Spirit Witch

by Helen Harper

  Only a librarian would have a lucky pen. I smiled sadly at him. ‘Thank you.’

  Winter still didn’t get it. ‘We have to find the Ipsissimus. His body, at least. We have to find Blackbeard.’

  I grimaced. ‘The fact that I could talk to the Ipsissimus means that Blackbeard probably isn’t anywhere near here. Not now. Maybe killing the Ipsissimus was his grand plan all along and now he’s achieved it, he’ll go to ground.’ That was about as likely as me taking learning to play the harp. There was no way Blackbeard was done yet but I needed Winter to focus on the scroll. I pressed it into his hands. ‘Listen to me,’ I said softly. ‘This is what the Ipsissimus wanted. He hung on especially for this when the other side was already dragging him away. He’s signed your contract. He’s promoted you to Third Level. And, Rafe,’ I licked my lips, ‘he’s named you as his successor.’

  For a long moment Winter didn’t react. It was only because of the faint narrowing of his eyes that I knew he’d even heard me. ‘No,’ he said eventually.

  ‘This is it, Raphael Winter,’ I said sternly. ‘This is where you make your mark. You step up and take the responsibility that is being handed to you. You’re the best person for the job. You’re the only person for the job. You have to do this.’

  ‘No.’ He met my eyes. ‘If this were you, you’d run away screaming.’

  ‘But it’s not me. We’re different people.’

  From the doorway there was a tiny miaow then Brutus sauntered in. He slunk round Winter’s legs before plonking himself directly in front of him. I frowned. How on earth had he managed to pass through the wards on his own?

  ‘It is only natural,’ Brutus said, while my heart skipped several beats and my jaw dropped, ‘to feel intimidated by complex situations where the course of one’s life is about to be decided. I had to undergo similar soul-searching when I met Ivy for the first time. I possessed deep-seated doubts. She has questionable hygiene. Her hair makes her look as if she’s a close relation to Albert Einstein but without any of the brain cells to match. She likes to pretend that her work ethic is weak and her morals are non-existent. The truth is, of course, that the Ivy she presents to the world is very different to the real Ivy. Only very special beings recognise her for who she is inside. I am one of those beings. You are another. You see the truth of her. And you see the truth of the Order.’

  In the background, Philip Maidmont started to raise a hand as if to indicate that he too believed I wasn’t a complete waste of space. Brutus narrowed his eyes at him and he changed his mind abruptly and brought his hand down again.

  I couldn’t move. Or speak. What exactly was going on with my damned cat? Had he been possessed by one of those blasted ghosts?

  Brutus wasn’t finished. ‘You, Raphael Winter, have the ability to be Ipsissimus. You can be the leader these witches deserve. Under your guidance, they will enjoy heady heights. Magic will never be the same again and the whole country will benefit from what you can provide. I shall be by your side, offering the support you require to be successful. Ivy will also be there. I imagine that fluffy floof you call a familiar will want to stick around as well.’ He sniffed. ‘But I wouldn’t listen to her too often. She enjoys that tuna-flavoured gloop out of the blue packets. No cat in their right mind enjoys that filth.’

  Brutus licked his paw and began to wash his face before pausing to speak once again. ‘Of course, if you’d rather abandon the Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment to chaotic bureaucracy, and you would enjoy seeing them descend into obscurity for the rest of eternity, by all means don’t become Ipsissimus. I am sure you can develop a nice new career of your own by creating new grout cleaners.’

  Nobody moved. Then, very slowly, Winter unfurled the scroll. He held out his palm towards Maidmont who dropped his lucky pen into it. Winter walked over to the Ipsissimus’s desk and sat down, poised to sign.

  ‘I can’t do this without you.’ His voice was so quiet that I had to strain to hear him. Both Maidmont and Brutus studiously looked away.

  I met his eyes. ‘I’m not going anywhere,’ I told him. ‘I’ll be that dead weight holding you down. The ball and chain tied to your ankle. The bad smell that follows you everywhere you go.’

  Winter suddenly flashed me a smile. It was so fleeting I almost missed it. ‘Thank goodness.’

  ‘But don’t expect me to make you packed lunches or fold your socks just because you’ll be a magical bigwig and I’ll be a lowly taxi driver,’ I grumbled.

  ‘The,’ Winter said. ‘I’ll be the magical bigwig.’ He paused. ‘Do you even know how to fold socks?’

  Ha bloody ha. I gave him my very best glare and turned to Brutus. ‘You shit,’ I said.

  ‘Food.’

  ‘Have you been hiding that vocabulary all this time?’

  Brutus blinked. ‘Food.’

  ‘You know I could give you up and find myself another familiar if I wanted to?’

  ‘Food.’

  I sighed; I was clearly never going to win this conversation. ‘Stay here,’ I said eventually. ‘I’ll bring you food later. Keep an eye out in case Blackbeard shows up and come and tell me if he does. Do not do anything stupid like approach him.’

  Winter nodded in agreement. ‘The Ipsissimus wasn’t the only powerful witch with a room up here. It’s possible that others might be targeted.’

  ‘I’m sure Blackbeard is lying low,’ I said. ‘But I’ll talk to Grenville and see what he’s noticed. You need to go and sort out your paperwork. Ipsissimus Collings might be discovered at any moment.’

  ‘Brutus is not the only one who shouldn’t do anything stupid like approach Blackbeard.’

  ‘Please,’ I scoffed. ‘I’ve already had one stint as a martyr. I have no desire for another.’ Then, before Winter could say anything else, I continued. ‘Let’s get a move on while we still can.’

  ***

  On our way back down the stairs, Grenville’s face poked out of his portrait. He looked slightly nervous.

  ‘You should have told me,’ I said, gesturing to Winter and Maidmont to go on ahead. ‘It would have been nice to have some warning about what had happened.’

  ‘I will not apologise for that,’ Grenville said stiffly. ‘It was not my place to inform you. Besides, old Collings is a lucky man. He was able to pass to the next plane. There are not many people who have enjoyed his position who have also escaped eternal curses.’ It was impossible to miss the envy in his voice.

  ‘I will help you,’ I said. ‘I promise I will. I’ll do everything I said I would. But I have to deal with the living right now.’

  I watched as Maidmont and Winter crossed the lobby, heading for HR. The pair of them would ensure that Winter’s return was notarised and time-stamped. In a couple of hours, assuming the Ipsissimus’s death remained concealed, Maidmont would walk into the small shed where the great man had breathed his last and ‘discover’ his body. That’s when all hell would break loose. At least with Winter formally named as successor, the hell would be containable.

  Grenville cleared his throat, ensuring my attention returned to him and him alone. ‘You need something from me.’

  I smiled humourlessly. Grenville had been Ipsissimus for a reason. He might be as irritable as he was irritating but he certainly wasn’t stupid. ‘The man who killed Ipsissimus Collings…’ I bunched up my fists. I’d managed to keep my emotions under wraps until now but it was becoming impossible and I could hear my own voice shaking with rage. ‘The bastard who did this … he’s a null. If you go near him, you’ll vanish. You won’t exist here and you won’t exist on another plane. You’ll just be … nothing. It’s not long term. As soon as he’s moved away, you’ll return.’

  Grenville frowned. ‘That’s a shame. I quite like the idea of not existing. Existence can get remarkably tiresome, you know.’ He sighed. ‘But yes, I have heard of nulls before. I understand the concept.’

  Good. ‘Get in touch with as many spirits as you can. Send them out across the campus. Black
beard is here somewhere. I have no idea what kind of range his null nature provides but when ghosts start disappearing, you know you’re getting close. Find out which area he is in and tell me. He’s killed the Ipsissimus but I don’t believe for a second that he’s finished. While Winter is ensuring the safety of the Hallowed Order of Magical Enlightenment, I’m going to be ensuring Winter’s safety.’

  ‘How exactly?’

  ‘By sending that bastard to the fires of hell,’ I said. I didn’t know how yet but I would do all that I could to achieve it.

  ‘Good plan,’ Grenville said.

  Yep. Planning to that kind of depth and detail had always been my forte.

  ***

  As I walked through the Order, I kept catching snippets of conversation. They all followed the same pattern.

  ‘You’ll never guess what?’

  ‘Tell me!’

  ‘Adeptus Exemptus Winter has returned. He’s back for good!’

  ‘Thank goodness. We were lost without him.’ I’m paraphrasing slightly but that was definitely the gist. I kept my head down as I walked. I was either going to be blamed for his departure or congratulated for his return – I didn’t really care which. What I did care about was not being interrupted. Whatever Blackbeard was planning, it was bound to be bloody. It was imperative I found him and stopped him before anyone else got hurt.

  ‘Ivy!’

  Arse. I turned and spotted Eve jogging towards me. She caught up and gave me a quick hug. ‘Is it true? Is Winter really back? It’s all over campus. Tell me it’s not just a rumour. Tell me he’s not just here for a visit.’

  ‘Yeah, he’s back. For good. Listen, Eve, I really have to go.’

  She beamed. She wasn’t hearing me properly. ‘That’s wonderful news!’ Then her smile vanished. ‘Are you okay that he’s back?’

  ‘I’m in love with him, Eve. Whatever makes him happy makes me happy. As long as his happy doesn’t involve throwing water over me to wake me up or making me go jogging. You get what I mean.’ She nodded vigorously. ‘Now,’ I continued, ‘I really have to go.’

  She finally seemed to realise that I was serious. Her smile dropped and her gaze grew anxious. ‘What’s going on?’

  I looked at her assessingly. Eve was in Arcane Branch; she knew how to maintain a level head. ‘There’s a serial-killing null on campus. He’s already killed the Ipsissimus and there’s no doubt that he’s here to kill others. The more witches the better, as far as he’s concerned. We have to find him and stop him but we can’t use magic against him. I have a bunch of ghosts on the look out for him but it’s difficult because they tend to vanish whenever he is in the vicinity.’

  She blinked. ‘Uh…but…’

  ‘Everyone thinks he’s in Uffington. He’s not.’

  ‘You’re talking about Hal Prescott. The Bearded Butcher.’

  Bloody Tarquin Villeneuve. ‘Blackbeard. Yeah. Whatever. He’s here and we need to find him before he kills anyone else.’

  ‘They wouldn’t let me go,’ she said, the colour draining out of her face. ‘They only wanted the experienced witches to go to Uffington. The only ones left are people like me who don’t know what they’re doing.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I snapped, marching off again, my gaze swinging around desperately for any glimpse of Blackbeard. Eve had no trouble keeping up with me with her long-legged stride. ‘You know exactly what you’re doing. Find the bad guy. Stop the bad guy. Don’t use magic. It’s pretty simple.’

  ‘Ivy,’ she whispered, ‘if we can’t use magic, how can we stop him?’

  I opened my mouth to answer her, just as the familiar figure of Lily came flying round the corner, her arms flapping wildly. As she ran, three other figures popped into existence beside her, fleeing even faster than she was. She zipped past both Eve and I without a second glance. Of course – she was looking for Winter, not me. He was the one she trusted; I didn’t even register in her field of vision.

  Fortunately the dead had more respect. All three ghosts came careening to a halt. ‘You’re her,’ one gasped. ‘He must be over there!’

  ‘It was the strangest thing,’ said another. ‘I was walking along minding my own business and keeping an eye out, then everything went black.’

  ‘You reappeared in the same spot?’ I demanded.

  I felt rather than saw Eve staring at me. ‘Are you talking to one of them? Are you talking to a ghost?’

  We all ignored her. The ghost nodded. ‘Yes. I was beside the fountain. When I returned I was still there.’

  ‘Blackbeard is on the move.’ I grimaced. It was a long time since I’d been here and my knowledge of the Order campus layout wasn’t as up to date as it should have been. ‘What’s beyond the fountain, Eve?’

  Eve’s hand went up to her mouth and she stared at me in horror.

  ‘What? What is it?’ I tamped down the temptation to shake her as hard as I could.

  ‘The crèche,’ she said. ‘Witches who have kids can leave them there during the day. It’s the only building past that point.’

  I felt ill. It made a sick kind of sense – if you were Blackbeard. Lop off the head then move on to the future. Destroy the next generation of witches and you’d destroy the Order for good. I swallowed. And then I began to run.

  ***

  Even with the sound of the cascading water from the fountain and the distance between Eve and me and the crèche, it was obvious that something was terribly wrong. The screams and shouts said it all. You’d have had to be truly evil not to have felt terrified by the sounds that were renting the air.

  I sprinted as fast as I could but Eve quickly overtook me. She pelted straight ahead while I was left gasping. Maybe I ought to join the gym once all this was over and done with. Then I shook myself. The fear and trepidation were clearly getting to me. Every time I was in a life-or-death situation, I started to think I should lead a healthier lifestyle. The trick was to start avoiding life-or-death situations. With that in the forefront of my mind, I put on an extra spurt and rounded the corner just as Eve flung herself towards Blackbeard and leapt onto his back. Four witches, all of whom must have been crèche workers, flung repeated streams of magic attacks in his direction.

  He laughed and tried to shake off Eve. ‘Do your worst, witches,’ he bellowed. ‘You can’t hurt me!’ He spun round and I spotted the long, shining blade in his hands. That was probably the same one he’d used to kill Clare and the rest of her coven. It was probably the same one he’d used to kill the Ipsissimus.

  Eve shrieked like an Amazon warrior and curved her head down, biting his ear. Blood spurted everywhere. Unfortunately, it only enraged Blackbeard and didn’t slow him down in the slightest. He thrust the blade upwards, narrowly avoiding sliding it straight through Eve’s neck. She swung to one side. Terrified that he’d succeed if he tried the manoeuvre a second time, I ran towards them.

  I gestured frantically to the four crèche witches. They got the message and used the momentary distraction to vanish back indoors and look after their charges. They’d probably already realised that magic wasn’t going to work here. While I charged at Blackbeard to try and help Eve, a window opened and various objects were thrown out. Somehow I didn’t think a plastic toy elephant was going to be much of a weapon; neither was the breast pump much use. The milk bottle, however…

  I switched direction and darted over to snatch it up just as Blackbeard finally threw off Eve. Her body smacked into the wall of the crèche and she slumped down like a broken doll. Shit. He turned towards her, blade raised, obviously ready to finish her off.

  I yelled and twisted off the bottle top. ‘Have some boiling water,’ I shrieked, throwing the milk at him.

  Blackbeard raised his hand to shield his eyes; he didn’t know the liquid was barely lukewarm. When he realised he’d been fooled, he snarled and abandoned his bid to kill Eve in favour of facing this new threat. Me.

  He swiped the blade forward. Surprise, surprise, I wasn’t fast enough to dodge
it and it sliced through my arm. I cried out involuntarily. Blackbeard’s eyes widened as he recognised me. A small, dull voice nibbled at the back of my mind: use this, Ivy. You can use this.

  I threw myself to the ground, collapsing onto my knees in front of him. ‘I’m not a witch!’ I wailed. ‘Don’t kill me! I can’t use magic at all!’

  Blackbeard paused, the knife held aloft. He frowned at me as if trying to decide what to do. Then he lowered his arms and glanced around. Eve was out cold and the crèche witches had vanished. To all intents and purposes, it was just him and me.

  ‘You might not be a witch,’ he spat, ‘but you sleep with witches. You are here with witches. As a collaborator, you are as bad as they are. Worse even.’

  ‘It’s not my fault,’ I babbled. ‘I’m not smart. I don’t have any special skills. I’m just a taxi driver. I thought hanging around witches would make my life better. Instead it’s much, much worse. Now I’m stuck with them and I don’t know how to escape.’ I grabbed hold of his trouser legs. ‘You can help me.’

  He kicked me away. ‘You’re lying.’

  ‘I’m not!’ I held up my hands. ‘My ID is in my pocket.’ I pulled it out and tossed it over to him. ‘See?’ I said. ‘I’m a taxi driver. I’m like you. I’m not a witch, I don’t want to be a witch. I think they bewitched me because they wanted a chauffeur. I’m no other use to them. But…’ my voice dropped ‘…I think they want to use me in some of their spells. Black magic stuff. They want my blood. They want to do evil things.’

  When it came to killing and planning for killing, Blackbeard was a clever man but even clever men have blind spots. Prejudice can blind even the smartest fool and Blackbeard’s prejudice was against witches. All I needed was to cast some doubt; all I needed was to gain some time.

  He shook his large head. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘But I can’t trust that you’re telling the truth.’