Heart's Darkness

by H D A Roberts

  "Hey, stay out of there, you!" Kandi said, bounding down the stairs and shoving the door shut, "You want in there, you make an appointment!"

  "When all this is over, we are going to have a long talk about what constitutes the dignity of an Archon," Kron said, glaring at Kandi, who darted behind my back to cower (sensible girl).

  "Matty, why do you smell so nice?" Kandi asked.

  Bugger...

  Alright, so there were a few messes to clean up...

  My staff got the muck on the lawn cleaned up quickly enough, and Killian called in the real SCA to get rid of the bodies. That was the easy part. The parts involving prying secrets from people pretending to work for my government... that was going to be ugly, and I was in no fit state for it.

  So, as soon as I was confident that they had everything they needed, I returned to my room. I needed to lie down, throw up and check on Mary (not necessarily in that order). I found my housemate playing cards with Tethys, who in turn had to be restrained before she could do some unseemly things to me. The odd thing was that she... she wasn't doing it right, if that makes sense. It was like she was trying too hard. And I remembered that she only became amorous after I'd told her about the musk... but that was a problem for later.

  Demise Portalled Mary back to Naiad Hall, and she promised to visit again in a couple of days, which was rather decent of her, bearing in mind how well that visit had gone.

  The interrogations, I was told, were not pleasant.

  Mostly they involved Kron drilling into the minds of the invaders, and being none too gentle about it, either.

  I wasn't there. It was a combination of cowardice and the simple fact that as soon as I got back to bed, and the adrenaline wore off, I was struck by a wave of stomach cramps and nausea sufficient to keep me quite supine for a while. And from there it got worse, much worse. As Sunday progressed, the aches in my muscles and head became shooting, then stabbing, pains, and I didn't have the Magic to numb it away.

  Hopkins came in about dinner time to find me sweating and shaking, my head on fire and my muscles aching like hell. The Pixies had been in and out, and Cassandra hadn't been far away since the battle had ended. She'd even helped me into the bathroom, which was so far above and beyond the call of duty, she deserved a medal.

  Cassandra had also decided that it was up to her to keep Tethys, Kandi and Demise away. The musk, plus my condition, would not make for a pleasant encounter. Cassandra was immune, though, as she didn't think of me in any sort of non-platonic way, not even a little, thank goodness (and neither did Mary, I noticed; she thought I smelt nice, but felt no other urges... damn it).

  "Well, things aren't looking good," Hopkins said as she sat on the bed next to me.

  "Huh?" I managed articulately.

  "You seem to be rather in the crap, no doubt about it."

  "So what else is new?"

  "What's new is that now you've managed to piss off so many people that they've started working together."

  I sat up (somehow) and rubbed my eyes.

  "Come again?" I said.

  "Some of this is conjecture, but it looks like Solomon has been watching you, and he's also been following you around, picking up the pieces you dropped. Braak and his SCA credentials, Thornsby and his mercenaries, the Witches, the Duellists, that professor that loathes you, Faust and his contacts.... At least there you came up lucky, Jocelyn mostly took those and ran for the hills when she found out who you were."

  "So she's safe? She's alright?"

  Hopkins smiled, "Yes, she's fine. But I think she's not too keen on you at the moment, and... and it looks like she was a plant... for Aiden Foltre."

  "Foltre? The Primus, Foltre?" I asked, "What did I do to him?! And Jocelyn was a what?!"

  He was the Magical equivalent of the Prime Minister. He was not a big fan of mine, true, but this was ridiculous.

  She sighed and took my hand, "I have no doubt that she had real feelings for you, in her own way, but she is a Faust, Mathew. She's ambitious. What we're getting, is that her grandfather spoke to the Primus, and then Foltre spoke to her. I'm confident that she didn't know that she was ultimately working for her grandfather, she was just reporting on you to what she thought was her own government."

  I didn't know what to say.

  "Was it all a lie?" I asked softly.

  "I don't know. She may have been recruited after she started seeing you. There's no way to know without asking her, and no way to guarantee the truth without... taking steps. Is that what you want?"

  I sighed, and shook my head.

  She carried on.

  "We aren't sure about this part, but we think that when she found out who you really were, who she was spying on, she panicked and told Foltre where he could stick it before running for the first flight out of the country. We think that this attack was a last ditch effort to get you to reverse what you did to Faust before the girl's knowledge of who you are becomes public, and you become untouchable."

  "That's complete madness!"

  "Yes. And they worked with Solomon to get you while you were weakest, using his knowledge of your comings and goings to set up the perfect raid. They just didn't know about Demise and your book, thank God."

  I didn't know what to say. Jocelyn... again?! Solomon making alliances with my enemies? The government wanting me captured...

  "And where was Solomon during the attack?" I asked, trying to focus, and not spiral.

  "Waiting for them to drag you out, we presume. Kron found traces of him on the roof opposite. He'd have swooped in while you were disabled; at least, that's what we think. They wanted you alive; he wants you dead, in the worst way."

  "I can't believe Jocelyn..." I started, but couldn't finish. Just the thought was exhausting.

  "Try not to be too hard on her. She tried to do the right thing."

  "The right thing would have been to warn me!"

  "And risk pissing you off with another betrayal? She's a smart girl. Only a fool gets involved in one of our fights."

  "So you think she knew something like this was coming?"

  "Not that we could prove it without a probe or a truth stone, but... probably. Like I said, she's a smart girl," Hopkins said.

  I sighed and rubbed my eyes, "Naturally."

  "The Fausts have always been pragmatists, Mathew. She'd have learned that at her parents' and grandparents' knees since she was old enough to crawl. Alas, the current Lord Faust seems to have forgotten the lesson."

  "Anyone else I should know about?" I asked.

  "Oh yes. And this is why we're all rather hopping mad. The Primus isn't just a silent partner and a rubber stamp, he's in it right up to his neck," she said, her eyes going cold, "We're formulating a strategy now, but it doesn't look good for the bastard. The problem will be proving that he knew he was authorising an attack on the First Shadow, and not just Mathew Graves, Shadowborn Sorcerer... who, I'm sorry to say, is almost fair game as far as the world's concerned. We'll probably need Jocelyn for that."

  "This has all the makings of a rather huge mess, Jen," I said.

  "We can't let this stand, Matty. We will not allow it, we can't. It's one thing for Braak to try on some deniable crap for his other boss. It's quite another for a Primus to put his weight behind fielding an army against an Archon. There must be a reckoning."

  "Even if it means a civil war?"

  She laughed.

  "Oh, you're sweet," she said, patting my thigh, "If they went up against one of us, they'd lose. All five? It's not even a competition. You think you've seen our power on display, but you haven't, really. Each of us can call on whole armies, Mathew. You will too, one day; hell, you could now if you put your mind to it. We do our best to be gentle, like you, but when we play for keeps, the world trembles."

  I sighed, too sick to argue, and not really sure I wanted to.

  "So what happens next?" I asked.

  "Find Solomon, chop him up into tiny pieces, do it slowly, repeat as needed with the ot
her conspirators."

  "Try not to mangle Thornsby, Kandi wouldn't get over it."

  "Acceptable, but he needs to do some time for what he's done."

  "Fine with me."

  "And Faust should go back to the Farm."

  "Feel free to throw away the key."

  "One more thing," she said, and now she was serious, very serious, "The time when you can pretend to be just another Shadowborn has come to an end, Mathew. I hate to say this, especially to you, but if you had simply revealed yourself, this would likely never have been an issue, and the fact that you kept your real nature a secret likely made everything much harder for everyone, you especially."

  I rubbed my eyes, just wanting to collapse and go back to sleep.

  "Nobody messes with the Archons, Mathew. It is universally known what happens to the people that do. Because of your hiding, people have deniability, excuses lined up, a whole mess of things they can do or say to get them clear of retribution.

  "I have no doubt that Foltre and Braak will have any number of excuses lined up, though goodness knows how they're planning to justify attacking Blackhold, which is known to be the First Shadow's residence, but I'm sure they'll come up with something. You see the problem?"

  I did, unfortunately.

  "I just wanted... oh, I don't know anymore," I said, dropping back to the bed, thoroughly unhappy, "Tell whoever you think necessary, I won't make a fuss."

  "And from now on I want you to take a Warden with you wherever you go. We have them for a reason, Mathew, and it's time you accepted their necessity. Going solo may have been an option when you were relatively anonymous. It's not anymore, alright?"

  "No, but I'll do it anyway because you'll just nag if I don't."

  "Quite right, you're learning."

  She hopped onto the bed proper and rested her back against the headboard.

  "How are you feeling?" she asked, more softly, resting her hand on my shoulder.

  "Been better," I said tiredly, patting the hand.

  "Here's something that will cheer you up, I heard Palmyra ask Tethys if she could come back once in a while and use your dungeon," Hopkins said.

  "Oh God! Why would you tell me that?" I said, grimacing, "That's an image I can't scrub out of my head!"

  "It does look fun in there. I might come by once in a while myself," she continued.

  "Gaah!" I bellowed throwing my head under a pillow.

  She linked her mind with mine, so I couldn't escape.

  Did you see those electro-shorts? I bet you'd look good in those...

  She tried to pull the pillow away, her thoughts becoming increasingly graphic as she tried to embarrass me to death. Finally she settled to tickling me until I gave up the pillow, at which point she laughed.

  "You're a monster!" I said as she tweaked my nose.

  Chapter 25

  Sunday rolled over into Monday morning... no, afternoon. Just after two, in fact. Damn, I was groggy...

  I woke up with the Pixies playing tag around the room, their darting forms relaxed and obviously enjoying themselves. Cassandra was sleeping next to me, a really big, heavily enchanted stick in hand.

  I felt absolutely dreadful.

  I curled myself up into a ball and tried not to cry, it was that bad. I had a high fever, muscle cramps, and I was dizzy enough to need to close my eyes.

  "Matty?" Cassandra said, waking up when I moved, "How're you feeling?"

  "Okay."

  "Liar."

  I heard squelching sounds and then a cool, wet flannel was pressed to my forehead.

  "Oh, thank you," I said with a sigh.

  "Don't mention it."

  I heard rustling and plastic crinkling.

  "Pills. Muscle relaxants, anti-histamines, anti-emetics, a couple of others. Take them."

  "Twist my arm," I said, extending my hand. She dropped quite a few pills into my palm and then a small bottle of water. I downed the lot and rested my head back onto my pillow.

  "You should start feeling better soon," she said.

  I sighed and tried to relax.

  "How's everyone?" I asked.

  "Not bad. On high alert in case Solomon tries something else."

  "I think he's probably learned his lesson."

  She chuckled, "That was delightfully gory, wasn't it?"

  "Delightfully?"

  "Well, interestingly."

  "And you say I'm evil?"

  "Oh, you are, I'm just a product of the environment you created, Lord Shadow."

  I glared, but she just smirked.

  I relaxed, letting the pills start to work, and they did wonders. Where had they been this whole time?

  Maggie called me while I was dozing, which I appreciated. She'd missed the attack by minutes, her contacts failing her for once. She'd followed Solomon as best she could, but had lost him at the edge of the Old Quarter.

  I enjoyed talking to her, she made me feel better. She said she'd be by later on to cheer me up, and I said that I was looking forward to it, smiling for a while after she'd hung up.

  By the time the conversation was done, I was starting to feel a little more perky. My various symptoms had decreased enough that I felt like a little walk around the place, to get some fresh air, if nothing else (my bedroom was not the most fragrant of places by that point).

  I took a stroll around the grounds, wrapped up against the winter chill, until I ended up at the central garden, where I lowered myself to the ground under my oak tree. Cassandra kept close by and settled herself on the bench opposite.

  "What keeps you going through this?" she asked, her eyes on me very intently, "I know you could get the Black back if you wanted. So why are you fighting so hard?"

  I chuckled and leaned my head against the warm bark.

  "I think, at this point, it's simple bone-headed stubbornness," I admitted, "There are too many people insisting that I'm going to go dark, and I'm simply too contrary to let them be right."

  She looked at me for a long moment, and then she burst out laughing.

  "Oh, I actually believe that! That would be just the most appropriate motivation for you."

  "I'm trying not to take the peals of girlish laughter personally, but it's getting hard!"

  She grinned widely at me and shook her head.

  "Sorry, it's just sometimes I forget just how very... you, you are," she said, her tone very affectionate.

  "Thanks... I think?"

  "It's just... I've met a lot of Shadowborn, and Black Magicians. The last one was a woman named Uria, about fifteen years ago. I was with her when she turned. She was strong, very nearly a Sorcerer, smart, headstrong. When she first used the Black, I cried. I watched, and it was over nothing!"

  She barked out the last word and stood, agitated as she paced back and forth. Any mention of Black Magic, and she got all riled up.

  "She was sleeping with some idiot in the City, and I was having lunch with her when she found out that he was cheating on her. We saw him across the road with the other woman, a chance encounter, utterly idiotic and unlucky. But she saw, and she flipped right there. I never had a chance to stop her, I was so surprised. She was the most gentle creature I'd ever met, I once saw her jump at one of her own Shadows. But in an instant, Uria turned, using the Black like she'd been born with it.

  "She lashed out, and the other woman exploded into this... fountain of black ooze that ate the man she loved and a hundred square feet of pavement besides. And then she just stood there, laughing for about five minutes while I sat there like a lemon, too shocked to move."

  She stopped pacing and came over to me, kneeling in front of me.

  "But you, you ridiculous little man... you used the Black, and the first thing you did was save my life, in an admittedly gruesome way, really, really, gruesome, by the way, but you didn't kill, and the second thing you did was to have me shoot you," she said with a smile, "I'm not scared of you anymore, Mathew. If I'm honest, I always was, a little. But if you did ever start using t
he Black, I'm not sure it would be the end of the world."

  I snorted, "Don't you, of all people, give me permission!"

  She smacked my arm and dropped next to me.

  "This really is a beautiful place," Cassandra said after a while, "the last time I was here, before you, it wasn't beautiful. Nothing about this house was. There was no laughter here, no joy. It wasn't a place you could relax, or live, or feel safe. No First Shadow before you was... well, you, simply put. I have no idea what made you like this, but you are all wrong! It's almost as if the powers went to the wrong brothers. Desmond is harsh and cold, the very thing a Light Magician shouldn't be, and you're the opposite, smart, compassionate, gentle in a way Shadowborn shouldn't be, and First Shadows never are. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know you're also a cunning little bastard with a vindictive streak a mile wide, but you're good people. I wanted you know that I knew that."

  "Thanks Cassie," I said with a smile, "That means a lot."

  She squeezed my arm again and leaned back against the tree.

  We were there for a while, chatting a little, but otherwise just relaxing.

  Kandi came running in about half an hour later, barefoot, wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

  "Oh, thank God!" she said, darting for me, "You've got to do something! If I spend any more time with her, she's going to break something!"

  "What?" I asked as she dropped to the ground and pulled me forward so she could crouch behind my back, which in no way hid her, by the way.

  "Tethys! She won't leave me alone!" Kandi said, which made Cassandra smirk.

  "I'm coming precious," said a silken voice from around the edge the doorway, "I can smell you, there's no escaping me."

  I shivered, Tethys did more for me with her voice than a lot of women could do with their whole bodies.

  Kandi emitted a little whimper and buried her head in my shoulder.

  "Help me, Matty, I'm so chafed and sore," she said, wrapping her arms around my chest, "and you still smell amazing, by the way."

  Tethys walked around the door, wearing a silk dressing gown, red and sumptuous, revealing long lines of perfect flesh that I had a sudden urge to kiss...