Garden of Hope

by Daphne Bloom

  “That sounds dangerous,” Elise says. “You must have been very brave.”

  “Oh, no,” I say. “It was quite safe. I had a wonderful guide who traveled with me. A local Indian man. Very knowledgeable about the area. It gave me a chance to see a side of India most other people don’t, one unmarred by foreign influence.”

  I look over and see that Lily has lifted her head a little and is listening intently. But when she sees that I’m looking at her, she quickly drops her head again.

  “Tell me about your flowers, Lily,” I say. “The Indian orchids.” Someone at the other end of the table drops a fork.

  Lily’s head pops up and she smiles for the first time. Her eyes nearly glisten with joy.

  “I think orchids are simply the most beautiful flowers of all,” she says. “They come in hundreds of varieties and countless colors. You can coax them into interbreeding to create all sorts of new versions, like a pink orchid and a white orchid can create a white orchid with pink spots, or pink stripes, or a pink flower with white designs. It’s always a surprise.”

  I smile and nod as I eat and listen to her talk. It’s quite relaxing, really. Usually girls are so eager to impress they want me to do all the talking so they can then pretend to be interested in whatever I have to say. It’s refreshing to meet a girl with her own interests. And her voice is pleasant to the ear as well. The awkwardness she exhibited before seems to melt away a bit as well.

  I’m nodding along as she tells me about the few varieties of India orchids she has managed to procure when Elise interrupts.

  “That’s quite enough, Lily,” she says. The smile runs from Lily’s face and she’s instantly back to her quiet, awkward self with her head bowed. She takes a bite of cake without raising her head.

  “It’s fine,” I say. “It was all rather interesting. I saw many flowers in India that I never had seen in England. I’m beginning to wish I’d paid more attention to them now.”

  “Lily is quite knowledgeable about all plants,” Constance says. “But she can get a bit carried away when she starts talking about them.”

  “I truly don’t mind,” I say, and I look to Lily, wanting to give her a reassuring smile, but she still refuses to look up. Rashi chooses that moment to leap up onto the table, looking for a treat. Constance screams while a footman rushes over to try and shoo him away. Lily is giggling behind her hands.

  “It’s all right!” I say to calm everyone and protect Rashi from being harmed. “He’s with me.”

  “What is it?” Lily asks.

  “A squirrel,” I say, “though not one you would find around here.”

  Lily clicks her tongue and Rashi steps cautiously toward her across the table. From nose to tail, he’s three feet long. Lily reaches up and pats Rashi on his golden head. His back a cherrywood red that extends down his tail that then slowly tapers into a golden tip. He’s a truly beautiful creature.

  “He’s from India?” Lily asks, and I nod. “Maybe he would like to see my orchids.” I chuckle.

  “Perhaps they will remind him of home,” I say. I dare glance down the table to see Alice and George trying not to burst into cheers of success. Rashi finally has enough attention and grabs the bread from a small sandwich before running back into the bushes.

  “Yes, well,” George says, “he hardly belongs on a tea table.”

  “I apologize, Lady Brunswick,” I say. She waves my apology away with her napkin.

  “How are your parents, Constance?” Alice asks, changing the topic. “I heard your father was ill.”

  “Yes, he is, sadly,” Elise says. “And Mother is with him. She wanted to come to London to support Lily, but someone had to stay with Father.”

  “What seems to be the trouble?” George asks. “I do hope he will recover.”

  “We aren’t sure exactly what happened,” Constance says. “He was alone when he lost consciousness. But the doctors…”

  I hear a sniffling and look at Lily. Her head is still bowed, but it is clear she’s crying.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Lily,” I say. “I do hope he recovers.”

  She lets out a loud sob and then stands up from her seat, the chair toppling backward. I stand as well, though not as quickly, and she rushes past me, through the garden to the greenhouse, slamming the door behind her. A footman moves to set the chair back upright. I look back to the group to try and decide what to do. Should I go after her? I see Constance and Elise share a look that they only understand.

  “She’ll be all right,” Elise says. “She’s just taking it a bit hard, being the youngest. But we are sure that Papa will make a full recovery.”

  I nod and sit back down, though my appetite has quite fled. Elise and Alice then begin talking about some of the other events they will be attending this week and comparing their schedules. I tune them out as I don’t care a fig for it.

  The rest of the meal passes, but as we stand to leave and make our goodbyes, I’m eager to say goodbye to Lily, to let her know just how much I enjoyed her company and offer her my condolences once again, but she has not emerged from the greenhouse. As much as I wish to speak to her again, I don’t mention her absence to her sisters. The last thing I want to do is for them to drag her back out and make things even more awkward to the poor girl. I’m sure I’ll have another chance to see her again soon.

  Chapter Seven

  Lily

  “Lily, you look so beautiful in pink,” Elise says from her seat on the settee. The baby—and her stomach—seems to be growing larger every day and it is hard for her to stand for very long. The shop owner, Madam Duloc, drapes the pink fabric over my shoulder so I can see how it looks in the mirror.

  “What do you think?” she asks eagerly.

  “It’s pretty,” I say.

  “Merely pretty?” Constance asks as though she is personally offended. “It perfectly matches your skin, and the gold threading is such a lovely contrast.”

  “It goes well with your hair,” Elise says.

  “Indeed,” Constance says. “She’ll have one dress made with this fabric, and another with the blue we picked earlier.”

  “Of course,” Madam Duloc says, motioning to her assistant, who is taking down notes. “And matching hats, of course?”

  “Of course,” Constance says with a nod.

  “Certainly. Please wait here, ladies, while I put together some sketches and find the perfect accent fabrics.”

  I groan as I sit in a chair while Constance sits next to Elise and Abigail, who has accompanied us, pours tea. I glance to the door and the sunshine outside, my fingers itching to be back home in the terrace garden. It’s not the same as my gardens back home, but it is better than nothing.

  My sisters decided I needed new dresses for some of the coming events. I suppose they must be right. I didn’t attend the Season last year, or the year before, so my wardrobe is a bit limited and probably out of fashion. If it were up to me, though, I would not be so wasteful with money. Why can’t I wear the same dresses multiple times? I’d rather spend money on some simple, practical dresses, aprons, and gloves for gardening. I’d use them much more than a fancy ballgown.

  “Lily.”

  I look and see that Elise has addressed me. “Hmm?”

  “I asked what you thought of Henry Pembroke.”

  “Oh. He’s fine, I suppose.”

  “I wish Alice had told me that he was lame before I agreed to host him for lunch,” Constance says before sipping her tea.

  “Why?” I ask.

  Constance snorts. “You can do better.”

  I feel my cheeks go hot. In truth, I rather liked Henry. He was very polite and listened intently when I was telling him about my orchids. I’m not sure why Elise stopped me from telling him about them. I don’t think I said anything inappropriate, and Henry didn’t seem bored or annoyed. But I’ve never been good about reading people. Mama always said I was far too trusting. Perhaps he was only humoring me and Elise did me a favor by stopping me.
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  “Oh, I don’t know,” Elise says. “He was injured while in the military. That’s quite honorable. And I’m sure it makes him a bit more attainable for someone like Lily. He can’t be too picky.”

  I feel my eyes water at this and look away. I have no wish to marry, but if I must, I would hate to be someone’s last choice. A desperate choice. I would need someone very patient and kind. I can’t imagine that a man marrying me out of desperation would have much patience for my oddities.

  In truth, it terrifies me, the thought of ending up with a cruel man. I’m not sure how I could bear it. I certainly wouldn’t want to have children with a wicked man. I shudder as I think about Cousin Albert. True, he’s never said an unkind word to me, but I suppose he wouldn’t or Papa would box his ears. But whenever I am in his presence, I feel afraid. My sisters have never said they fear him, but I do know that they don’t like him either.

  “Lily, what’s wrong?” Constance asks. I can’t stop a few tears from escaping.

  “I don’t want to marry a cruel man.”

  “What?” Constance asks, scooting forward and taking my hand. “Why would you think that? Of course you won’t. That’s why we are here, to protect you.”

  “But you want to marry me to whoever will have me,” I say. “Someone who just wants my money.” Constance doesn’t say anything as she glances at Elise.

  “Well, your options are limited, darling,” Elise says. “You need a husband fast, should Papa not recover. I doubt you will be able to fall in love with someone in the few weeks left of the Season, but I’m sure we can find you someone who is at least amiable. Friendly. Perhaps love will grow later.”

  “You married for love,” I say to Elise, and she presses her lips. “And I know you love Jameson,” I say to Constance. “Should I be forced to settle for less just because I’m different?”

  My sisters sit back in their seats, I suppose to consider their reply, giving each other looks I can’t interpret.

  “It isn’t because you are odd, Lily,” Constance finally says, “but because Papa fell ill. If he hadn’t, we wouldn’t be here pushing you to marry. Mama didn’t make you attend last Season, did she? She’s been very patient until now. As it is…you need your money just as much as any treasure hunter, and the only way to get it is to marry—now.”

  I wipe the tears from my cheeks. There is some truth to her words, I suppose. Though if I weren’t odd I’d surely be married by now. My sisters both found husbands during their first Seasons. I attended two Seasons and didn’t meet anyone or receive a single proposal. I simply stopped attending after that. It seemed rather pointless, and not a little humiliating.

  Elise groans and shifts her position. “It’s impossible to ever be comfortable while pregnant.”

  “Are you sure it’s not twins?” Constance says with a false smile as she helps adjust a pillow behind Elise’s back.

  “Wouldn’t that be terrible,” Elise says.

  The bell above the door jingles and I see Alice, Henry Pembroke’s sister-in-law, walk in, along with her maid and small dog. I turn away, hoping she doesn’t see me.

  “Alice!” Elise says with a wave. “Join us.”

  Alice walks over and sits in a nearby chair, placing her little dog on the floor. The dog runs over to me and starts jumping on its hind legs. I reach out and pet the dear thing. Next to plants, animals are the best companions. They never judge. Henry’s squirrel was quite lovely. I wonder if I could procure one of my own.

  “We were just talking about you,” Constance says.

  “Really?” Alice replies, looking at me with a smile. “Whatever for?”

  “Well, not you exactly,” Constance explains. “But your brother-in-law.”

  “I thought as much.”

  “Did Henry say anything about Lily later?”

  “Henry never says much about anything,” Alice says. “But I must say that he certainly seemed to enjoy the visit far more than any of us thought he would. He was rather pleasant, wasn’t he?”

  “He did smile at Lily quite a bit,” Elise says. My cheeks go hot and I look down at the little dog, who has managed to climb into my lap.

  “Well, we mustn’t push him too quickly,” Alice says. “We wouldn’t want to scare him off.”

  “I must find a husband quickly,” I mutter. “I need the money.”

  I hear Elise exhale a weird sound and realize I just said something terrible. I wish I could run away to my garden, but I’m stuck here.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Alice says. “Is your father very unwell?”

  “I just received a letter from Mama,” Constance says. “She says Papa is awake and able to take broth, which is wonderful. I’m sure he will recover in time. He’s always been a strong man.”

  “I’m sure he will,” Alice says. “And if that is the case, perhaps a long courtship wouldn’t be out of the question.”

  “Maybe I won’t have to marry at all,” I say to the little dog. “I can live in a cottage in my garden and get a sweet little pet like you or Rashi.”

  “Does she not wish to marry?” Alice whispers, but I can still hear her.

  “She’s worried about making a poor choice,” Elise whispers back. “You know, being swept off her feet only to learn the man is unkind.”

  “Oh!” Alice says in a normal voice. “Of course! Oh, Lily, everyone worries about that. Men are always on their best behavior during the Season and while courting. It can be hard to truly get to know a person when you are surrounded by friends and family constantly.”

  “Really?” I ask, looking up at Alice. I don’t know why, but I assumed that girls like my sisters, normal girls, didn’t worry about such things. That they could naturally read people in a way that eludes me.

  “Of course! But that is why you have people like your sisters around, to make gentle inquiries as to a man’s true nature.”

  “So…” Elise says. “Might I gently inquire about Henry? What sort of man is he?”

  Alice gives a sort of uncomfortable chuckle. “Well, before the accident, he was like any other man. Friendly, happy, outgoing. He was more interested in adventure than marriage though, which is why he joined the military and went to India.”

  “That is why he has a cane?” Constance says. “Because of an accident?”

  “Yes,” Alice says. “I’m not sure of the details. I don’t think even Henry remembers exactly what happened. He doesn’t like to speak of it. But there was some sort of fighting and an explosion, and he was so very far from any decent city. We are lucky he didn’t die lost in some wild jungle.”

  “That’s terrifying,” Elise says. Alice nods. “But what of his…prognosis? Is the cane a temporary assistant or…something more permanent?”

  “His doctor in Cornwall was optimistic at first that he would heal, but it has taken so long, I fear Henry sometimes loses hope. I’ve tried to encourage him to see doctors here in London and get another opinion, but…well, you know men. They never take care of themselves the way they should.”

  “Indeed,” Constance says. “I can’t help but wonder if Papa might have fared better had he been more routine with his doctor visits.”

  “I think a wife might be just the cure for Henry’s pessimistic outlook,” Alice goes on. “He thinks that, in his condition, no woman could truly love him.”

  “Well, the most eligible girls will look elsewhere,” Elise says, and I wrinkle my nose. I don’t know how she gets away with being so blunt while I am censured when I say what is on my mind. But I see Constance elbow Elise in the side. “Ouch. Well, it’s true! Girls with options won’t take the time to get to know him. They’ll see the cane and not the man.”

  “Unfortunately,” Alice says, “I think you are right, which is what contributes to his poor attitude. But the right girl will be able to look past that, don’t you think?”

  “I agree,” Constance says, then she looks at me. “What do you think, Lily? Could you look past Henry’s cane and get to know
him?”

  I shrug. The cane doesn’t bother me. Why should it? I’m different, so how can I judge someone else. But I think about the other descriptions Alice used of her brother-in-law. Pessimistic. Poor attitude. Hopeless. Not exactly the man I want to be bound to for the rest of my life. He didn’t seem that way when I spoke to him—quite the opposite actually. But as Alice said, men do put on a show when they are courting. Perhaps the kind and attentive man I met at tea is not the real Henry. I think I should be wary. I’m not sure why my sisters are so keen on the man if he’s such an unpleasant fellow. I thought they were supposed to help protect me. I’m sure they mean well, but perhaps they are far more invested in the prospect of seeing me married than they are of making sure the prospective husband is a good man.

  Oh, I don’t know what to think! My mind is spinning with thoughts and how I wish they would calm down. Breathing becomes more difficult and I feel terribly hot, like my brain has a fever. I need to get home, back to my garden.

  “Please,” I say to Constance, my eyes watering, “can we go?”

  “What about your dresses? What’s wrong?”

  “I can’t stay here,” I say, pushing the little dog aside and standing. “Please, let’s go home.”

  “Lily, are you all right?” Alice says as she stands as well, concern on her face.

  “She gets a little emotional sometimes,” Constance says. “A bit overwhelmed. She’ll be fine once she spends some quiet time alone.”

  “Oh… Of course,” Alice says, nodding, though still rather uncertain about what to say or do.

  “Can someone help me stand, please?” Elise says, holding her arms out. Constance laughs as she and Alice each take an arm and pull her up.

  “I’m just putting together the last accents,” Madam Duloc says, coming out of a back room.

  “I’m afraid we must go…” Constance starts to explain, but I can’t wait around. I have to get out of here.

  “I’ll help her, my lady,” Abigail says. She takes my hands, standing in front of me. “Just look at me, Lily, and take a slow, deep breath.”