The Marine's Return

by Rula Sinara

  It’s okay to be attracted to him. You’re human. Besides, nothing would happen between you two. A guy like him wouldn’t find you attractive.

  What was it the old married ER receptionist at the hospital she’d worked in used to say whenever the hunky EMTs wheeled a patient in? “Look all you want as long as looking is all you do.” The older woman used to wink at them, too. Lexi did not wink. Ever.

  Chad reached the bench but studied the stars for a moment before speaking.

  Goose bumps trailed down her arms and she hugged her hands to her sides.

  Forgive me, Tony.

  “Mind if I sit?”

  She shrugged and scooted over on the bench. He settled next to her, making an effort to keep at least several inches between them.

  “Have you slept at all?” she asked.

  “Have you?” He kept his voice as hushed as hers. It was deep and it hummed with warmth.

  “Answering a question with a question?” She raised a brow at him.

  He grinned and tapped a finger against his jeans. “I might have gotten two hours of light sleep. Good enough,” he said.

  “That’s so not good enough, but I can’t judge you, seeing that I’m up, too. I don’t think I’ve slept more than three hours straight in the past month, not without at least a bathroom break.” She cringed inside. Too much information.

  “I don’t have as good an excuse as a baby.”

  “What’s your excuse then?” She almost asked if pain kept him awake, but she stopped herself. Judging from how he’d acted earlier that day, he threw walls up pretty readily. And she kind of wanted him to sit for a few minutes. Maybe she was lonelier than she thought.

  He paused and looked up at the stars. Soft grunts and wildlife chatter filled the night like restaurant background music on an awkward blind date. She shifted, about to get up, make her excuses and get back to bed, but she couldn’t seem to draw herself away from him.

  “You saw me walking the grounds. You can guess why. I don’t like the idea of my mother—anyone—alone in a tent with an incapacitated patient. Humans aren’t the only ones who could invade the camp. I know my mother told me overnight care isn’t typical, but still, it’s not okay.”

  The expected answer and one that, if he relayed it to Ben, would only make both men more paranoid about the safety of the clinic.

  “You’re right. Which is why we don’t usually use the tent at night. Your mom is saving a life, though. Sometimes we have to weigh the risks.” She started to push herself up again.

  “My sleep was messed up because of you, too. You were in my dream,” he said.

  Oh, heaven. She looked over at him, but there was nothing flirtatious about the expression on his face. He frowned and worked his jaw.

  “Nightmare?” she hedged.

  “You were standing with Tony. Strange, since I’ve never seen you two together. Meeting you probably brought him to the front of my mind. Not that I don’t think about him often. I do. It’s just... I don’t know. I should have said this earlier, but I’ll say it now. You were his world. I mean, I’m sure you know that, and he told you, but it’s different when a guy says that to another guy when he doesn’t even have to. Shows how true his feelings are. How much he cares. He did. You were it for him. I thought you should hear how he spoke of you the few times we had a chance to talk.”

  Lexi’s eyes stung and she blinked to try to stop the tears. She didn’t want to make Chad uncomfortable but hearing his words ripped open a wound she’d carefully stitched. She quickly wiped her cheeks dry and cleared her throat.

  “Thank you for telling me. You were important to him, too. He cherished your friendship above all others. And I’m not just saying that. He mentioned it to me more than once. He wanted you to be his best man. It wasn’t your fault, but he hated that you couldn’t be there. In my mind, I couldn’t quite understand how the guy Tony described as always being there for him his entire life, like a brother, was never around during the time that I was in Tony’s life. No introductions. Not there for our vows. Not there for his funeral.”

  She wasn’t being fair. She wished she could take back the words, but it had been eating at her ever since her marriage. At the time, she’d blamed the “friend” who was never there for her own apprehension and pre-wedding jitters. The anxiety that came from questioning her life and how no one had ever made her a priority. How all the people in her life had put themselves first. Everyone always seemed to have a bigger dream or goal to chase. She was never enough.

  People had a tendency to disappear from her life, including Tony. The one person she’d finally trusted to always be there for her. Yes, he hadn’t intended to desert her, but the fact that he had only proved that she was simply meant to be alone. At least she was good at it. She’d had plenty of practice. She was comfortable with it.

  Chad rubbed his palm against his jeans.

  “I visited his grave before I returned to Africa. I made sure of it. In fact, I had to insist on going because no one thought I was strong enough to handle it. I reacted...badly...when I found out Tony had been killed. Lexi, I had been in a coma and then recovery. I didn’t learn about Tony’s death until after I woke up several weeks later.”

  She placed her hand on his.

  “I know. I shouldn’t have said it that way. I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was blaming you.”

  He turned his palm and held her hand firmly.

  “I’m sorry I missed the wedding. I’m sorry he’ll miss the birth of his child and all the milestones ahead. I’m sorry for everything. More than you’ll ever know. But I’m here now because he asked me to be. I have to make sure you’ll be okay. I owe him that.”

  “Did he somehow sense he’d never return? Were things getting bad over there? Did he suffer?” Her voice cracked and she covered her mouth.

  “All service men and women are well aware that there’s risk involved.”

  “Then why? I mean, I know there are reasons people join the military. And I know we wouldn’t have our freedom without those men and women...people like you, Ben, Jacey and Tony. But why did he have to choose that route? What if he’d never joined? Why did you want to serve?”

  He let go of her hand and rubbed the back of his neck.

  “I joined because I was sick and tired of bad things happening in the world. My father was in the military when I was very young, but I understood he wasn’t around because he was making sure life was safe for me and our family. Then, when I was four, I lost my mother and he ended up staying home to be with my siblings and me. I remember wondering if he wasn’t out on a mission, keeping us safe, then who was? And what if they stayed home, too? Would more bad things happen, like my mother getting killed by a drunk driver? I couldn’t separate the different evils at the time. Bad was bad, all around.”

  She nodded, her heart aching for the grief he must have suffered at such a young age.

  “But as I got older, I saw more deaths, more bullying, more news on TV. And after you witness firsthand what bad people like terrorists or dictators do in real time, you can’t turn your back on any of it.”

  “I’m sorry about your mom.”

  “Thank you. It was long ago, and Hope’s been the best mother anyone could have. Our family is strong because of her.”

  Family. Strength.

  “Hope is amazing. She makes life look easy—motherhood, work...all of it.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be a great mother, too. Tony believed in you enough to marry you. I think that says it all. That guy always did want kids. He’d be happy right now. He was happy. Know that.”

  A sob did escape that time. She tried to get up but her muscles suddenly felt weak and tired. She swallowed hard against the lump forming in her throat. She missed Tony. She needed him desperately. She had to get inside before her tears broke loose.

  Chad stood. He
probably wanted to escape her shaky emotional state, too. She couldn’t blame him.

  She put her hand on the arm of the bench for leverage but Chad reached out and took it in his. His fingers were warm and callused around hers. He helped pull her up and immediately let go.

  “Thank you,” she said, but it came out as a gasp then a sob. She covered her face and was about to apologize, but he put his arm around her and held her to his chest.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. He meant a lot to me, too.” His chest rose and fell with each gravelly word. He didn’t let go until a hiccup escaped her and she placed a hand against his chest to regain control and nudge some distance between them. He released her and took a step back.

  “Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It happens. The tears, I mean. I cry more easily now—hormones—but the memories do that to me, too. I still cherish them and always will.”

  “Did he know?” He glanced at her belly. She shook her head and something shifted in his face.

  “I’m going to go back to bed. Try to get some sleep, Chad.”

  He didn’t nod or move. He just stood there as she closed the door behind her. She doubted he’d get any sleep.

  She knew she wouldn’t.

  * * *

  CHAD DOWNED ANOTHER cup of coffee, set the mug on the ground next to him and dug his spoon into the bowl of ugali Lexi offered him. She stirred the pot and spooned some out for the others, as well. The traditional corn grits tasted like home to Chad.

  “This stuff always reminds me of when we first moved to Kenya when I was a child, back when it took a lot to coax me to try new foods,” Chad said.

  Hope laughed as she joined the group with her bowl. They all sat on the front porch as the rising sun backlit the trees.

  “You should have seen the look on his face the first time he tried ugali,” Hope said. “He thought we’d forgotten the sugar. And let me tell you, this little boy did not need sugar in his system.”

  He’d expected the porridge-like dish to taste similar to the instant packs of sweetened oatmeal he’d eaten in the States. Boy had he been wrong. But looking back, he could totally understand why his parents had been eager to get him to eat less sugary foods.

  “No kids need sugar. You are what you eat. That’s how I plan to be able to handle at least six kids. Any sugar will be doled out wisely. It’ll give me bribery power when needed. I’ll be in control,” Taj said.

  “Sounds dictatorial,” Jacey said. “Is that why some people have so many kids? To create their own population to control? Minions?”

  “It’s not a dictatorship. It’s parenthood. Rules for the greater good.” Taj shook his head at her.

  “Ah. Socialist then.” Jacey smirked.

  “Goodness, you’re both going to scare me off having kids and it’s a little late for that,” Lexi said. “I agree with Taj. Minimal sugar. But I won’t be a dictator. I want this child to like me.”

  “My children will like me,” Taj insisted. “Besides, there will be a balance of power because I’ll have such a big family. Only one of me against all of them.”

  “Or you could not have any kids and lead an autonomous, uncomplicated life,” Jacey said.

  “Complications make life interesting,” Taj said.

  Chad didn’t comment on that and he noticed Lexi didn’t, either. They’d both suffered “complications” and neither would call what they were going through “interesting.”

  “I say, before you populate this place any further, let’s see if we can handle Lexi’s little one.” Jacey got up at the sound of the satellite phone ringing. She hurried inside to where she’d left it.

  Chad scraped the last bite out of his bowl then reached for a hard-boiled egg. He wasn’t sure if someone had peeled all the eggs in the bowl because of him, or if they always did it that way. He refrained from asking and took a bite out of the “natural protein bar,” as his physical therapist had once called it. She’d been encouraging him to eat right and rebuild muscle. He’d been too stubborn to listen most of the time. Just like he hadn’t listened to Lexi about getting some sleep last night.

  Staying up and watching the place had made him feel like he was back on duty in the field at a marine post. The lack of sleep felt oddly natural. He’d been fired up, though a part of him wondered if it had been the company that had kept his mind running at full speed.

  He took another bite of the egg and avoided looking over at Lexi. He tried to forget how comforted he had felt while trying to console her.

  “Mac just called in,” Jacey said, returning. “He said that he’ll be by in the early afternoon and wanted to know who all was heading back.”

  Time for the elephant dung to hit the fan. Chad brushed his fingertips against his jeans and picked up his mug for a swig of coffee.

  “What does that mean?” Lexi stopped rolling her piece of cheese in a round of chapati and shot Chad a look. He simply grabbed a piece of the flatbread and took a bite.

  Jacey grabbed a fresh fig and started peeling it.

  “Don’t look at me. I assumed he only had room for Dr. H, Chad and Taj, but Mac seemed to be under the impression that he might have to make two trips. Almost sounded like an evacuation plan,” Jacey said. She glared over her shoulder at Chad and he glanced into his empty bowl.

  Nah. She wouldn’t poison the traitor. Would she?

  “Did you radio your father already? Before we could talk?” Hope gave Chad a stern look. Funny how that could also make him feel at home. He really had been a handful as a kid. But at least he’d learned to direct all that energy constructively, for a while at least. Up until his honorable discharge. He popped the last bite of egg into his mouth.

  “Nope.”

  His mother’s shoulders—and Lexi’s—relaxed visibly.

  “He radioed me when you went to wash up,” Chad added. Everyone stopped eating. His mom had left him outside the patient tent so she could go use the restroom and wash her face an hour ago. She’d missed hearing the call.

  “And you didn’t tell me? What did you go and do, Chad?” Hope set her plate down and tightened the bright scarf she had tied around her head.

  “Nothing more than what he asked me to do. He asked if I thought leaving a couple of women here alone was safe in light of recent events, and I answered him. Honestly, I might add.”

  They all stared at him. Chad raised his brow. As if his answer to Ben wasn’t obvious enough. Did he have to spell it out?

  “You can’t do this,” Lexi said. “You know we have a patient. I thought you were...” She didn’t finish.

  He could guess what she was going to say. That he’d seemed like a nice person last night. A guy with a heart. Not a threat.

  He dug the heel of his boot into the dirt and finished off his coffee.

  He cared more than she knew. He was doing this for all of them, especially for her and Tony and their unborn kid. The blood on the boulder yesterday and the broken glass bottle...not being able to prove they were left by a human also meant there wasn’t proof that they weren’t.

  “I hear your patient will be allowed to go home today, so that’s a nonissue,” he said.

  Lexi put a hand to her forehead and began pacing.

  “I’m not leaving. We have twenty children to vaccinate tomorrow. The supplies are already here.”

  “She’s right,” Hope added. “I want everyone safe, too, of course, but those children’s lives may depend on those vaccinations. There are many kinds of safe, Chad. I’m used to your father going overboard. I honestly didn’t think it would come to this.”

  “Dad said KWS sent out word this morning that there has been another poaching incident only fifteen kilometers south of here. One dead elephant, ivory gone. Busara took in the orphaned elephant calf they found hiding nearby. They have reason to believe it’s the same group of poachers. And the
y think this group has an insider. Someone’s helping them. Someone from this area. You want to argue that you’re safe now?”

  “I have to admit, I don’t like the sound of that,” Taj said. “I’d stay longer to keep an eye out, but I’m expected for hospital rounds later today. Maybe we don’t have a choice. This clinic has always been a safe haven, but my gut is saying we should listen to Chad,” Taj said, scratching his jaw.

  “Why can’t you all trust me to handle things?” Jacey yelled. “It’s really ticking me off. Just because I’m a woman, I can’t keep the place secure?” Jacey shoved the wooden cooking spoon into the pot and didn’t bother with the bowl she’d filled for herself.

  “Maybe because you’re army.” Chad smirked. He couldn’t resist the gibe. Marines—particularly Special Forces—had an untouchable reputation. Well, there were also those Navy SEALs, but he was backing his bros on this.

  “Don’t you give me that marines-are-better-than-everyone-else crap.” Jacey stalked over to him. Was she really going to challenge him on that?

  “Hey, Jace.” Taj put his hands on her arms and urged her to sit on a tree-stump stool. “I know you’re capable. It’s not about your sex. It’s just that you’re already multitasking around here. There’s only one of you, and you only have two eyes. You can’t help with patients and keep watch. Your military background would be enough under normal circumstances. But we haven’t dealt with a situation as dangerous as this before.”

  “My background and experience are more than just enough. The only thing I don’t have is a gun on me at all times, but that can be arranged. Even without it, I’m probably more fit than you are, judging by the fact that you have yet to beat me at arm wrestling.”

  Taj raised his palms.

  “You can wrestle me anytime, but—” Taj froze when he noticed the ruby flush on Jacey’s neck and the smiles on Hope and Lexi’s faces. A chuckle escaped Chad. Was there something going on between those two? Taj scrubbed his hand across the stubble on his jawline. “That’s not what I meant. You can arm wrestle me all you want, but that’s not the same as handling an armed intruder.”