The Flow

by Effrosyni Moschoudi

  Sofia gave a frown. “They’re swimming today?” I thought Steve is flying early this afternoon. I was going to call on my way back home and say goodbye.”

  Mrs Danda gave a deep sigh as she placed her flower-patterned summer dress on her mat. She was standing by Gran now, both of them in their swimsuits, ready to get in the water. Gran wore a black, one-piece article as was customary for women her age, while Mrs Danda, who was in her early forties, wore a brown bikini that suited her quite well. The skinny, ruddy-cheeked woman shielded her eyes against the glaring sun with one hand and smiled at Sofia. “They’re only coming for a short while, just for Steve to say goodbye to everyone. Then they’re catching a taxi to the airport together. Loula changed her mind this morning and refuses to let him go in the taxi on his own. Says she will leave him at passport control after a quick airport lunch.” She shrugged her shoulders and gave a light-hearted laugh. “Young love!”

  Sofia shook her head. “Poor thing, she must be distraught today.”

  “Well, they won’t be apart for long! And believe me, she’s nowhere near as distraught as I’m going to be the day she flies out to move to England with the boy. He’s a great lad and all that, but I should be the one with the long face. It won’t be easy for me to see her off, I tell you!”

  “I can imagine,” said Sofia with a sympathetic look in her eyes. “I think it’s very kind and selfless of you to let her go.”

  “Ah, psyche mou, as a parent you should never stop your child in matters of love. One can never know. This boy could be the one, you know? And who am I to stop her from meeting her destiny?”

  “Her destiny . . . right . . .” Sofia nodded, looking impressed.

  “Indeed!” Without further ado, Mrs Danda turned to Gran and beckoned her with a flick of her wrist to follow her in the water. The long walk from the top of the hill had been difficult in the heat, and they had waited too long for the pay off. Within seconds, they were paddling happily together, heading for the deep waters for a long soak. They’d spend this blissful part of their day chatting away, putting the world to rights, and sharing the latest news on their long string of mutual acquaintances.

  By the time the two women got out again, Sofia was in the company of Steve, Loula, and Jeff.

  The old woman came to sit close to her granddaughter, then whispered in her ear, “Sofia, this new friend of yours stares at you as if you were the last bite of Turkish Delight on the tray.”

  Sofia was taken aback and burst out laughing. “Gran! This is so funny; I can’t believe you said that!” she managed to say when she recovered. The other youngsters were huddled on Jeff’s beach mat at the time, too engrossed in conversation to hear. Jeff had just pointed out how skinny and frail the Greek seagulls look compared to the British ones, who are acclimatized to adverse weather conditions.

  They were all laughing now, as Steve and Jeff described to Loula what the average British gull looks like. The hilarious description had the British birds walking around all macho-like, in the style of a spinach-fed-Popeye-the-Sailor-Man type, complete with rolled up sleeves, tattoos and a pipe sticking out of their beaks.

  Gran shook her head and whispered, “Be careful now. I don’t want you getting disillusioned again. I remember how heartbroken you were when the other boy left last year.”

  Sofia’s face turned serious. “Don’t worry, Gran. It’s not like that with this guy. We’re just friends.”

  “All I’m asking is that you’re careful. Young hearts sway back and forth like the tide, and there’s never any telling, even by you, how you may regard him tomorrow.”

  Sofia didn’t know how to respond to that, and if she had to be true to herself, she’d have to admit her grandmother had a point. “All right, I’ll be careful.”

  “That’s my girl.” The old woman pursed her lips and took a surreptitious look at Jeff, who had moved on to other subjects now with the others. They were no longer laughing, but they were still engrossed enough as not to overhear. “At least he’s not wearing a hat,” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

  Sofia gave a wry little smile. “Yes indeed, no hat. I’m safe this time.”

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you!” said Gran then, her face lighting up as she gave a little giggle. Sofia threw her a surprised look and waited, intrigued. Gran wasn’t the giggly type. This had to be funny.

  “Your Uncle Yiannis phoned just before I left the house. He told me he saw you with Loula and two young lads last night. Wanted to know who they were, and if we knew about it.”

  “He did, did he?” said Sofia, a sardonic smile curling the sides of her mouth upwards.

  “You naughty girl! You don’t seem surprised in the least! You knew he saw you, didn’t you?”

  “Let’s just say I made sure he did!” she replied with a snigger.

  “You wicked thing!”

  “Why, did I put you on the spot, Gran? Surely, all you had to do is tell him the truth.”

  “Of course. When I said your father was aware you went out with Loula and the boys, he tutted so loudly I had to remove the receiver from my ear.”

  “He tutted? Seriously?”

  “Like an old lady!”

  “Oh, Gran,” managed Sofia, her sides splitting with laughter, her gran laughing even louder than her.

  Once their amusement subsided, Sofia turned to Gran, her brow wrinkled. “Seriously though, I so wish Uncle Yiannis weren’t so nosy. He can be such a nuisance!” She shook her head.

  “Ah, Sofia mou, you have to be patient with your uncle. He’s been through a lot. In a way, I understand why he’s acting like that. And because I know things you don’t from his past, you’ll have to trust me when I say that he can't help it. Try to just suffer his over-protectiveness towards you like we all do.”

  “What do you mean you know things I don’t?”

  Gran heaved a long sigh, a shadow fleeting past her eyes. “Something happened when he was a young boy . . . but it’s all in the past, and too terrible to talk about. Perhaps one day, when you’re older. For now, just trust that your uncle means well and don’t hold it against him.”

  Sofia registered the firm nod her Gran gave her then, and the way she pressed her lips together before looking away. She knew it was futile to persist. It prickled her curiosity, but she dropped the subject anyway. It was such a beautiful day on the beach, hardly the time to ask pressing questions, let alone to hear a distressing tale.

  A few minutes later, Steve stood up and approached Sofia, to place a light hand on her shoulder. When she turned around to face him, he gave her an uneasy smile.

  “I should be leaving soon. But before I go, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Sofia was taken aback. In a way, it made sense that he looked unhappy, since he was soon to say goodbye to his beloved Loula. But was there something else? He looked quite preoccupied. Even the look in his eyes was nervous. It wasn’t at all like him.

  “Sure, Steve,” she said with an eager nod.

  “Ahem, would it be possible to speak privately? Can we go as far as the pier to sit there alone maybe?”

  This is definitely out of the norm. Mystified, Sofia stood up and beckoned him to follow. On their way there, she looked behind her once to find Loula watching happily. Whatever it was, Loula knew about it. Gran wasn’t even looking but was conversing with Mrs Danda and another village lady who sat close by. The look on Jeff’s face was another story, however. He seemed very confused to watch them go, and she imagined he was dying to know why they’d left to be on their own.

  They sat at the pier base, their feet splashing in the water, at the exact spot that Sofia loved and hated to be in at the same time.

  Steve cleared his throat. “I apologise for the mystery, but I can see that you and Jeff may have something going on, and I—”

  “No, we don’t!” interrupted Sofia, looking appalled.

  Steve put up a hand, looking very embarrassed. “No, I didn’t mean anything by it! I’m sorry, So
fia. Truth is, I’m not too good with words at all. I can be a bit of a plonker actually, so forgive me.” He put up two apologetic hands to shake them fiercely before her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. I only meant I didn’t think it would be right for him to hear what I have to say.”

  Sofia met his eyes and gave a smile. “Don’t worry, I didn’t get offended or anything. I just wanted to make it clear; Jeff and I are only friends.”

  “Well, anyway . . .” He cleared his throat again. “I didn’t bring you here to talk about Jeff. It is just that watching you with him made me realise that you two could get closer together, or maybe you’ll soon do that with someone else. Anyway, the point is, since I got that thought in my head, it’s been bugging me. And it bugs me because I feel that before you find somebody to love, there’s something you should know first. It’s something that I’ve been meaning to tell you from the first day of my arrival here, but I didn’t have the guts to come out with it. Part of me thinks it’s none of my business, and perhaps it’s even pointless to talk about it now, but seeing you with Jeff and wondering what it might lead to, with him, or anyone else, I feel I should tell you before I go.”

  “You weren’t joking when you said you’re not good with words, were you, Steve? Oh, for God’s sake! You’re driving me nuts, here. Just spit it out, whatever it is!”

  Steve pressed his lips together and shook his head, then fixed her with a stare of determination. “It’s about Danny, Sofia. Something you should know before you decide to write him off—”

  “Danny? What about Danny?” she asked, taken aback, sparing a moment for The Lady that had returned in her dreams last night. Was that and this morning’s poem a mere coincidence?”

  “Do you remember last summer, when Danny and I left, you and Loula insisted not to see us on our last morning?”

  “Yes, of course. We didn’t want to say goodbye on the beach. Neither she nor I could have ever risked crumbling down and bursting into tears in front of our customers. I think it made sense.”

  “That’s right. This is what you girls said, so we said goodbye to each of you the night before, privately, like you both wanted.”

  “Yes. But I don’t understand. What about it? Why are you bringing that up now?”

  “You see, that morning, Danny and I woke up with a heavy heart. We had a quick breakfast, during which even he kept quiet. When we got back to our room, with plenty of time to spare till we had to catch the coach, he expressed to me the wish to come to the beach and see you girls.”

  “He did?”

  “Yes. And at first, dying to see Loula one last time as I was, I got all excited about it. But then I thought, if we did that we’d be disrespecting your wishes. Surely, you’d be happy to see us, but then what? Had we the right to get you both embarrassed and upset at your place of work? And also, in your particular case, how could Danny risk exposing you to the village gossip you so dreaded should you be seen hugging and kissing goodbye?”

  “So, you didn’t come.”

  “Now, this is where you’re wrong. We did come.”

  “What? Steve, I think I would’ve remembered had you done that! You didn’t.”

  “Yes, we did. But we never let you or Loula see us. Danny was determined to make this happen. He told me he just couldn’t leave the island without seeing you one last time.”

  Sofia had been looking at her feet in the crystal clear water all this time, absently staring at them as she listened, but to the sound of the last words, she whipped her head around, her eyes huge. “What? He said that?”

  “Indeed, he did. And all I needed was a push myself. I so wanted to catch a glimpse of Loula again too, it was killing me. Let’s just say, it didn’t take him a lot to convince me.”

  “I must have been too spaced out with my upset that morning. I can’t believe you came and I never spotted you.”

  “You couldn’t have, Sofia. You see, once we made up our minds to do it, we decided to disguise ourselves. We had to see you both one last time but didn’t want you to recognize us and get upset. So, we knocked on another door down the hall. We knew the guests there, a lovely couple from Yorkshire. Kind, chatty people. Danny had befriended them from day one. Anyway, he asked them nicely, telling them we were ‘on a love mission’ and making the kindly lady all flushed in the face and excited about it all, as he explained what we wanted to do. She happily lent us their towels, two wide-brimmed hats they had for the beach and even a pair of big, pink sunglasses that belonged to her; a bone-rimmed article that must have looked decent on her, albeit a bit young for her age, but on Danny it looked that something else!”

  “Danny wore her pink sunglasses?”

  Not just her glasses. In fact, he was so keen to see you again that he had no qualms about putting on the pink hat that the nice woman handed him as well. He came to the beach dressed all in pink actually, just for you, with her hat and beach towel in the same colour, wrapped around his waist. He got a few stares on the way here and back, I tell you!”

  “I must say, I’m very surprised by all that,” said Sofia after a long pause. She turned to face Steve and searched his eyes intently. “But what am I to make of this? Help me out if you can. The thought of Danny has been driving me crazy!”

  “I know, it’s so evident on you, Sofia. Every time we mention his name, you look like you wish the ground would split under you and swallow you alive.”

  Sofia looked away and shook her head forlornly. A slight tremble on her chin gave away the inward tears she was now fighting back.

  Steve put out a gentle hand and rested it on her arm. His voice came out as a whisper. “Look, I can tell you love him very much. But doesn’t what I just told you mean something?”

  “Steve, Danny was acting the goat all the time here last summer. I’m hardly going to get encouraged because he wore a pink outfit to catch a glimpse of me one last time.”

  “But why should he do it in the first place? Don’t you see? I was quite happy to respect your wishes and stay away that morning but he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t! And God knows I love Loula more than I can describe! Don’t you think this fact amounts to something?”

  “But Steve, if he loves me too, then why didn’t he come back like you did this year? What stopped him?”

  “A lot, Sofia. You don’t know him, but I do.”

  Sofia shook her head. “You have no idea what he wrote in his letters. Just jokes and mentions of other girls. He might as well have been writing to a bloke! If he loved me he’d be here now, or at least writing to me, sweeping me off my feet with promises of love and a life together, like you and Loula are striving for. And he wouldn’t be writing about his dates with other girls like he did last Christmas!”

  “Don’t compare, Sofia. Danny is a special case, trust me. He finds it pretty hard to express his feelings and to trust women. He’s got issues. Just because he talks of other women, it doesn’t mean you mean nothing to him. In fact, knowing him, I’d say that exactly because he was referring to all that, it meant he has feelings for you.”

  “What? How can that be possible?”

  “Trust me, from the sounds of it, and from what Loula has relayed to me, all he’s been doing in his letters to you is building up walls to protect himself. Sofia, for him to do that, it means you’re important to him.”

  Sofia tipped her chin and threw her hands in the air. “You’re not making any sense!”

  “It’s because you don’t know him.” Steve let out a deep sigh. “Sofia, Danny’s mother has hurt him very, very badly. When he was only six, she packed a bag and left with another man, leaving him, his baby sister and their dad behind, without ever sending as much as a postcard again.”

  “What? And he hasn’t heard from her ever since?”

  “Not a peep. Which is why Danny never got the chance to deal with this. What’s more, he finds it easier to imagine her dead, rather than accept she’s out there somewhere but unwilling to see him.”

  Sofia shook her head
, a deep frown on her face. “Wow . . .”

  “So as you realise, Danny has big problems . . . Only after my insistence, he started seeing a therapist just a couple of months ago. We had drifted apart for a while and then we went out again, and I noticed he drank more than normal. One night he confessed to me he was unhappy. He said he scorned himself for having lost touch with you. He said you were very precious.”

  “He did?” Under her big hat, Sofia looked pale now, like a sheet of unblemished paper, despite the sun hammering down on the world at its strongest. A sob rose to her throat at the sound of Steve’s last words and finally, she gave vent to it with relief. The first tears, tears she hadn’t shed for months on end, started to stream down her face.

  Steve seemed distraught to see her cry and put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry. Forgive me for making you cry, Sofia. But please tell me I was right to tell you all that. Believe me, you and Danny are precious friends to me. I want you more than anything else to get another chance together. You both deserve happiness so much! More than any other two people I know.”

  Sofia wiped her tears with the back of her hand and pinned her eyes on Steve’s. She was aware they must have looked red and awful, but she didn’t feel embarrassed for her pain. All she felt was gratitude for him and his words.

  “Thank you so much, Steve. I am so glad you chose to talk to me before leaving. You made me very happy today.”

  “Well, if so, you have a strange way of showing it,” he teased pointing at her sodden cheeks and nudging her on the arm.

  Sofia gave a quiet little laugh in response. She wiped her last tears and let out a deep sigh, before searching his eyes another time. “What else did he say? Anything else I should know?”

  “Only that he scorned himself for the way he’d treated you. And believe me, he got an earful from me for that. As I said, he accepted my advice to see a therapist for the first time. It’s so clear that when it comes to women, he’s forever chastising himself. I’ve read a bit of psychology, so I know—”