get out of those clothes and have a shower.” She states.
“I don’t have any other clothes.” I respond and then it hits me, if she is staying with him the apartment will be empty.
“Mum I’m going to get my clothes if she is at his then I can go and not have to see her, I will be back soon.” Standing I kiss her cheek. “Thank you for being here for me.” She squeezes my hand.
“I will always be here for you Son.” She releases my hand and I drive to our, no not ours, her apartment.
Pulling into my parking space I walk through the reception nodding to the concierge and take the lift to our floor. I push my key in the lock and open the door slowly listening out for any sign someone is home, but the place is deserted you can hear a pin drop. I close the door behind me and walk straight to the bedroom not wanting to see photos of us or the sofa where we laid together every evening. I stride straight into the bedroom and get out my holdall and backpack, pulling clothes from the wardrobe I stuff in as much as I can get into the holdall before heading to the bathroom I grab my toiletries and shaver, pushing them into the backpack along with the iPad she got me at Christmas and the chargers for it and my phone. I look at the rest of my clothes and I know I can’t manage them now. I will have to come back at some point, but I don’t want to see her now, I want to get out of here as quickly as possible. Picking up my bags I make my way out of the apartment, I lock up and make my way back to my Mum’s.
Chapter 35
Anne
The last week has been so busy I have hardly had a minute to think. I haven’t been home in just over a week which isn’t a bad thing, it has kept my mind busy and stopped me thinking about Matt twenty-four hours a day. I haven’t had as much as a text from him and the fact that he hasn’t even sent one that says he’s okay hurts.
My days are filled with keeping Mathias Enterprises going. I set up a base in Brad’s home office, I had to postpone his meetings as well as deal with staff issues back at the office and his business contacts. There was also the funeral to plan and the wake. The phone hardly ever stopped. James was a popular figure in the business world, and it was a testament to his character the number of cards that were sent.
Mellonie and Brad are doing so well, yesterday we had gone shopping for outfits for today, Mellonie had asked me to come along to help, she also insisted I need to get out of the office. It was nice to get out and do something normal like shopping and having lunch and Kenzie managed to make everyone smile. She is the cutest little thing; I had always thought that one day I would have children, but never thought about when and knowing me and Matt are over makes me wonder if I ever will.
Today is going to be the hardest day for them and I am determined to make sure everything runs like clockwork for them and James. It’s the day of the funeral, saying goodbye for the last time is never easy. Brad is tense and I can tell he’s only just holding it together.
“Brad do you want a drink?” I ask placing my hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“I’m fine thanks.” He replies reaching up, he pats my hand.
“We have to leave for the service soon.” I say softly.
“I know.” He replies his hand dropping from mine. I turn leaving him to his thoughts and go to wait for the cars to arrive.
The car’s pull up and I open the door to acknowledge them, turning I see Mellonie and Brad walking towards me Kenzie is nestled in his arms.
“The cars are here whenever you’re ready.” I say. Mellonie walks past me giving my hand a squeeze followed by Brad.
I lock the door behind them and follow them to the car that is taking us to the church for the service. It’s hard to watch a family that you are so close to hurt so much. We make our way into the church and I take a seat behind Brad, next to him is Claire who is now holding Kenzie.
“Are you okay?” I ask leaning forward in my seat. He nod’s and I sit back in my seat.
Listening to the service is so hard. I have tears in my eyes for the loss of James and the hurt I see in his family. Today brings back all my feelings of loss from my Mum, Dad and Nana to Matt, I know he hasn’t died, but I’ve lost him all the same and I feel like I am grieving for us and our lost relationship.
After the service I leave Brad with his family and busy myself with checking the wake is all set up perfectly and settling invoices for today. I know I need to face going home soon and face the fact that me and Matt are over but right now I want to push it all to one side and be who the Mathias’s need me to be.
I catch Brad on his own outside looking lost.
“Hey,” I say as I approach him. “Everything is in place and I have settled the invoices for the caterers and the hall.” I tell him. “I’m going to slip away and get my bags from your house and head home.” I add as he nods.
“Thanks again for everything we could not have got through this week without you.” He squeezes my hand. “I will be back in the office tomorrow and w
e can sit down and sort out rearranging my meetings.” He says as he lets go of my hand.
“We can sort everything this week don’t worry about that and call me if you need anything.” He hugs me and I turn to leave spotting Parker on the way out.
“Are you leaving?” He asks and I nod. “Come on I will drive you, where are you going?”
“I’m going to Brad’s to get my things then I’m going home, but I can get a taxi.” I tell him smiling.
“Nonsense come on I was heading off anyway.” He walks me to the car and drives us to Brad’s waiting while I grab my bag.
“Are you okay. I know it’s a sad time, but you don’t seem yourself.” He questions glancing across at me. Here it is the chance to say it out loud but saying it out loud makes it more real, so I blink back tears and smile.
“Yes, it just brings back memories that’s all.” I reassure him and he seems placated. He tells me about the holiday has got booked to Italy and I sit and listen until we pull up at my building. I thank him for the lift and climb out grabbing my bag from the boot I wave before heading inside and taking the lift to my floor.
As soon as I step into the apartment it feels cold and I know he’s not home. I take my bag to the bedroom and I see his wardrobe door open. My bag slips from my fingers as I walk slowly over until I can see around the door, it’s almost empty, nearly all his clothes are gone. As sobs escapes from my throat I back up to the bed, crying myself to sleep.
Brad is already in the office when I arrive and after placing my bags on my desk. I make us both a coffee setting mine on my desk I take his into him.
“You’re early.” I say setting his coffee down as he looks up.
“I didn’t hear you come in.” He takes a drink of coffee setting it back down. “I thought after a week out of here my desk would be overflowing, but it’s not.” He adds leaning back in his chair.
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