by Jena Wade
We were quiet for a while, taking in the scenery on a drive that we’d both done more times than we could count in the past year and a half.
Since dating Maddox, I had doubled my visits home. Taking the trip more often and for longer amounts of time. I’d missed him while I attended school, craved his company. I knew he felt the same. We’d skyped often, but it wasn’t the same.
My dad had taken Maddox even further under his wing since we’d become a couple. It seemed like Maddox was more of a manager at the store than a sort-of employee. He still did the odd job around town and filled in at the diner a few shifts a week, but for the most part he worked full-time at the store.
“So, um, babe?” Maddox started, his voice tentative.
“Yeah?”
“It’s not a big deal or anything, so don’t freak out.”
Oh God. This couldn’t be good. I held my breath, trying to remain calm. He had me on the edge of my seat and my grip tightened on the steering wheel.
“What is it?”
He let out a quick breath. “I’m taking a night class at the community college. Just a business course to help with some of the paperwork at the hardware store. Pretty much the same courses your dad took eons ago. I just figured it might help, and I got the local-resident rate since I’ve been living in Milton for two years now, plus I qualified for a grant. I was able to pay the rest with some of my savings.”
He spoke faster than ever before and for a moment I couldn’t keep up.
Words escaped me. What was the right thing to say? Maddox succeeded at anything he put his mind to, that I knew. College wouldn’t be any different.
“That’s great. How long have you been doing that?”
He let another deep breath out in a whoosh of air. “This is my second semester.”
I almost slammed on the brakes, but I caught myself. “What? You’ve been taking courses for two semesters and you never told me?”
He shrugged, sinking into the seat like he could disappear into it if he wanted to. Though, with his bright purple hair, he stood out against the grey interior. “I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. Besides, you never told me about the job until after you accepted it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I told you before I started, not an entire year into it.”
“I told you your dad has been giving me more and more responsibility. I really think he wants to retire.” He paused. “And, I’m seriously considering buying in as a partner.”
I still hadn’t gotten used to that idea. Since he’d brought it up the other night, I’d thought about it a few times, but it didn’t seem real just yet. The sky was blue, water was wet, and my dad owned and worked at the store Always had, always would.
“Dad’s not going to retire.” The man was barely fifty-five, what the hell would he do with his time? Fifty was the new thirty, right?
“You know he’s only working five days a week now? He doesn’t work Wednesdays anymore. Hasn’t since Christmas.”
“Why?” For as long as I could remember dad worked seven days a week. The store was closed Sunday, but he would still do inventory or accounting or something.
Maddox shrugged. “Don’t know. He just came in one day and told me that from now on he wanted Wednesdays off. He’s been meeting with that lawyer in town, Mr. Edwards, as well. Just getting information so far, but he talks about bringing me in as a partner more and more often lately.”
“Wow.” I often felt bad that I wasn’t more interested in the inner-workings of the store. But my parents had always encouraged me to pursue my dreams, not theirs, so it had never seemed to be a big deal. I’d assumed when the time came that my dad would sell the store to someone else. It most certainly never occurred to me that he would pursue a partnership with, well, with my partner.
“You should talk to him, Seth. I don’t want to overstep, but I’m a worried about him.”
“You aren’t overstepping. You’re practically their son. They love you more than me half the time.”
Maddox giggled at that. “Yeah, that’s just because I’m the nice one.”
I reached across the seat and slapped the back of my hand against his chest. “I’ll show you nice.”
He grabbed my hand before I could pull it back. I met his eyes briefly, there I found real concern and a touch of fear. So unlike the carefree Maddox I knew and loved.
“Promise me you’ll talk to your dad. He’s different lately, and I think he’ll talk to you.”
I nodded. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll be home for two months before I move to Pittsburgh. That’ll give me plenty of time to figure out what’s going on with him.” Most likely it was nothing. I hoped it was nothing.
I didn’t want to imagine it any other way.
* * * *
We pulled into the parking lot of Maddox’s apartment a little before seven that night. Too late to go visit my parents, or at least that was the excuse I used when I texted them to let them know we’d gotten home safe, but wouldn’t see them until the morning.
Maddox and I carried our bags up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door, and all the tension from the day’s travel left my body, and I finally relaxed.
Home. This apartment, just one bedroom, and closet-sized bathroom and a kitchenette was my home.
Maddox kept the place pretty cozy. An overstuffed couch filled the living room, along with a computer monitor on the end table that we used to watch movies and shows. A few framed photographs of his family hung on the wall, as well as a few of him and me from Christmas.
I threw my coat on the counter in the kitchen which served as our table. Maddox wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to his chest. I sighed and leaned against him.
Home for sure.
I turned and kissed him. We stood together in the middle of the apartment, our lips pressed together, tongues massaging each other. Heaven. I never wanted it to end. Too often we had to work on a time schedule, our time together limited to weekends and the rare week vacation.
Now we had two and a half months before I left for Philadelphia.
Maddox pulled away first. He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “It’s good to have you home.”
I smiled. “It’s good to be home.”
We moved to the couch. Maddox settling against my chest. We didn’t bother turning on the computer to pull up Netflix. We just relaxed.
After a moment, Maddox said, “You never did say what company you were working for in Philadelphia.”
“I didn’t? JPG Market Strategies. They do—”
Maddox sat up and turned to face me. “Isn’t that the company with the guy who fired his assistant when he found out she was gay?”
Damn it. I did not want to discuss this. “It is, but—”
“Seth. Why would you want to work for that place? They are notoriously homophobic. Seriously, they refused to provide benefits to same-sex couples. They fought it as far as it could go, and finally had to have a court order. By then I’m sure that most of their gay employees had quit. I would have.”
The guilt weighed heavily on me. I’d known this would come up for discussion sooner or later, but I’d hoped it would be later. “I know. I know. I researched the company before I even applied there, but I couldn’t pass up the experience. I’m sure the media hyped it up to be more than it was. Besides, I really don’t plan on discussing the fact that I’m gay. There’s no reason it should come up in conversation.”
Maddox crossed his arms and gave me a pointed look. “Right, so you’ll just never mention when I visit, or when you go visit me?”
“No place is perfect. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me. You’ll let this job put you in the closet? I just don’t understand, we fight so hard for these rights, which should be automatic, and here you are working for the enemy.”
“When did you start caring about political issues?”
Maddox rolled his eyes. “We don’t really h
ave a choice, we either get involved in the issues, or they get decided for us. The real question is why don’t you care more?”
I shrugged, and the tension rose another notch. “I do care. I—It took me a while to come to terms with working for that company. I knew their history. But it’s one guy, out of a large company. I am sure everyone else is fine. And they do provide benefits to same-sex couples now, I read it in their manual.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “Besides, maybe I can make a difference there.” I probably wouldn’t, but it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibilities.
Maddox lips turned in a skeptical smile. “Not if you stay in the closet. I don’t know about this. I know it’s just a year and it will be great for your career, but I have a bad feeling about it.”
I hugged him, ready for this conversation to be over so we could enjoy our time together without worrying about when I would leave. “It will go by so fast, we won’t even realize we’re apart. I promise.” God, I hoped that wasn’t a lie.
Maddox pulled back and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sure it will be fine.”
I stood, grabbed his hand and gestured to the bedroom. “C’mon, I’ve been waiting all day to crawl in bed and cuddle with you.”
He smiled at me and the remnants of the tense conversation left. It was just us. No worries allowed here.
Chapter Three
July
Fourth of July in Milton was a production; arts show, flea market, carnival rides, food trucks, a parade, elephant ears, sno-cones, the whole shebang. The smell of generator oil and fried food filled the town for weeks. Though I had always thought living in a small town was awful growing up, the July 4th picnic was always something to look forward to.
This year the town council had managed to commission a go-cart track, set up in the high school parking lot, and I couldn’t wait to try it out. But first Maddox and I had to survive the parade. Every year, the hardware store sponsored a t-ball team, and every year that team rode on a float during the parade. This year, Dad insisted that Maddox and I drive the truck.
The town voted on a theme for the parade and apparently the current theme was space travel, or something along those lines. Maddox jumped for joy when he heard the news because he had suggested the theme.
The t-ball team stayed up late the night before to decorate the float, all Maddox and I had to do was drive it to the line-up outside the high school and then keep a five-mile-an-hour pace throughout town, so the kiddos could toss candy to the on-lookers. Shouldn’t be too hard. And Maddox had promised me an elephant ear afterward.
“Seth!” Maura jogged down the street toward me, her long blonde hair swishing behind her in a ponytail.
“Hey, Maura,” I said.
She stopped in front of the float and looked it over. Her gaze landed on the paper maché rocket ship and paper cut-out stars. “Looks good.”
I smiled. “Good” was a bit of an overstatement, but it was cute. “Yeah, the kids had a lot of fun. They may have gone a little overboard on the stars.” I laughed at the memory. Maddox and I supervising ten five-year-olds cutting out paper stars and carefully pasting them to the back wall of the float.
The kids had helped with the rocket as well, it had only taken three hours and four large bottles of smelly super glue. Now the red and green rocket ship stood in the middle of the float in all its glory.
“Where’s your dad? He usually doesn’t miss any part of the parade.”
I checked my watch, realizing how close until the start of the parade. “Not sure. He’s supposed to be here. Maddox, too.”
I pulled my cell from my pocket and read the text from Maddox that I’d somehow missed.
Running late. Had to pick up your dad.
“That’s odd. Wonder why dad didn’t just drive himself.”
Maura shrugged. “So, Maddox has been working at the store a lot, huh?” She looked at me expectantly, like I had some juicy gossip to share.
“Yeah. He really likes it. He’s been talking about expanding or doing home improvement courses there.” I smiled. Maddox could talk for hours about plans he had for the store, and I loved to listen. His passion for his ideas turned me on like nothing else.
“Do you think your dad will retire soon? Are you and Maddox going to buy the store?” She spoke so fast, I hardly heard her.
Her audacity didn’t surprise me, as a local business owner, she was bound to be curious about other local businesses, but I wasn’t prepared for the bluntness. My head was still spinning when Maddox pulled up next to us. I didn’t get a chance to answer Maura’s questions. Darn.
“Hey babe.” Maddox said as he slid out of the car. “We brought the candy.”
“Awesome. Everything’s ready here.”
Jordan Porath, the middle school principal and current parade organizer, waved from down the road, signaling us to get moving.
“Go time.”
Maddox grinned and tossed me the keys.
My hand grabbed at the air just as the keys fell to my feet. I ignored the chuckles from my dad, Maura, and Maddox. “Get in.”
Maddox and I climbed into the truck, a bucket of candy for the parade-watchers between us. I shifted into drive and drove at a snail’s pace to our position in the parade lineup. While we waited for the event to start, the t-ball players and my dad all climbed onto the float and took their positions. Through the rear-view mirror I saw the kids all sitting around the edge in their blue team shirts, and my dad in the middle grinning like a big kid himself.
I smiled. Maddox reached over and squeezed my hand. I couldn’t resist the moment, so I leaned across the cab of the truck and kissed him. From outside, the groans of twenty five-year-olds pulled us apart. I returned to my position in the driver’s seat, my grin wider than it had ever been.
“What?” Maddox asked.
I shrugged. “I just never thought I would be able to do this. I mean, I thought I would graduate college, get a job in a big city and just become part of the crowd, probably meet someone or whatever. I never let myself think I would be able to do this here. Where I grew up. Close to my family. With someone I love.”
He squeezed my hand. “It could be like this all the time, you know.”
“I know.” I sighed. “As soon as I’m done with that internship. I’ll find something close by, I promise.”
Maddox smiled at me, but it held a touch of sadness. “I know.”
* * * *
After the parade, we parked the truck and made our way to the center of town where all the action was.
Just outside the hardware store sat the elephant ear and funnel cake truck.
“We have to get one of those.” I nudged Maddox and pointed to the food truck.
“Sounds good. As soon as we get done with the Tilt-A-Whirl.” Maddox grinned and tugged at my hand, pulling me toward the line to the rickety carnival ride.
I groaned. “Do I have to?”
“Yes!” Maddox’s smile split his face. His eyes shone so bright in the summer sun I nearly went blind. It almost hurt to see him so happy. Never in my life had I imagined I would find such happiness so soon.
The best I had ever hoped for was content. To think I would have gone my entire life without knowing and loving Maddox. That thought hurt.
Maddox dragged me to the Tilt-A-whirl and while we waited in line I looked around at the residents of my hometown.
Everyone came to town for the July 4th picnic. They brought out their families to all the local events. This morning was the parade, later there would be a tractor pull, and a pie baking contest, followed by a pie eating contest. Mom always entered the baking competition, and dad always attempted the eating portion, but he only participated for the free pie.
A few people pointed at Maddox and I, not with any hostility, but being the only gay couple in town we were bound to get a few stares. A lot of people smiled. If I had a nickel for every time some said, “You two are so cute together” Maddox and I wouldn�
�t have to work for the next year.
I grasped Maddox’s hand as we stood in line, another thing I never thought I would be able to do. He squeezed my hand back. The ride squeaked and creaked to a stop and it was our turn to get on.
We spun around and around, our hands tightly clasped together.
* * * *
At the end of the day Maddox and I trudged back to his apartment, exhausted. In his hand was the bag of cookies he’d bought at the bake sale, in mine was the stuffed animal I’d won at the ring-toss game.
I collapsed on to the couch as soon as I could, and Maddox fell beside me. I rolled my head to the side to look at him. “Today was nice.”
“It was.” Maddox sighed, his eyes closed.
“You want to go to bed?”
He cuddled next to me, laying his head on my chest and holding me around the middle. “No, I just want to sit here for a while.”
I kissed the top of his head. “Take all the time you need.”
After a moment, he said. “I don’t want you to go next month.”
“Me neither. But I have to.”
Maddox groaned. “I know.”
Another long moment passed. “Your dad wants to meet with a lawyer and start the paperwork for me to buy half the store.”
I tensed, then forced myself to relax, hoping Maddox wouldn’t notice.
“What?” Maddox sat up so that we were looking at one another.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.” He settled back down against me. “I never thought it would be something I would enjoy, but I really do like it. I like helping people, and I have so many ideas on things we can do to expand, but still keep the small-town feel. I want to offer classes in painting techniques or basic home maintenance.”
I sensed there was something he wasn’t saying. “But?”
“But what if it doesn’t work out? Or what if I can’t get the money for it? I mean, I don’t even have a college degree, why would a bank let me take out a loan to purchase half of a business?”
“It will be fine. You’ll be great. By now I am sure my dad has already spoken with the loan officer and all you’ll have to do is sign paperwork.”
