The Amish Midwife's Secret

by Rachel J. Good

  Ben took a long swallow. “That’s good.” After one more drink, he set his cup down. “You never answered my question.”

  Leah sipped at her tea to avoid answering, while her brain raced to find an acceptable response. Maybe she should get straight to the point. Lowering her mug to the table with shaky hands, Leah said, “You asked me to think about our relationship, and after much soul-searching, I’ve decided I should never marry.”

  Ben gaped at her, and she wished he’d drink more of the tea. He’d need its calming effects.

  “Have you prayed about that?” he asked.

  “God made His answer very clear to me last week.” Leah choked back a sob. “You’ve often said I couldn’t combine midwifing and marriage.” Midwifery was now her only choice, though she had no idea how she’d cope with delivering babies when she couldn’t have a child of her own. Holding each newborn, seeing the parents’ joy, watching families grow…

  “You’re choosing midwifing over me?” The hurt in Ben’s eyes tore at her.

  “I’m not choosing it over you. I don’t plan to marry any man. I believe God has called me to dedicate my life to…to…” Leah choked up. Why had God given her this dream when every birth would be a painful reminder of her own loss?

  Ben’s chair scraped the floor as he shoved himself back from the table. “I wanted to meet to straighten out our differences.” His voice shook. “I thought we’d come to an agreement about courting and spending time together.” He turned his back to her and walked toward the door. “I never expected this.”

  Leah’s heart echoed his parting words. Neither did I.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Kyle headed out to the waiting room at the end of the day. His spirits always plummeted to see Esther at the reception desk rather than Leah. He hoped Leah was recovering well. At least physically. It might take a long while for her to heal emotionally. He only hoped Ben had been understanding.

  Esther stopped him. “Every year in December, we close the office for two weeks so Martin and I can visit his sister in Florida. I didn’t mention this before because I wasn’t sure about his health, but I’m convinced the visit will do Martin good.”

  “I see.” Kyle would have a vacation for the first time in years. What would he do with himself all alone? His fellowship applications had been submitted.

  “You’re welcome to come with us, of course, but Martin was hoping you’d be willing to be on call while we’re gone. We usually refer everyone to Dr. Mitchell when our office is closed, but it’s quite a drive, especially for our Amish patients.”

  “I’m fine with being on call.” Although he appreciated her invitation, he wasn’t ready to meet other family members yet. He’d barely had time to adjust to his own circumstances.

  “Oh, thank you.” Esther beamed at him. “That will relieve Martin’s mind.”

  After Esther and Martin left on Saturday afternoon, Kyle wandered through the downstairs rooms, lonely and at loose ends. He hadn’t realized how much he’d come to appreciate their company. If he’d let himself, he’d fill his mind with daydreams of Leah, but he cut those off before they started.

  Would it be appropriate to stop by the store and inquire about her health? It didn’t seem Joel had been aware of her surgery, so how could he ask? By the time he’d decided to stop by, using the excuse of buying some vitamins, the shop was closed. He’d have to wait until Monday.

  * * *

  On Monday morning, Leah’s phone rang as she cleaned up after breakfast.

  “Leah? Matthew Groff. Rachel needs you. Sharon isn’t answering her phone.”

  “She may still be at Anna Troyer’s.”

  Sharon had called Leah soon after daybreak to invite her to the delivery, but Leah couldn’t drag the buggy from the barn and hitch up the horse by herself. The surgeon had warned her not to do any heavy lifting yet. Daed had left early to put in extra hours for all the Christmas orders at the woodworking business where he worked in town. Unlike the Amish, Englischers bought many expensive gifts for the holidays, which meant Daed worked overtime hours.

  “My brother should be here soon.” Leah headed out to the shop. “I’ll have him drive me over.”

  The minute Joel arrived, Leah ran out to the car. “Could you take me to the Groffs’ house right away? Also, could you put my bag in the car for me?”

  Her brother looked startled. “I guess so.” He lugged her heavy midwife bag out to the car and hefted it into the backseat. “I’ve never known you to ask for help carrying things before. Has hanging around that Englischer made you soft?”

  “Neh, of course not.” But she couldn’t explain why she wasn’t carrying her own bag.

  When they arrived at the Groffs’, Joel said, “Do you want me to take the bag inside for you?”

  “If you wouldn’t mind.”

  Matthew opened the door, and as soon as he saw Joel lifting the bag from the backseat, he rushed over to take it. He carried it into the bedroom while Leah went to wash up.

  Rachel, her face a bit worried, greeted Leah. “I think the baby turned again. All the kicks have been down low.”

  Sharon and Leah had turned Rachel’s baby several weeks ago. Perhaps Rachel was mistaken. Leah examined her, and the baby definitely had flipped again. At least it wasn’t coming feet first. Sharon had explained how to deliver breech babies. But if Sharon didn’t get here soon, Leah would be doing it for the first time, and she’d be alone.

  Leah tried to ignore the nervous fluttering in her stomach. She needed to convey a calm, professional attitude. The last thing she wanted was for Rachel to panic.

  “Your baby’s in the best position for a breech birth,” she assured Rachel as Matthew entered the room.

  “Thank the Lord,” he said.

  The worry lines on Rachel’s face smoothed out. “That’s good to know.”

  Even with the baby in this position, complications might arise. They could be dangerous, so she should have backup in case anything went wrong. As much as she disliked asking Kyle to come out when he was so busy in the practice, she couldn’t risk Rachel’s life or the baby’s.

  Luckily, he answered on the first ring. With Rachel and Matthew listening, she addressed him formally. “Dr. Miller, I’m at Rachel Groff’s for a delivery. A breech birth.”

  He sucked in a breath. “I’ll call an ambulance and meet you there. We’ll get her to the hospital for a C-section as fast as we can.”

  “I don’t think that’ll be necessary. At least I hope not. I’m hoping to deliver the baby.”

  “Deliver the baby?” Kyle’s voice rose. “That mother needs to be hospitalized.”

  “Maybe not. The baby’s heart rate is normal, and it’s a frank presentation.” If it had been a feetfirst presentation, she would have recommended a hospital birth. “I’m praying all will go well, but I’d like you here for backup.”

  “How far along is she?”

  “She’s almost ready to push.”

  Rachel groaned, squeezed her eyes shut, and panted. Her husband cradled her close and wiped her forehead.

  “Don’t waste any time. Call an ambu—”

  Leah clicked off her phone. She didn’t have much time.

  “My cousin Johnny’s volunteering at the fire station today,” Matthew said. “If I call him, he can alert the EMTs in case we need them.”

  “Yes, we should have them here on standby, just in case.” She tossed her phone in his direction, and it bounced on the bed in front of him. Meanwhile, she’d pray. Pray that everything would go well. Pray for a healthy baby. And a healthy mother.

  “Our second one was a breech,” Matthew informed her after he’d hung up the phone. “Turned out all right. Everything is in God’s hands.”

  Matthew’s stolid acceptance of the situation calmed some of Leah’s anxiety. Still, her hands trembled. Whispering another quick prayer, she tried to remember everything Sharon had taught her.

  * * *

  Stunned, Kyle stood still for
a second, staring at the phone in his hand. He shook it a few times and held it up to his ear to check. It had gone dead. Had Leah hung up on him?

  Surely she hadn’t been serious about delivering a breech baby. He must have misheard. Who did she say? Groff. Rachel Groff. Why didn’t I ask for an address?

  Kyle redialed the phone, but it rang and rang until her voicemail kicked on. He tried again. Pacing impatiently, Kyle grabbed his coat from the hook and put it on. Still no answer. If she was in the middle of an emergency delivery, she might not answer. Maybe Sharon would answer.

  Flicking his finger to scroll through the numbers on his phone, Kyle’s anxiety increased. Every minute he wasted equaled a minute that a baby’s life could be draining away. There it was. Sharon Nolt. Kyle pushed the button as he grabbed his bag and rushed outside. He was punching the code on the office door when Sharon’s cheery voice answered. He hated to waste time locking doors, but with the sample drugs they kept in the office, he needed to be safe.

  “Hello, Dr. Miller. How are you?” Sharon sounded a bit tired but upbeat. Not at all concerned about the medical emergency that was worrying Kyle.

  “I wanted to call the ambulance for the baby,” Kyle said, “but I don’t have the family’s address.” A fine layer of snow drifted down on his head and jacket. Early morning flurries had dusted his car and the roads. As fast as he brushed off his windows, snowflakes coated them again. He got into his car and started the engine. As soon as she let him know where to go, he’d send medical help and head there himself.

  “Ambulance?” Sharon sounded puzzled. “What for? Everything went fine. Anna and her new son are resting quietly.”

  Anna? He was positive Leah had said Rachel. “I, um, thought the mother was Rachel. Rachel Groff.”

  Sharon didn’t answer for a second. A second that stretched into an eternity. A second that could make the difference between life and death.

  “Rachel Groff? Let me check my messages and get back to you.”

  “Just give me the address,” Kyle barked, but the phone had gone dead. Drumming his fingers on the icy steering wheel, he flicked on the wipers as he waited for the car to warm and the phone to ring. If anything happened to that baby…

  The ringtone sounded, and Kyle immediately tapped the button.

  “I missed a call from Rachel earlier.” Sharon sounded out of breath. “It was while I was here at Anna’s. Leah’s there.”

  “I know. She called. It’s a breech birth. I need the address.”

  “Oh, it’ll be her first alone. Don’t worry, though. She’s done a good job with her other deliveries.”

  Those weren’t breech births. “The address,” Kyle said through gritted teeth.

  “Of course. Matthew Groff lives out beyond Esh’s Cabinet Shop. It’s the first right. Sorry I can’t think of the name of that road. I’ve been up all night with Anna, and my brain’s a bit foggy.”

  Kyle gripped the phone so hard the edge bit into his hand. He couldn’t send an ambulance there if he didn’t have an address. He stepped on the gas and backed down the driveway while he waited for the rest of Sharon’s directions. He could at least head toward the cabinet shop.

  “Matthew’s house is the last house on that lane. The pale yellow one.”

  “Do you know the house number?” he asked as he shot down the road, going a bit above the speed limit.

  “Not offhand. Sorry, but it should be easy to find.”

  The car slid a bit on the slippery road, and Kyle slowed down. He’d be no help at all if he was in an accident. “I want to send an ambulance. I can’t tell them to look for a yellow house.”

  Sharon laughed. “Some of them might know if you tell them Matthew Groff’s, but why don’t you head out there first to see if an ambulance is needed. I’ve only ever had one emergency with a breech birth, but that was only because there were other complications with that delivery.”

  Kyle gritted his teeth. Why were these midwives so antihospital?

  “Tell you what,” Sharon said. “Why don’t I meet you out there? I’m only a few miles down the road. We can both provide Leah with backup, although I doubt she’ll need it.”

  “If you could get there as soon as possible, that would be good. Be sure to check the house number and call an ambulance if you get there first.”

  “If it will ease your worries, I’ll do that, but we may find everything has gone well.” Sharon’s voice faded in and out a bit.

  He stepped on the gas. Despite promising himself he’d never speed again, a baby’s life might depend on him getting help in time. If a cop stopped him, he’d have the police lead the way and call an ambulance. If the police knew how to find the house with no address.

  By the time he reached Esh’s Cabinet Shop, though, he’d slowed to a crawl as drifting snow blew across the road. He turned at the first right, but snow obscured the street sign. He prayed he’d found the correct turn, and he followed Sharon’s directions to the end of the lane.

  He rushed to the porch of the yellow house, but no one answered his knock.

  Kyle took a chance and turned the knob. The door opened, and he called out, “It’s Dr. Miller.”

  “We’re in the back bedroom,” a man called out.

  Kyle rushed down the hall and stopped in the doorway. He forgot all about calling an ambulance because Leah appeared so calm and relaxed, as if she’d gotten into the rhythm of Rachel’s contractions. She was urging Rachel to push.

  “One more time.” Leah assisted with the shoulders, and the head slipped out.

  She blew out a loud breath as the newborn let out a lusty cry—the only sign she’d been more tense than she’d let on. Her face glowing, Leah met Rachel’s questioning eyes. “You have a beautiful daughter.”

  Kyle stood back, admiring Leah’s proficiency. She’d delivered a breech baby, handling a dangerous delivery with a skill and a calmness many doctors would envy. In swift but gentle motions, she delivered the afterbirth, cut the cord, checked the baby, weighed her and footprinted her, and noted the Apgar, which was nine. After she’d taken care of the routine duties, she wrapped the baby in a blanket and handed her to the mother, who cuddled her close, while the father sat beside her, one hand smoothing the damp strands of hair back from his wife’s forehead, the other on his daughter’s head. It amazed Kyle that the mother kept her prayer kapp on her head during the delivery.

  “We’ll be naming her Emily Beth,” Matthew said, and his wife nodded.

  While Rachel attempted to feed her newborn, Leah cleaned up and then washed and sterilized her equipment. Kyle helped when he could, but she seemed to have a routine, so he mainly avoided getting in her way. After she’d packed her heavy bag, he offered to take it.

  “You shouldn’t be lifting this,” he said.

  “I know. Joel carried it for me.”

  “Good.” Kyle set the midwife bag by the front door. “Do you have a ride home?”

  “I don’t think Joel will come out yet.” She headed for the kitchen, where she spread her paperwork on the table. “He doesn’t like to leave the shop during the hours it’s open.” Her mouth twisted into a rueful expression. “Unlike me, he won’t miss customers or deliveries.”

  Kyle smiled. He hadn’t minded picking up that delivery. It had given him a chance to spend time with her, get to know her, and diagnose her.

  He leaned closer. “How have you been feeling?”

  She grimaced. “Better than I was, but it’s still painful sometimes.”

  “That’s normal. Many times it takes a month or more—even as much as ninety days—to feel better. I hope it happens much sooner for you.” Common sense told him to leave, but after sharing the miracle of birth with her, he was reluctant to go. He settled in a chair that allowed him to look at her.

  As much as he’d admired her serenity during the delivery, it must have been difficult. “Was this your first delivery since your operation?”

  Glancing up with damp eyes, she met his gaze. “Yes,”
she whispered. “I didn’t think about it at all during the delivery. My attention was so focused on doing everything right. Plus, with it being a breech, the delivery was trickier than usual. Now, though…” Her voice wavered.

  Kyle reached out a hand and placed it over hers. “This is a difficult job to have when you’re hurting over your loss.”

  “It is,” she agreed. “I’m trusting God has a reason for this.”

  He shouldn’t ask, but he did anyway. “How did Ben take the news?” At her obvious wince, he tightened his grip.

  “Not well.”

  He’d like to confront the man who’d hurt her that way. How selfish he must be. “Any man who can’t accept that doesn’t deserve you as a wife.”

  “Actually,” Leah admitted, “I never told him. I, um, just broke up with him.”

  Torn between elation for himself and sadness for her, Kyle said, “That must have been painful.”

  “It was, and it still is, but it wouldn’t be fair to him when I—well, never mind.” Her cheeks grew rosier than the bowl of apples on the scrubbed wooden tabletop.

  She bent her head over her paperwork again. She allowed him to continue holding her left hand as she filled in information about the baby with her right. When she’d completed the forms, she slid her hand out from under his and stood.

  He missed the softness of her hand, the serenity of her presence. He followed her into the living room, where she tucked the paperwork in her bag.

  The sadness in her eyes when she stood left Kyle fighting an impulse to draw her into his arms. Before he could reach out, she rubbed her forehead, and her expression changed to a smile.

  “I can’t go in there looking glum and spoil their excitement.”

  Kyle admired her courage and caring in putting other people’s feelings above her own heartbreak.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Leah wished she could stay here in the kitchen with Kyle. It had been so hard to pull her hand from the warmth of his. The protection and compassion in his gesture meant so much to her, and it brought her comfort. A comfort she sorely needed and missed.