The Honeymoon: An absolutely gripping psychological thriller

by Rona Halsall

  ‘Well, you just let us know if you need to get out in a hurry, won’t you?’

  Chloe nodded. ‘Yes. Yes, I will.’ She took the sick bag out of the back of the chair in front and held it up. ‘I’ll keep this handy, just in case.’

  ‘Want a mint?’ The man held out a packet and she took one, smiling her thanks as she popped it into her mouth.

  She closed her eyes and flopped back into her seat, her body not sure how to respond to this new situation. She was hot and flustered, claustrophobic in the confined space of the cabin. An urge to scream was building inside, all the frustrations and uncertainties and fears of the last week coming together, the pressure pounding behind her eyes.

  A baby. I’m going to have a bloody baby.

  At this point in time, that was the last thing she needed.

  The rest of the journey was uneventful, the plane full of holidaymakers, chattering and laughing and sleeping off the excesses of the night before. She tried not to think about what she’d just done by leaving Dan, and the fact that she now had another person to think about; a new development that completely changed the dynamics of her situation.

  * * *

  By the time she got out of the airport it was almost one in the afternoon, and she decided she would go and check on her gran first. Then she’d do a bit of grocery shopping, get a pregnancy test and go back to her apartment to give herself some quiet time to think about things.

  Everything felt a little different, she decided, as she walked up the familiar street to her gran’s house. She noticed the noise, the smells, the drabness of the buildings, how busy the streets were, teeming with traffic and people. She was out of step with her old world, as if she’d jumped off the roundabout and couldn’t get back on again. Thoroughly bemused, she finally arrived at her gran’s house and let herself in.

  ‘Oh, you’re back,’ her gran said as Chloe walked into the lounge, scanning the room to check everything was as it should be. The windows sparkled, she noticed, making the room seem brighter. There was no dust on any of the surfaces, and the carpet was devoid of biscuit crumbs, which normally littered the floor around her gran’s feet.

  ‘I am.’ She smiled at her gran, who was looking better than she had been when they’d left, and bent to give her a hug. ‘It looks nice in here.’

  Her gran nodded, knitting needles clacking to their usual rhythm. ‘Oh yes, Janelle had a tidy round yesterday. But to be honest, she’s done a bit of housework every day she’s been here, and the place hasn’t looked so clean and tidy in years.’

  Chloe nodded, relieved that employing the carer had worked out well. ‘She’s done a good job.’ She sat on the settee next to her gran, noticed that there was a bit more colour in her cheeks, more of a sparkle in her eye. ‘You like her then?’

  ‘Oh yes, she’s so funny. Irish, you know. Really good company. And she makes a lovely cup of tea, just how I like it. And she did a roast dinner on Sunday and we’ve had all sorts of different things to eat.’

  Chloe couldn’t remember when she’d last heard her gran sounding so cheerful, each compliment about Janelle feeling like a criticism levelled at herself. You’re being oversensitive, she told herself, forcing the smile to stay on her face while she thought of something else to say.

  Her gran stopped knitting and frowned. ‘Your husband not with you?’

  Chloe chewed her bottom lip, willing the tears to stay away, but just the mention of Dan and the memory of the tension between them, brought a lump to her throat. She shook her head and studied her nails for a minute before she was able to mutter, ‘No.’

  ‘Oh, he’s gone to see his mum, has he?’

  Chloe took a deep breath. ‘No, he’s still in Menorca.’

  The knitting needles stilled while her gran looked at her, head cocked to one side like a little bird, a puzzled frown crinkling her forehead.

  Chloe flopped back on the sofa, took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened.

  ‘So, he’s still out there and you came back because of me?’ Her gran sounded incredulous.

  Chloe turned to look at her. ‘Of course I did. I couldn’t leave you here on your own, could I?’

  Her gran put her knitting on the arm of the sofa and turned to Chloe. Her lips pursed before she spoke. ‘Look, I know we’ve not always seen eye to eye, but I don’t really need looking after.’ There was exasperation in her voice. ‘You’ve got your own life to lead, especially now you’re married.’ She gazed at Chloe for a long moment. ‘I know you think I’m helpless, but I’m not. I’ve still got all my faculties. Can still look after myself. I never asked you to be my carer, did I? You just took that on yourself.’

  Chloe opened her mouth to speak, but her gran held up a hand to shush her before carrying on. ‘I can’t say it hasn’t been helpful. But I knew things would change and I have been thinking about the future, you know? I mean, it would have been a bit of a surprise if you’d moved over there, but you didn’t have to come back for me.’ She sighed and was quiet for a moment before continuing. ‘I’ve really enjoyed having Janelle for company. In fact, I was thinking about seeing if she’d stay on permanently. You know, we get on so well, it’s lovely having her here. Then that would relieve you of your duties, wouldn’t it? And you can go back to Menorca.’

  ‘But I don’t want to—’

  Her gran gave Chloe one of her fierce looks, and she knew not to speak. ‘No, just listen to me. We should have had this conversation a long time ago, and it’s only since you’ve been away, and I’ve had some good long chats with Janelle, that I’ve realised a few things. Things that have probably been making both of us unhappy.’ She put a hand on Chloe’s arm. ‘I don’t want to be a duty and I feel like I am. You squeeze me into the rest of your life and it’s all got to be part of a routine for you. I don’t want to be part of a routine. I know I’m old, but I’ve still got a life to live and I want to make the most of it.’

  Chloe could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks because there was an element of truth in her gran’s words. ‘Oh, Gran, it’s not like that. I want to look after you. Really, I do.’

  Her gran shook her head, slowly. ‘Look, let’s be honest with each other, shall we? Events happen in life that change the way we see things. Our priorities change. The way we think about life changes. Dan coming along has changed the way you see things, and Janelle coming along has changed the way I see things.’

  Chloe frowned, unsure what was coming next.

  Her gran stared out of the window. ‘I know I haven’t always been very fair to you, love, I realise that now. When your mum died’ She paused and looked away before pulling a hanky out of her sleeve and dabbing at her eyes. ‘Well, it was a shock. And grief does funny things to us, I’m afraid.’ She sighed and looked at Chloe, her eyes glistening. ‘I’m sorry to say you became the scapegoat. We all want someone to blame in a tragedy, don’t we?’ She nodded. ‘I can see now that I felt as guilty as you did about her dying so suddenly and none of us realising how poorly she was, but’

  Chloe tensed, sure she was going to be told once again how she should have informed another family member that her mum wasn’t well before she’d gone off on holiday, then they would have known to check on her. But she hadn’t – she’d just swanned off without a backwards glance. Familiar emotions swirled in Chloe’s chest, blocking her throat, making her bite her lip to stop her tears.

  ‘The thing is, nobody was to blame. Your mum was old enough to look after herself. She could have rung the doctor and asked for her meds to be delivered. But even then, there’s nothing to say she would have survived. Flu is a nasty illness, and for epileptics, it’s especially dangerous. We don’t know, do we?’ She sighed. ‘Janelle has helped me to put it all in perspective. Someone from the outside looking in… Well, it all looks different, doesn’t it?’

  Chloe reached for her gran’s hand as a tear rolled down her cheek.

  ‘The problem for me’ Her gran stopped and pressed her lips together
for a moment before speaking again. ‘I’ve promised myself I’m going to be honest with you. And the thing is, you look so like your mum, you even sound like her, have all her little mannerisms it’s like she’s here. But then I remember she isn’t, and it’s like losing her all over again. Having you here I can’t get over her death because I keep getting muddled up and thinking she’s still alive.’

  ‘Oh, Gran, I didn’t know you felt like that. Have I been making it worse, when I was trying to make things better? I thought if I looked after you, then you might find it in your heart to forgive me.’

  Chloe’s gran squeezed her hand. ‘I’ve nothing to forgive you for, love. But’ She swallowed and looked out of the window for a moment, obviously choosing her words carefully. ‘Now I don’t want you taking this the wrong way, but I do think I need some time on my own to get things in perspective. You being here every day and you being so like her… it’s not allowing my grief to heal.’

  Chloe stared at her gran, trying to see if she meant it. She’s sending me away? Doesn’t want me here? The breath went out of her as if she’d been winded, all her efforts over the last few years diminished to a point where they counted for nothing.

  ‘Anyway, I want you to know that Janelle took me to the solicitor’s on Friday and I’ve finally sorted out my will. It was all left to your mum, but now she’s gone, well, it’s shared between the three of you. So that’s all done now.’

  Chloe frowned. ‘But Lucy said you’d left everything to her and Mark. She told me. Said I was looking after you just to get your money.’

  Her gran tutted and shook her head. ‘I don’t know what’s got into that girl sometimes.’ She sighed. ‘I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but she and Mark did try and persuade me to cut you out. I didn’t commit to anything at the time, so she was wrong to say that. Anyway, I’ve told them both what I’ve done and, if I’m honest, they’re both being a bit unreasonable about it. But it’s my decision. When I go, the three of you share what’s left. That’ll make up for what happened to your mum’s house. I know they bullied you out of your share and you let them, but they can’t this time.’

  ‘Oh, Gran,’ she said quickly. ‘Let’s not talk about dying.’

  ‘I just wanted you to know and I needed to get that off my chest. I’m sorry if I’ve been a bit mean to you. I could feel myself doing it, but couldn’t seem to stop. It just felt easier if there was somebody to blame rather than having to accept that I could have kept in touch with your mum more, I could have played a part in keeping her alive.’

  Chloe sniffed back her tears, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands.

  ‘I understand. Honestly, I do. I know you all blamed me, but I blamed myself just as much.’

  ‘Well, let’s change that. Let’s just accept it was a tragedy. Just that. Nobody did anything to cause it. Shit happens, as Janelle says.’

  Chloe’s eyes widened. She’d never heard her gran use language like that.

  ‘So, you think Janelle will stay on?’

  ‘Well, I’ve asked her to. She’s going to leave the agency first, then we’re going to have a private arrangement. More flexible that way. If I’m paying Janelle, then I’m in control of what happens, and if I want to go shopping, I can pay her to come with me. Or we can have days out, you know, that sort of thing.’

  Her gran smiled, and Chloe understood that, as much as anything, she needed a companion. Janelle seemed ideal for the role.

  ‘Anyway, let’s talk about you. What’s going on with this man of yours, then?’

  Chloe sighed and looked at the ceiling, her emotions threatening to overflow again. ‘Like I said, he didn’t want me to come home at all, said it wasn’t safe and we had to stay in Menorca until he got some problem sorted out. But he wouldn’t tell me what it was.’

  ‘Well, that’s very odd, isn’t it?’

  She sighed. ‘I’d say it was totally out of character, but I’ve begun to realise that I don’t know him at all.’

  Her gran gave a little laugh. ‘That’s right, love. After a lifetime together, you may know someone a little better, but you never completely know a person. You can only see what they want to show you.’ She was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. ‘He does sound a bit controlling if you ask me. Not letting you come home. At least he could have tried to persuade you rather than tell you. You’ll have to nip that in the bud, my girl. You don’t want him thinking that just because you married him, he’s in charge of your life.’

  Chloe looked out of the window, watched people hurrying to and fro. ‘No, I don’t think it’s that. He said it was his job to keep me safe and he couldn’t do that if we came back here.’

  ‘It’s all a little odd, isn’t it?’

  Chloe nodded. ‘Half the time I felt I didn’t know him at all, and then he’d soften and become the Dan I love again.’

  Her gran put a gentle hand on her knee. ‘I was married for forty-five years and let me tell you, it’s a constant struggle. There’s always a compromise to be made, but you have to be careful that it’s not you doing all the giving and him doing all the taking. It takes time to get used to being a couple. You can’t know after a week.’

  Chloe took a deep breath and looked at her gran, deciding that she needed to share her latest concern. ‘And there’s another thing that’s sort of freaking me out, Gran. I think I might be pregnant.’

  Her gran’s mouth hung open for a moment before she covered it with her hands. ‘Oh, my goodness. A baby! Honestly, you know how to complicate things, don’t you?’

  Chloe sighed. Complicated didn’t begin to describe her predicament. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

  Her gran gave her a quick smile. ‘I think we should have something to eat. Tea and cake? You’re so pale you look like you might faint. And if you are pregnant, you’ve got to think about that baby as well.’

  A cup of tea was her gran’s answer to everything, but Chloe’s mind was stuck on Dan’s behaviour. Should I have just done what he asked? Because now she’d created a whole new set of problems to deal with.

  Twenty-Three

  Trust is something unseen, something that we take for granted. But it can be broken so easily. Snapped like a twig, then it can’t be put back together again. There is a price to pay for breaking trust, and Chloe is going to find that out.

  She almost left the island without me knowing. Thank goodness I woke up when I did. She’s sneaky, that’s for sure.

  I’m going to have to keep a close eye on her from now on because she is the key to everything. It hit me yesterday – a moment of clarity, if you like. She is the key.

  And I see her.

  I see her sitting in her grandma’s front room.

  Twenty-Four

  Chloe felt a lot better once she’d had something to eat, and while her gran had her afternoon nap, she sat down at the kitchen table and tried to work out what she was going to do. Now that her gran had made it clear she didn’t need her – and, in fact, didn’t want her to look after her – she was free to go back to Menorca.

  If I want to.

  She sat for a moment, trying to decide if she did want to go back. Or should she wait for Dan to follow her home? If he did, then that proved he loved her. If he didn’t, then maybe that told her something else. Then she remembered that she had his passport and he wouldn’t be going anywhere without it. Unless what if he reports it as lost or stolen? Surely there’d be measures in place to get him back home? Yes, he might be delayed, but he had other ID, other ways to prove that he was Daniel Marsden.

  Already she missed him, felt alone and strangely vulnerable. But even if she did decide to go back, she couldn’t just up and leave with so many loose ends to tie up. If she was going to relocate over there, then she wanted to do it properly. There were responsibilities that had to be addressed.

  There was her job for starters. And her apartment. And then there would be loads of paperwork that needed sorting out. Yes, she’d have to look into that.

/>   The baby.

  She sighed. Yes, she had to find out for definite if she was pregnant, because she couldn’t understand how she felt about the situation until she knew it was real. If it was, then it would be a major factor when it came to making plans for the future. Did she want to bring up a child in that house in Menorca, isolated, up a bumpy track? Imagine trying to push a buggy up and down that! And she wondered how practical it would be if Dan was out at work. Then there was the question of income because she wouldn’t be working with a baby, not for a little while anyway. Can we even afford to live there?

  Staying in Brighton would be a better option. She’d get maternity leave from her job and would be able to go back part-time if she wanted. Dan would be able to get work if he looked. Plus, there would be Dan’s mum to give her a hand. In Menorca she’d have nobody to help, and there’d be Dan’s other baby. She gave a shudder. That would be a horrible situation. No, I’m not going to do it. He’ll have to come back here and sort out his problems.

  That brought Dan to the top of her pile of worries. He’d be going frantic, especially with his paranoia about her safety. At least if he was back here, she could encourage him to get some therapy, work through his fears with somebody who knew how to help him.

  I can post him his passport. He’ll come back if I’m here, won’t he?

  She sighed and rested her head in her hands, tiredness making the list of jobs seem unsurmountable. But there was one thing that overshadowed everything else: the pregnancy test. That had to come first, then she could use the news to soften the conversation with Dan. He’ll be happy about a baby, won’t he? She thought about it for a moment, remembered that he’d trained as an infant teacher, recalled the tone in his voice when he’d told her anecdotes about the kids, who he’d obviously adored. Yes, she was sure he wanted a family.

  But what if he won’t come back? Will I wait to go to Menorca until he’s sorted out his problems? It was almost too much to take in: the idea of becoming a mother, moving to a Spanish island, living in a rural community all at the same time. It was all so different, so alien to her, it was hard to believe she would settle. A whole new stream of worries sped through her mind; feeling isolated, not coping as a new mum being left alone with a baby, feeling homesick. So many things made her certain that Menorca wasn’t a viable option.