by Lucy Rains
Kyson stopped and set me down on my feet. Pierce and Gavin were in front of the group, while Merrick, Roman and Alex hung in the back. We were still in the middle of the forest. Not in a place that my senses recognized. Tiny raindrops pelted my face and arms gently.
My eyes turned to Pierce’s, pain creasing my forehead. “You,” I swallowed, “left him?”
Pierce held my gaze but his mouth did not open. His emotions were stained with regret.
“We had no choice, Jade,” Gavin said from behind him. “We could not carry him. We don’t have time to bury him.”
“We covered him with branches and debri the best we could,” Kyson added.
My tongue became thick, my throat enclosed. I tried to ignore the burn behind my eyes. “And Harold?”
Everyone looked to the ground. Even Merrick and Roman.
Pierce sighed and shook his head.
My throat closed and I couldn't breathe. A new kind of pain filled my chest.
I could have sat down and cried. I could have screamed as loud as possible. My energy wanted to lash out and break something.
But I didn’t.
Charles wouldn't want that. He would want me to get out of the mountains.
I swallowed and nodded. “Where are we going?”
Pierce jerked his head behind him, in the direction we had been moving. “There’s a dirt road about 8 miles south of where we were.”
“And then what?”
“Someone will be there to pick us up,” Kyson answered.
I raised an eyebrow in question at him, “Says who?”
“Matteo,” Pierce and Kyson said together.
My upper lip curled and I hissed. “We can’t trust him!”
Pierce’s eyes flinched slightly but he recovered and remained emotionless.
“If Nara is behind everything we’ve been through, and Matteo works for her? Or with her?” I shook my head, “We can’t talk to him anymore!”
"But everything has gone according to plan thus far," Alex pointed out. "He's been helpful, honest, accurate. Every time he spoke with us I looked for the smallest hint of deception, but there was nothing."
“We’ll talk about this later,” Pierce said. “Right now, we move. It’s our only way out of here.”
I was about to protest again when Gavin spoke up, “We’re about out of food and water. It will be night in a few hours, and it's going to get damn cold. We didn’t come prepared for a campout.”
“Good, I hate camping,” Alex muttered from behind Kyson.
I still didn’t agree. Red flags were waving through my mind and blocking my ability to agree with any of them. But I knew I either started walking or would be carried. Either way, the guys wanted out of the desolate forest as soon as possible.
*******************
An hour later we were looking at a rough dirt road about 200 yards in the distance. I was starving and ready to start eating bark off the nearest tree. My stomach growled every couple minutes and each time it elicited a cringe in one of the guys. They weren’t used to hearing me hungry.
“Who is meeting us?” I asked warily.
“He said a woman,” Pierce answered. “Older, grey hair. White van.”
At his last word my hearing picked up a light rumbling in the distance. A metallic rattling that I was sure could be heard across the entire mountain range.
“We’ll be lucky if we make it out of here alive,” I grumbled.
We stood close, Roman rubbing absentmindedly at his chest. Everyone was anxious, alert. Kyson held onto his gun, preparing to use it if needed.
A large, windowless, rusty, white van came into our line of sight, maneuvering swiftly over the uneven terrain. Like everything else I had seen in the small town, it was worn and beaten. I crouched down, my fingers touching the earth as I reached all my senses out to the van. My eyes searched out the passenger, my ears listening for a threat. My mind tasted the mental waves coming closer.
“Anna,” Roman whispered. His voice was happy, relieved.
Gavin looked over at me, “What do you feel?”
I stood up, my face blank. “Anxiety, and...” My eyes closed as I delved deeper. “Optimism.”
“It is Anna,” Merrick said confidently.
“Your tutor?” Alex asked.
Roman nodded confidently. “She is a good person.”
My mouth twisted down as a spark of jealousy rolled through me. I wanted Roman’s praise. His confidence. His trust. I envied this woman and the time she had shared with him.
Roman and Merrick began walking towards the road, their emotions lighter than I had felt since meeting them.
Alex grabbed my hand, “Let’s go Babezilla. Don’t be getting your panties in a bunch.”
Anna stepped out of the van with a wide smile on her face. She was round, petite, and what I would picture I would want my grandmother to look like. Warm, welcoming. I was waiting for her to hug Merrick and Roman, but she simply patted them on their shoulders in greeting.
“Ask her a question,” I whispered to Alex.
Alex paused, thinking. When we were a few feet away from her he cleared his throat. “Do you mean us harm?” he asked loudly.
Anna stopped talking and turned to Alex, her smile not fading at his blunt question. “No.”
“Can we trust you?” I asked.
She nodded kindly, “I have worked for Matteo since the beginning. Now, I will be free from this awful place.” Her words were spoken clearly with conviction. “I am glad you have helped them.” She reached out for my hand and grasped it in her own.
I offered a small smile and pulled away. “Where are you taking us?”
“Back to the house,” she said, turning back to the truck and climbing into her driver's seat.
My mouth turned down and I looked at Pierce.
“We don’t have anywhere else to go,” he stated.
He was right.
I knew he was right.
The only place we had to go was the one place I didn’t want to be.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
Everyone piled into the van with Pierce in the front seat, and me in the very back squished between Gavin and Alex. I leaned my head down to Gavin’s shoulder and allowed my eyes to close as my stomach twisted in a sharp pang of hunger. But as hungry as I was, nothing sounded appetizing. The thought of eating, filling that need, felt as if I was dismissing everything that happened today. Like bringing myself any sort of comfort was disrespectful to both Charles and Harold.
I needed to suffer as they did. I needed to remember their sacrifice.
It was at least another couple hours before the land flattened and the mountains were behind us rather than around us. The sun had disappeared and the first few stars were appearing. We were all dehydrated, exhausted, filthy with both our own blood and others. As my adrenaline seeped out of my body the images of the day sunk into my mind, harassing me at random. The blood. The death. The carnage.
We pulled up to the familiar house as different people than we had been that morning. Changed by death and the crimes we committed, and the challenges we had endured. By the lives that had been both lost and taken.
Merrick and Roman shared a few parting words with Anna. Kyson offered his gratitude on behalf of the entire group. I trudged inside the house without a parting glance.
Without thinking, my feet took me to the closed door of Harold’s room. The aroma of aftershave and tobacco prominent even through the closed door. I twisted the handle, pushed the door open and stepped inside.
His bedroom was tidy, bed made, no clothes anywhere to be seen. The red and black flannel striped quilt was worn with holes and piling. My eyes traveled over various small framed pictures lining his nightstand. The black hardback book laying on the edge.
Next to the bed was a black couch full of holes, and rips, with a small pile of folded sheets next to it. On the ground next to the bag was Charles traveling bag.
Tears burned
my eyes and I let them. I walked farther into his room, heading to another closed door, knowing it was his bathroom. Once inside, I closed the door, making sure it latched. A scream almost leapt from my mouth when I looked in the mirror. The person staring back looked straight out of a horror film. My hair, though tied in a ponytail was all askew, loose strands and wispys in every direction. There were too many blood smears to count. Mud and blood mixed patterns along my arms. My eyes looked hollow, my skin pale.
I sniffed and sobbed and sniffed some more as I dropped my pile of clothes to the ground. The water turned on easily and began filling the room with hot steam.
Nobody came to the bathroom while I scrubbed the stains from my skin. No one approached the bathroom door. I wept in solitude as I worked. When my skin and hair were clean, I shut off the water and wiped away the last of my tears.
Charles would not want me to wallow and be sad. He would have smiled kindly at me and promise that he was happy to have helped me. This thought caused my throat to clench in emotion and I had to cough to bite back another wave of tears.
As I took several breaths to remain in control my eyes landed on my knife that sat on top of my filthy clothes. The knife Charles had chosen for me. I grabbed it and began scrubbing it in the sink, running my nails and fingers over the blade to clean off the blood and dirt. I ignored the random slices to my fingers, gritting my teeth at the pain and watching the blood that would trickle into the soapy water.
I dried it off, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around me, and opened the door to head upstairs. When I entered the main room Merrick and Roman stood in the middle, talking quietly to each other. Merrick’s back was to me, while Roman faced my direction. He stopped talking, his eyes widening at the sight of my bare shoulders and towel covered body. I felt the surge of curiosity, quickly overpowered by shyness.
Merrick turned around and caught himself before reacting. He was amused at Roman’s reaction to me. “The other’s are upstairs,” he said calmly.
I nodded, “You can use the shower in there.” I pointed behind me. “Sorry I left my dirty clothes on the floor.”
Roman’s adams apple bobbed and he nodded. Then he seemed very interested in the hardwood floor he stood on.
Merrick smiled and said thank you.
I offered a tight smile of my own and began walking up the stairs to the guys.
Chapter 35
Too numb to care, too exhausted to be embarrassed, the towel slipped from my body as I knelt to the floor and ripped open my backpack. I could feel the four pairs of eyes on me. I erected a wall over my sixth sense, incapable of handling anyone else’s feelings in that moment.
My hands trembled as I fumbled through the fabric, goosebumps pricking along my skin. My vision blurred and the shaking became more intense. I couldn’t see what I was touching. Everything I had was black or grey and blending together. I flipped my bag upside down and began shaking all the contents out.
Two warm bodies knelt down next to me.
“I’ve got it,” I whispered, grabbing at a pair of underwear and slipping them on.
“I know you do, darling,” said Alex, handing me a black sports bra.
When I had that pulled on, Kyson handed me a black long sleeve t-shirt. I avoided his eyes as I slipped it on quickly and rubbed at my arms. “We’ve got you,” he said softly, rubbing his large hands over my arms when I stopped.
“You should eat,” Pierce said from behind me.
I glowered over my shoulder as I crawled to my makeshift bed. “How can you think of eating?”
“I’m not thinking of eating,” he argued. “I’m thinking of you eating. You can’t tell me you’re not hungry.”
“I’m not hungry.” I said simply.
I closed my eyes as I laid my head on my pillow but I knew he was shaking his head at me.
Alex cleared his throat, “Your stomach was growling like a grizzly that whole way-”
“I said I’m not hungry, damn it!” I snapped. “I’ll eat in the morning, okay?”
The room was silent for a few beats and then Gavin cleared his throat. “We should talk about what’s next.”
My eyes were half open as I looked up at the ceiling, letting the conversation begin to stir around me.
“We can’t go back to Paris,” Gavin said. “We can’t trust Matteo.”
“Assuming Nara is the one behind all of this,” Kyson added, “but we never had any reason to mistrust Matteo.”
“Well, the best con artists will appear awfully trustworthy.” Pierce grumbled.
“I never picked up on anything,” Alex said firmly. “Not the slightest deception. Everything he said, about not being against us, it was always true.”
“What about Charles?” Pierce asked.
“No.” I sat up quickly, not about to allow the conversation to go in this direction. “Don’t.”
“Jade,” Alex said softly, drawing my attention to him.
I turned to meet his eyes, glaring with emotion. His regret pushed hard into my mind and I closed my eyes as I shook my head. “No!”
I knew what Alex was referring to, what he wanted me to consider. The tranqs. The stashed weapons filled with our liquid kryptonite hidden in the kitchen pantry. Bile rose in my throat and I swallowed it back down to my stomach. “No,” I said again. “He wouldn’t.”
“Wouldn't what?” Gavin asked. Looking from Alex to me, picking up on our inner dialogue.
Alex chewed on his thumbnail, debating his next words. We held each other’s gaze, both knowing the others would not be happy with what we had withheld from them.
“Alex?” Pierce said.
“We found something,” I said softly. “At Matteo’s apartment, the night before we left.”
There was a moment of silence, everyone waiting for an explanation.
“Tranqs.” Alex sighed.
“What the fuck?” Gavin growled in a voice I had not heard in a long time.
I let out my own sigh of resignation. “They were in a box in the pantry. We don’t know who they actually belonged to,” I tried to explain.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kyson seethed. “We never hold back information. Ever!”
The force of frustration and disappointment weighed on my mind and pushed through my mental wall.
“It doesn’t matter now,” Pierce stated. “Nara didn’t expect Merrick to be alive. She didn’t expect us to have his side of the story.”
“But she knows now?” I asked. My heart skipped a beat and my fingers went to my lips.
Pierce shrugged, “I don’t know.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I didn’t tell him. But now Anna knows, and they do communicate.”
My relieved sigh cut off sharply. “We should have killed her.” The words fell from my mouth and I did not regret them.
“Jade,” Kyson said sharply.
“Then we wouldn’t have to worry if Matteo knew or not, right?”
“With the resources he has, I have no doubt he knows what has happened every step of the way,” Pierce said.
“Charles has not been completely honest in the past, Jade.” Gavin pointed out.
“Don't!” I seethed. My emotions threatening to spill over. “I won’t consider it. Those things did not belong to him.”
“Why would he come with us?” Gavin asked. “If not to try to intervene in some way once our mission was completed?”
“Because he cared about me, asshole.” I turned away from Gavin to look at Pierce, “You said so yourself, he wanted to help protect me.You said you trusted him!”
Pierce ground his teeth together and a vein pulsed in his neck. He couldn’t argue with me.
“Have we checked his bags?” Kyson asked. “Made sure he didn’t bring them?”
My head hung and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“I’m going to look now,” Alex announced and ran out of the room
My eyes held Gavin’s as we waited. His face cold, but not unkind
. He looked over me with concern, his eyes heavy with emotion.
Two minutes later Alex was back in the room, “There’s nothing in his bags. No weapons. Just clothes.”
Pierce and Gavin looked at each other, communicating mentally. A weight on my chest lifted and I laid back down on my bed of blankets. I wanted to close my eyes and end the day.
Footsteps sounded as Kyson walked closer to me. “Our train leaves for Yakutsk tomorrow late morning.”
“How will we get there?” Alex asked.
“We’ll have to use Harold’s vehicle,” Pierce answered.
I cleared my throat. “And then where?”
There was a beat of silence. And another. No one answered.
“Where should we go?” Alex finally asked.
“Well,” Pierce answered, “there are only a few international flight options in Yakutsk, perhaps we should go to Moscow and decide from there?”
“No way,” Gavin huffed, “Other than this first train ride, I don’t want to do anything that Matteo and Nara planned for us.”
There were light tapping noises to my right, signaling Alex using his laptop. “The only option out of Yakutsk is to another small airport in the south part of Russia, and then it’s either Vietnam or Phuket.”
“Where is Phuket?” I asked, my words muffled into my pillow.
“Thailand,” Pierce answered.
More tapping noises, “There are no available flights to Vietnam for the next 4 days.”
“So, Thailand it is,” Gavin hummed to himself.
“We’ll have to withdraw money from an ATM when we get to Yakutsk,” Pierce stated. “We can’t use the card given to us by Matteo, and all of our other credit cards are spoiled with old identities.”
“Do we have any passports left?” Kyson asked.
“No,” Pierce and I said at the same time.
“Just the ones that Matteo created for us,” Pierce said.
A slew of curses flew around the room and my own stomach dropped.
Passports. Made by Matteo. So he could follow us anywhere we tried to go.
“Let’s use our old ones,” Kyson suggested.
“But Zraa-” Alex started.
