by Jena Wade
“If you say so,” Maddox said, without a lot of confidence in his voice.
“Hey.” I nudged him until he looked at me. “I’ll be there with you throughout the process. We’ll make this work. If this is something that you want, then we’ll make sure it happens. You have been so supportive of me throughout school and with this new internship. I want to do the same for you.”
Tears pooled at the corners of Maddox eyes, and I knew mine were the same. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Maddox laid his head against my chest and we lay together. Content. In love. And we fell asleep.
Chapter Four
August
My last day in Milton was uneventful. We woke up early, both unable to hide from the inevitable day any longer. We lay awake, next to one another for a long while, without saying anything.
Finally, Maddox stood and gave me a smile that told me everything would be just fine. So, I got up too. I made him breakfast—omelets with spinach, mushrooms, and cheddar cheese. We ate in silence for a while. My bags sat by the door, ready to be loaded in to the car that would take me away from home again. Away from Maddox.
Maddox turned on Netflix to give us some background noise. We talked about whatever was on, but I couldn’t remember what we said.
I had an appointment at three o’clock in Philadelphia to pick up my keys from my landlord, so I knew I had to be on the road by ten thirty. The drive was only four hours, but better safe, than sorry.
“You’ll call me when you get there?” Maddox asked.
We stood outside, holding one another as we leaned against my car.
“I’ll call you on the way, when I get there, after I get my keys and before I go to bed.”
He laughed. It seemed forced, but I appreciated the effort.
“I have to cover the shift at the store tonight, I’ll answer when I can.”
“No worries, babe.” I did worry though. What if we grew apart? What if I was offered a full-time position that I couldn’t turn down? No. I’d made a promise that I would come back here, and I would keep that promise.
Get a grip, Seth. You haven’t even left yet. At least wait a week before you freak out.
I kissed him. Hard. Wrapping my arms around him and pulling him as close to me as I could. I wanted to memorize his body, feel his heat against me long after I left. I needed the memory to last a year, keep me sane at night when I knew I would lie awake wanting him near me.
I remembered those nights when I’d lived in Michigan and him in West Virginia. It had been different then, though. I hadn’t known what it was like to live with him every day, all day for days on end.
The last two months had brought us closer together. Solidified our love and respect for one another. Not for the first time, I wondered if this internship was a terrible idea. Did I really need it?
Was it really that important to have that company on my resume?
I wished it wasn’t. But, I wanted to be able to provide for Maddox, so he could do whatever he wanted with his career, or do nothing at all, if that was what he wanted. I wanted to make him proud. I needed the experience to make my way in my career. I took a deep breath, memorizing Maddox’s scent. Just a year. I’ll be back in May. We could do this.
He would visit, I would come home every other weekend. We could make this work.
“I can hear you thinking,” Maddox said against my neck. “Everything will be fine. I love you.”
I sighed. “I love you too.”
He pulled away from me and took a step back. Had he not done that, I may not have ever moved. I opened the door and climbed in to the car. My heart ached, pounding so hard I could feel my pulse in the tips of my ears. Don’t go. Don’t go. Don’t go. I didn’t listen. Instead, I shut the door and smiled one last time at the man I loved, the man whose patience for me surpassed my wildest expectations, and was way more than I deserved. I turned the key, and the car roared to life.
I watched Maddox through the rear-view mirror until I had to turn the corner at the end of the street. Then I passed the city limits, heading out of Milton.
* * * *
I arrived at my new apartment fifteen minutes before I was scheduled to meet the landlord. The neighborhood looked nice enough, the streets were clean, and everything appeared in order. I had only ever seen pictures online, so I hadn’t been sure what I was getting myself into.
The landlord arrived right on time, she gave me my keys and a quick tour of the place. Not that there was much to show. I’d rented a studio apartment. One room, with a closet-sized bathroom and a kitchenette equipped with a hotplate and a toaster-oven.
I missed Maddox. It had only been five hours, but I couldn’t wait for him to visit, or me to go home.
Maybe this had been a terrible idea. Ugh, I hadn’t even started work and I was already dreading it.
I took a deep breath and shook myself, almost tempted to slap my cheek a few times. Snap out of it, Seth. It could be worse. I could be farther away.
It was just a year.
I sent Maddox a quick text to let him know I’d arrived, then snapped a few pictures to send as well.
It took me all of an hour to unpack my belongings and put them away. I didn’t need much, just some clothes and a computer.
Next on my list of things to do was grocery shopping. Then I needed a good night’s sleep. I started work tomorrow.
* * * *
My new office was only a few short blocks away from my apartment, not by accident of course, I had planned it that way. I dressed in my best suit, wearing the tie Maddox had given me for Christmas last year.
Maddox sent me a good luck text that had me walking on air. There might have been a risqué picture with it.
Orientation started at nine a.m. and of course I planned on arriving early. I may have overshot my arrival time, because I spent half an hour just circling the building before I could go in.
A few other interns, (I assumed they were interns) gathered outside the door as well. If I remembered correctly, my new boss said that there would be four other interns hiring in at the same time as me.
Julian from human resources greeted us all with a smile and before I knew it we were all in a conference room doing icebreakers and discussing basic policy.
My boss, Robert McCafferty, came down after lunch and grabbed me and Nicole, the other intern in my department, to go upstairs to meet the rest of team.
Rob was a nice enough guy, but I couldn’t help but feel like there was something about him that I didn’t like. He was taller than me, with short brown hair parted to one side. Not a single hair out of place. Perfectly clean shaven, wearing a crisp white shirt with a mustard yellow tie.
I recalled what Maddox had said about the company when I’d told him about it. Why would you want to work for that place? He’d asked. Why indeed.
“Here’s where you two will be stationed for your internship. I’ll have Carly come over and help you get your computer set up. Do you have any questions?” Rob leaned against the cubicle wall. He smiled, but he checked his watch as he spoke, so I figured he didn’t really want us to ask questions.
“No? Okay. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow morning to discuss your projects for the next few months. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. My door is always open.” He nodded to us both, then turned on his heel and left.
Nicole took the seat to the left, leaving me on the right side of the cubicle usually built for only one person, but I supposed since we were interns they weren’t going to spare the room for us. She flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder and smiled a friendly smile at me. “Guess we’re going to be roomies.”
“Guess so,” I said.
We’d make do, but it would be cramped.
I thought, not for the first time today, that I would much rather be home with Maddox. Stocking shelves at the hardware store would be more exciting than this wouldn’t it?
No. This is what I’d worked my ass off
for. I wanted to be here. I needed to be here. I could do this. I had to do this. For me. For Maddox. For our future.
Five hours later, I walked into my apartment and leaned against the door after I’d closed it.
It had been a long day of meeting people and trying to absorb as much information as I possibly could. My co-workers were nice, well, except for Rob, but he was my boss. I didn’t need to like him, I just needed to tolerate him.
My phone buzzed, and Maddox’s face filled the screen.
“Hey babe.” I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it to the floor. Not how I should be treating my favorite suit, but I was too tired to care.
“Hey! How was your first day? Did you impress them all? Get a raise and offered a full-time position on your first day?” He laughed, and I laughed with him. It felt nice. The tension from the day slipped from my body as I lay on the bed, holding the phone against my ear.
“Unfortunately, no, but it’s still early in the week. We’ll see how tomorrow goes. How are things at home?”
“Great. Same ol’, same ol’. So, what are you wearing?”
“Huh?”
“C’mon. What are you wearing? Still got your suit on? ’Cause that’s hot. Reach in your pants for me.”
My temperature spiked and heart raced the more words he spoke. Damn. We’d talked about phone sex, but I didn’t realize we’d be starting on my second night here.
I did as he said though. I unzipped my slacks and reached my hand inside. “Hard for you already. Been thinking of you all day.”
“Me too.” His voice sounded strained, which only made me harder. This wouldn’t take long. “I miss you so much, Seth. Bed’s so empty without you here.”
“I know.” Pre-cum slicked the way for me, and I jacked myself faster. “You hard, baby?”
“Yeah. Balls ache just thinking about you. Almost there.”
“Me, too.”
“Love you so much. Wish you were here. You always know how I like it.”
I groaned, thinking of how he felt against me. For a moment, it was like he was there, and that was enough to push me over the edge, I came, hard and fast. Based on the ragged breathing coming through the phone, Maddox had too.
After we both caught our breath, he said, “I really called to see how your first day went, but when I heard your voice I couldn’t help myself.”
I smiled. I loved his honesty. “I needed that. Thanks.”
I told him about my day, he told me about his, then we said our goodbyes. I needed to clean myself up and I’m sure he did too.
I cleaned myself off and threw my suit into a pile to be sent to the dry cleaners. Normally I would be able to get at least two wears out of it before it needed to be cleaned, but not this time.
The clock read six, but I was ready for bed. I didn’t actually go to sleep, but I definitely could have.
One day down, countless more to go. My projects were interesting at least, but damn if I didn’t miss Maddox like crazy. It had to get easier, right?
Chapter Five
September
The month dragged on and on. I kept reminding myself thirty days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except when February’s done.
Over and over again, until I could calculate to the very minute when Maddox and I would be living in the same state again.
I tried to go home for Labor Day weekend, but I had a flat tire on Friday that I couldn’t get patched until late Saturday. Maddox had some sort of big sale event at the store that weekend anyway, so we wouldn’t have been able to spend a lot of time together.
So, instead I hung around Philadelphia, getting acclimated to my temporary home. Nicole and I watched fireworks together Monday night. She was the only friend I had in the area. A few of the other interns at work were nice, but we didn’t click.
Nicole’s boyfriend was still in college in Florida, so she and I could wallow in our self-pity and loneliness together.
Even with the short week at work it still seemed to take forever to get to Friday. Although I wasn’t sure what I was looking forward to. Maddox wouldn’t get a chance to visit until October, and I didn’t want to make the drive until I got new tires for the car, which unfortunately I wouldn’t be able to do until I got my first couple of paychecks.
The days were long. I learned a lot, got along with my co-workers. The only person around the office that I didn’t like was my boss, Rob. He just seemed standoff-ish. Though, he was my boss, I suppose I wasn’t supposed to get along with him, that was like a rule or something, right?
Each day he would come into me and Nicole’s cubicle and question us about what we’d accomplished yesterday, what we would accomplish throughout the day and then he would nod, narrow his eyes and turn on his heels and leave. The first time it happened Nicole and I just looked at each other with confusion, now we’ve come to expect it.
Rob was odd to say the least.
One day he leaned against the opening of our cube when Josh, another intern from two floors up came by in a hurry, he bumped into Rob and coffee sloshed, spilling on to Rob’s green button-down shirt.
Rob shrieked as the scalding liquid seeped on to his skin. We all moved at once, offering tissues, napkins, paper towel. Whatever we could find.
Josh, a natural red-head turned so pale he was practically translucent. He apologized at least a hundred times.
“Dammit, you fa—” Rob stopped, took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
We all stood statue still. I knew the word on the tip of his tongue, and it made my skin crawl. I had to have imagined it, right? People didn’t say things like that in a work setting. Not in this day and age anyway.
Finally, Rob opened his eyes. He snatched the napkins from Josh’s hand. “No problem.” His tone said otherwise. “Just be more careful. Please.”
“Yes, sir.” Josh said.
“Back to work.” Rob turned on his heel and stormed out. Others on the floor poked their heads over the tops of their cubicles to see what the commotion was all about. A few gave us reassuring smiles.
That night Nicole and I took Josh to get a drink after work. Poor guy was a wreck the rest of the week, always jumping at his own shadow, sure that Rob would have him fired.
Something about that day unsettled me, and if I’d ever had any hope of making the company feel like home to me, it was dashed. I didn’t want to admit that Maddox had been right, but deep down I knew.
We spoke every night, but I didn’t mention the incident to him. I really didn’t want to hear him tell me I told you so.
The nights… ah. I lived for the nights. I’d get home from work, change into some sweats, make a little dinner and wait for Maddox to call.
He always did around eight. The store closed at seven and he had to ring out the register, and then lock up. He would tell me about his day, his plans. His passion for the store and the town echoed through the phone and warmed my heart. It made me want to go home right now and start our life there.
Soon. Well, soon enough anyway.
We didn’t have phone sex every night, just most. I wasn’t sure which was better, talking for hours on end or watching Maddox stroke himself on the webcam.
October couldn’t get here soon enough.
Chapter Six
October
The day of my birthday turned out to be a less than spectacular affair. We had a cake and ice cream at work. Employees I’d never even met showed up, grabbed cake, and left before I even had a chance to say thank you. They probably didn’t know whose birthday it was, they were just looking for a way to break up the monotony of their day.
Nicole, Josh, and I went out to lunch. They offered to buy, but I declined. I knew how much we were making on our intern salary, and I didn’t want them to do without simply because they wanted to be nice. We talked about work. Well, complained would be a more accurate term.
I liked my job, and enjoyed what I was doing, or rather I enjoyed what I was learning b
y watching others work. I myself wasn’t doing much of the important tasks, just data gathering and writing reports. I knew I had to put in the time and then I would be given some of the more challenging work to do.
After work, I walked home, full from cake and the taco salad I’d had for lunch. Quite the combination.
Maddox hadn’t texted or called all day, which was odd. Most days we texted throughout the day, sometimes he called to wish me good morning. Not today though. Maybe he had big plans for our skype date and didn’t want to spoil it. I didn’t want to think that he may have forgotten about my birthday.
I shoved the key into the door lock. The lock didn’t disengage this time because the door was already unlocked. It swung open before I could think to either open it or step away and call 911.
Maddox stood there, smiling larger than life.
I dropped my bag on the floor. Shocked. Amazed. In love.
It had only been six weeks. Six very long weeks since we had seen each other last, but at that moment it felt like an eternity.
I hugged him. Pulled him close to me as I choked back tears.
“Happy birthday, babe,” he said.
“This… this is the best… I didn’t… I had no idea you were coming.” I backed away from the hug, but still held on to his hand, leading him over to the sofa.
We collapsed next to one another.
“Honestly, I wasn’t sure I was coming until this morning. I’d thought about it. Mentioned it briefly to your parents at dinner on Sunday, but hadn’t made any concrete plans. Then this morning your dad arrived at ten and told me to head out. He’s covering me tonight and tomorrow morning.” He shrugged and smiled apologetically. “I can only stay one night.”
“Thank you. Thank you so much. This means so much to me.” It sounded corny, but I meant every word. I didn’t want to tell him how lonely I was here and how much I wondered if I’d made the right choice, but I am pretty sure he knew. He was just too kind to tell me ‘I told you so.’
I kissed him, as long as I could. Holding him so close to me I wasn’t sure which heartbeat belonged to whom. I pulled away from the kiss, shot him a quick smile then dropped to my knees.
