Mine Until Moonrise

by Jennifer Bernard

  Maya kept going, but Lucas hadn’t heard a word after “run.” Hope rushed through him with the force of an ocean current lifting him up. “Megan’s back?”

  She burst out laughing. “No, but it’s pretty obvious you want her to be. What the hell are you doing blocking my doorway when you should be going after her?”

  He frowned at her. ”That’s not—“

  “You come in here asking for my opinion, you’re gonna get my opinion. How long have I known you? How well have I known you? You’re pining after Megan. I don’t even need my police superpowers to see it. Everyone knows it.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Fine.” She threw up her hands and kicked her chair back to stand up. “Lie to yourself if you want, but stop taking up space in my damn office.”

  He stepped backwards, just in time to let Bob the harbormaster past. “Hi Bob.”

  “Hi Lucas. Any word on when Megan’s getting back?”

  He left to the sound of Maya’s laughter.

  On his way out the door, his phone pinged with a text.

  We put another bid on that boat. The message came from an intern at the movie studio that was eyeing the Forget Me Not. When he’d first heard about the potential sale, he’d contacted the studio and offered the intern some under-the-table cash to notify him if there was any more action on that front. As a fellow harbor tenant, he liked to know what was going on with the other crafts.

  Is she going for it? he texted back.

  Looks like. It’s a very good offer.

  Damn. His gut tightened into a hard knot. If she was selling the Forget Me Not, that meant Megan wasn’t coming back.

  Thanks for the heads up, he messaged back.

  Want to know when it’s a done deal?

  No need.

  It wasn’t really about the boat. It was about Megan, and how she was floating away like a boat that had slipped its mooring.

  She hadn’t returned any of his calls. Desperate, he’d even tried Dev. Dev hadn’t answered either, and he hadn’t left a message. He didn’t trust that dude not to take his words and remix them to say something completely different. He was smooth, slippery, manipulative.

  Such a bad match for someone as genuine and idealistic as Megan. Not to mention kind and sparkling and beautiful and brilliant and—

  Holy Mary, Mother of God. Officer Badger was right. He was pining for her. This strange, unsettled feeling that had followed him around ever since she left—this hollow pit in his heart—this constant wondering about her, thinking about her, missing her—Jesus Christ, it was so obvious now. He loved Megan Miller.

  With her forget-me-not eyes and her give-as-good-as-she-got and her devotion to her daughter and her struggle to believe in herself and her homemade cupcakes and her bird nerdiness and the fun and whimsy she put into everything she did…He loved her.

  And he had to tell her. In person. Not only that, he had to win back her trust and beg her to give him another chance. In other words, some serious groveling was about to go down.

  On his way to the airport, he swung by the homestead to drop off Fidget. “Mom, I need you to watch the dog for a few days.”

  “Why?” In her mud boots and a long gray sweater, his mother stood at the fence of the enclosure feeding carrots to the Tibetan yak.

  Jack Holt had always loved carrots. The yak seemed to as well.

  Lucas squinted at the beast; there was a certain resemblance, come to think of it. Something about the shaggy hair.

  “I’m going to a very important meeting. I’m going to see Megan,” he admitted.

  “What about your father’s junk?”

  “What about it? It’s not going anywhere.”

  “Yes, exactly the problem. We’ve been thinking. Let’s put a notice out on the radio and people can come get what they want. The rest we’ll take to the Goodwill.”

  He thought about that for a long moment; it was like spotting a glimmer of sun peeking through storm clouds on the horizon. “I’m okay with that if you are.”

  “We are.”

  He cocked his head at his mother. By “we” did she mean…? He looked over at the yak, which was chewing placidly on a carrot top. No. She couldn’t be referring to the yak. Could she?

  His mother serenely passed another carrot through the fence. Was it his imagination, or did she get along with the yak better than she had with Dad?

  He chased away the absurd thought. “I’ll put Fidget in the house.”

  “Have a good trip.”

  He gave her a quick side-hug, winked at the yak—just in case—and jogged off toward his truck.

  After letting Fidget inside—the old fellow trotted directly to his favorite rug for a nap—he cruised down to the guesthouse to grab his travel bag. As usual, he had to wend his way around rusting cars and piles of “resources” to get there.

  A “come and get it” radio announcement. What a great idea. He didn’t need this stuff anymore. It had served its purpose. It had kept him in Lost Harbor long enough for him to lose his heart to a confounding, compassionate woman by the name of Megan Miller.

  Now he just had to convince her to come back.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  He finally tracked Megan down at a friend’s house in Palo Alto. She emerged from under a cloud of jasmine vines just as he pulled up at the curb. He almost didn’t recognize her in her pantsuit and low-heeled shoes. To add to her professional look, she wore a tooled leather over-the-shoulder bag and her lips moved as if she was rehearsing something.

  Was she applying for a job? Had he missed his chance? Even though she looked so different, he ate up the sight of her. Yes, she still walked with that springy stride; yes she still hunched her shoulders just a tiny bit. Yes, she was still Megan, and she still graced his world. The feeling of relief nearly overwhelmed him.

  He swung out of his rental car, causing her to jump about a foot as she caught sight of him.

  “Lucas? What are you doing here?”

  “I’m…here. To see you.” Ugh, maybe he should be the one rehearsing.

  “Well, this isn’t a good time. At all. I’m already late for an appointment and I absolutely cannot be late.” Looking distracted, she dug in her purse for her keys.

  “I’ll drive you,” he offered. “Brand-new rental car. Very high-tech, I think it might have jet packs instead of air bags.”

  She barely smiled at his joke. “No, that’s okay. I’m meeting with Dev. You don’t want to get in the middle of that—any more than you already did.”

  He winced. “Please. That’s one of the reasons I’m here, to talk about that.”

  “It’s not important anymore.”

  “It’s important to me.” His firm tone finally got her attention. “Everything to do with you is important to me.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered. Was she finally softening? “Come on. I’ll drive and you can yell at me about it.”

  “You’re not the one I want to yell at. Not the only one, anyway. You’re…okay, you’re in the top two. I wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for you.” Despite her words, she was heading in the direction of his car.

  That was all he asked.

  He opened the door for her and she slid into the passenger seat. Quickly, before she could change her mind, he got behind the wheel. The cinnamon fragrance of her hair filled the car. He breathed deeply. “Where are we going?”

  She rattled off an address, which he punched into the GPS that came with the car. In seconds, they were on the road to downtown San Francisco.

  Good. He had at least half an hour to say his piece.

  But judging by the way her nails were bitten down to the cuticles, she had other things on her mind.

  “What situation are you in?” he asked her. “What’s going on?”

  “Dev wants custody. He claims I put Ruby at risk because of the kayak fiasco.”

  Shit. No wonder she blamed him. His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “That’s complete crap. You did
n’t put her at risk. She’s fine. She had an adventure and she reunited an otter family and no harm done. Do you know how many times I fell down the stairs as a kid, or jumped off the roof trying to fly?”

  “Yes, but you’re ‘normal.’ Dev doesn’t want Ruby to be ‘normal.’ He wants her to be exceptional.”

  “She is exceptional. But that doesn’t mean she isn’t a kid.”

  “Exactly.” She fully turned her gaze on him for the first time. He felt her scan his face, as if she was looking for something. “I wish Dev saw it that way.”

  He should have tossed Dev overboard when he had the chance. No. He quickly buried that thought. Dev was Ruby’s father, and she loved him. If he wanted to be part of Megan’s life, he’d have to get used to Dev.

  Holy shit. Was he really thinking this way? Long-term? Permanent? He shot a glance at Megan’s hands, which were twisted in her lap, obsessively pushing at her cuticles. Yes. The answer was yes. He was thinking this way. His heart ached for her. He loved her.

  But she was in the middle of a crisis; still not the right moment to drop that bombshell. He cleared his throat. “So what’s this appointment about?”

  “Mediation. I’m supposed to present my plan for the next year for Ruby.”

  “Which is?”

  She hauled in a long breath. “I sold the Forget Me Not. I’m going to buy a house near a school that Dev found for Ruby. That way I can keep custody even if Dev wins the argument about school. That’s my plan.”

  That sounded like total surrender to him. “I thought you wanted Ruby to put down roots in a community like Lost Harbor.”

  “I did. I do. But Dev—maybe he’s right about Ruby’s school. I don’t want to cheat her out of the education she deserves. We can always visit Lost Harbor in the summer.”

  He fought to keep his breath even and steady. If this was Megan’s decision, he had to respect that. “What does Ruby say about it?”

  “She dreams about Lost Harbor every night,” Megan said softly. “She wants to check on the baby otter. But kids are adaptable.”

  “But Ruby…” He clamped his jaw shut so he wouldn’t say any more. Megan was trying to do her best for Ruby, and the hell if he would get in her way. If she wanted—or needed—to stay here, he’d have to accept that.

  “Ruby what?”

  “Nothing. Like you said, it’s not my business.” Keep your mouth shut, jackass.

  “Oh, now it’s not your business? After you called Dev in the first place? Didn’t you kind of make it your business when you did that?”

  His hands flexed on the steering wheel. “Megan. Try to see it from my point of view. Ruby was missing and you were having a panic attack.”

  “So you call someone who’s over a thousand miles away? What was he supposed to do?”

  He winced under the force of her anger. “He was supposed to tell me how to handle it. I’ve rescued people from drowning, from dehydration, from exposure—but I’d never seen someone have a panic attack like that. I called him for guidance.”

  “Why him?”

  “He was the one who told me you were still struggling with PTSD issues. I figured he would know how to handle the situation.”

  The computerized GPS voice told him to get on the freeway, so he did. If only the voice could tell him what to say to Megan to get her to stop hating him.

  “But I was wrong. He was no help. All he said was that it wouldn’t last long and to keep looking for Ruby. So I called Zoe to stay with you while I kept searching.”

  She dropped her head into her hands, as if the memory of that time was too difficult even to think about.

  “I’m really sorry, Megan. Truly, I am. That’s why I came down here, to apologize. I never intended to cause trouble for you. The custody issue wasn’t even on my radar. I was just trying to help.”

  Her shoulders were shaking. Tentatively, he reached a hand out and touched her shoulder. When she didn’t resist, he rested it between her shoulder blades and gently soothed. “Do you think you can forgive me?”

  “I…you…” She took in a shuddering breath and looked over at him. “You did nothing wrong. Truth is, Dev had a right to know Ruby was missing. We’re supposed to be completely open with each other about anything concerning Ruby. It’s part of our co-parenting agreement.”

  “Okay.” So was he off the hook? Why did she still look so distressed? “Then what—?”

  It’s me,” she blurted. “I failed Ruby when she needed me. She was out there on that kayak drifting with the tide while I was freaking out.”

  “Honey. No.” Steering one-handed, he brushed the hair away from her face. The curve of her cheek was damp with tears. “You didn’t freak out for long, and it was very understandable.”

  “No. I mean, yes, but no. Dev’s partly right. I wasn’t dealing well with the trauma from the shooting. I was running away from it. I didn’t even tell you about it, and you know how much I like to talk things through. I pretended everything was fine and it was a fresh start. But really I was just trying to escape.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and sat up. “That’s another part of my plan. Therapy.”

  He gently squeezed her shoulder. Should he tell her there was an excellent therapist in Lost Harbor? Someone who worked with trauma patients?

  “You want to know something funny?” She took a small mirror from her bag and dabbed the tears off her face. “I went back to where the shooting happened and had a big argument. With you.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah. It helped a lot.” She clicked the mirror shut and turned to him with a shaky smile. “Arguing with you made me feel strong.”

  If only she could see herself the way he saw her. “You are strong.”

  Finally a real smile spread across her face. “I’m going to have to be. Dev is set on getting his way and I don’t know how to stop him. But I can outlast him so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m strong like a weed. I won’t just go away. I’ll always be there for Ruby, wherever she is.”

  The poignant little throb in her voice nearly ripped his heart out. In that moment, he would have opened a vein if it would help her. His love for her pulsed inside him with the force of a solar flare.

  “Megan, I lo—” He snapped his mouth shut. Did she really want to hear that right now? It would be a total distraction. All that mattered was Ruby, not the fact that his heart was breaking into lonely pieces right now.

  “What was that?” She glanced over at him and then waved at a building up ahead. “That’s where we’re going. That tall silver phallic building. Dev’s probably already there charming the mediator.”

  “We’ll be on time.” He pressed down on the accelerator. It was the least he could do.

  “What was it you were about to say?”

  “Nothing, just—” Something tugged at his memory. Something she’d said about Dev and their agreement. “I was going to ask you about what you said earlier. That you and Dev are supposed to be open with each other?”

  “Yes, it’s part of our agreement. We don’t hide anything related to Ruby from each other. Trust and communication are the building blocks for successful co-parenting.”

  “So in other words, when I called Dev about Ruby being missing, I was honoring that agreement even though I didn’t know about it?”

  “Well, yes. I guess that’s true.”

  “Whereas he…” Like a bolt from the sky, a plan came to him. “What are the chances I could say something to this mediator?”

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Ever since Lucas had shown up in Palo Alto, everything had taken a surreal turn. Megan was so distracted with her worry about the session that she hadn’t taken the time to figure out what he was actually doing there.

  Had he really flown all the way from Alaska just to apologize? Drive her to mediation? That seemed over the top. Sweet, but not necessary. Touching. Amazing, even, especially because the sight of him, even the smell of him, made her feel better. As if she had an ally.
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  And now he had some kind of mysterious plan. “The only way Dev will let you in is if he thinks you’re going to help him.”

  “Okay then. Done. That’s our plan.” He jerked to a stop in front of the high-rise. “Better run if you want to get there on time. I’m going to call Dev.”

  She looked at her watch and saw she had a total of three minutes to make it to the twenty-third floor. “Thanks for the ride. And the grovel. I enjoyed that.”

  “I didn’t grovel.” With a grin, she closed the door on his protest. She’d really missed sparring with Lucas. It felt good not be angry with him anymore. In fact, it felt amazing. As if the entire world had been washed clean and now sparkled with joy.

  When she reached the mediator’s office, she discovered that Dev had requested a fifteen-minute delay so that someone else could join them.

  “Are you okay with that?” Eliza asked Megan. “It’s a bit unusual, so if you have any objections I’ll disallow it.”

  “No objections.” She shrugged, trying to look defeated when she was actually the exact opposite. “This is about trust, right? Trust and communication. I have nothing to hide from Dev and I’m sure the same is true with him.”

  “Correct.” If Dev found her statement suspicious, he didn’t show it. He was always so smooth.

  That doesn’t mean he’s a better parent, she reminded herself. Don’t fall into that trap anymore. You know better.

  When Lucas arrived, they all stood for hand-shaking and introductions.

  “We’re not technically under oath here,” said Eliza once they sat down. “But we always behave as if we are. The goal is to sort issues out here in this room instead of putting Ruby in the middle.”

  “That makes sense to me. I promise to tell the whole truth and nothing else.” A crisp white shirt set off Lucas’ dark good looks. With his natural air of authority, he commanded the room without any visible effort.

  “Well,” Eliza laughed. “Consider yourself under oath then.”