Paper Love

by Jae

  Chapter 9

  When Susanne arrived at the main station at half past six on Saturday morning, she had only one thought: coffee. Preferably the biggest they had, the stronger, the better. Luckily for her, there was a small coffee stand shaped like a giant paper cup directly on platform one, where her train would be leaving from.

  Other tired travelers crowded around it, and Susanne quickly got in line.

  Someone tugged on her coat from behind.

  With a low growl, she whirled around. She so wasn’t in the mood for small talk with some stranger.

  Instead, Anja stood in front of her, looking much too bright-eyed for this early hour on a weekend. “Good morning. Here, I already got you one.” She held out a huge paper cup with a lid.

  Susanne’s grumpiness instantly faded. She practically lunged for the cup, making Anja laugh. “Thank you.” She lifted the lid and peeked inside.

  “Black, no sugar, right?” Anja said.

  “Mm-hmm.” Susanne took a big gulp, not caring that the coffee was almost too hot to drink. “How did you know?”

  “Same way you did. I asked the lady from the coffee shop across from Paper Love.”

  They walked farther down the platform and sipped their respective coffees while they waited for their train.

  Anja bounced on the balls of her feet a few times, and Susanne sensed that it wasn’t because she was cold. An excited anticipation emanated from Anja. She seemed like a kid about to embark on a school excursion. Under different circumstances, it might have gotten on Susanne’s nerves, but now she had to smile. Maybe the coffee offering had gentled her mood.

  It wasn’t long before the ICE to Frankfurt arrived. They boarded the high-speed train and took their reserved seats next to each other.

  Anja put down her backpack, took off her coat, and leaned past Susanne, who had taken the window seat, to hang up her coat on a hook.

  Susanne pressed back into her seat to make more room for her—and froze. Suddenly, she felt wide-awake, even though she knew the effect of the caffeine couldn’t have set in yet. She had gotten used to seeing Anja in jeans and simple cotton blouses at work, but today, Anja’s coat had covered an entirely different outfit. A formfitting, cream-colored blouse was tucked into a beige corduroy skirt. Susanne’s gaze trailed over a short, chocolate-colored blazer that emphasized Anja’s slim waist and matched the color of her eyes. As Anja sank into her seat, the skirt rode up a little, revealing a bit of pantyhose between the hem and the top of her knee-high, brown boots.

  Oh God, those boots. Okay, it wasn’t really the boots she was looking at; it was Anja’s legs, toned from riding her bicycle to work every day. Susanne’s mouth went dry, so she took another sip of coffee. If she had ever thought of Anja as the conservative type, that opinion flew right out of the window. It wasn’t that her outfit was daring or overly revealing, but something about it was just…wow. This was going to be a long day.

  She must not have done as good a job of not staring at Anja’s legs as she had thought, because Anja asked, “What is it? Am I overdressed…underdressed…what?” She eyed Susanne’s black pantsuit and her light-blue blouse.

  “Oh, no, no. Not at all. It’s fine. Perfect, really.” Careful, or she’ll think you like her outfit a little too much. She focused on folding down the tray table in front of her and putting her paper cup down on it. When Anja followed her example, she breathed a sigh of relief since the tray now covered part of Anja’s legs.

  “Oh. Good. It took me half an hour and a phone call to decide on an outfit.” Almost under her breath, Anja added, “Not that my phone joker was much help.”

  “Who did you call?” Susanne asked before she could censor herself. “Miriam?”

  Anja nodded but didn’t offer any information about what kind of fashion advice her friend had given. If Miriam had told her to wear this outfit, Susanne wasn’t sure if she should hug her or kick her should she ever see her again.

  As the train started to move and quickly gained speed on its way north, Anja leaned sideways to reach past the tray table and rummaged through her backpack, obscuring her face.

  Was she blushing?

  Finally, Anja straightened and placed an apple, a banana, several muesli bars, and a plastic container on her tray table.

  Susanne glanced into the still-open backpack, which held more containers, brown paper bags, and a bottle of water. “Don’t they sell food at the stationery fair? I haven’t packed anything.”

  Anja unwrapped a muesli bar. “Don’t worry. They do, but it’s probably overpriced, and I bet there won’t be many vegetarian options. I know you can survive on air and lo—uh, on air alone, but I can’t.” She offered half of the muesli bar to Susanne, who declined with a shake of her head.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Susanne asked.

  “Nothing. Just that except for that one time when you had half a sausage on a bun, I’ve never seen you eat at work.” Anja took a hearty bite of the muesli bar.

  When Susanne thought about it, she had to admit that it was true. “Hmm. I guess I sometimes forget to eat when I’m stressed or busy.”

  “I’m the complete opposite.” Anja finished off the muesli bar. “When I’m stressed, I can’t stop eating.”

  She paused, and they both looked at the empty wrapper.

  “Is this,” Susanne pointed back and forth between them and then pointed in the direction they were traveling, “stressing you out? I could have gone with Uncle Norbert, you know? You didn’t have to give up your day off to go with me if you—”

  “Oh, no, no,” Anja said quickly. “I’ve always wanted to go to Paperworld.”

  Just not with me? Susanne wondered.

  Anja removed the lid from a container and held it out to her. “Cookie?”

  With a wry smile, Susanne reached for one. “Thanks.”

  As the train compartment around them fell quiet, most passengers dozing, reading, or working on their laptops, their conversation ended too. Maybe it was better that way since Anja didn’t know what to talk about with Susanne.

  When the train reached Offenburg, the first of a handful of stops along their route, Susanne’s cell phone rang. She pulled it from the pocket of her blazer. With a quick “sorry” to Anja, she lifted it to her ear. “Are you checking up on me?” she asked instead of a greeting. It sounded affectionate, not scolding, though.

  Was it her girlfriend?

  But she had told them she didn’t have a girlfriend when Miri had asked.

  “Friday? No, that sounds great. Can’t wait.”

  A female voice came through the phone, but Anja couldn’t make out what she was saying. Not that she was eavesdropping or anything.

  “Don’t be stupid,” Susanne said. “You don’t need to book a hotel. Of course you can stay with me.”

  So a woman would visit Susanne next weekend—and she would be sleeping over. Anja didn’t care, of course.

  When Susanne ended the call, Anja quickly busied herself with unwrapping a second muesli bar.

  Susanne put the phone away with a smile on her lips but didn’t offer an explanation.

  “If you’ve got a friend from Berlin visiting, I can give you a few pointers about must-see spots in Freiburg.” What are you doing? She definitely hadn’t meant to say that.

  “I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Susanne answered. “Unlike me, my womb mate has been in Freiburg several times in the last few years. I assume Uncle Norbert has shown her around already.”

  “Womb mate?” Her brain felt as if it were operating in slow motion—not a good thing considering this day could make or break the survival of the store.

  Susanne chuckled. “Yes. That’s what a friend once called my twin sister. Somehow the name stuck.”

  “Aww. That’s kind of cute.”

  “I think so too, but should you ever meet her, don’t tell her that. She’s an incorrigible flirt, so you wouldn’t want to encourage her.”

  The wrapper slid from An
ja’s hand, and she quickly picked it up and stuffed it into the tiny garbage compartment between the seats in front of them. “Does that mean your sister is gay too?” She peeked over at Susanne to judge her reaction. “Um, please feel free to tell me it’s none of my business.”

  “No, that’s fine. It’s not like it’s a big secret. Actually, Franziska is bi.”

  “Oh, cool.” For some reason, Anja met few people who, like she, were in the middle of the spectrum, so even the mention of another bisexual person felt reassuring. “I’m actually bi too.” She blurted it out before she’d had time to think about it.

  It was probably just her imagination, but it seemed as if the entire train car went completely silent.

  The two businessmen across the aisle looked up from their laptops to sneak a glance at her, and Susanne stared at her.

  Great. Her face burned, and she fought the urge to hide beneath the tray table.

  The conductor saved the day as he stepped into their compartment, interrupting the awkward silence. “Tickets, please!”

  Anja scrambled for the printout of her ticket in her backpack, while Susanne pulled her smartphone from the inside pocket of her blazer.

  “Good morning.” The conductor scanned their tickets, nodded at them, and continued to the next passenger.

  Anja took her time returning the ticket to her backpack.

  “So tell me,” Susanne said, making Anja hold her breath in expectation of what she would ask, “what should we make sure to see at the fair?”

  Now it was Anja’s turn to stare. Her unplanned coming-out to Susanne didn’t even rate a comment? She wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or disappointed. Oh, come on. Why should it matter? This is a business trip. She pulled her notebook from her backpack and opened it to the page of notes she had taken at home. “For one thing, there’s this manufacturer of really cool notebooks from Croatia…”

  Susanne dashed after Anja, weaving around passengers and their baggage on the crowded platform. Their train had been late, so now they had to hurry to make the connecting regional train that would take them from Frankfurt main station to the trade fair.

  This wouldn’t have happened if they had taken the car, as she had suggested. But then again, if they had taken the car, she might have caused an accident when Anja had casually revealed that she was bi.

  Oh, come on. It’s hardly that big of a surprise, is it? But somehow suspecting it and hearing the words from Anja were two very different things.

  “Slow down,” Susanne called. “There’s no need to run. Even if we miss our train, there’ll be another one in about ten minutes.”

  “That’s ten minutes we won’t be spending at Paperworld.” Anja glanced over her shoulder. Her eyes glittered with anticipation.

  Susanne held up her hands. “Far be it from me to stand between a stationery addict and her drug of choice.”

  Anja led her down a set of stairs to the underground platforms. The screeching of metal on metal announced an incoming train.

  “Damn! I think that’s ours. Come on! We can make it!” Anja grabbed her hand and pulled her down an escalator.

  They jumped the last meter onto the platform, and Susanne was glad she had chosen to wear flats, not high heels.

  The train was still there, waiting with its doors open, and they rushed through them.

  Anja quickly let go of her hand, as if only now becoming aware that she had grabbed it.

  Susanne curled her fingers around one of the metal poles instead. Breathing hard, she looked around for free seats, but they were all taken. Apparently, a lot of people had the same genius idea of taking the train to the fair. Other passengers squeezed in after them until Susanne started to feel as if she were using the subway in Tokyo, where professional pushers were employed to stuff humans into subway cars. She muttered a curse as people jostled her from all sides, forcing her to take a step back. Now she had to stretch out her arm almost painfully so she could reach the pole, and the fingers of a stranger brushed hers in search of a spot to hold on to.

  Anja wasn’t faring any better. A guy was pressed against her backpack so tightly that she squirmed uncomfortably.

  “Hey, why don’t you back off a little?” Susanne snarled at him. “You’re so far into my friend’s personal space that you really should buy her dinner first.”

  Anja gave her a startled look, either because she wasn’t used to being defended or because Susanne had called her a friend without meaning to.

  “And where do you suggest I go?” The guy gestured behind him, where other people were squeezed in just as close.

  She sent him a glare but had to admit that he really had nowhere to go.

  Finally, the doors closed, and the train jerked forward.

  Susanne clutched the pole more tightly, but Anja didn’t have anything to hold on to, so she was tossed forward, against Susanne. She grasped Anja with her free hand, keeping her on her feet.

  A startled gasp escaped Anja. Her warm breath brushed Susanne’s collarbone where she had opened her coat, sending shivers through her body.

  “Uh, sorry.” Anja tried to move back, but the people surrounding them had immediately taken advantage of the freed-up space and had crowded closer, so now Anja couldn’t back up. “Um…”

  “It’s okay.” Susanne forced a smile and tried to ignore how much more than just okay her body found this unexpected situation. “Better me than that guy. At least this way, you have a chance of me buying you dinner afterward.”

  Anja let out a nervous chuckle and managed to move back a little so that their bodies were no longer touching all along their lengths. But each time the train changed its speed or another passenger jostled one of them, their fronts brushed, and the temperature in the train seemed to skyrocket.

  The train slid to a stop at the next station, jolting Anja backward. She grabbed the lapel of Susanne’s coat.

  Susanne spread her fingers over Anja’s back to steady her.

  They stood frozen in this semi-embrace for several seconds, just staring at each other.

  God, if she bent her head, she could—

  Are you fucking crazy? You’re on a business trip. On a train surrounded by dozens of stressed-out, potentially homophobic strangers. With an employee! She cursed the fact that Anja had told her she was bi. Maybe if she hadn’t, keeping a professional distance—even if it was just a figurative distance—wouldn’t have been so difficult.

  Susanne struggled not to sound breathless. “I don’t think this is what Uncle Norbert had in mind when he said we should use the train ride to get to know each other better.”

  Anja burst out laughing, making Susanne smile, and the tension between them receded a little.

  The doors banged shut without anyone having gotten on or off, and the train accelerated away from the platform.

  Slowly, Anja loosened her death grip on Susanne’s lapel and then let go completely. “Next stop is ours.” She sounded a bit hoarse.

  Susanne bit back a thank God and just nodded. By the time they made it out of here, the pole she gripped would probably have permanent indentations from her fingers.

  The doors hissed open, and passengers popped out of the train like corks from champagne bottles, clearing space so Anja could finally move. While she was glad to be able to breathe more easily, her body protested as it lost contact with Susanne’s.

  The four-minute ride from the main station to the trade fair premises had seemed to last an eternity, but her libido insisted that it hadn’t been nearly long enough.

  They followed the stream of people to the entrance of the massive exhibition complex, dropped off their coats at the coat check, and then made it through the bag check to have their tickets scanned.

  She fell into step next to Susanne as they headed down a seemingly endless hallway. It appeared as if they were entering another world. Her body buzzed with excitement, and Anja had a hard time telling if it was because she was about to enter a hall full of stationery or because she
was still overly aware of Susanne’s proximity.

  She snuck glances at her from the corner of her eye, trying to figure out if she felt it too, but Susanne had put on her fully focused business mask and glanced at the fair navigator app she had downloaded to her smartphone. “Where do you want to go first?”

  Anja consulted the paper floor plan she had grabbed at the entrance. The trade fair was spread out over several floors of four exhibition halls. “How about hall 6.1? That’s where most of the stationery is.”

  “All right.” Susanne pointed to a sign above. “It’s this way. Let’s just hope it’s not as crowded as the train.”

  Yeah, let’s hope so. Her poor body wouldn’t be able to take being pressed close to Susanne and breathing in her amber-and-a-ghost-of-vanilla scent for hours.

  Oh my God! They had been in hall 6.1 for less than half an hour, and Susanne’s head already felt close to exploding from all the things it had to take in.

  Illuminated desktop globes rotated to her right, display cases to her left showed off fountain pens that looked as if they cost more than her BMW, and notebook decorations dangled from the ceiling above her. Never in her life had she seen so many stationery and office products in one place and certainly not the kinds that were displayed here. There were pencils smelling of lavender, pens made from recycled Nespresso pods, and scissors shaped like the Eiffel Tower.

  Bright colors and the background noise of conversations surrounded them, taxing her senses.

  Anja flitted from booth to booth like a bee discovering the first blooming flowers after a long winter. She touched a notebook here and a writing utensil there, as if she needed to connect with it all. Her cheeks were flushed, either from excitement or from the warm, stuffy air in the hall.

  Susanne followed a step behind her so she could watch her take it all in. For her, that was much more fun than looking at stationery.

  One vendor had set up walls around their booth, leaving just a narrow entrance. It looked like a tiny castle, but instead of keeping people away, it drew them in since the walls were one huge coloring picture depicting a city scene.