by Rona Halsall
Not now, she decided, hoping that her breakfast wasn’t going to make a reappearance. I just want to enjoy a bit more fun before we get down to discussing anything like that. Because she knew there were compromises to be made, negotiations to be had, and it would all get a bit heated if they couldn’t find common ground.
‘I think you’d just get used to it,’ Dan said, breaking into her thoughts. ‘Once you’d slowed down and adjusted your expectations. I think you’d find pleasure in different things.’
‘Hmm.’ Her eyes slid away from his and took in the island ahead of them. It wasn’t that she didn’t like the idea, it was just that she had responsibilities. Ones that she couldn’t shed in an instant. Caring for her gran was absolutely non-negotiable. Then there was her job, which she really enjoyed and had no intention of giving up. They hadn’t talked about that either.
The tone of the engine changed as the boat slowed, the landing jetty not far away now. In the future, when her gran was no longer with them, would she consider moving abroad? She decided to open her mind to the possibility, play along for a while and see what she felt about the idea.
‘Earth to Chloe,’ Dan said, giving her a nudge. ‘We’re here.’
Chloe flashed him a smile. Only one full day left before they went home. Maybe this was as good a time as any to hammer out some of the essential details of their married life. She’d just have to get her timing right, because there was no storming off to be done here and it was a few hours until the water taxi would be back to collect them. She took a deep breath and reached for Dan’s hand as she got out of the boat.
They found a path leading over the island, stopping at the highest point to have their picnic and enjoy the views back towards the mainland. On either side of the bay, low rocky cliffs edged the sea, which lapped at the shore in little crested waves, like pieces of lace on the water. Viewing the land from here, it all looked surprisingly green, with the shrubby dunes on one side and the wooded slopes on the other, ending at the top of low, rocky cliffs.
‘Isn’t that magnificent?’ Dan said as he laid out the picnic blanket and started unpacking the rucksack they’d brought. ‘Seriously. Just imagine living here. You’d have this great big playground all year round and the town just six miles away. Honestly, it only took a quarter of an hour to get to the supermarket, and that was on the bus. I only got a taxi back because it started raining.’
He passed her a chunk of bread and the cheese they’d bought from the village shop, then dug around in the rucksack for olives, spicy sausage and the bottles of water.
The bread smelt delicious and she was so ready for food she felt like her stomach had turned itself inside out. She pulled off a piece and stuffed it in her mouth, followed by a chunk of cheese.
‘Mmm, that cheese is amazing. Why does it always taste better when you’re having a picnic?’ Now that she’d started eating, Chloe couldn’t seem to get it down fast enough.
‘I could get a job in a bar or a restaurant.’
She looked at him, eyes narrowed. ‘What? You’re not kidding about this, are you? You want to live here?’ She could hear the disparaging tone in her voice and cringed, aware that she’d have to tread more carefully.
He shrugged. ‘Play along with me…’ He leant across and kissed her cheek. ‘Let’s pretend life’s simple and we could decide to stay.’
She laughed and chewed a couple of olives while she thought. ‘Okay. But what would I do in this wonderful world of yours?’
He handed her a couple of slices of sausage and another piece of bread. ‘You could… find a job at the hospital. Or do private consultations for holidaymakers, at one of the resorts maybe, or travelling round the island. Or look after the elderly people. Lots of ex-pats in Menorca, you know.’
She laughed.
He looked at her, his eyes studying her expression, she thought, assessing how she felt about the idea. ‘I’m sure you’d have no trouble getting a job even though you don’t speak Spanish yet. But I’m fluent, so it would be easier for me to pick up something quickly.’
He was trying to sound nonchalant, but there was a graveness to his voice that brought a surge of panic to her thoughts. Am I going to have a say in this, or has the decision already been made? She stopped chewing and stared at him.
‘I could earn the money at the start.’ He handed her a bottle of water, unaware of the effect the conversation was having on her. ‘We could have a house, a whole house, not just a scabby little apartment.’
She bristled. ‘My apartment isn’t scabby.’
He nodded. ‘Your apartment is definitely scabby. And it smells. Of damp.’
Her eyes widened. She’d always thought of her apartment as cosy and had thought he felt the same. ‘It does not,’ she said, defensively, the attack feeling personal now. Oh God, what else doesn’t he like? She suddenly felt vulnerable. Is he going to try and change me, change my whole life? Surely that wasn’t what marriage was about. She moved herself away from him slightly and took a deep breath, getting ready to stand her ground because she sensed there was more to come.
He carried on talking, oblivious to her discomfort. ‘You’re probably just used to it. But honestly, it really does smell pretty horrible.’
‘Right. Good to know.’ She turned away from him and gazed at the view so he wouldn’t see her hurt, hoping they’d come to the end of that particular conversation.
‘Just think, you could eat this lovely fresh food all the time. And we all know that the Mediterranean diet is the healthiest on the planet. That could be us. Super healthy.’
She snapped her head back to look at him, angry now that he could be so insensitive and not even realise. ‘Oh yes. And I suppose we could have a lovely villa like the one we’re renting. No smelly little basement apartments for us.’
‘Exactly.’ He beamed at her. ‘Imagine waking up to that view every morning.’
She looked back towards the land, working out the geography from this angle, her eyes travelling up from the village until she found their villa, sitting on top of the little bluff above the sea. The windows glinted, the whitewash gleamed.
‘Look.’ She pointed. ‘That’s where we’re staying, isn’t it? Up there?’
‘Oh yeah. That’s our house. Sounds nice that, doesn’t it? Our house.’
Nip this in the bud, now, she told herself. Otherwise he’ll get even more carried away and think it’s real. She sighed. Go on, do it.
‘In another life maybe. But we can’t just up and leave. We’ve both got responsibilities. I mean, it’s a fun game, but it just wouldn’t be possible. Not at the moment. Besides, don’t you think a little island like this might feel a bit claustrophobic after a while? I kinda like living in a city.’
‘You probably haven’t thought about it as a possibility, though, have you? Not properly. You know, worked out what you really want out of life, looked at the pros and cons of things. I reckon this place has a lot going for it.’
Oh God, he means it! He wants to live here. Her mind started scrabbling for counterarguments, things that would make him change his mind.
‘What about your mum?’
‘She’s doing great. She doesn’t need me anymore.’
‘But would you want to live this far away?’
‘You’re making it sound like it’s on the other side of the world. It’s not that far away, is it? Flights are dirt cheap, especially off-season, and wouldn’t it be a nice place for her to come on holiday?’
Christ, he’s thought of everything.
Chloe shook her head. ‘You know I can’t leave, don’t you? I’ve got Gran to look after. There’s no way I can leave her on her own.’
Dan started to say something, then closed his mouth, his jaw clenched as he looked out to sea.
Stalemate.
They were silent for a while, both lost in their thoughts, Chloe’s mind whirling in dizzying circles. Taking responsibility for caring for her gran was the only way she could make amends for
her mother’s death. It was her penance. But Dan didn’t know anything about that. And she couldn’t tell him because he wouldn’t want to be married to a killer, would he?
She sighed and leant back against a rock, suddenly tired and apprehensive about the inevitable conflict that lay ahead. Her eyes drifted over to the headland and back up to the villa as she let her thoughts wander, hoping they’d find a solution to what seemed an impossible situation. She tensed and frowned.
‘Dan, is that somebody standing on our patio, or am I seeing things?’ She sat up, Dan following her movement, both of them gazing in the direction of the house.
‘Bloody hell, you’re right.’
The figure was just an outline against the whitewashed walls, but they seemed to be moving around the building.
‘He’s looking in the window. Is it a he? Or is that long hair?’ Nowadays, she realised, hair length really wasn’t a determining factor when it came to gender.
The person disappeared for a moment.
‘It could be the gardener?’ she suggested. ‘Or someone who does maintenance, maybe? Or the letting agent?’
Dan got to his feet to get a better look. He reached down for the rucksack, unzipped a pocket and pulled out a pair of binoculars that they’d found in the villa and had been using to watch the wildlife. ‘Christ!’ he muttered under his breath.
‘What? What is it?’ She scrambled to her feet, but he didn’t reply because he was busy with his phone and his expression told her to be quiet. He spoke in Spanish, quick forceful words which she didn’t understand, and before she knew what was happening, he was packing up their belongings.
‘What’s going on, Dan? Is there a problem?’
He didn’t answer, his body tense, a stern expression on his face that made him look like a different man. He set off walking back to the jetty, the water taxi visible in the distance, heading their way. He’d obviously called and asked for it to come back and pick them up early. She hurried to catch up, put a hand on his arm and tried to pull him to a halt, anger burning in her chest.
‘For God’s sake! You could at least answer. I’m not a child, you know. What’s going on?’
He stopped. ‘I don’t like the idea of someone prowling round the house, okay? Remote areas like this, it could be a burglar.’
‘Yeah, well, that’s just shattered the fantasy, hasn’t it? Why would we be safer here than Brighton?’
She heard him sigh as he strode ahead, and she hurried after him.
‘You didn’t answer me.’
He stopped and turned, glowering at her. She shrank back, aware of the tremor in her legs. All the things she was about to say slid back down her throat and she could almost feel herself shrinking under his gaze.
‘I’m your husband,’ he said with forced patience, towering over her. ‘It’s my job to protect you and keep you safe. So, you just need to trust me to do that, okay?’ He looked away from her at the advancing water taxi. ‘I’m going back to make sure the house is secure. Then I’ll contact the letting agents and see if they sent anyone up there. Get it all checked out. Once we’re sure everything is above board, we can relax.’
He’d never talked to her like that before and there was a look in his eyes that forced her to comply, silently tagging along behind him as they made their way to the landing stage. Never, for one moment, had she imagined she would be scared of Dan, but after his nightmare and the way he’d lashed out with his fists, she understood what he was capable of. Clearly there was a side to his character that he’d kept hidden. One that seemed to be edging its way out into the open. Her stomach swirled. Is this the real Dan?
‘I want you to go and sit in one of the restaurants and I’ll come and get you when it’s all checked out, okay?’
She shrugged, unwilling to argue with him while he was in this mood. ‘Whatever,’ she said, her annoyance clear. In her eyes he was overreacting, their day out unnecessarily cut short. She’d watched the person looking round their house, and their actions were leisurely rather than furtive. Surely, if they’d wanted to break in, they would have just thrown a rock through a window. And even if they had broken in, what was there to take? Everything of any value was with them in the rucksack.
Why is he being so paranoid?
As soon as they reached the landing stage, Dan jumped out and she clambered after him. Her mind pondered the question as she watched him stride down the road towards the villa while she found a seat outside her favourite café.
She thought over their time together and realised there had been a few incidents now that had gone unexplained. Things that had bothered her at the time and he had brushed away. Like the vandalism of his car and him not wanting to report it. That was strange, wasn’t it? And his lateness for their wedding. She’d never had a proper explanation for that either, but something weird had happened that day. Something that had got him and his mum jumpy. Then there was his terrifying nightmare, and his explanation hadn’t sounded completely genuine.
He’s definitely hiding something. And whatever it is frightens him. Her hand shook as she took a sip of her orange juice.
All the concerns that she’d wafted away as being unimportant flowed back into her mind, and her eyes narrowed. He’s running away from something. That was the only answer she could come up with. All the talk about moving here is that what it’s about? He’s frightened to go back?
Her mind whirred through all the possibilities, a whole list reappearing for closer scrutiny, until a new thought popped into her head. Is this to do with that woman? Another incident that he’d waved away as unimportant: a conversation with a local, he’d said, asking about activities and where to hire kayaks. She wasn’t buying that explanation anymore. Maybe it’s not what I thought. Maybe it’s something that happened here that’s pulling him to want to stay. Something that would have consequences if he left.
Her head was throbbing now, her hand grasping her drink a little tighter as her thoughts muddled together. This theorising was getting her nowhere. It can’t go on. No more messing about, you’ve got to confront him, get him to tell you the truth.
That’s when she saw the woman who’d been talking to Dan on their first day, as if she’d popped out of Chloe’s mind and materialised before her. But this time, she was pushing a baby in a buggy. Chloe’s eyes widened, nausea stirring in her belly as a new possibility presented itself. Oh my God. Tell me that’s not his baby. She stood, snatched up her bag and followed the woman up the street, her jaw set. It was time to know the truth.
Seventeen
It was a little while before Chloe got back to the café, her eyes sore and hidden behind her sunglasses. She ordered a glass of wine, needing something to take the edge off her shock, and downed it in one before ordering another.
Ten minutes later, Dan appeared, a familiar smile on his face. ‘All sorted,’ he said as he flopped onto a chair on the other side of the table. He reached over and took her hand. ‘Sorry I’ve been so long, but it took a while to get hold of the letting agent.’
She glared at him, mouth pinched, glad that her eyes were hidden.
‘What?’ he said, as she studied him in silence.
‘I don’t know what’s got into you, Dan, I really don’t.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, I’ve realised this week that there’s so much I don’t know about you, and now I’m your wife, I really need to understand.’ That’s it. Give him an opportunity. One last chance to tell the truth.
Her jaw clenched.
His smile faltered.
‘There wasn’t a problem at the house, was there?’ Her question made him let go of her hand, and he sat back in his chair.
‘No. It was the guy who does all the maintenance.’ He fiddled with his sunglasses, wiping the lenses on his T-shirt rather than looking at her. ‘He’d got his dates mixed up and thought he was scheduled to do work today, when it had been moved to next week.’
Chloe nodded. ‘So, you were just being
paranoid?’
He didn’t reply.
‘Tell me who did you think it was?’
Dan frowned, and his voice sharpened. ‘For God’s sake, Chloe. It was an easy mistake to make, seeing someone who looks like he’s casing up the joint. That would worry anyone.’
‘But you’ve been so jumpy this week. You can’t deny that, can you?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Well, wherever we go, you’re looking around, as if you’re expecting to see someone. Or maybe you are? Do you know someone who lives here, is that it?’
Come on. This is your chance. Tell me.
Dan shook his head and her heart felt heavy. ‘No. I don’t know why you’d think that.’ He put on his sunglasses so she could no longer see his eyes. ‘What’s with all the questions anyway? I’m trying to be a good husband, that’s all.’ His mouth twitched, a little pout, and she wanted to slap it off his face.
‘Well, you’ve sort of flipped into this Jason Statham persona.’ She tried to keep her voice light, playful, so he might decide that now was the time to tell her. Very last chance, she decided, studying his face. ‘It’s making you all jumpy and that makes me feel jumpy.’
He sighed, his hands playing with a beer mat on the table. ‘I love you so much, Chloe. If anything bad ever happened to you, it would destroy me.’ He looked at her. ‘I’m sorry if I’m getting it wrong, but I just want to keep you safe.’
Chloe huffed. ‘But you’re way over the top, Dan. That’s the problem. Just look at this place! It’s a sleepy little village on a sleepy little island in the middle of the Med. I think we’re as safe here as we could be anywhere in the world.’ She leant forwards. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on? Stop treating me like an idiot and tell me the truth.’
He gazed at her for a moment, his expression unreadable.
Chloe exploded. ‘You’re a liar! A sneaky, horrible liar. I know your secret. I know why we’re here. Let’s forget all this cloak and dagger stuff. Let’s forget you being the noble protector of your helpless little wife, shall we?’ She stood and leant over the table, her body trembling with indignation.
