Love Me (The Trust Me Series Book 2)

by K E Osborn

  “What was that?” I whisper.

  He shakes his head infinitesimally. “What do you mean?”

  “What was that? We’ve never done that before. It felt… aggressive, Aiden.”

  He frowns as he inhales sharply, then I see recognition on his face. He’s realized what just happened between us. “I don’t… I don’t know what came over me. I was thinking about my father and the baby… and… fuck! I did hurt you, didn’t I?” His eyes fill with instant regret as they glisten like the weight of this is hitting him. “You didn’t even orgasm, Jeni.” He swipes his fingers through his wet hair.

  The thought of him shedding any tears is unbearable. “You didn’t hurt me. I was just shocked. When we have sex, all I ever feel from you is love, but this time, it felt like you were punishing me.”

  “I can’t believe I did that. I never want you to feel anything but love from me, Jeni. I’m sorry. So, so, sorry.” I watch his rising panic as he starts to pace back and forth. Panic ripples through his features as his body shudders.

  Maybe his father’s getting to him more than I realized. I pull him to me and hold him while he grips onto me tighter than I’ve ever felt from him before.

  “Don’t leave me. I love you, Jeni. Too much for you to leave me. I won’t survive it,” he begs. The muffled sounds of his voice against my shoulder make me wince.

  “Aiden, I’m not going to leave you. I would never leave you over you having a fully deserved meltdown. But it might be a good idea to take your anger out on a wall rather than me in the future?” I give him a huge smile.

  He holds onto me tightly, almost too much. I move my hands to his head and angle him so he’s looking at me. His eyes are glassy with unshed tears. I lean in and kiss him softly. Slowly, he eases his grasp on me and lets me go.

  I move him back so the water from the showerhead flows between us. “Are you all right now?” I ask cautiously.

  He takes my hand in his, pulling me to him. “I can’t believe I was rough with you when I should’ve been gentle after everything you’ve been through. I wanted our first time after… to be loving. Not, this.”

  “You didn’t hurt me. It was just a shock. That’s all,” I say, trying to reassure him, but his head is hanging low.

  “Fuck! I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

  “We’ve had a rough night, the both of us. Hell, we’ve had a tough couple of weeks. I think it’s okay for us to lose our shit… just not at each other.”

  He grazes my hand with his lips, and I know he’s back to normal.

  We wash each other in the shower, and then he dries me. We make our way back to the bedroom and slide under the covers. Without saying a word, I move in and rest my head on his chest.

  Aiden takes my hand and wraps his other one around me, holding me tightly.

  Aiden’s playing with my hair as I open my eyes to the bright new day. “Morning, beautiful,” he whispers, then his lips graze my forehead.

  I raise my head from his chest, and he leans in kissing me softly and slowly.

  This is more like the Aiden I know and love.

  His lips part from mine. “I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what happened. I do know it will never happen again.”

  I exhale. “You let your anger get the better of you. It’s healthy to get angry, but it’s not so healthy to take it out on the one you love.”

  “I know. I hope you can forgive me?”

  “Of course. There’s nothing to forgive, but I am worried about you. Have you made that appointment to speak to someone about being locked up yet?”

  Suddenly, my phone rings, breaking our conversation, so I reach for it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, Jen, hope I didn’t wake you?” Sarah asks on the other end of the line.

  “No, it’s cool. We’re up.”

  “What are you guys up to tonight?”

  I glance at Aiden. “I don’t think we have anything planned. Why?”

  “Cool. Would you both want to go out for dinner and a movie?”

  “Dinner and a movie?” I ask, looking at Aiden for confirmation. He smiles. “Sure, sounds great. What time?”

  “If you guys want to come ‘round say five-ish. Then we can go together.”

  “Looking forward to seeing you.”

  “Me, too.”

  I end the call and look over at Aiden who’s relaxing in bed with his eyes closed. I move to kiss him, and he responds quickly, moving his head to meet mine. Aiden kisses me passionately, and with that, the memory of last night’s Aiden is quickly forgotten when he seduces me in his usual style.

  Making my way to the ensuite, I turn on the hot water and step in to have a quick shower. Moving back to the bedroom, Aiden’s sitting on the bed reading a book and eating an apple. He places his book down next to him and looks at me intently while I get dressed.

  “You’re a pervert.” I giggle as he watches me.

  “I might be a pervert, but I only have eyes for you.”

  I reach his side of the bed, feeling somewhat happier than the last few days.

  He grabs me around my hips and pulls me onto the bed so I fall over his lap, face first, and then he slaps me on the ass.

  “Aiden,” I yell out while he holds on to me. He doesn’t let go, and I hear him chuckling under his breath as I fumble, trying to get up.

  Suddenly, a wave of panic hits me, my heart starts to race in my chest as I breathe in and out quickly.

  Why won’t he let me up?

  Is he trying to control me like Jason?

  I know the thoughts are unreasonable, but I can’t control them after what happened last night.

  “Aiden!” I scream, my voice hoarse and full of tension.

  He lets me go instantly. “What’s wrong?”

  “Why did you hold me down?” I state angrily and then push his shoulder forcefully.

  “I thought we were goofing around.” His forehead creases.

  “I’m not something you can be aggressive and controlling with.”

  “Jeni, I wasn’t being aggressive or controlling. I thought we were playing around. What the hell’s going on?” His eyes are full of hurt.

  “You’re just like him, thinking you can hold me down and show me who’s boss. I won’t go through another relationship like that. I just won’t!” I stand and straighten myself out, storming to the living room, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly emotional like I’m trying my hardest to keep my shit together and having no idea why I am feeling this way.

  Aiden races out of the bedroom after me. “Jeni, don’t you walk away from me. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

  I can’t face him.

  I turn my back to him and hang my head low.

  Aiden grabs my shoulders and spins me around. “Jeni, what did I do? Why are you angry with me?”

  I huff. That’s the only answer I can come up with.

  Because he didn’t do anything inappropriate.

  I’ve overreacted.

  I know he was goofing around, but I can’t help but feel scared.

  Scared of him? No!

  I guess in the back of my mind, I’m scared of who he might become.

  Shit! This isn’t good.

  I’m so totally messed up!

  Too much has happened, and I need to get my head on right. This is not his fault, and I know it.

  “Jenifer, talk to me,” Aiden pleads as he bends down to look at me while I swallow hard. He holds me tighter, shaking me a little. I squirm under his grasp, and he lets go instantly.

  “Are you scared of me?” The hurt in his tone seeps through in waves.

  I don’t say anything as I try to think of the appropriate answer because I know this goes back to Jason’s controlling ways, of which Aiden has no idea about.

  “Jesus Christ!” He backs away from me, his brow furrows at the realization that there might actually be a real problem here.

  I shake my head as guilt floods through me. “
No, of course, I’m not scared of you.” I take a step toward Aiden, trying to pacify him.

  He takes another step back as his eyes narrow and glisten. “I’d never hurt you! Ever! You’re my… everything. There’s nothing in this world that’s more important to me. Nothing, Jeni.”

  “I know,” I plead.

  “Then why the hell are you scared of me?”

  “I don’t know. I mean… I mean, I’m not scared of you.”

  “Then what the fuck is going on here?” He raises his hands in the air in frustration.

  “It’s just, last night, in the shower reminded me of Jason, and that terrifies me.”

  The hurt in his expression makes my chest squeeze. Aiden takes a deep breath and walks into the bedroom leaving me alone in the living room.

  I shake my head, confused.

  What just happened?

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  Why did I say that to him?

  I’ve hurt him deeply, so I walk into the bedroom to see him getting dressed.

  “Aiden?”

  Ignoring me, he continues his task at hand which sets alarm bells ringing instantly, scaring the hell out of me. “Aiden, look at me.”

  He stops, exhales, and turns to face me.

  “I love you,” I tell him honestly.

  His face crinkles while he pulls a shirt over his head. “You can’t love someone and be afraid of them, Jeni.” He walks straight past me to the living room.

  My throat constricts as guilt floods through me, and I begin to panic. “But I do, so much. You have to know that,” I plead with him.

  He makes his way to the elevator, pushing the button.

  “Aiden, please!” I reach out to take his arm, but he shakes my hand free. The elevator doors open, and he storms in. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. Please don’t leave me,” I beg. Tears well in my eyes as the doors of the elevator close taking him with them. “Aiden!” I yell, thumping my fist into the closed elevator door.

  And just like that, my man is gone.

  It’s getting late in the afternoon, and Aiden’s been gone for nearly two hours. I sit on the sofa staring at the elevator doors, waiting for him to come home to me. I’ve tried calling him, twenty-four times to be exact, but he keeps ignoring me. I feel like a stalker. I’ve screwed up, and I know it. Now he’s going to leave me.

  They say couples who experience miscarriages are more likely to split. I feel empty, like a part of me is dying and only he can bring me back to life.

  But will he even want me anymore?

  I can’t stand the thought of being without him. I don’t know if I could even survive if he left me. I take my eyes off the elevator and look down at my hands in my lap. My tear-soaked face feels horrible, and my eyes are sore from the number of tears I’ve shed. I head to the bathroom to wash my face. Looking in the mirror, my blotchy red skin is completely overwhelmed with sadness. Exhaling, I turn on the cold water, splashing my face. The coldness of the liquid does nothing to quell the fire of sadness burning in my heart.

  The elevator chimes, making my pulse quicken, so I rush to dry my face with the hand towel.

  “Jeni?” Aiden calls out. “She’s left me,” he mumbles under his breath.

  I hang the towel. “I’m in here,” I reply and rush into the bedroom.

  “Oh, thank God.” Aiden hurries to me, goes to wrap his arms around me for a hug, but then he backs away like he’s afraid of my reaction. So, I move in to hug him instead. He inhales sharply, hesitating to hold me, and it breaks my fucking heart.

  “Hold me,” I ask softly.

  His arms wrap around me, and his head falls to my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I know what happened last night was… well, it wasn’t me. I let anger gain control, and it’ll never, ever happen again. I can promise you that unequivocally.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry, too.”

  “You’ve nothing to be sorry for. I needed to clear my head. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. It was unfair to you. I can’t believe what I did last night, and I’m going to make it up to you. I know you have issues from your past that we need to discuss, and that more importantly, things are strained with my father, and I know you’re tolerating him for my sake.” I pull back from him, still in his arms, so I can see his face. “I’ve been thinking, though. What did you mean when you said that Jason held you down and showed you who was boss?” he asks.

  I guess now’s the time Aiden knows about my past. “I know I haven’t told you much about Jason, and there are a couple of reasons for that. One, because he’s not worth talking about, and two, because I know it’ll make you angry to hear how he treated me.”

  “Jeni, if it helps me to understand your fears, then maybe it’s time I know more about your ex.” He takes my hand.

  I nod and inhale sharply. “Jason, as you know, was controlling. He was strict with me and what I was allowed to do. If I did something that wasn’t what he deemed to be right, he would yell, belittle me, throw things at me, and even, on occasion, raise his fists and hit me. He was scary most of the time and out of control…” I tense a little with the returning memories. “He always had this crazy look in his eye just before he would snap. I’ll never forget it…” A shiver runs down my spine as a memory of his face and that exact look flashes through my mind.

  “I knew he was draining my confidence, and in the end, I’d let him hold me down and do whatever he wanted because that was easier than fighting him off. If he wanted to hurt me, he could, easily. And he did, often…” I shake my head. “He made me believe that no one in the world would want me. That I was pathetic, useless, and a waste of space. So, when he would demand that I do something for him, I did it because I thought no one in the world wanted me but him. I thought that was what relationships were like.”

  I turn up my lip in a half-smile. “Annie having an affair with Jason was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. She saved me from a lifetime of torment with him...” I let out a long, drawn-out exhale. “I only hope she isn’t going through the same abuse I went through. Aiden, I just wasn’t strong enough to leave him.”

  Looking at me, he shakes his head as his face turns a bright shade of red. “I can’t believe he did that to you, Jeni. I had no idea. I knew he wasn’t great partner material from the few things you’ve said about him, but I never expected that.” A vein pulses in his neck as he exhales like he’s trying to calm down. “I’m so fucking furious right now. I swear to God, if I ever get to lay my hands on that bastard, I probably won’t be able to stop myself.” He clenches his fists as his breathing becomes harsh.

  And this right here is why I didn’t want to tell him.

  I take his fists, unclench them, and thread my fingers through his. He relaxes and looks into my eyes. His breathing’s heavy like he’s about to combust as I kiss each hand.

  “Aiden, it’s all right. That part of my life is over.”

  He looks down like he’s ashamed. “I wish I knew you then, so I could have helped you. And just so you know, I’ll never treat you the way that fucking prick treated you. Ever. It’s not in me to be that way. Yes, I like to have control, but I wouldn’t… no, I couldn’t… ever go to that extreme.”

  “Where did you go, just now?”

  “Not far, down to the parking garage. I sat in my car the whole time. I couldn’t actually leave.”

  I half-smile. “I waited on the sofa staring at the elevator, hoping you’d come home.”

  “I shouldn’t have left. I needed to wrap my head around what you said. But you’ve no need to be scared of me because that guy, that angry guy, he’s never coming back. You don’t have to be scared, ever again.”

  “Good. I’m glad. Would you like me to call Sarah and cancel tonight?”

  He shakes his head. “It’ll be good to get out of the apartment for a while. Unless, of course, you want to cancel?”

  “No, it’s a good idea, but I better go and put on some makeup to cover the puffy red eyes.” I
laugh.

  “Let’s forget about it and have a good night out with our friends.”

  Not long later, I’m ready, and we head off for the evening. We pull the Aston Martin into the driveway and walk to Sarah’s front door. I hear music blaring and giggle to myself at the memories of what that usually means. I ring the doorbell. Even though I have a key, I don’t want to walk in, in case they’re occupied.

  Chris eventually answers the door, wearing jeans, a black T-shirt, and a leather jacket. He looks amazing.

  “Hey, man.” The guys knock their knuckles together.

  I laugh at them—typical males. I continue down the hallway to Sarah who’s in the kitchen and lunge, catching her unaware as I grab her in a tight bear hug.

  “Jeni, you’re kinda squishing me.”

  I let her go as Aiden and Chris walk in.

  “Where are we going for dinner?” Aiden asks.

  Sarah looks at me and I at her. “Vinchenzo’s!” we both say in unison.

  Chris groans audibly. “Do we really have to go to my work?”

  “Yes,” we both gush.

  “Whatever,” Chris mumbles, rolling his eyes in defeat.

  “Aiden’s never been. We have to pop his Vinchenzo’s cherry.”

  “Oh my God, Sarah,” I state while the guys laugh at her innuendo.

  We make our way to Chris’ car, guys in the front, girls in the back. Chris turns over the ignition, and we start to drive to Vinchenzo’s.

  We enter the small restaurant, and Chris walks over to the girl at the counter. We stand back and let him work his magic.

  “This way, guys.” He leads us to a booth right at the back.

  “Do you like working here?” Aiden asks.

  “Guess I’d better say yes in case the boss is listening,” Chris jokes.

  “Here you go, Chris.” The waitress hands him the menus while flirting with him.

  “Thanks, Jess.” He takes the menus, and she saunters away.

  “Who’s that, Chris?” Sarah asks, trying not to sound jealous, but the intent is definitely there.

  “Who? Jess? Oh… no one. She’s new. I think she has a crush on me.”