by R. A. Smyth
Chapter 23
The weeks go by and before I know it, it’s nearly Thanksgiving. Not a holiday I have ever celebrated before, but a holiday that is apparently done with a lot of fanfare in America, or well in Crescentwood anyway.
There are autumnal themed decorations everywhere in town and in the gardens of the passing mansions, and the crisp feeling of the change of seasons in the air. I can’t help but relish in it. I have always loved autumn, when the leaves change colour and paint the trees and surrounding land in burnt oranges and reds, but living somewhere with so much forestry and a lot less rain than Northern Ireland means the colours are so much more vibrant and rich than back home, and I can actually go out for walks amongst the trees and nature to enjoy the changing of the season.
Thankfully, things have been pretty steady recently. Preston and Barrett seem to have backed off for now and I’ve settled into a routine with Alexis and the girls, and even with Neill. I also haven’t had much interaction with Robert, although with the holidays looming, I’m sure that’s about to change.
I would almost go as far as to say things are good right now. There’s a familiarity to the routine and a sense of belonging that I never thought I would feel. We all went to a party together at the weekend and it was the first time since arriving here that I let my guard down and let loose. I had a few drinks, danced and laughed with the girls, made out with Neill and, surprisingly, I had fun.
I knew Neill wanted to take things further with me that night, but I just couldn’t go that far with him. I think his feelings for me are much deeper than mine are for him. I know I’m only keeping him around because it makes me feel better, not because of any intense feelings I have for him.
I had hoped, over the last few weeks, that real, genuine feelings would develop for him, but, unfortunately, they haven’t. I can’t bring myself to let him go either. I know I’m being selfish and I will have to let him down easily sometime soon, but for now, I want to just be a teenager and enjoy this time in my life.
Tonight, he’s taking me on a date to see some new action movie. I’m wearing a pair of black skin-tight jeans paired with a short baby pink top that shows the skin just above my trousers. I’ve finished the outfit off with a pair of heeled boots and a leather jacket. I’ve gone slightly heavier on my make-up, with dark eyes and bright red lips, giving me a badass biker girl look.
I reach the bottom of the stairs just as the doorbell goes, telling me Neill is here. Reaching the door before Thomas can appear to answer it himself, I open it and smile at Neill.
“Hey.”
“Hey yourself babe. You look smoking hot!” He compliments, his eyes eat me up as his gaze slowly makes its way up my body. Feeling myself begin to blush, I duck my head and hurry to close the door behind me.
Neill grabs onto my hand and leads me to the car, some exorbitantly overpriced sports car. He said something about it being a McLaren, whatever that is. He opens the door for me, like a proper gentleman, and I smile at him before dropping into the low seat, buckling myself in while he walks round to the driver's side and gets in. When he starts the engine, I feel the purr of it vibrate through me as we fly down the driveway and out onto the road.
It doesn’t take long before we arrive at the movie, where we buy way too much popcorn and fizzy drinks and pick seats right at the back of the theatre. We make out through most of the film so, by the time we leave, I have no idea what it was about.
It's all so PG 13. I’ve never been on dates like this and I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would, but I’m aware that Neill is starting to look for more, and soon I’m either going to have to give it to him or cut him loose.
I’ve had sex several times before, but never with someone I had feelings for, or who had feelings for me. It’s always been to scratch an itch. While I am well past due for a sex-induced orgasm, I don’t feel like I can take that next step with Neill and allow him to become even more invested in this relationship when I know I don’t feel the same way.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t immediately realise we aren’t heading back in the direction of my house after the movie.
“Where are we going?”
“Thought I’d show you my favourite spot to go when I need to get away for a bit,” he replies, giving me a dirty smile indicating he’s looking to do more than just chat at this secret spot. Shit.
Not knowing what to say, I sit in silence as he drives us further up into the mountains that surround Crescentwood, until we reach an isolated spot that looks out over the valley below. You can see the lights of Crescentwood twinkling beneath us, and the millions and billions of stars sparkling in the sky. It truly is a breathtaking view.
“Wow, it's beautiful up here,” I say in awe, taking in the surrounding view, making a mental note to definitely come back to this spot the next time I need to clear my head.
Turning to look at Neill, I see him looking back at me, or more specifically checking out my boobs, which I admit look pretty damn fine in this top, but still.
“Why did you bring me here?”
Shrugging he just says, “I thought you deserved something special,” before he leans in and kisses me deeply.
My lips part and his tongue enters my mouth as his hand's circle around my waist, lifting me up until I’m straddling him, with the steering wheel pressed up against my back. His hands slip under my top, stroking along my sides and stomach and his right hand slowly climbs up until he’s groping my breast, the contact causing him to groan into my mouth. I could so easily get lost in his touch, but even all these weeks later, when Neill touches me, all I can feel is Barrett, and it's just not fair on Neill.
I start to pull back when he tightens his grip on me, groaning again, this time as though he’s in pain.
“Please babe, I need you so badly. You’re killing me here.”
Knowing I am totally going to regret this later, but getting caught up in the lust of the moment, I decide to give him a little something to tide him over. I slowly snake my hands down over his hard abs, until I reach the waistband of his jeans. I undo his buttons and dip my hand inside to grab his cock. As soon as my hand wraps around him, he groans into my mouth and moves his lips to suck harshly on my neck causing me to inadvertently rock my hips forward into his groin. I may not be all that into him but I’m only human at the end of the day. A girl has needs.
I start to move my hand slowly up and down his hard length. He’s not massive but he's substantial enough. He starts to rock up into my hand and as he pulls up my top so his mouth can suck on my nipple through my bra.
The pheromones are starting to mess with my head and I’m suddenly forgetting why it's a bad idea to have sex with him. It’s been so long since a man has gotten me off. A vibrator just doesn’t do the same job and I’m suddenly needy, like a bitch in heat.
All too soon, I feel Neill tense and he spurts cum all over my hand. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get myself off on the friction of his jeans against mine, but it will have to do. At least he is satisfied and, hopefully, we can put off the conversation about sex for a while longer.
As I go to climb off him to get back into my seat he grabs my hips holding me in place. “Nu-uh babe. Just give me a minute to look at your fucking hot body and I’ll be ready to go again. I didn’t just bring you here to get me off,” he says, his eyes half-lidded with pleasure. Thinking he means to get me off next, I shake my head and begin to tell him it’s ok, this time was all about him, but he chuckles into my neck.
“Nah babe, we aren’t fifteen anymore. As much as I want to bury my fingers deep in that pussy of yours, I need my cock in you more.” He continues to suckle on my neck even though I have tensed up at his words.
Pushing him back, so he can see that I’m serious and not just playing coy, I sternly tell him, “Neill, I am not having sex with you tonight. I’m not ready for that yet.”
“Don’t worry babe. I’ll go easy on you for your first time. We have a great view, priva
cy, and all the time in the world. I’ll make it a night you never forget.” His voice is full of confidence, but what he has said has just registered with me.
“You brought me up here to have sex for the first time in the front seat of your car?” I ask incredulously.
Presumptuous much to presume I was a virgin, but did he really think if I was a virgin that I’d want to lose my virginity in the front seat of a teeny tiny sports car? My back is already sore from being pressed tightly against the wheel behind me, and I really don’t fancy repeatedly banging my head off the low roof, just for a mediocre fuck. What a cliché.
Picking up on my attitude, Neill pulls back so he’s looking at me. He has a hard mask in place, covering his boyish features. Right now, he looks nothing like the boy next door I thought I was getting to know.
“I was trying to do something nice for you, but if you don’t fucking want it you can get out!” He snaps back, pissed off at my rejection, but what did he expect?
I don’t want to argue with him, here, now. Trying to placate him, I soothe, “I’m sorry Neill, it’s not that, I appreciate the effort, but I don’t want to have sex with you for the first time in the front seat of your car.”
Neill is already shaking his head, not listening to me.
“What is your problem? You some sort of nun? You have been shutting me down for weeks! You were supposed to be easy, a girl like you, desperate for some attention,” he spat, full of vitriol.
His words get my back up. I’ve been trying to be nice, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but fuck him! Now I’m pissed, not only at him, but at myself, for becoming someone I’m not in order to make him happy, to keep him around, as a means of compensating for my lack of feelings.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?!” I snarl back at him.
“You know what, I don’t want to be in the car with you,” I say as I scramble to get off his lap and get out of the car. “Go fuck yourself Neill, you selfish, narcissistic douchecanoe…Oh, and by the way, I’m not a fucking virgin; I just didn’t want to fuck you!” I shout at him, slamming the door on his stunned face and storming away.
A few seconds later I hear his engine start and he tears out of the parking area like the hounds of hell are on his ass. Fuck. Now, what am I supposed to do?
Chapter 24
I’m only sitting on the grass, stewing in my anger, for a few minutes before a car pulls up to the spot Neill just took off from. Assuming it's him back to apologise, I don’t initially look over, but when no one approaches me I glance over my shoulder to see what he’s doing.
Instead of Neill’s pretentious, showy car, there is a beat-up Ford in its place. There is a moment of panic when I think this is probably where I get hacked to bits by a serial killer who happened to be stalking the area for stupid foolish girls who don’t use their brains, but then I realise that I recognise this car.
There may not be a serial killer behind the wheel but there are definitely a pair of stalkers in the car, ones who just so happen to be following my every movement at the minute.
Although, strangely, their stalking hasn’t bothered me as much recently. Since the night they drove me home from the party at Meaghan’s house, things have been…different between us. I haven’t had much opportunity to talk to them, but I’ve found a new sense of safety in their watchfulness. It feels less like they are spying on me, and more like they are protecting me.
Unfortunately for them though, I’m not in the mood tonight to deal with any more testosterone, especially not the asshole bad boy type.
After sitting and huffing for another few moments, I climb to my feet and stomp over to the car. Looking through the front windscreen as I approach. I can only make out one person in the car, behind the wheel. One of them must be stalking solo tonight.
Bending down to look through the already lowered driver's side window, I come face to face with Aiden. He immediately casts his eyes over me, as though checking I’m okay, before giving me his usual intense stare.
“What’s up Schmidt?”
“What?”
“Have you never seen 21 Jump Street?”
“Weren’t they cops?” He snorts, shaking his head, likely at the thought of being compared to a policeman.
“Same thing,” I shrug, “They were as good at their jobs as you two are.”
“Who says we’re shit at our jobs?”
Chuckling, “I’m pretty sure the stalkee isn’t supposed to know she’s being stalked. The stalker definitely shouldn’t be blowing his cover to come pick her up and give her a ride home.”
“Oh no?” He responds confidently. “Surely the whole point of stalking is to get to know your victim; to get close to them. In which case, it makes total sense for me to be here right now, learning more about you,” he reasons, leaning in closer to me.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I assure him.
“Don’t I? I think you would be surprised at what I know.”
“Just because you’ve watched me on the few occasions I leave the house, doesn’t mean you know me,” I snap, angry that this asshole thinks he knows the sort of person I am just by following me around for a few weeks.
Aiden leans further over in his seat, the movement bringing his face within inches of my own. I must have angled myself closer to the car during our conversation, so my face is level with the car door. We are so close I can see each individual hair in his stubble, and the different shades of green in his eyes. They really are hypnotising.
“I know that you love to spend your free time sitting with a coffee, reading or people watching, preferring your own company over that of others. I’m guessing that’s because you’ve never really had any friends before, no one you could rely on.
“I know that you are amazed by the natural beauty of the area here, telling me you grew up in a city and never had many opportunities to surround yourself with nature. That, or you never had the time before to take in your surroundings.
“I know you don’t give a crap what other people think about you; especially the pretentious pricks at your school, implying that you don’t care about fitting in; that you’re independent. You’ve probably never felt like you fit in anywhere, always the odd one out, and ‘cause of that you have developed a thick skin.
“I also know you don’t bow to the commands of others, you aren’t afraid to stand up for yourself and fight back. Which makes you, Sophie Montgomery, strong.”
I can’t do anything but stand there with my mouth hanging open in shock. I’m struck dumb at his words. Instead, I’m left looking into his eyes, searching and finding the truth of his words in his gaze. Who knew there was a softer side to Aiden, buried deep under that uncaring, emotionless exterior of his. Never mind the fact he has clearly been paying way more attention to me than I gave him credit for. He’s definitely more invested than just checking what I’m up to and reporting back to Robert.
Ruining the moment, one side of his mouth tilts up in a cocky smirk, “Told ya. Now come on, get in the damn car.” Smug asshole. Moment over, he’s back to his normal, demanding self.
Doing as he says, because really what choice do I have, I walk round to the other side of the car, open the door and climb in. I expect him to turn the car around and take me home, but instead he just sits there, staring out the windscreen, deep in thought.
After several moments of comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own contemplations, he asks, “What happened tonight? Why did he leave you out here alone?”
“It doesn’t matter. He was being an asshole.” I grumble, getting annoyed again just thinking about it. Fucking entitled douchebag.
Aiden’s hands tighten on the steering wheel and he turns to glare at me, annoyed with my non-answer. “What the hell were you even doing out here alone with him? Why would you think it was a fucking good idea to go to some remote location in the dark with some guy you don’t even know?” He growls at me, full of anger, although I’m not sure why. Is it possible Aiden
was worried about me?
“Just like I’m sitting in the dark with some guy I know even less?” I snap back, too emotionally damaged to accept there is any possibility that Aiden cares about me. I also realise my words are a lie, I feel like I know Aiden way more than I knew Neill, on a deeper level that I could never connect with Neill on.
Before I can blink, Aiden stretches his upper half across the centre-console, rushing towards me and wrapping his hand around the front of my neck, in his signature intimidation move.
“You deserve so much better than him,” he murmurs quietly, rubbing his thumb up and down the side of my neck absent-mindedly. “No halfway decent human being would leave a girl out here, alone, in the middle of the night,” he growls angrily, but I can see the concern in his eyes.
I can barely comprehend his words, what with my brain on the fritz due to his hand wrapped around my throat. Not because he’s cutting off my oxygen or scaring me, no, it’s because every shallow breath I take is soaked in his scent of soap, leather and expensive single-malt whiskey. My skin is on fire where I can feel him rubbing his calloused thumb over the pulse point in my throat. Dammit, I feel all the wanton dirty sexual chemistry for him that I wanted to feel for Neill.
In a moment of insanity and desperate need, I smash my lips against his, pushing all of my hate and frustration into that single bit of contact.
Instead of pushing me away like I expect him to, he uses his grip on my throat to pull me closer, dragging me with him as he shifts over to his side of the car, until he’s lounging comfortably in his seat and I’m hovering above him, in the same position I was in with Neill, but this time I won’t be stopping. I couldn’t even if I wanted.
