Paper Love

by Jae

  He continued to look at her. “I know it had nothing to do with your mother forbidding you from visiting after the divorce; otherwise, Franzi would have stayed away too.”

  “No, Mama would never do that.”

  Uncle Norbert paled beneath his beard. “Then was it something I did?”

  “No!” Susanne leaned against the counter and sighed. “It had nothing to do with you, okay? I just… I needed some distance.”

  “Distance? Susi, we only saw each other once a year—if that—even before the divorce. How can you need distance from that?”

  Susanne studied the grains of the wood floor.

  The bell above the door jingled, and Anja’s warm presence filled the store. “Nobby!” She rushed to him, put down the two paper cups, and gave him a careful hug. “It’s so great to see you. How are you? Did the doctor say it’s okay for you to come back to work?”

  Susanne watched them smile and talk. Uncle Norbert was right. Anja had been much more of a family member for him than she had been. No wonder he was so protective of her.

  Anja looked back and forth between them. “Am I interrupting something?”

  The familiar twinkle returned to Uncle Norbert’s eyes. “I get the feeling I was the one interrupting something.”

  A flush rose up Anja’s neck and colored her cheeks, but she didn’t try to deny it. She wrapped her arm around Susanne’s hips and held on tightly. “Susanne and I… We’ve grown close. But please don’t get your shotgun out, okay? We agreed to take it day by day and to see where it goes.”

  Uncle Norbert’s forehead wrinkled. “Are you really fine with that?”

  “Yes, I am. Don’t worry about me.” Anja gave a soft squeeze to Susanne’s hip, then let go and kissed Uncle Norbert’s bearded cheek before wheeling the first carousel outside.

  “Sorry,” Susanne mouthed because she had promised to take care of the carousels.

  Anja smiled and mouthed, “It’s okay.”

  As Susanne watched her wheel the carousel through the door, her uncle’s question resounded in her ears. Was Anja really fine with their agreement?

  Uncle Norbert cleared his throat, drawing her attention back to him. “Why did you never give me that chance?” He waved his hand toward where Anja had disappeared. “I would have been fine with even the occasional, casual contact.”

  Susanne reached for her coffee cup to have something to do with her hands and took a sip of the hot beverage. “It wasn’t about you. After seeing what my father put Mama through with his immature ways, I wanted to distance myself from him as much as I could.”

  “I’m the first to admit that my little brother often acts like a carefree kid with no responsibilities, but not everything about him is bad, you know? Not everything about this side of the family is bad.”

  “I know.” Susanne stared into the black depths of her coffee. “I think I threw out the baby with the bathwater, and I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have punished you for things he did. I’m sorry, Nobby. Uh, Uncle Norbert.”

  A smile deepened the lines around his eyes. “Nobby’s just fine. I don’t want to be stuffy Uncle Norbert who you call only out of obligation once a year. Will you give me a chance to be Uncle Nobby?”

  Unexpected tears burned in her eyes. Jesus, what was that? The past two nights with Anja had probably made her much more emotional. Not trusting herself to speak, she just nodded.

  Uncle Nobby pulled her into his arms.

  His cologne—the same brand that her father had used when she’d been a child—wafted around her, and for the first time in years, she allowed herself to enjoy it.

  Anja stepped back into the store, and when Susanne looked at her over her uncle’s shoulder, Anja gave her a smile so warm that Susanne felt as if she were the one hugging her, not Uncle Nobby.

  When Anja wheeled the second card carousel outside, Uncle Nobby let go and regarded Susanne. “So you and Anja, hmm?”

  Susanne shuffled her feet. “Yeah.”

  “I should have seen it coming. She was fascinated by you from the start.”

  Susanne couldn’t help beaming. “She thought I was a controlling asshole out to fire her.”

  Uncle Nobby chuckled. “That too.” He sobered. “Just don’t lead her on, please. I don’t want to see her—or you—hurt.”

  “That’s the last thing I want either. I can’t make any promises since I have no idea where I’ll be in a month, but we’re talking openly about that. I…” She glanced through the glass door to make sure Anja was still outside and couldn’t hear her. “I really like her.”

  Uncle Nobby patted her shoulder. “Good. Then you should know that her birthday is coming up.”

  “Really? When?”

  “The first of March.”

  “That’s next Thursday—the day the website and the new store will go live! She never mentioned it’s her birthday when we set the date with the web design firm.”

  Uncle Nobby shrugged. “That’s Anja.”

  “What about me?” Anja asked as she returned to the store.

  “You’re the person responsible for calling Herr Schneider to tell him his order is in,” Uncle Nobby answered smoothly. “You know the old grouch gets grumpy if I’m the one calling. I think the only reason he orders a new notebook every week is so he’ll get to talk to you.”

  Susanne couldn’t blame him.

  “Well, whatever works to help save the store, right?” Anja grinned and picked up her coffee. “I’ll go call him.”

  When the door to the back rooms clicked shut behind her, Susanne turned back toward Uncle Nobby. “I need a present.”

  “Maybe a refill for her traveler’s notebook.” Uncle Nobby gestured at the center island.

  “No.” Susanne knew what she wanted to give her. She glanced at the locked display case, where a dozen expensive fountain pens gleamed like diamonds. Her gaze zeroed in on the one in the middle. “I want to buy the BMW pen from you.”

  “BMW doesn’t produce pens. You mean the Porsche ones?”

  “No.” Susanne walked over and tapped the middle of the case. “I mean this one.”

  “The Meisterstück Solitaire? Are you sure? It’s our most expensive pen.”

  Susanne hesitated but not because of the price tag. Expensive fountain pens were like jewelry, Anja had said to the customer looking for a Valentine’s Day gift. If she gave Anja a pen for her birthday, would she be making a promise she might not be able to keep?

  It’s a pen, idiot, not a wedding ring. Even if Paper Love could be saved, Anja would probably never make enough money so she could afford to blow two thousand euros on a pen. This was something Susanne could give her, and she wanted to buy Anja the pen with an intensity that scared her a little.

  “How about this one?” Uncle Nobby tapped the case above the writing instrument to the left of the BMW pen. “It’s a Montblanc too, with the same great nib, and I can sell it to you for four hundr—”

  “No,” Susanne said firmly, decision made. “It has to be this one. And don’t you dare sell it to me below cost. I’m paying what’s on the price tag.”

  Uncle Nobby stared at her. “Wow. You weren’t kidding, hmm? You really like her.”

  “Yes, I do. So will you sell me the pen?”

  “I might not be the best businessman in the world, but I’d never say no to a sale like that. I’ll slip it into your laptop bag when Anja is on her lunch break.”

  “Thanks. I’ll transfer you the money tonight.”

  They nodded at each other.

  “When she opens that particular present, she’ll either kiss you or kill you,” Uncle Nobby predicted.

  “Let’s hope for the former. I’m pretty fond of my life…and of her kisses.” She sent her uncle a grin, but doubt began to take root. Would Anja be able to accept and enjoy the gift when she couldn’t promise her anything else?

  She took a long gulp of coffee, hoping it would help against the lump in her throat. Guess I’ll find out next week.<
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  This morning, Anja had looked forward to the evening, when she could have Susanne all to herself, but as closing time approached, she wasn’t so sure she had anything to look forward to.

  Susanne had been on the phone or sending emails back and forth with the web design company for most of the day, and Nobby had been around as a chaperone, so they hadn’t had much time or opportunity to talk, much less exchange a quick kiss. So far, Susanne hadn’t mentioned any plans for this evening, nor had she invited Anja back to her apartment.

  Come on. Don’t be so clingy. She hadn’t been home since Saturday. She knew she should go back to her own place and resume her regular life, including walks around the lake with Miri. At least that was what her brain said. The rest of her didn’t share that opinion. She wanted to enjoy every second with Susanne since she was very aware that they were on borrowed time and the clock was ticking.

  As Susanne walked past her to drag in the card carousels, she smiled and touched Anja’s hand.

  The fleeting touch sent a rush of warmth through her body, and she smiled back, forgetting her brooding thoughts.

  When the door closed behind Susanne, she reluctantly turned back toward her own task, which was locking up the display case. She inserted her key—and then froze. Since she knew every single pen in that case so well, she immediately noticed that they had been rearranged and one of them was missing.

  Anja whirled around. “Nobby! The Meisterstück Solitaire is gone!”

  Nobby looked up from behind the counter. “I know. I sold it when you were out for lunch.”

  “What? Wow. That’s, um, great.” It was, wasn’t it? Selling an expensive fountain pen like that would definitely bolster this month’s numbers. But a part of her couldn’t help being sad. They’d had that pen for a year, and she had admired it every time she walked past the glass case. Now she felt almost as if she’d lost a friend.

  The bell jingled as Susanne stepped back into the store. Her gaze zeroed in on Anja immediately, and a look of alarm shadowed her face. She let go of the carousel, crossed the room with long steps, and clutched Anja’s shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

  Anja forced a smile. “Nothing. Nobby sold the pen.” She knew she wouldn’t have to clarify.

  “Hey.” Susanne wrapped both arms around her and held her close for a moment. “Don’t be sad. I’m sure it went to a very loving home.”

  “Oh yeah,” Nobby threw in. “Couldn’t have gone to a more pen-crazy person.”

  “I know I’m being silly.” Anja pressed her face to Susanne’s shoulder for a little longer.

  Susanne rubbed her back. “No, you’re not. How about I take you out to dinner at Kashmir to help distract you? We could run by your apartment on the way back and pick up some clean clothes for you.” She lowered her voice. “That is if you want to stay over again.”

  Anja didn’t even try to play it cool. She gave Susanne a warm smile. “I’d really like that. Could we ask Miri if she wants to come? I don’t want her to think I’ve forgotten all about her now that I have you.”

  “Sure.” Susanne squeezed her softly before letting go and turning toward her uncle. “Want to come too? If you don’t like Indian, we could go someplace else.”

  Nobby laughed and raised both hands. “Oh no. I’m sure you will enjoy yourselves much more without me. Besides, sitting for any length of time is still a pain in the ass—literally.”

  He shooed them out of the store with a promise to be careful on his way home.

  Anja threw one last glance back over her shoulder to the place in the glass case where the Meisterstück Solitaire had been, then she forgot all about pens for the rest of the evening.

  Chapter 20

  Ten days later, Anja unlocked the door to her apartment with the same feeling she sometimes got when returning from a long vacation—a vacation she hadn’t wanted to end. In the nearly two weeks since she and Susanne had made love for the first time, they had slept apart only a handful of times.

  Why did today of all days have to be the one that Susanne had other plans? She had hurried off right after work, saying she had to take care of something important.

  Well, Anja couldn’t complain since she hadn’t told her it was her birthday. Miri hadn’t called either, and even Nobby seemed to have forgotten about her birthday. She couldn’t blame him. He was still recovering from his accident, and with the new website and a lot of new products launching today, they had run around like chickens with their heads cut off, too busy to think of anything but work.

  Sighing, she closed the door behind her and kicked off her shoes.

  When she opened the door to the bedroom/living room, a chorus of “surprise!” greeted her.

  Anja clutched her chest. “God, you guys! What are you doing here?”

  “Throwing you a surprise party! Isn’t it obvious?” Miri blew a pink-dotted party horn.

  Her ears ringing, Anja stood in the doorway and stared. Her small apartment was full of balloons—probably Miri’s idea—and people. Nobby was there with his not-quite girlfriend; Franzi had come all the way from Berlin, and her favorite neighbors had dropped by.

  Anja went from guest to guest, getting hugs and kisses from everyone. Finally, there was only one person left to greet: Susanne stood in the middle of all the chaos and regarded her with a quiet smile. “Happy birthday.”

  “You…you planned all of this?”

  “Yes. Well, Miri and I, since she’s the one with a key to your apartment. You didn’t really believe we had forgotten your birthday, did you?”

  “No, I… Um, yeah. So this was the important thing you had to take care of tonight?”

  Susanne nodded. “I wasn’t lying. I’d say my girlfriend’s birthday is very important.”

  Girlfriend. Anja liked being called that. She sank into Susanne’s embrace and kissed her softly. “Thank you.”

  “Oh, don’t thank me yet. This isn’t the real party. Since there’s not enough space here, we thought we’d kidnap you and take you to your favorite restaurant.”

  Anja chuckled. “Good idea, especially since there’s probably only a yogurt and a jar of mustard in my fridge.”

  Twenty minutes later, they were all seated at a table next to a huge painting of the Taj Mahal.

  “My sister tells me there’s a lot to celebrate today,” Franzi said once they had ordered.

  Anja’s gaze darted to Susanne. “There is? You ran the numbers already?”

  “I’ve been looking at the data until right before you entered your apartment,” Susanne said. “I knew neither of us would be able to sleep without having at least some idea of how things are going.”

  “So?” Anja nudged Susanne’s knee with her own. “How does it look so far?”

  “Very encouraging. Not only are the February numbers much better than January and even December, but the new website is off to a really great start too. The blog is getting a lot of hits, we have about fifty subscribers to the newsletter already, and the first orders via the webstore are coming in.”

  Anja barely resisted the urge to bounce up and down on her chair. “Does that mean Paper Love won’t have to close?”

  Susanne held up her hands. “Too soon to give any definitive answers.” When Anja gave her a pleading look, she relented. “But if we keep up the momentum, we should be fine.”

  Anja threw her arms around her. “That’s the best birthday present I could wish for.”

  “Wait until you open your presents,” Nobby said.

  Everyone pushed brightly wrapped gifts across the table at her.

  Maybe adults weren’t supposed to love getting presents, but Anja did—at least when they came from people who knew her well and had put some thought into what to get her. And her friends clearly had. She slid her hands over a year’s worth of refills for her traveler’s notebook from Nobby. Her neighbors surprised her with a vegetarian cookbook, and Miri had gotten her a box of hard-to-find ink bottles. Finally, she unrolled a sheet of ivory paper and
found a gift certificate for a beginner’s ropes course from Franzi.

  She looked at each of her friends in turn. “Thank you, guys.”

  “There’s one more,” Susanne said quietly. “This one’s from me.” She put a small, rectangular package in front of Anja.

  The laughter and chatter at the table stopped. Everyone else seemed to hold their breath along with Anja. Why was her heart pounding all of a sudden? She knew it wasn’t a piece of jewelry or something like that. It took some effort to steady her hands as she carefully peeled away the tape.

  Susanne had used too much of it, as if she’d wanted to make extra sure the gift wrap would stay put. Had she been nervous too?

  Finally, the paper fell away, revealing a slender, black box with a familiar white logo. Anja gasped. “You didn’t get me a Montblanc, did you? Susanne…”

  Susanne smiled. “Open it.”

  With trembling fingers, Anja opened the lid.

  On a bed of white satin lay a silver-and-dark-blue fountain pen with tiny, engraved letters gracing the barrel.

  Anja forgot how to form words. Her mouth moved, but her vocal cords didn’t produce sound. “You…you didn’t,” she finally got out.

  “Looks like I did.”

  “That’s…that’s crazy.” Anja still stared back and forth between the gleaming pen and Susanne’s face.

  The waiter chose that moment to start serving the food, and they quickly cleared the table of presents to make room for the deliciously smelling dishes. Anja kept hold of the box with the pen.

  “Is it okay?” Susanne whispered. “You said you would buy it in a heartbeat if you could, and I wanted you to have something special for your birthday. But if you don’t feel comfortable accepting it…”

  “It’s a lot of money. I won’t be able to give you a gift like this.” Would they even last until Susanne’s birthday, which, according to Nobby, was in November?

  “I don’t want money to ever matter between us.” Susanne’s gaze was fierce. “Even a gift with a smaller price tag can be special if it’s picked with l—” She bit her lip. “Um, with care.”