by R. A. Smyth
Shrugging, Aiden responds, “We just figured you knew who your dad was, or at least knew a bit about who he is.”
“So, you’re saying, you were just uprooted, dumped in a town full of strangers, and stuck in a house with some guy you don’t know and had never even met before?” Tyler interjects, seeming outraged on my behalf at the mess that is my life.
“Yup,” I confirm, popping the ‘p’. He just succinctly summed up this whole fucked up situation.
The car is silent for a few moments while Aiden and Tyler digest what I’ve said. Now that we have talked about it out loud, this whole thing is insane.
Tyler disturbs the peaceful silence we were in with a snort of laughter as he shakes his head at whatever he was thinking.
“What?” Aiden asks him, with a hint of amusement on his face.
“I just can’t imagine there have been many memorable father-daughter moments since you arrived,” he explains, continuing to chuckle.
I have to say, the thought of having any moments with my father, doing anything normal with him, has my lips tugging up in a smile.
“Ha, no. He doesn’t strike me as the caring father-figure sort. I don’t think he’s the type to watch cheesy movies with a bowl of popcorn and gossip about boys.”
This comment has both boys laughing. Well, Tyler laughs, Aiden chuckles quietly under his breath. He couldn’t possibly ruin his bad-boy image by doing something normal and easy-going like laughing.
Unfortunately, when the moment passes, it leaves a hollow hole in my chest. How different would my life be if I had had a dad who wanted to get to know me, spend time with me? I’ve never felt like I needed a father figure before, but now that I know who my father is, the type of person he is, the little girl inside of me is heartbroken and devastated.
Finally, Aiden breaks the oppressive silence in the car, “No. He’s more of a ‘control you with fear and make you bend to my will’ kinda guy. You need to be careful in that house, Sophie.” He warns. “He’s already suspicious of you. Don’t give him any more reason to keep a closer eye on you; or worse, decide he doesn’t have a need for you anymore.”
“I know who he is, what he’s capable of,” I assure them, my voice full of gravity, vividly remembering that day in his office when he burnt me. I don’t give them any more details than that though, and thankfully they don’t ask for any.
We lapse back into silence again, the graveness of our current situation sitting heavy on everyone’s shoulders. No one says anything more for the rest of the journey.
When we arrive at the house, Tyler parks just out of sight of the guardhouse at the gate, not wanting to alert anyone to the fact that I know who Aiden and Tyler are.
Muttering my thanks, I grab my purse and climb out of the car, heading through the gates. Once I’m close enough that the guards can recognise me, they open the gates and I stride on through. It’s only once the gates have jangled shut behind me that I hear the car rev and the two of them take off down the road.
Making my way up to the house, I head into the kitchen, too wired from all that has happened tonight. If I go to bed now I’ll just lie there, wide awake, all night.
Stepping into the kitchen, I flick on the spotlights under the kitchen counters so I can have a bit of light while I rummage around in the cupboards until I find what I want.
Digging out a tub of cocoa powder and a bag of baby marshmallows, I grab a large mug and a spoon and set my items on the kitchen counter. I dump a few spoonfuls of powder into the mug and press the button to add boiling water from the super fancy coffee machine. Topping the chocolatey goodness off with a handful of marshmallows, I take the concoction over to the breakfast nook and make myself comfortable on the bench that allows me to look out through the patio doors.
In the darkness, it’s impossible to make out the landscaped gardens, but raising my eyes to the sky, I can see billions of stars sparkling away, completely oblivious to the chaos going on down here; the mess that is my life.
Sipping on my cup of chocolate heaven, I continue to stare aimlessly out the window. I can’t get over the beauty out here, or the sense of peace that comes over me, just sitting here, taking in the night sky. You can’t see the stars like this in the city. It reminds me that life is so much bigger than what is going on right now, that the problems I’m currently facing will one day be a distant memory.
One day my life will be my own. The people I’ve met here, the kids I go to school with, none of them will matter.
I’ll be free of my father, and whatever the hell his plans are.
I’ll just be me, doing whatever I want; being whoever I want to be.
I just have to survive today.
Chapter 22
Ispend most of Sunday catching up on homework and chilling out in my room. Before I know it, it’s Monday morning again. I exchanged phone numbers with Alexis and her friends last week but I haven’t heard from any of them since the party, not that I’ve reached out to them either. I’ve been thinking over what happened at the party, and I can’t work out if they deliberately ditched me or if it was a genuine mistake.
Ugh, this is where never having had friends before is a serious problem. I have no idea about social protocol or how to handle issues like this.
Not hearing anything from them is stressing me out. No, I’m not all that close to them, and I wouldn’t describe them as my people, but it's been nice having someone to hang out with the last week, to feel a part of something. I don’t really want to go back to being on my own so soon.
There is no point in sitting here psychoanalyzing it though. I need to get a move on, get to school and face the music.
As soon as I arrive, the girls are all over me, dragging me over to one of the outdoor picnic tables on the lawn.
“Where did you go on Saturday night? Last we saw, you were dancing with Neill, then you totally disappeared,” Beth says all excitedly, dying to hear my gossip.
“Did you screw him?” Vicki asks, ever the blunt one.
“Mmm, I bet he was great in bed. He looks like he would be an unforgettable fuck,” Alexis adds on all dreamily.
“Uh no! I didn’t do anything with Neill. We just danced.” I choke out. “I was feeling claustrophobic and needed some air, when I came back inside I was told you had all left, without me.” I chastise, letting them know I’m pissed off about the fact they left me there alone.
Alexis’s mouth drops open. “We’re so sorry! We seriously thought you were getting it on with Neill and didn’t want to interrupt,” she gushes apologetically, while the other girls nod in agreement.
“We really are sorry,” Beth supplies, “honestly we wouldn’t have left you if we had realised.”
Not wanting to stay pissed at them or cause any further issues, I decide to just let it go.
“It’s fine, maybe just next time come find me before you leave, even if I am in the middle of life-altering sex.” I say, laughing, and they laugh along with me, lightening the mood and instantly fixing everything.
Now that everything seems to be sorted between us, we get back into our normal routine of gossiping about all that happened at Saturday night's party. It feels good to be part of a group and I lean against the table behind me, taking on my normal position of listening instead of contributing to the conversation, letting the flow of their words circle around me.
I notice Kurt walking by our table with his arm slung over some girl who is rubbing up against him like he’s a fucking genie about to grant her a wish – if the wish is his cock then I’m sure he will happily give her at least three spins on it. He turns to give me the stink eye as he walks past, letting me know he hasn’t forgotten our encounter. He’s still pissed at my rejection, which is insane. How high must his arrogance be to not even be able to handle one rejection?
I also need to find out more about what my father is up to. I haven’t managed to learn anything more since the night of his party over a week ago now and I don’t have much time. Mr. D
onaghue had said the shipment – whatever that is in reference to – would be here in a few days, so it’s likely that has arrived and my father may have already gone to see the operation Mr. Donaghue was talking about. The auction they were referred to will be soon and I need to find out where and when that is so I can get some answers. All I have is an ever-growing list of questions and it’s beginning to piss me off.
What’s more, my father doesn’t strike me as the type to let anyone else have all the power and glory. He is a ruler, not a follower, there is no way he would bow to the whims of someone like Mr. Donaghue. So, if he’s not simply here to work with Mr. Donaghue, what is he really up to?
Ugh, I am giving myself a headache with all these unanswerable questions. Why can’t I just be a normal teenager worrying about what mark I got in my geometry exam and if the hot quarterback is going to ask me to the winter dance?
Speaking of hot quarterbacks, I see Neill heading our way and can’t help but internally groan. He seems like a nice guy and I enjoyed the other night, but I’ve enough drama going on right now. I don’t need to complicate things with even more boy drama, and it wouldn’t be fair to involve him in my messed-up life.
“Morning ladies,” he greets us with his gorgeous country boy smile that shows off his perfect teeth. Damn, he is the perfect boy next door type and any woman would be lucky to have him. Just not me, apparently. Evidently, I like emotionally damaged assholes. Go figure. I knew I was too well adjusted, considering my childhood. I just never would have guessed my trauma would manifest in the form of four equally as damaged boys.
“Morning Neill, did you have fun at the party the other night?” Alexis asks slyly, giving me a wink across the table.
“Yeah,” he responds, “except the hottest girl there left me hanging on the dance floor.” His eyes move to take me in as he gives me a fake pout. “Can we talk?”
Before I can let him down easily, Alexis responds for me. “Of course you can. Girls, let's go, leave these two lovebirds to chat.”
Alexis starts to gather up her stuff and ushers the others away, turning round to give me one last wink before she saunters off.
“What do you want to talk about?” I ask Neill as he takes a seat on the bench beside me, leaving no space between us, our legs brushing against each other. There are no tingles where our bodies touch, no spark or eruption of goosebumps. My heart doesn’t pound and my breaths don’t stutter. I have no physical reaction to his presence at all.
“I wanted to make sure you were ok,” he answers sheepishly, staring intently at a spot in the ground, refusing to look at me. “You ran out of there so quickly and I didn’t see you again for the rest of the night.”
“Oh.” I suddenly feel bad for ditching him in the middle of the dance floor. I really should have found him and apologised before I left, I just couldn’t handle any more drama that night. “Sorry about that,” I apologise weakly, “I get claustrophobic sometimes. I just needed some air.” The excuse sounds lame, even to me, but it’s the best I’ve got.
He nods as if he understands. “Ok. Cool. As long as you’re ok.”
Just when I think that’s the end of the conversation and he’s going to get up and leave, he suddenly blurts out, “I was wondering if you would wanna go out with me sometime?”
“Oh. I…emm. I’m not sure if that would be a good idea,” I answer slowly, trying to work out how to let him down gently. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. “I have a lot going on right now at home and I don’t really want to add anything else to my plate,” I lamely explain.
“That’s ok. We can keep it casual. No pressure, just fun,” he says with a flirty wink before standing up, clearly not intending to give me the chance to argue with him. He bends down to give me a kiss and, thankfully, I turn my head at the last minute so he only catches the corner of my mouth. Giving me another one of his boyish smiles, as though he is unfazed by my brush off, he walks off while I’m still trying to work out what the hell just happened.
I feel like I just started dating him, even though that was not my intention at all. I also don’t feel I really had much of a choice in any of that.
Of course, I catch Barrett glaring at me from the other side of the courtyard, but I choose to ignore him. I can’t afford to think about his kiss right now, not if I don’t want my panties to burst into flames right here in front of the whole school. Besides he’s been an ass to me since I arrived, why would I do anything to try and appease him?
◆◆◆
Finally, it's lunchtime and I drop my tray down onto the table, already exhausted. The course work is so much harder than what I am used to and I constantly feel like I’m behind.
Nevermind the fact that I have either Barrett or Preston glowering at me in nearly every class, although I’m pretty sure it’s for two different reasons. While Preston is his usual pissy self, I’m pretty sure Barrett’s scowls have more to do with Neill than my father.
Even when I can’t see them, I can feel their glares burrowing into the back of my skull. It’s seriously fucking annoying, and I’m not the only one starting to notice. The Barbies have picked up on the fact the boy’s attention has been elsewhere recently, and they are making it clear they aren’t happy about it by calling me names, like slut, whore and bitch, when they walk past me in the hallways or when I pass their chairs in class. Their insults mean nothing to me but it’s still frustrating.
All hope of a quiet lunch, just listening to the girl’s gossip, is ruined when a hard body collapses into the chair beside me and drapes his arm over my shoulder.
“Hey babe,” Neill says casually, like we do this every day.
“Eh, what are you doing here?” I mutter quietly, trying to keep the conversation private. I don’t intend for the question to come out sounding rude but once I’ve said it I realise it does sound that way. “Don’t you usually sit with your friends at lunch?” I add, trying to make it sound less abrupt.
“Yeah, but today I thought I’d sit with you,” he says shrugging like it’s no big deal.
Not knowing what else to say, I just nod in agreement and tuck into my lunch. I’m not about to cause a scene here in the middle of the lunchroom.
He starts talking to me all about football, apparently he’s a wide receiver, whatever the hell that means. I just nod along with whatever he says, but honestly, I have no idea about American football. Or any type of football. It seems similar to rugby, but different somehow. Not that Neill seems to care, he’s happy enough to have an apparently engaging audience to listen to him drone on about it.
When the bell goes for the end of lunch, he grabs my lunch tray along with his own and puts them in the trash before grabbing my hand. “I’ll walk you to class,” he says smiling down at me.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. I know how to get around the school by now,” I protest, appreciating his thoughtfulness but secretly hoping to get at least a few minutes to myself before my afternoon classes begin. I’m not used to having to interact with so many people during the school day and it’s way more exhausting than I thought it would be. Plus, I don’t know how to navigate this new…thing…with Neill.
Unfortunately, luck is not on my side today - not that it ever really seems to be - as Neill continues to smile at me, dragging me down the corridor towards my next class.
Once we reach the classroom door I turn to say thanks before heading inside, but apparently, he has other ideas. Instead, he pushes me up against the wall beside the door and looks at me with eyes full of dirty mischief.
“Don’t I get a thank you kiss, or even a goodbye kiss, before you leave me?” He asks all flirtatiously, full of boy next door charm.
If I was any other girl he would have me hook, line and sinker. I would be an absolute sucker for him. As it is, he’s just starting to annoy me, although I can’t deny it's nice having someone who wants to spend time with me and wants my attention.
I’ve never had that before, and honestly, it’s nice to feel
wanted for a change. I’ve gotten so used to feeling unwanted, hated, to being on the defensive, since I arrived here, that I hadn’t realised I have been slowly drowning in these negative emotions. I tell myself that that’s the reason why I lean forwards and capture his lips in what I intend to be a chaste kiss.
Instead, Neill takes over and starts to consume me, licking along the seam of my mouth, causing my lips to part so he can shove his tongue inside, while his thigh slips between mine, causing my skirt to ride up to an indecent level. He’s not a bad kisser. I’d even say he’s a decent kisser, but I can’t help comparing him to Barrett, and damn he does nothing for me in comparison.
Where Barrett caused my brain to malfunction and had every nerve in my body responding to his touch and screaming for more, Neill doesn’t elicit any of that.
I’ve just placed my hands on his chest, pushing him back when someone coughs loudly beside us. The rest of the class has taken their seats already, and the teacher is standing in the doorway scowling at us.
“Whenever you are ready to come in Miss Montgomery, the rest of us are waiting to begin,” he states flatly, unamused with our disruption.
Fighting a blush, I mutter an apology to the teacher as I duck under Neill's arm, taking my seat as quickly as possible while the rest of the students snicker around me. Once again, I feel Barrett’s glare from behind me drilling holes into the back of my head, but I deliberately don’t look his way.
The week continues on in much the same fashion. Neill sits at our table every day and talks to me and the other girls, laughing and joking along. While I am still not sure about his intentions, I’ve come to accept it and even enjoy it in some strange way.
I can’t deny it feels nice when he puts his arm around me and pulls me into his side, or when he looks over at me and gives me that gorgeous smile of his, as though it's only for me and we’re sharing some sort of secret. It’s not something I have ever had before, or ever thought I would have. While I know it isn’t real, because my feelings for him aren’t real, I often find myself ignoring that little voice in my head that says this isn’t fair on him, or myself, in favour of holding on to these moments for a little longer.
