by T. O. Smith
“Fucking let me go!” I screamed at him, thrashing in his grip, but I knew it was useless. He would never let me do this to myself.
He stayed silent as I continued yelling and kicking, just wanting to destroy something. I needed to alleviate this ache in my chest.
River just effortlessly carried me out of the garage and into the middle of the parking lot, where he finally set me on my feet, gently turning me to face him with a firm grip on my upper arms.
I glared up at him, my chest heaving up and down with anger and sadness. “Who the fuck do you think you are – man-handling me like that?!” I shouted up at him.
He only shrugged at me as he slipped his hands into his pockets, keeping his cool, blue gaze focused on me. I stomped my foot, an enraged scream slipping past my lips as I thrust my hands through my long, dark hair, pulling on the strands.
“Want to tell me what that was all about?” River calmly asked me.
“You can go fuck yourself right along with Tristan and Joseph and the rest of you asshole, biker mother fuckers.” I snarled at him, turning on my heel to storm away from him.
I was done talking about it. I didn’t want to make the pain worse. I just wanted to do my damnest to ignore it and pray that it would go away on its own with some time.
River growled softly and gently gripped my arm, spinning me back around to face him. I glared up at him. “You’re not walking away from me in this state, Darlin’, so until you tell me what’s going on, we’re going to be standing here.” He shrugged, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. “I can stand here all day.” He reminded me.
I defiantly crossed my arms over my chest, watching as his eyes flickered to my chest where my breasts had been pushed up. I deepened my glare. His heated gaze focused back on mine, and he only shrugged again. But those eyes, they were soft and tender – just like they always were for me. I swallowed hard, the fight leaving me just that quickly. I sighed softly, my shoulders sagging in defeat.
“Tristan talked to me in the kitchen a little while ago.” I quietly informed River, my voice breaking.
River stepped up to me, placing his hands on my hips to draw me against him. I leaned into him, needing him to keep me grounded. The ache in my chest eased a little once I was surrounded by him. “Guessing by the mood you were just in, it wasn’t that great of a conversation.”
I shrugged. “It just forced me to relive some shit that I sure as fuck wasn’t trying to,” I informed him. “I wanted to leave my memories with Tristan buried deep down.” I sniffled, more tears falling from my eyes. “I’m so tired of hurting, River,” I told him, my voice cracking. “I just want to be happy. Why is that so hard?”
River gently cupped my face in his hands, turning my head up to look up at him. He gently brushed some of my tears off of my cheeks. “Got to face the rough shit before you can obtain the happiness you want so much.” He told me gently.
I sighed, my bottom lip trembling. “River, will it ever stop hurting so much every time that I look at him, knowing the pain I’ve caused him?” I asked him. “I feel so selfish for wanting to stop hurting, but he just – I just -.”
“Easy.” River soothed. He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips with mine. I sighed softly, that ache easing even more. “It hurts, but it means you’re alive, Darlin’. It means you’re doing the one thing I always want you to do.”
“Live for you,” I whispered, my eyes running over his face.
He nodded, those beautiful, mesmerizing blue eyes locking with mine. “I will be here to soothe all of those heartaches. I know you love him, just as I know you love Joey. And they hold pieces of you that I’ll never be able to claim. I’m okay with that just as long as you continue to live for me, Darlin’.”
I nodded. “Just stay with me,” I begged him, my bottom lip trembling as more tears slid down my cheeks. I don’t know if I would ever survive losing him.
“For as long as you’ll have me.” He promised, just as he always did.
Then, he drew me into his arms, holding me as I finally allowed myself to fall apart.
■ ■ ■
RIVER
I couldn’t fucking stand seeing her like this. I hated that even though they weren’t together, he was still hurting her.
She felt so fucking guilty, but honestly, in my opinion, she did what any woman who felt trapped and needed an escape did – she did what every woman who just wanted to be properly loved did.
She sought out someone who would take care of her, even if it was only for a brief moment.
I leaned down and lifted her into my arms. She curled her arms around my shoulders, burying her teary face in the curve of my neck. Silently, Sam held the clubhouse doors open for me so I could walk inside.
Tristan’s eyes landed on me, his eyes sad as he looked at Adelaide crying in my arms. I clenched my jaw, resisting the urge to knock his teeth down his fucking throat.
I needed to be with her – to take care of her.
Something that he had failed to do when she was his.
Once I stepped into my room at the end of the hall, I kicked the door closed behind us, locking it before I carried her to the bed. She looked up at me through her beautiful, tear-filled eyes as I laid her down on the soft mattress.
I shrugged my cut off, tossing it across the room to the chair in the corner. Kicking my boots off, I also reached down to slide her sneakers off of her feet. She watched me all while those sad tears slid down her cheeks, those perfect lips trembling as she resisted giving into her pain completely.
She was so fucking strong, and she didn’t even know it.
I slid over her on the bed, molding my lips to hers. She moaned softly, her hands sliding into my dark hair. “I’m going to take away all of this pain for a little while,” I promised as I ran my lips over her jaw. I nipped at her earlobe, drawing a breathless whisper of my name from her lips. “I promise that the only thing that will exist right now will be me and what I make you feel,” I swore.
She pressed her palm to my cheek, turning my face to look at her expression. “Just stay with me.” She whispered.
I leaned forward and slid my lips over hers, breathing her in, giving her a part of myself to replace that part of her she’d lost to Tristan.
And then, I proceeded to make slow, passionate love to the beautiful woman who was mine – all broken, torn parts of her.
■ ■ ■
I leaned over the bed and brushed my lips lightly with Adelaide’s before I walked out of my room, quietly shutting my door behind me. She’d fallen asleep a couple of hours ago, and I had stayed with her, holding her as she slept before I finally decided to have a shower so I could go remind Tristan of his place.
I stepped into the bar room, my eyes instantly landing on Tristan and Jesup who were seated at the bar with Sam. I stalked over, my jaw clenched, that familiar rage I’d felt earlier sliding through me like lava. I stood on the other side of the bar, my deadly, blue eyes locking with Tristan’s.
“Let me make something fucking clear.” I snarled quietly as I shoved my hands in my pockets. Tristan glowered at me. “If you ever make my woman that upset again to the point that she feels the need to destroy my fucking garage to alleviate some of that pain she’s feeling, I’ll put a bullet in you myself, do I make myself clear?”
Tristan clenched his jaw, his eyes flaring in anger. “What happened between me and Addy was none of your fucking business, River.” He snapped at me.
My vision tinted red for a moment before I forced myself to bring my temper back under control. Addy would hate me if I fucked him up for hurting her.
I narrowed my eyes at him, my hands itching to beat the fuck out of him. Adelaide’s beautiful face flashed in my mind, calming me enough to restrain myself, but Tristan was treading on extremely thin ice. “It becomes my business when my woman is so fucking upset and tormented by whatever you two talked about that she went on a fucking rampage,” I told him. “Everything surroundi
ng her fucking concerns me. She’s been calm and collected since I came back around, Grim, and I promise you, if I think you being here is going to cause too many fucking problems for her, I will send you right back to where the fuck you came from before you can even say goodbye to her.”
With that, I turned to Sam, arching an eyebrow at him. I was done with that conversation. If he wanted to continue having anything to do with Adelaide, he had better heed my fucking warning.
“Any news on Red?” I asked him. I’d been patiently waiting for Red to pop up. Normally, he would have by now.
It was slightly worrying that he hadn’t yet. Dad hadn’t even called me to warn me that Red was in town. Red always stopped in to see Dad. No matter the bad blood between me and Red, we set it aside for our father.
Sam shook his head. “Nothing yet. He’s laying low – wherever the fuck he’s at.”
I pulled my phone out of my pocket, pulling up my dad’s number to shoot him a text. I knew he would make sure the message got relayed to Red.
Tell Red I said to get the fuck out of my town before I come to hunt him down. This is his only warning, Dad. He fucked with my woman once, and I won’t put it past him to do it again. -River
With that, I slid my phone back into my pocket. Adelaide stepping into the bar room caught my attention. A pair of black slip-on shoes were on her feet with a pair of short, blue shorts and a plain, black t-shirt, her hair swept up into a ponytail. She walked around the bar to me, and as soon as she was within my reach, I drew her against me, pressing a kiss to her temple. She sighed softly, drawing in the comfort that I was offering her before she looked up at me. “I’ve got a shift at the bar.” She informed me.
I blew out a breath, thinking of Red. I didn’t like her working while I didn’t know what the fuck was going on with Red, but I knew she would fight me and do what she wanted if I tried holding her here at the clubhouse where I knew she was safe. That independent streak of hers might eventually give me gray hairs, but I never wanted her to lose it.
I reached up and rubbed her bottom lip with the pad of my thumb, my other arm locked around her waist, holding her against me. “If I let you work tonight, you have to understand that Sam and I will be there with a few other club members to keep you protected,” I told her, making her a deal.
She nodded. “Understood.” She told me, not putting up a fight.
All it took was a compromise. Adelaide wasn’t a hard person to please. You just had to understand her.
I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers before I pulled my bike keys out of my pocket. With her hand in mine, I led her outside to my bike, knowing Sam was following close on my heels with Val and Joseph.
I would let her work, let her have whatever freedom I could while still being able to protect her.
I sent Tristan a dark look over my shoulder as we walked out of the clubhouse, a silent warning for him to stay the fuck away from my woman for the remainder of his stay here.
He may be an ally for my club, but if he kept fucking up with her, I would destroy our alliance and fucking kill him with my bare hands.
NINETEEN
ADELAIDE
I glared at the greasy-haired scumbag that tossed his empty beer bottle at me, making it shatter on the floor at my feet. “Watch yourself.” I snarled at him. “Throwing your fucking beer bottle at me isn’t going to make me get you a fresh one. It’s only going to make me bust the fresh bottle over your fucking head.” I warned him.
Men like him walked into these bars, acting as if they were a fucking God. They saw a woman like me and instantly thought that I was some nervous little bitch who would trip over her feet to please him.
He had the wrong bitch tonight.
He narrowed his eyes at me in a threatening manner. I wanted to laugh because not only was I dangerous by myself, but I knew River would fucking slaughter someone over me. Pretty sure he had already, but that wasn’t a conversation we were willing to talk about.
Rodney was done and over with.
“You better watch yourself, girly, before I make you lose this job, and I ruin your fucking life.” He threatened.
I leaned forward on the bar, a humorless smirk twisting my lips as I got in his personal space. Joke was on him. I was the old lady of the bar owner. As long as I wanted this job, I had it.
“Try it, mother fucker.” I nodded my head towards River who was watching our exchange with unreadable eyes. I knew he would step in if it escalated, but right now he knew I was handling it. I didn’t need a hero, and River knew that. “I’m sure River wouldn’t mind hearing what you have to say about my position at this bar.”
At my words, the man’s face visibly paled, and he swallowed hard before he looked down at the bar, not saying another word. I snorted. “Fucking pussy.” I muttered before I stood back up to my full height, snatching a beer out of the fridge and slamming it down in front of him. “Figure out how to get the top off yourself.” I snapped at him.
My eyes slid over to someone sitting on a stool a couple of feet down from where the asshole was currently sitting. I clenched my jaw, swallowing hard as my eyes met Red’s. The last time I’d run into him, he had cornered me outside, telling me to get him inside that warehouse or he would blow my brains all over the gravel lot.
Red just looked back at me with sad, tired eyes. “I’m not here to cause problems, sweetheart. I just want a beer.” He told me, sounding completely nonthreatening, and that just made every alarm in my head go off.
My eyes flickered to River’s table, but I did a double-take when I realized that he was no longer sitting there. In fact, Sam, Joseph, and Val were gone from the table, too.
Then, I felt River’s hand on my lower back, his dominating aura wrapping around me, protecting me from the sleazebag in front of me. Sam flanked my right, and I knew Joseph was behind me without even having to turn around. Val was leaning beside Red, looking highly amused by the situation.
Glad someone found humor in this shit because I certainly didn’t.
“You’ve got to have a fucking death wish to come in here, Red.” River spoke quietly, but he may as well have fucking shouted it in Red’s face. I felt that the rage in River’s voice when he spoke had the same effect.
Red shrugged. “I knew she was working tonight,” he stated, nodding his head towards me, “and I knew that with me being in town, you wouldn’t let her come to work by herself. I need to talk to you, River.”
River shrugged. “I don’t really give a fuck what you want, Red. I’m a hairsbreadth away from bashing your head on this fucking bar top. The only reason I haven’t is because this bar is separate from club shit.”
“I was given guardianship of my son, River. I need family.” Red rushed out, knowing his time was limited. I straightened up as River stiffened beside me. “I can’t do this shit by myself, man. He’s a newborn, and I’m fucking lost. And I don’t want a kid, River.”
“What the fuck do you want me to do, Red?” River impatiently demanded. “Fucking spit it out already.”
“I want to give you the kid, River,” Red stated bluntly. I could practically feel River about to tell his brother no, but I couldn’t let that happen. The baby was innocent; it had done nothing wrong. “I can’t take care of this baby. He’s still in the hospital. His mother died giving birth to him. I can’t even fucking name him, River. I don’t want any part of him.”
Before River could answer, I jumped in. “I’ll take him,” I told Red. His eyes widened as his eyes locked on mine. “Even if your brother doesn’t want him, Red, I’ll take him. I promise that I’ll take care of him.” I told him.
River turned me to face him. “You sure this is what you want, Darlin’?” He asked me, his voice gruff.
I nodded at him. I couldn’t let that little boy suffer. I knew if River and I took care of him, he would have a chance at a healthy, prosperous life. If the state got their hands on him, there was no telling what would happen to that boy. “River, you and Red
may have your differences, but that little boy hasn’t asked to be brought into this world, and he deserves to have someone that will love him and take care of him.”
River blew out a harsh breath but nodded his head at me. He looked at Red. “We’ll follow you to the hospital.” He told his brother. “Make sure you thank my old lady that your son has a home. She’s not heartless like I am, and she’s the only reason I’m allowing this shit.” I warned him. “Once custody is turned over to Adelaide, you get your fucking ass out of this town.”
He nodded once as he slid off of his bar stool.
■ ■ ■
RIVER
I stood outside of the nursery at the hospital, my arms crossed over my chest as I stood beside my brother, watching Adelaide talk to the nurse on duty about the baby. I think this was the longest that my brother and I had been civil with each other since we were teens.
