Evolve Series (Complete Box Set)

by S. E. Hall

  “Oh,” is all I mutter.

  “I’m going out now. I’m not running, I just need some time to cool off. I know I hurt you, Emmett, and I’m so fucking sorry, but Goddamn if you didn’t just hurt me too.”

  I remain in place on the couch, dumbfounded and curled into myself under the blanket as he stomps around to gather clothes and whatever else he needs. The whole while he mumbles irritably to himself, a few times causing me to jolt when the mumbling turns to a harsher volume and ferocity. When his hand is on the doorknob, he takes one deep breath and turns back to me.

  “This is not me running,” he says again. “Okay,” I whisper and nod.

  BREAKFAST AT GRANNY’S

  I DRIVE AROUND ON MY BIKE aimlessly for a while, Christmas clearing the roads enough for me to gun it and avoid having to stop much. The briskness in the air whipping past me stings my exposed fingers, but does little to chill my temper. What a splendid fucking end to Christmas morning. I knew this holiday sucked. I thought she was back, exposed, that she’d finally realized we were meant to be and I never really “went” anywhere, but no. No, she wanted to come, missing the d, pregnant and horny.

  Had I been with anyone else? Jesus, how far removed was I, putting that possibility in her head? Yeah, Emmett, I fucked other women and slept in bed with you every night…really?

  My stomach’s growling, since breakfast was denied. What’s open on Christmas? I cruise through the streets of downtown until I find an open sign calling to me like a beacon and I pull over. Granny’s Kitchen—no fucking way. I’m not sure I believe in signs, but I believe in this one. I walk in and chuckle at the “Please Wait to be Seated” stand—I’m the only person in here.

  A smiling elderly woman, I’m guessing Granny in the flesh, greets me. “One?”

  “In all my glory.”

  “Follow me.” She shuffles, back bent with age, to a booth where she seats me. “What would you like to drink?”

  “Coffee and a water please. You have a big breakfast special?” There’s no way I’m making her walk back and forth to me, poor little thing, so I take a stab at an easy order.

  “We do.” She smiles and takes the menu I hold back out to her.

  “I’ll take that.” When she scoots away, I rest my elbows on the table, cradling my sagging head in my hands. Maybe I should’ve gone with it, Lord knows I’ve been dying to sink into her again, but something snapped and I simply couldn’t. I refuse, with all the meaningless dick dips I’ve had in my life, to cheapen what I found when I found Emmett. I told her once if she wanted my cock, I wanted her heart. I meant it.

  Granny’s back, so I’m forced to move my elbows for her to set down my drinks. “Alone on Christmas? Such a handsome young man?”

  “Such a foolish young man is more like it.” I shake my head at myself, giving her my best attempt at a grin. “I can’t get it right, Granny.”

  “You messed up with your young lady?”

  “Something like that. Then we decided to work it out, but it’s taking a while.” Why I’m telling her all this beats the shit outta me, but Granny’s got kind eyes with wrinkles around them that somehow let me know there’s nothing I could tell her she hasn’t heard or lived through before. “And then today, she—” I cut myself off before I go too far, debating making love versus fucking with a ninety-year-old stranger. “Nothing, never mind.”

  I can hear her sympathetic “tsk” as she goes to get my food. Back with my plate, which I have no idea who cooked, as I haven’t seen any trace of anyone else in this place, she doesn’t walk away. Drawn, I look up at her.

  “How much time did you waste messing up?” she asks pointedly.

  “A while,” I answer quickly. “Too long.”

  “And how much time have you spent making it right?”

  “Not as long I guess.”

  “Which do you think should take more time, bad acts or good ones? Earning trust seems more time-worthy than breaking it to me. What’s that they say, love is patient?” Damn right. Everybody needs a Granny so wise.

  THE GRUMBLE OF HIS BIKE pulling in the driveway wakes me from a nap; I take a lot of them these days. I’m surprised he’s back so soon. My proposition before had been stupid and hurtful. I wouldn’t have blamed him if it took a while to want to look at me again. I’m still sorting through the wake of feelings brought about by his rejection, never mind the fact that he turned down my baser need for something real. Right after I finished feeling like a shunned fool, my insides fluttered at the romanticism of it. He doesn’t want me unless he gets all of me—and from a sexual man like Sawyer, that speaks heavily on his intentions for our forever. A step in the right direction for sure. Doesn’t mean my body’s happy about it though.

  He’s at the bedroom door now. I don’t have to roll over to know, my heart rate accelerates and the backs of my knees get clammy anytime he’s near.

  “Dane and Laney are headed back,” he says evenly. “You up for going over there tonight?”

  “Sure.” I face him now, giving him a smile. I’m way ahead of him—Laney and I are very sneaky when we want to be.

  “You wanna talk?”

  I sit up, eager to hear what’s on his mind now that he’s calmed down. “Of course, if you do.”

  Taking a seat on the bed says that he does. He slouches, his forearms on his knees, hands clasped in between them. “Here’s where I think we’re at. You tell me if I’m wrong.” He takes a minute, tapping his thumbs together. “I love you. You love me…” He angles his head to me and pauses again.

  “Very much,” I confirm.

  The reassurance earns a brief, but unmistakable, lip quirk and relaxing of his shoulders. “We’re together, having a baby, but you’re afraid to go back to what we were until you’re positive I’m in it for the long haul.” Another glimpse to me for confirmation, at which I nod. “All right then. I’m moving in, officially.”

  He’s so cute, firm lip and challenging eyes at his “proclamation.” He already lives here, it’s really just semantics, but I go with it for him.

  “That makes sense,” I reply, keeping my face serious. “We’ll tell Laney tonight, or I can tell her, whichever.

  Not like she has to make up the rent,” he chuckles, “but still. I know Dane will worry about her being alone.”

  These domineering men of ours truly live under some cloud; Dane’s at Laney’s place more than he’s at his own. It’s laughable, but I don’t say anything. “Right,” I agree.

  “Now, about the lovin’.” He sighs, taking my hand and rubbing his thumb in my palm. “If you ever question my fidelity again, I’m gonna spank your ass, pregnant or not. You are mine and I am yours. I hope you like my cock, babe, ‘cause it’s the only one you’re ever getting for the rest of your life. And that sweet pussy of yours is the only one I want for as long as I live. But,” his grip on my hand tightens, “you can’t be thinking one thing while you’re with me and showing me another, Em. You wanna tell yourself you’re holding out, testing me or what the fuck ever is going on in that head of yours, fine, you do that. But you know as well as I do that it’s more than just scratching your itch. You want me because you love me and miss me, just like I do you, so when we’re together, be there with me, Emmy. Don’t let fear or ultimatums or girly stipulations get in between us when we make love.”

  It’s frightening how well he knows me; and he’s right. There is no way to be with him physically and still hold out mentally. I’m kidding myself and he just called a spade a spade. He sure can give a speech, and of course, I’m crying…cause that’s all I seem to do these days.

  “Hey now,” he scoots closer and lifts me into his lap, “no tears, Shorty, I wasn’t trying to be mean.” He lifts my chin and kisses my tears. “I love you, Emmett. I love that you challenge me and make me work for it. I love that you’re strong and capable, and that you always weigh the impact of your decisions against our baby’s future. But the absolute best thing you can give a child, I think, is two parent
s who love and respect each other and always work things out. I want Alex to know, hell, I want to know, that we’ll always be able to find our way back.”

  He talks so eloquently, every single word sincere and thought out. I want so badly to throw up my hands and surrender completely, turn off the intermingling voices in my head and free fall again. If we were just dating, I would, without a second thought. If it were just us, I would, right here and now. A torrid, spontaneous love affair with no sure ending, the heat felt by anyone near.

  But that’s not my story.

  WALK MY LINE

  “MERRY CHRISTMAS! We missed you guys!” Laney plows into us with a gripping embrace as we walk through the door at Dane’s house.

  “You too,” Emmett hugs her while I scoot around them, arms filled with packages. “How was your trip home? Your family?”

  I tune out the rest of their babbling, going in search of Dane and a beer, in either order, finding both in the kitchen. “Merry Christmas, brother.” I clap him on the shoulder and steal the fresh bottle out of his hand.

  “Merry Christmas, you have a good one?” he asks, going to the fridge to replace his beer.

  “Not bad.” I shrug. “Where’s everybody else?”

  “I don’t think any of them are back yet, but you’d have to ask the social director.”

  “Ask me what?” Gidge walks in, her arm laced through Emmett’s.

  “Anyone else coming tonight?” I ask her, but focus on Emmett, a sweet smile on her face, but her coloring a bit off.

  “No, they’re all still back home. Just us four tonight.” She shoots Emmett a knowing smirk.

  I pull out one of the barstools and pat it. “Come sit down, Shorty. You want something to drink, eat?”

  “Maybe a bite of something wouldn’t hurt,” she mumbles passively, taking the offered seat.

  “Emmett!” Laney buzzes to the fridge, slinging out trays to the island hurriedly. “You should have said something. We brought back food! Dear Lord, Dane, get her a drink. Some hosts we are, depriving the pregnant girl. Emmett. What do you want? We have juice, champagne, oh wait, never mind.”

  Oh yeah, Laney’s gonna need some work before she’s ever allowed to babysit. She gets flustered and it’s all out havoc—a complete one-woman circus.

  “Laney, I got it,” I step in, suppressing a laugh, “go sit down before you hurt somebody.”

  Emmett pats her hand, grinning. “Thank you, I’m fine really. A few bites of something to settle my stomach is all I need.”

  “Can I, uh, feel it?” Laney asks her in the most timid voice I think she’s capable of.

  “Of course.” Emmett sits forward, offering out her belly more. “I can’t promise you’ll get any action, though.” She giggles. “Usually if I eat some sugar and lie flat on my back, things get busy.”

  “Oh wait! I think I felt something!” Laney’s face lights up.

  “Trust me, Gidge, you’ll know it if you do.” I slide Emmett’s juice in front of her. “There ya go, babe.” I start removing tinfoil off platters. “Have a snack.”

  “Thank you,” she takes a sip then snags a cheese cracker. Dane’s silence is actually deafening, catching my attention. He’s watching Laney, like an eagle spots a rabbit, as she rubs Emmett’s belly, trying to coerce the baby to move.

  “I can’t believe we don’t know what we’re having. Do you know all the stuff we can’t buy because of that? Kick me once if you’re a girl,” Laney barters with the belly. “I really hope you’re a girl.”

  “That surprises me, Gidge. As big of a tomboy as you are I thought for sure you’d be rootin’ for a willie.”

  “That’s why I want a girl. I shall lavish her in all things princess, which I’d already be stocking up on if she’d kick my hand already,” she pouts.

  Dane still hasn’t spoken, fixated on Laney’s flash of maternal instinct. I decide to throw my man a bone. “So you want a girl then, when you have kids, Gidge?”

  “Oh gosh, yes, a girl and a boy. One of each would be perfect.”

  The girls show no signs of hearing Dane growl, but I heard it loud and clear. Laney’s right, he is a caveman. “Well, what if that doesn’t happen?”

  Emmett’s smirking at me now, totally on to my game.

  Laney shrugs and looks at Dane. “I guess we’ll keep trying. If we get a softball team before a son, I’m okay with that. You?”

  If I’ve ever known the correct answer to a question, it’s this one. He is so okay with that plan. My man is using every ounce of restraint he possesses not to jump across the island and attack her right now.

  “Yeah,” he takes a pull of his beer, eye fucking her over the bottle, “I’m okay with that.”

  One step toward her is all he gets before she stops him with a hand up. “Halt! We have company, Caveman.”

  Emmett’s head is jerking back and forth between them, her green eyes sparkling wide as she watches the show. She can’t hide her snicker when Dane audibly growls this time, winking promises of later at Laney.

  “Are we about ready to open presents? You had enough to eat, Emmett?” Laney changes the subject, saving us from a live porno viewing.

  “I’ve never had enough to eat, but yes, I’m good for now.” She struggles off her perch, legs nowhere near reaching the ground, sticking the landing before I scramble around to her.

  “I SURE AS HELL HOPE ya’ll deliver,” I say hours later. “No way is this all fitting in the car.” I take in all around me, Dane’s living room resembling a nursery more than the actual nursery.

  “Damn shame she didn’t know what you’re having so she could really shop,” Dane fires off dryly, giving Laney a wink. “We can bring it over later.”

  Emmett’s no longer gut sobbing, which started at present number two, but the sniffles still echo through the room every few seconds. Laney and Dane showered Alex in presents, everything from a high chair, which I’m pretty sure could’ve waited, to a crate of diapers.

  Obviously we hadn’t gotten them near as much, but they both seemed happy with what we had managed: some movies, a sweater and spa day certificate for Laney, City & Colour concert tickets and a handcrafted wooden guitar stand for Dane. I’d struck gold when Jack, who owns Jack’s Jukebox music store, needed his bike worked on and traded me the labor for Dane’s presents.

  But the gift of the night was Emmett’s surprise to me. Seems her and Laney were in cahoots to make it a Christmas I’d never forget. Don’t catch me lying, I debated crying like a girl, then had a Dane moment and had to force myself not to jump her after I opened it. The present in question is a large, framed picture of my Emmy, sheer white top opened down the front, hands cupping her stomach, head down, her dark hair falling over her face. A beautiful, amazing portrait of my girl and child, with the perfect layer of seduction, reminding me my woman’s in the picture too.

  Best gift I’ve ever received.

  Now that the room is in complete disarray and the girls are engrossed in chatter, Dane jerks his head for me to follow him. They don’t notice as we walk out and he leads me down to his rec room, heading behind the bar to pour us both a short stack of the good stuff.

  He raises his glass for a toast. “Another year.”

  “Here’s to it.” I clink my glass to his and sample a taste. “Thanks for all the baby stuff, man. You didn’t have to do all that.”

  He throws back his head and laughs. “Yes, I did. Laney was hell bent.” He punches my arm. “Kidding. I wanted to.” He eyes me and I know there’s more he wants to say. “We haven’t had a chance to really talk since I laid into ya that day. Where are you and Emmett at now? Better yet, where’s your head at?”

  Maybe I should get a fucking t-shirt made so everybody knows, all the time, where I’m at. Namely her.

  I take another drink, rolling the smooth whiskey over my tongue, luxuriating as it warms down my throat. “I love her. Honestly, between you and me?” He nods firmly and I rub my head nervously. “I’m scared shitless I won
’t be able to do right by them, to provide enough, but I’ll do whatever it takes. Before, what you said, that wasn’t it at all. I never didn’t want her, the baby, the whole thing—I just worry, ya know?”

  “Yeah, I know. So this is what you want, you’re sure?”

  “Completely.”

  “I thought so.” He sets down his glass and opens the drawer nearest him. “Merry Christmas, Sawyer.” He hands me an envelope. “Lord knows I don’t have much luck handing people envelopes, Laney in particular,” he grumbles, “so I’m warning ya, if you refuse it I may lose my shit.”

  I eye him questioningly, opening it up. It’s a thick document, folded in thirds, a million words covering the pages. “What is this?”

  “It’s a contract. Have someone neutral look over it for you, but in a nutshell, it’s The K.” His face is solemn as he sips his drink, leery of my reaction.

  “No,” I shake my head, “no fucking way, man.” I throw the papers on the bar and stand. “I can’t accept that. I can do this on my own. I don’t need handouts!” Anger, shame, embarrassment flood me at once, reminding me of what I already knew; I’m a never has been, biting off more than I can chew and everyone around me can see it. “What the hell, Dane? You don’t think I can take care of my family without goddamn charity? Thanks for the vote of confidence, man.”

  “Since I knew this is how you’d react, why don’t you sit the fuck down and let me explain before you go AWOL?”

  “I’ll stand.” I cross my arms and widen my stance, challenging him.

  “That contract appoints you 51% partner in The K, which you’ve more than earned. You run the place now, with little to no help from me, anyway. You keep doing what you’re doing and buy me out, at a very reasonable price, over time. Not charity, but a legitimate business deal. Just like Tate and the gym, this is not a handout, just a stepping stone that was due you anyway.”

  “Tate’s your brother.”

  “As are you,” he deadpans. “You know what I mean.”