Shhh...Mack's Side

by Jettie Woodruff

  “I want to see Gia. Please, can I see Gia?”

  “How good of friends do you really think you were?”

  “What do you mean? I would give my life for Gia.”

  “Why? She sure as fuck wouldn’t do that for you.”

  “Yes she would.”

  Snorting, he assured me she would not. “Let’s talk about the day you decided to ruin my life.”

  “I didn’t want to ruin your life. We didn’t think it would go that far.”

  “Yeah, so this is what I keep hearing. How far did you think it was going to go? I spent seven years in prison, McKenzie. Seven years of my life. Seven years that I can’t get back. My daughter is being raised by another man because of you.”

  “It wasn’t my idea.”

  “Oh, I’m well aware of that. That’s what your problem has always been, right, Mack?”

  I didn’t understand the question, or if I was supposed to even answer. I took a bite of my stale bread sandwich and contemplated his question. “I didn’t know I had a problem.”

  He laughed. “You’ve got a lot of problems. They started when you were—how long have you known Gia?”

  “All my life. Our parents went to school together.”

  “And your parents were best friends, too, right? They still hang out, too?”

  “Nah, Gia’s dad took another job and moved away. They stopped talking years ago.”

  “They should have done it before they subjected you to Gia’s poison. Gia has this addicting poison, permeating people around her. She has a way of sucking you in, giving you a taste to keep you coming back for more. You ever taste Gia?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t do that. It pisses me off. Have you ever tasted Gia? You two ever mess around?”

  I looked away. Cara was laying on my disgusting bed. She didn’t look like Cara. She looked like an old doll, arms and legs straight as boards.

  “Answer me, McKenzie. My patience have been worn thin enough today from your friend already.”

  “Why? What did Gia do?” I asked. I didn’t want to talk about that night. Taking a bite of my sandwich, I swished water around my teeth, hoping he was going to let it go.

  “What is Gia always doing? She’s bad news. You and I both should have stayed away from her.”

  “I love Gia.”

  “Yeah, and she loved to pull your strings. You were nothing more than a peasant. Gia was the leader. Gia told you what to say, what not to say, what to wear, where to go, what boys you could fuck. Tell me I’m wrong, Mack. Tell me that’s not how it was.”

  I couldn’t tell him that. He was right. Gia was always the ring leader. I didn’t mind, I mean, she was my best friend. That’s what friends did, right?

  “Answer my question.”

  “What question?” I asked, looking to see if he was going to get mad because I asked again. He snickered and moved toward me on one knee.

  “Have you ever tasted Gia?”

  Dropping my eyes in shame, I replied with the truth. “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “The night.”

  “The night?”

  “Yes. The night we went to your house.”

  “Let’s talk about that night.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I deserve to know every detail. Don’t you think?” he rasped, moving back to his perched position on the wall.

  “Yes, you do,” I admitted.

  “You know if you would have let her take her own fall, none of this would have happened, or at least you wouldn’t have been involved, right? I know you didn’t come up with all this. That’s why I’m not sold on the whole idea that it wasn’t planned.”

  “It wasn’t.”

  “Why’d you do it, Mack? Tell me everything. Make me understand how a bright, pretty girl like you gets caught in Gia Edwards’ web.”

  “You were going to fail her. You were ruining her scholarship. We had requirements.”

  “So you just agreed to place her name at the top of your paper? Why would you do that, Mack?”

  “She needed the good grade. I didn’t. That’s why all this happened. All because you couldn’t just let it slide. I bet you wished you would have let it slide now,” I said raising my voice. “It was your fault, too.”

  “It was my fault. Not because I gave you both big fat zeroes, but because I got tangled up. I was in Gia’s web, too. I couldn’t stay away from her. Just like you couldn’t stay away from her. Did you ever try, Mack? Did you ever think maybe you needed to broaden your friends list?”

  “Once. We were in the third grade. Gia sat in the back of Ms. Messer’s class. She was mad when Ava Waybright moved there. She didn’t like Ava and didn’t want me to like her either. I did like her though, but not for long. Gia wouldn’t let me.”

  “What do you mean, she wouldn’t let you? Why did you spend your entire life doing what Gia said?”

  “I don’t know. I had to.”

  “You had to not be friends with Ava in the third grade because Gia said you couldn’t be her friend?”

  “Well, she didn’t say I couldn’t be her friend, she just told her something so she wouldn’t talk to me anymore,” I countered, letting my mind wander to the third grade.

  “Stay away from me,” Ava said. I was running after her down the hallway. I wanted to see if she wanted to come over and hangout.

  “Why?” I asked, not understanding.

  “Because of Gia. I’m new here. I don’t want trouble. Go away.”

  “Gia doesn’t care if we’re friends,” I tried, still chasing after her.

  “Gia does care,” Gia said, shoving her to the girls’ bathroom.

  “Gia, stop. What are you doing?” I questioned. Ava was scared of Gia. I could tell.

  “I didn’t talk to her. She talked to me,” Ava assured her, begging for her eight-year-old life. Gia shoved her backward and she fell right on her butt. Gia laughed when her dress went up and we could see her ballerina panties. Gia called her a baby for wearing little girl panties.

  “Spit on her, Mack,” Gia ordered.

  “No. Why? Leave her alone, Gia. She didn’t do anything.”

  “Oh, you want to be her new best friend? I’m sure I can find someone else to fill your shoes.”

  “I didn’t say that. I can be her friend, too.”

  “No. You can’t. It’s her or me. If you want to continue being my friend then spit it her face.”

  I looked down at a scared Ava and back to Gia. I could see the smirk on Gia’s face. She knew I was going to be her friend. I pulled some saliva from my throat and apologized with my eyes. The spit landed in the corner of her eye and she flinched. Gia laughed and pulled me by my arm.

  “Now stay the fuck away from us,” she ordered. Yes, even at eight, Gia talked like that. I’m not sure where she learned it. Our parents didn’t use that sort of language. Not while I was around anyway. I often wondered if something happened to Gia when she was a little girl to make her the way she was. If it did, she never told me.

  “So you let Gia dictate your life from the get go, huh?”

  I didn’t answer Mr. Nichols that time. It didn’t require an answer. I guess I did. He was right. Gia was the puppet master and I did what she did, surrendering my strings.

  “Tell me about the night.”

  “Well, after you gave us both zeroes for cheating, things got out of hand. Gia lost her scholarship, her parents were furious with her, she wasn’t going to school with me anymore, and you were ruining everything. We just went there to talk to you.”

  “Go on.”

  “We were just hanging out in the parking lot. We were angry. We were supposed to be on the field leading our girls. It was the last school show we’d preform. Spring Fling was a big deal and we were sitting in a car while the show went on without us.”

  “Yeah…”

  “Gia acquired a bottle of Gray Goose from her parents. We were sitting in her car, listening to the pep band, bitching ab
out not getting to perform at Spring Fling, you giving us both zeroes, her going to some school, far, far away from me, her dance scholarship that you tore into tiny little pieces, and our lives that you were ruining, all over one little grade.”

  “Mmm hmm,” Mr. Nichols, murmured, wanting me to continue.

  “We were just talking, messing around, I thought, anyway. I didn’t think we were really going to go to your house. We sat there, waiting for you to leave. We thought you were leaving with your wife and kid as soon as the rally was over. You walked to a burgundy SUV with an older couple and your wife. Little Cara was asleep over your shoulder. Gia had this look, like, I don’t know,” I said, thinking about it. “I mean it was hate for you ruining everything, but there was something else. Something about the way she looked at your wife.”

  I lost myself in the crazy life that was mine as a senior.

  “What do you think their sex life is like?” Gia asked me, sitting in her car, glaring evil daggers right through Mr. Nichols’ wife.

  “Their sex life?” I asked, puzzled. We were just talking about how we could make him pay thirty seconds before.

  “Yeah, you think he likes fucking his wife?”

  “I guess so. She’s pretty,” I said, not knowing what I was supposed to say.

  “You think she’s pretty?” Gia asked, snapping her head and the dagger stared at me now.

  “Um, yeah. You don’t?”

  “I don’t think he knows what fucking really means. I think he knows what making love means. Look at her. Her shorts are practically to her knees. She’s probably one of those, do me in the dark type. I bet she doesn’t even suck his dick.”

  Blinking my eyes, I reentered the future, staring at the art work drawn with crayons across the room when Mr. Nichols spoke.

  “You know what, Mack? She’s right,” he said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked with constricted eyes.

  “Gia. She was right about my wife. We didn’t really fuck. We made love. Sarah was a little conservative. She felt a lot of things were sinful. I didn’t mind. I loved her and it was enough. At first. Until Gia, anyway.”

  “Gia?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

  “Yeah. Gia. I was married to Sarah for almost four years. We were happy. We had a beautiful baby girl, a house, nice cars, great jobs, and each other. What more could you ask for, right, Mack?”

  What was he saying? I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to answer or not, so I didn’t. I just sat there, sweaty palms and dry mouth, waiting for him to say what I knew he was going to say.

  “Men have needs. I don’t care how happy a man thinks he can be, without certain things in his life, he can’t be happy.”

  “Like what?”

  “They think they’re happy, but really they’re not,” he continued, ignoring my question. “Then you throw danger to the mix, like your little buddy, Gia. Gianna Edwards is evil, I tell you. She’s addicting. You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you?” I nodded. I knew without needing to analyze it. “I should have known the very first time our eyes locked how dangerous she was. You think everyone has a person, Mack?”

  Mr. Nichols stopped and looked up at me. He wanted an answer this time. “Um, I don’t know. No. I guess not.”

  “I disagree. I think had things been different, had I not been married, I would have waited for Gia. We had a fire that I didn’t share with Sarah.”

  I was going to be sick. I was feeling ill while my blood started to boil in fury. Coming to my feet, I stood. “My whole adult life has been a fucked up mess over, jealousy? Possessiveness? I helped my friend send an innocent man to prison over your fucked up love affair with a student?” I couldn’t breathe. I was so mad. Why hadn’t I seen it? Why hadn’t I known? How could I not know?

  “You don’t get to be mad. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you really think you have the right to be mad at me?” Mr. Nichols asked, coming to his feet, yelling at me.

  “Fuck you! Fuck you and Gia both. How long, Mr. Nichols? How long were you fucking her before I put my life out there for her? I can’t fucking believe this. This had nothing at all to do with grades, losing scholarships, going to the wrong college, or being split from me. This was all about you. Wasn’t it? Wasn’t it, Mr. Nichols?”

  “You went along with it. You fucking sat right there on that stand and LIED!” he screamed in my face. I didn’t care. I screamed back.

  “You were fucking Gia all along!” That’s when he hit me right across the face. I was numb, I felt nothing. My whole fucking life had been a lie and Gia controlled the strings. “When? When did that start? How long before I gave up everything for her?”

  “People aren’t who you think they are, are they, Mack?” he asked, sliding down the wall again. Taking a deep breath, he rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands. He looked tired and weary. Drained of a life lost. I wondered at that moment what was going to happen to us. All of us.

  “I want to see Gia. Please,” I begged.

  “Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s go let her out.”

  “Let her out?”

  “Yeah, she’s been in the a little padded room for three days now.”

  “Why?”

  “She was a bad girl. She’s not crazy in the head like you. She’s crazy in the head in her own fucked up way. She’s not going to care about you. You know that, don’t you?”

  “She will.”

  “Nah, Mack. She won’t.”

  I didn’t understand that. Why wouldn’t Gia care whether I was there or not? She would care. She had to. I played it out in my mind, walking down the hall to where he kept her in solitude. She would squint her eyes from the darkness, see me, and then cry, and embrace me with all her might. I was sure of it. Would I hug her back? She lied. She lied all these years. She betrayed my trust in her.

  I wasn’t sure I could forgive her. With all that we’d been through together and she never told me. We were supposed to be sisters, best friends, always were, always will be. She was fucking him all along. I got tangled in a web of deceit and deception that had nothing to do with me at all. All those pep talks from Gia, telling me how we could move on once the trial was over, how I had just as much right to be pissed as she did, and how we’d continue with our plans, we had to, she said. If we didn’t, it would all be for nothing. Well guess what, Gianna? It was all for nothing.

  It didn’t matter how much I missed Gia being in my life. It didn’t matter how hard it was to know we drifted away like we had. It didn’t matter that we broke promises to always be there for one another. She broke every best friend rule in the book. Granted, she didn’t know about Kyle and never would as long as Mr. Nichols kept his mouth shut. It was all coming out. I was going to let her know that I gave my life for her and she betrayed me. How could she do that? How could she take everything we shared and torch it into a dust of ashes?

  “I can’t wait to hear all about the night you two cried rape. I think I’ll make you tell it while I hold Gia’s mouth shut. I want to feel her reaction while you relive the night that fucked us all,” Mr. Nichols said from behind me. Shit. I didn’t want him dictating how things were going to go down. This wasn’t some family reunion anymore. I wanted to run the show.

  Gia covered her eyes from the light. She looked horrible. Like death. Her naked body was so skinny and the way her eyes derived into her head was ghostly. Her lip was puffy and one of the black eyes was from a fist. That I could tell. He hit her. He hurt her. Her eyes stayed squinted from the light while she slid on the shirt Mr. Nichols tossed her. We stood, staring at each other without a word.

  “What’s the matter? You’re together. Isn’t that what you’ve been whining about, Mack?” Mr. Nichols asked, shoving me toward her. “Come on, it’s a reunion. Let’s have a party,” Mr. Nichols sang. “Don’t you want to embrace each other? How long has it been?” he chanted. Gia and I only stared at each other. Neither of us knew what to say.

  “Wow. You two never sh
ut up in high school. I can’t believe you don’t have one word to say to each other.”

  This was too much. I couldn’t do it. Not like this. Not this fast. I needed time to process things. I needed time to decipher what was real from what wasn’t. This was real. Gia was right in front of me.

  “What’s wrong with you?” Gia finally spoke when I used the ball of my hand to stop the voices. That wasn’t real. I kept hearing Gia calling after me. The wind chimes were so loud.

  “You! You’re what’s wrong with me. You were fucking him the whole time. My life was ruined because of you.”

  Gia snorted with some sort of snide look on her face. “Yeah, Mack. I fucked him. I fucked him so many times it would make your head spin. I understand you now. I know why you chose the older man over the boys. They’re way better at fucking than the high school boys. Don’t you think, Mack?”

  What the hell? I looked right to Mr. Nichols. If he told her, so help me god, I would kill him. There was no sense in it. We’d all been hurt enough.

  “Don’t look at me,” Mr. Nichols retorted, surrendering with both hands in the air. “I didn’t tell her shit. Why don’t you share with us what you know, Gianna,” he taunted, walking around her, letting his hand, slide around her waist. Her shirt lifted and I couldn’t help but notice her bare slit, peaking from below. Looking back to her eyes, I frowned. What did he mean?

  “Go ahead, baby. Tell Mack here what you know.”

  “You think I ruined your life? You think you didn’t play a role in how this all turned out? Poor little innocent, McKenzie, always getting the pity.”

  “Pity?” I asked. What the hell was going on here? We were all crazy. We all belonged in a nut house.

  “Yeah, pity, Mack. I know. I’ve always known. Well, from about the time we were eighteen anyway. Was it before that, Mack? Did my dad touch your pussy when you were a little girl? Is that why he always liked you more than me? Did he play with your little girl pussy?”

  “What do you mean, you’ve always known?”