by Rona Halsall
‘Get a room!’ someone shouted from across the aisle, amidst raucous laughter, and they pulled apart, her cheeks burning.
Dan leant his head against hers and whispered, ‘I’m sorry if you’re disappointed, really I am, but I think you’ll love this place we’re going to. It’s a little gem, and a few years ago, the Daily Telegraph listed it as one of the best unsung beach holiday resorts in Europe. So, it can’t be that bad, can it?’
A tangle of emotions clogged her throat, preventing her from responding.
He picked up his phone. ‘I downloaded some pictures. Let me show you, then you might feel better about it.’ A few taps and swipes later and they were looking at images of a little fishing village, Es Grau, all whitewashed buildings with a handful of bars and restaurants, nestled on the edge of a large bay. Behind it was pine woodland and a lake, part of a large nature reserve that stretched down to the capital city of Mahón, which, according to Dan, was only six miles away. Rocky headlands curved out from the beach into the sea, and there was Colom Island, sitting like a stopper in the mouth of the bay.
Curiosity got the better of her, and in spite of herself, she started to relax. It wasn’t as bad as she’d imagined. In fact, it really did look quite lovely and unspoilt. Not a hotel in sight, or sunbeds, just a few lines of boats bobbing in the natural harbour created by the bay.
‘And this is where we’ll be staying.’ An image of a rustic villa popped up on the screen, with a large patio looking out over the sea. ‘It’s just a bit out of the village. About a mile, I think it said, so it’ll be a leisurely stroll in and there’s nobody to disturb us. No other holidaymakers for miles and miles.’ He showed her a screenshot from the Google Earth satellite map, so she could see the geography of the place. Her smile broadened, and despite her initial disappointment, she felt a little buzz of excitement. It did look like a romantic hideaway. And isn’t that all you need on a honeymoon?
She turned and looked at him. ‘Self-catering? You’re not going to make me cook, are you?’
‘We can live on bread and cheese. I might even take you out a couple of nights.’ He was teasing her now and she leant into him, looking through more of the pictures. The beaches did look quite white and the sea was almost turquoise. It was close enough, wasn’t it? A romantic hideaway with nobody to bother them. A little world of their own for a week. Exactly what they needed to cement their marriage.
She snuggled closer, breathing in the scent of him, enjoying the warmth of his body next to hers, listening to his steady breaths. He was going to be with her for the rest of her life. Plenty of time to get to the Maldives. Plenty of time for a whole myriad of adventures.
Once she’d accepted the change of plans, convinced herself that it didn’t matter, she felt the exhaustion of the day creep through her body. She fell asleep, only waking when the flight attendant gave them a gentle nudge and asked them to prepare for landing.
It was dusk now and a gorgeous sunset burned orange in the western sky, laying a streamer of molten gold across the surface of the sea, the island below them glowing like a gemstone. Her stomach flipped as the plane banked, and the world tilted, excitement flaring in her chest. It’s going to be wonderful, she told herself, almost convinced that she didn’t mind the change of plans, but a bead of hurt still rolled around her mind.
* * *
Once they had finally claimed their luggage, Dan pulled her close, his eyes scanning the bustle of people snaking out of the terminal. Wide awake now, she was starving and imagined a cosy restaurant, or a tapas bar, her mouth watering at the thought. She liked nothing better than to eat out. Given the amount of time she spent preparing meals for her gran, she loved trying dishes she would never make at home.
‘What about finding somewhere to eat while we’re in town?’ she asked, but Dan was hurrying again, making her jog alongside to keep up. He didn’t reply until they were outside and he’d opened the door of a waiting taxi.
‘Phew, got there first. Sometimes you have to wait ages.’ He beckoned for her to get in and then slid in next to her, talking to the taxi driver in Spanish before he addressed her question. ‘I thought we could get to the village, have something there.’
Chloe frowned, looking back at the airport. ‘We’re not hiring a car, then?’
‘Plenty of time to do that. Let’s just get to the villa, shall we? I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty whacked after all that excitement.’
Visions of a leisurely dinner in a romantic restaurant evaporated, but she held her tongue while the taxi navigated out of the capital and into the darkness of the nature reserve that lay between the town and the village. It was bordered on the right by farmland. Olive groves by the looks of things, but on the left, it was all pine woodland, and a black wilderness enveloped them now the sun had gone down.
When they reached the village, Dan had a quick conversation with the driver in Spanish before turning to her. ‘I’m just going to grab some food from the shop, then the driver will take us up to the house. I thought a romantic night in would be just the job. Won’t be a tick.’
He was gone before she could say anything, leaving her feeling like a child left in the car while their parent dashed off to do a mysterious job, never told exactly why they couldn’t go along too.
Chloe bristled and shuffled in her seat, but she decided that he was a man with a plan and it was probably best to leave him to get on with it. Who knew what goodies he would buy, what meal he planned to prepare. It was all part of his surprise, his desire to please her. Yes, she reassured herself. Nothing to get uptight about.
It was strange to hear him speak Spanish so fluently and it reminded her how little she knew about her new husband. In fact, whole swathes of his life were still a mystery to her, which should have thrilled her – the idea that there was so much of him to get to know; instead, new worries hatched in her mind, pecking away at all the good things she knew about him and leaving a trail of concern in their wake.
Her heart started to race as all the what-ifs started to make themselves known, all the terrible, horrible possibilities that might come from marrying someone you’d only met two months ago. She could hear herself hyperventilating, started feeling light-headed until her train of thought was broken by the taxi driver, who turned in his seat, concern in his eyes.
‘You okay?’
She took a deep breath and forced a smile, nodding because her voice would surely betray her. Instead, she trained her eyes on the shop. She could see Dan at the till, packing things into carrier bags. He was smiling and chatting, and she could see the shop assistant laughing at something he’d said. How could she have even one negative thought about this lovely man? What’s wrong with me? Well, there was no simple answer to that one. For once in her life, she’d followed her instincts and taken a risk. She had a lifetime to find out all about him, and how exciting would that be? All those little surprises, and she was sure that most of them would be good.
He’d definitely surprised her today, with the way he’d taken control. He’d never shown that side of himself before and, in fact, had tended towards the opposite, letting her make decisions, especially where the wedding was concerned. Today had been quite different, though. Today, her opinion didn’t seem to count, and a little knot formed in her stomach, hard and uncomfortable. She reminded herself that he was just trying to make amends for changing the honeymoon without telling her, wanting to let her relax while he looked after her. She settled back in the seat as he walked towards the car. Yes, that’s what’s happening. He was being a gentleman, taking charge of everything so she didn’t have to worry.
It was something she had yearned for, wasn’t it? Someone to take control so she could have a break. So why had she been on the brink of a panic attack? What was really bothering her?
Four
Five weeks ago
Chloe smiled at herself in the mirror as she caught her reflection. My goodness, what a change. Her skin was glowing, her eyes sparkling, even
her hair looked different. She laughed at herself. Look at you, you loved-up idiot. Take that stupid grin off your face. But it was a permanent fixture these days, now that she and Dan were a couple.
To say their relationship was intense would be an understatement. She had never talked to another human being so much in her entire life. Not even her best friends. There was so much to discuss, so much to share, to laugh about. She could say absolutely anything to him without fear of embarrassment, and it felt so liberating she could hardly contain her excitement. It was like she’d been living in black and white and the world had just burst into colour.
Love.
She was definitely in love.
At last she understood what it felt like and knew with certainty that she’d never experienced it before. Her past relationships were nothing more than going through the motions compared to this. Dan was both the same as her and the opposite all rolled into one. His strengths were her weaknesses and vice versa, but they shared the same sense of humour, liked to do the same things. He was an exercise enthusiast, just like her, and in the three weeks they’d been together, they’d been out running, hillwalking, swimming and cycling. They were even considering training for a triathlon – a new challenge for them both and something they could accomplish together.
She checked her watch and jogged round the corner to where her gran lived, aware that she’d have to get a move on if she was going to be back in time for Dan. She let herself in and bounced down the hallway.
‘Hi, Gran!’
‘I’m in here.’
Chloe popped her head round the lounge door to see her gran in her usual place at the end of the sofa, watching an early evening quiz programme, her knitting needles clacking at a steady rate. She looked up and smiled, her eyes still alert, even if her body was letting her down these days. She had a chronic chest complaint and Chloe came to do physio with her every morning before work, then returned in the evening and sorted out food for the following day. She had it down to an efficient routine, and the freezer was stuffed with meals she would make at the weekend, in batches, when she had more time.
‘You off out again tonight?’ her gran asked, studying Chloe’s new jeans and the floaty top she had bought at lunchtime. She’d never been bothered with clothes in recent years, usually sticking to the stretchy gym clothes she wore for work, but now Dan had come into her life, she’d realised what a drab wardrobe she had and decided it was time to brighten herself up. There was nobody to tell her what to wear anymore – her previous boyfriend had been very particular and had liked to choose her clothes for her; now she had the freedom to create her own style, which felt rather weird. Whatever she wore, Dan seemed to approve, and every time he commented on how gorgeous she looked. That was another thing about him – he always knew what to say to make her feel good about herself.
‘We’re going to an Ethiopian restaurant tonight.’ She watched her gran’s frown deepen. ‘Never been before so I’m looking forward to it.’
‘Very nice,’ her gran said, her tone holding a note of disapproval. ‘That’s every night this week, isn’t it? In fact, if I’m not mistaken, you’ve seen that man every night since you met him.’
Chloe couldn’t hide her smile. Her gran made it sound like a bad thing, but it made Chloe sparkle inside to think that, for Dan, being with her was his favourite thing. It had never happened before. With her exes, there had always been nights for the boys, or for footie, or weekends playing golf. Or going off on stag dos. Or times when her man had just needed some time to chill on his own.
‘Do you know what, Gran? I think he might be “the one”.’
Her gran flicked her a glance and carried on with her knitting. ‘The one?’ She gave a dismissive humph. ‘You youngsters. I don’t know what’s in your heads these days. It’s all a load of romantic twaddle. Relationships take work and patience and a great big dollop of forgiveness.’
‘Wow, Gran. Sell it, why don’t you?’ Chloe’s lips twisted with annoyance and her patience started to fray. ‘I don’t know why you can’t just be happy for me for once.’ She heard her gran tutting and knew she still intent on punishing her for the past. Goodness knows, Chloe had tried to make amends, but it had never been enough. You can’t make up for someone dying, really, can you? Especially when it was all her fault. The guilt crept back, tightening the skin on her scalp, stinging her eyes, and she turned for the door before her gran could see. ‘I’ll just get your tea started. Sorry it’s a quick in and out tonight for me. But I’ll pop round tomorrow morning and we can have a proper catch-up.’
‘Oh no, you don’t need to bother yourself tomorrow.’ Her gran’s reedy voice quivered. ‘I’m sure you’d rather be with that boyfriend of yours. I know I’m second best these days.’ Chloe took a breath and turned to protest but her gran carried on speaking. ‘Anyway, I’ve got visitors. They’re taking me out for the day.’
Chloe frowned, surprised. Gran never has visitors. Maybe she’s making it up? She knew her gran wasn’t always completely honest with her, always looking for a vulnerable spot where she could place a verbal barb. Chloe called her bluff. ‘Oh, that’s nice. Anyone I know?’
Her gran gazed at her, mouth opening and shutting as though she was working out what to say. ‘Lucy and Mark. They’re both coming, but I thought it best if we went out on our own. After last time.’ Chloe bit her lip. Her gran looked down at her knitting, fiddling with the stitches on her needle, smoothing them into a neat, evenly spaced line. ‘I haven’t seen them for a while so I’m really looking forward to it. We’ve got a lot to discuss.’
Lucy and Mark. Chloe’s sister and brother. She hadn’t seen them for a couple of years and had no wish to bump into them anytime soon. Not after their behaviour last time they’d met.
It had been their gran’s eightieth birthday and the three siblings had agreed that the day was about her and they should put their differences aside, for which Chloe was supremely grateful. Lucy had always been bossy, being the eldest, with Chloe in the middle and Mark a couple of years younger. Now that their mother had passed away, Lucy had decided to take on the role of family matriarch, and Mark had made his place in her shadow, always willing to follow her lead and back her up.
Two against one.
Her mind travelled back to their last meeting and she gave an involuntary shudder.
* * *
The day had started off better than Chloe could have hoped, and they managed a trip out to the pier without a cross word or a snide comment. Chloe had even thought they could be reconciled, could all be a family again. Unfortunately, after a couple of glasses of wine at dinner that evening, her sister’s demeanour changed. She waited until the end of the meal, when their gran had gone to the loo, to say what was really on her mind.
‘Don’t think we haven’t noticed what your game is.’ She leant across the table, eyes narrowed.
Mark sat back in his seat and nodded, his hands playing with his napkin on the table.
Chloe tensed and frowned at her sister. ‘I’m not sure what you mean, Lucy.’
Lucy nodded towards the toilet. ‘When the old girl pops her clogs, that house is worth a mint. We know why you’re round there all the time, never leaving her alone.’
Chloe bristled, and her voice got a little louder, shrill with indignation. ‘Wait a minute. I’m her carer. She’d struggle without me. In fact, she’d have to pay someone to look after her.’
Lucy nodded, a disbelieving smile on her face. ‘Oh, right. She seems pretty capable to me. Very sprightly for her age.’
‘Because I look after her.’ Chloe tapped her chest. ‘I keep her mobile, keep her chest clear and free from infections. That’s why she’s doing so well.’
‘Nothing to do with trying to get her to leave everything to you, then?’
Chloe stood up so quickly, her chair fell backwards. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! I won’t have you saying such horrible things to me.’
Lucy’s eyes widened, like she was the inj
ured party. ‘Gran says it gets very claustrophobic with you lurking there all the time. I don’t think she likes it.’
Chloe glared.
Lucy glared back. ‘I think she’d be better with a real carer. Wouldn’t be so upsetting.’
Mark piped up then. ‘You remind her too much of what happened. We don’t think it’s good for her. We think you’re making her unhappy.’ He looked her straight in the eye. ‘Maybe it’s time to just leave her in peace.’
Lucy nodded, an edge to her voice now that cut through the sounds of the other diners. ‘You might as well. She told us today that she can’t bring herself to leave you anything in her will after what you did. It’s all going to be shared between me and Mark.’
Her words stabbed at Chloe’s heart. She wasn’t caring for her gran to earn her inheritance. She was trying to make amends. Why can’t they see that? At this point, Chloe realised that the restaurant had fallen into a hushed silence and several people were looking at them. She watched her gran weave her way back through the tables, her expression making it clear that she knew some sort of ruckus was going on and she wasn’t pleased about it.
Chloe’s blouse stuck to her skin. She glared at her brother and sister, wondering how they had become so bitter and resentful. But she knew. In her heart, she knew, and a part of her really couldn’t blame them.
A waiter appeared at her elbow before she could formulate a fitting response.
‘Is everything okay?’ the waiter said as he looked between the three of them.
Chloe dug in her handbag, got out her purse and slapped a couple of banknotes on the table. ‘That’s for my share,’ she said, between gritted teeth. ‘I know when I’m not wanted. I’ll leave you all to it. Then I can’t be upsetting you, can I?’
And with that she stormed out of the restaurant, several pairs of eyes following her.
