And suddenly he was there, kneeling next to me, his hand reaching out to grasp my arm. “Sage--,”
“It’s my fault they’re gone! I should have realized it was dangerous. Should have known we’d be caught. But I didn’t. I just wanted to go, just wanted to escape so badly, I thought of nothing else.”
My body trembled and the one thing I had never shared with another single person, not even my family, not even Rowan, came tumbling out. “I wish I went with them,” I whispered, pressing the heels of my hands against the moisture flooding my eyes. And it was the truth. If I’d gone with them, no one from Earth Society would be able to look at me with blame all these years. And I wouldn’t have lived with the question about what happened to them.
“Sage, no,” he spoke again, louder this time.
“Coal…,” but he cut me off, tugging my hands down and forcing me to look at him.
“Sage, did you come up with the plan to run down the path and into that forest?”
“Well, no, but…”
“But nothing! It isn’t your fault they got caught. The only thing that would have changed by you running down into that field is that the guards would have taken three people away instead of two. You can’t blame yourself for what happened. And if they were your friends, I’m sure they wouldn’t want you to either.”
No one had ever said that to me before. Instead, they just blamed me. Accused me with their eyes. Even Rowan, Rowan who remained my friend through it all, never mentioned it. Never brought it up. Because in his mind, I was just as much to blame as Juniper and Shale. And because of that, the guilt crushed me. Painfully. Daily. Right up until this very moment.
I turned my head, lifting it to his face. But not before blinking back the moisture still gathered there.
“You are the first person to ever say that to me. Thank you.”
He paused, his eyes widening in surprise at my words. A moment later he quietly nodded. Rising to his feet, he offered me a hand. “Come on, it’s going to be dark soon. They’ll start to get suspicious if we’re not back soon.”
Sniffing, I placed my hand in his and rose to my feet, but was surprised when he pulled me towards him, pressing me to his side. Sighing, I leaned my head against his chest as his arm came around my shoulders. His touch was comforting, so much so that I was unwilling to let him go. He trusted me enough to tell me his family’s secrets. And I trusted him with my own. Eventually we turned, leaving the calm peacefulness of the pond and made our way back, though his arm remained around me. Eventually he let go as we emerged from the trees and back into the field. With the blustery wind whipping at us, we hurriedly made our way inside.
Soon, the first frosts would arrive. But even sooner, our four weeks here would be ending.
Chapter 29
A week’s time passed. Most days I trained with Coal. The other days I would train with Aurora and Finn. It seemed they were only other trainees practicing in their free time besides those from Fire Society.
But now the training sessions were coming to an end. The final four days had arrived. Four days, one challenge per day.
Today was the Intellect Challenge Test. Out of all the tests we had to take, I was least concerned about this one. As soon as it was over, though, I was going to train again with Coal. I needed to be as prepared as possible for the next three challenges, and even though he kept telling me I was doing well, I still didn’t think it was enough.
There really was no doubt in my mind now. There was only one Division I had the chance of fitting in to. Even though it meant I’d never return home, I knew I couldn’t go into the Proletariat Division. I missed my family, desperately. I missed my mother’s warm smile, my father’s bear hugs. I missed my younger brother. It hurt, literally hurt, knowing I wouldn’t see Mason grow up. But if I went back, I would have to live the rest of my life working the fields, subservient. And I would go back to the loneliness I had become accustomed to so long ago.
Regent was out as well. How could it even be considered an option? I’d defied the laws, nearly to the point of removal from Earth Society. And if one were to go by what Rowan claimed alone, I would never be accepted into that Division.
As I stepped into the classroom, I knew in my head and heart that there was only one Division that made sense. Only one Division I could see myself becoming a part of. Combatant. I would be part of a group that fought to protect people. A warrior. It was also abundantly clear now that Combatant was the Division Coal would be selected for. And the thought of never seeing him again after the next few days wasn’t even comprehensible.
And yet, all of these thoughts meant nothing in actuality. I had no power except to perform the best I could and hope it would be enough.
Only a couple of people had already arrived. Two males from the Fire Society were in the back corner, their heads bent together, whispering about something. As soon as I walked in, they glanced up at me suspiciously. And…continued to stare. Suddenly self-conscious, I quickly moved to the other side of the room. Their gazes followed me, only beginning to converse again once I’d lowered myself into a chair.
Last night, as I’d been walking back to my room after dinner, one of the doors opened suddenly as someone stepped out into the hallway, nearly knocking into me, and I caught a shock of bright platinum blonde hair. Cinder. His apology cut off mid-sentence as soon as he saw who it was he almost bumped into. Giving me an irritated look, he slammed the door shut behind him and stalked off without another word.
First it was Blaze. Then Cayenne. Singe, the boy who’d slammed into my shoulder. Cinder. Now these two. What next? Was everyone from Fire Society going to start treating me like this?
Just then Coal walked into the room and offered me a quick side smile before moving to an empty desk next to the blonde-haired boy I often saw him with and taking his seat. Well, at least one person from Fire Society didn’t hate me.
I blinked at the sudden flurry of movement as Aurora threw herself into the seat next to me, yanking out her copious notes, hurriedly rifling through them. “Aurora,” I laughed, unable to suppress a grin. “Come on. I’ve seen you studying for this. I’ve seen the piles of notes covering your bed. You are more prepared for this than anyone else in here right now.”
“No, no I’m not,” she cried out in a panic without even looking up. “I’m forgetting it. I’m forgetting everything!”
I reached over and snatched her notes away as she desperately clawed for them. “Sage! Give them back!”
“Aurora, come on. Eden is about to start passing out the tests. You’ve got this.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I hurriedly added, “Just take a couple of deep breaths and the answers will come to you.”
She frowned at me. At least she looked a little less frenzied. But suddenly a wave of anxiety hit me as I handed back her notes. Aurora was too frenzied, but maybe I wasn’t frenzied enough. Had I really studied enough for this test? Now that I was thinking about it, I wasn’t so sure.
“Ahem,” Eden cleared her throat. “Is everyone ready to begin?”
Everyone grew quiet and the test was passed out. Heart pounding, I picked up my pencil and started to read the first question.
✽✽✽
Two hours later, I stumbled out of the classroom, my head a foggy mess. It felt like I could barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone put a sentence together. Initially I went to my room and tried to relax, but my body remained restless. Eventually I left and made my way down the hall towards the main entry, planning to go outside and see if the fresh air would help clear my mind.
“Sage!”
I turned to see Coal heading towards me and smiled. “Hi,” I said once he reached my side. “So, how did it go for you?”
“Fine,” he answered, but didn’t elaborate. We moved through the main entrance, pushing open the heavy metal doors. Breathing in the invigorating cool air, I already felt better. I glanced over at Coal. He wore a light gray shirt and dark charcoal pants today. H
is body posture seemed relaxed enough so that was reassuring.
“Just fine?” I asked slowly, raising my eyebrows.
“Okay, okay,” he muttered resignedly, shaking his head at me. “Honestly...I think went pretty well. I’m sure I missed some, but if we hadn’t studied together, I would have done horribly. Anyway, how did you do? You were out of there decently fast. Not as fast as Rowan though,” he added, his voice taking on the slightest hint of derision with the mention of Rowan’s name.
“It was fine.” I paused, realizing I just gave the same simple answer I hadn’t accepted from him, and added, “I’m just glad it’s over. I hope it’s going okay for Aurora.”
“Why? I saw that pile of notes you grabbed from her. Did she not study enough?”
“No, she studied too much if anything.” I shook my head, grinning. “But from the look on her face, I thought she was going to attack me when I grabbed those papers from her.”
He let out a snort at that.
A noise in the distance caught my attention and I turned to see a group of Fire Society trainees sparring in the distance, practicing for the upcoming Combat challenge. They tossed one another viciously to the ground, the sound of their clashing swords deafening.
But as we moved by them, I was surprised to see Coal’s expression grow cold. Although he kept both arms pinned tightly at his sides, his hands squeezed into fists.
“You’re different,” I said after we’d passed, breaking the silence.
His gaze moved swiftly back towards me. “Hmm?” he asked, confusion now taking place of the prior coldness.
“The way they fight with one another. So brutally. You’re different from them. From that.” I paused, trying to figure out the best way to describe it. “What I mean is...you talk with me. You acknowledge other people. And you don’t enjoy fighting. I’ve watched you during the training sessions. I’ve seen it in your face. The near regret in your eyes. You don’t want to hurt people.”
He shook his head almost in disbelief, his blue eyes burning with an emotion I couldn’t understand. “I’ve always felt different from the others,” he said, his voice rough now. “I’ve told you how my mother taught me kindness, fairness. I wasn’t raised like everyone else. Their families pushed them to be the best fighter, warrior, that they could be. And somehow, that got taken to mean the most brutal, the most feared. It was what they were raised to do, raised to become.”
I nodded silently as we crossed through the field.
“There is someone else here from Fire Society who feels the same way as I do. His name is Ember,” he continued. I frowned, trying to picture him, but couldn’t place the name. “He more or less grew up with me, with my family,” Coal added and I turned in surprise.
“Ember’s parents died when he was young and he was raised by his grandfather.” Coal’s expression darkened, a muscle in his jaw quivering. “His grandfather was the kind of person who…let’s just say it wasn’t the best environment for a young boy, so my family took him in. He is the only person here who knows what my family does with the herbs. Besides you, that is.”
He fell silent, staring off again into the distance. The cloudy overcast sky reflected in his eyes…and his thoughts. There was more to the story of him growing up in Fire Society. I knew he wasn’t ready to reveal it to me yet, though.
And that made me realize something. I hadn’t been all that forthcoming with him about my life in Earth Society prior to coming here. Yes, I told him the biggest, most painful part. But I hadn’t told him any of the good things, the things I missed.
“I wonder what my family is doing right now,” I murmured slowly.
Surprise flashed in his eyes at the sudden change in topic, but he jumped on it.
“Tell me about your family. What are they like?”
I closed my eyes for a second, thinking of them. “Well, it is just me, my mom, dad, and brother, Mason. He’s younger than me by a few years, but he’s already a couple inches taller.” I smiled, remembering the day he’d overtaken me.
“What about your home?”
“Small, cozy, made of logs. It’s simple and plain, but it was home.” Again, I smiled, picturing it in my mind. “There was even this small garden plot we had by the side of the house. I would grow all types of vegetables in it every year.” But as I continued, the smile started to fade from my face. “Well, every year until the guards came along and destroyed everyone’s gardens. The same day the ban went into place, preventing us from growing our own personal crops.” I bit my lip, thinking back to the day the guards came. Standing by as I watched them brutally rip out all the beautiful plants I’d grown so meticulously. The dirty mess they’d left in their wake as they headed off to the next house.
Coal nodded carefully. From the expression on his face, it was clear things hadn’t been all that different in Fire Society.
“What about your friends?” he asked, trying to change the subject. But that change was just worse.
A pain jabbed through me. What could I tell him? That there were no real friends to speak of. I couldn’t even say Rowan was a friend anymore.
I lowered my eyes, then murmured, “I just kept to myself pretty much.”
“Kept to yourself? What do you mean?”
“I mean, that besides Rowan, I really didn’t have many friends.” None actually. “Not after Juniper and Shale disappeared. And now I don’t even know what kind of friendship there is left between Rowan and I. If any.”
“Sage, wait,” Coal reached out suddenly and grasped my elbow, stopping me. Twisting around, I looked up at him. Concern shone clearly in his dark blue eyes. “What really happened between you and Rowan? Why would he stop talking to you as soon as you came here if you were friends your whole lives?”
I’d never told him about that final conversation between Rowan and me. Shrugging my shoulders, I stared at the ground.
“Sage,” he urged. A gentle tug on my wrist.
“Rowan said that he couldn’t be around me. Not if he wanted to get into Regent.”
Confusion tore at Coal’s features, brows drawing together. “Why would being around you affect him getting into Regent?”
I continued to stare at the ground, kicking at a clump of dead grass. “He said they’d associate him with…with what I did. In the past. And it would jeopardize his chances of getting in.”
Coal didn’t say anything for a moment. And I realized he hadn’t let go of my wrist.
He cleared his throat. “But he’s been friends with you your entire lives. Why would getting into Regent be more important to him than your friendship?”
“Because his sister is there.”
“What?”
“Terra,” I said with a slow sigh, finally raising my eyes. “He found out his older sister, Terra, was sent to Regent. And he’s afraid that if he hangs around me, he’ll never see her again.”
Coal fell silent. “I’m sorry he did that to you,” he said quietly after several long moments.
I forced a smile. “Thanks.” And I truly was thankful. To have someone like Coal in my life. Somehow, it made the loss of Rowan slightly more bearable.
✽✽✽
As we moved along, I spied a group of girls across the field, Ivy among them. But it wasn’t her my gaze was drawn to. No, it was the petite blonde standing next to her.
The same girl who had been pulling on Raven’s shirt sleeve, desperately trying to stop her from questioning Flint just moments before they took her away to see River.
I hadn’t seen Raven since. But maybe that girl knew what had happened to her. Knew if she was okay.
“Can you wait for just a minute?” I asked Coal. When he rose a brow, silently asking why, I added, “I just need to ask those girls over there something really quick.”
I let loose a breath and jogged over, already readying myself for a less than warm reception if Ivy had anything to do with it. Plastering a smile on my face, I called out a simple greeting.
They jus
t stared.
“Ivy, Raine, Coral,” I nodded towards the three of them. Raine and Coral gave me slight nods in return. Ivy just stared coolly, but her entire body had gone rigid.
I turned to the last girl. “Hi, it’s Misty, right?” I asked, angling my body towards the blonde girl.
“Yes, that’s right. What do you want, Sage?”
Surprised at the bluntness of her response, I found myself searching my head, trying to remember the reason I came over here in the first place.
“I was just wondering if you might know what happened to Raven. I haven’t seen her since the beginning of that first stealth training session. You seemed to know each other so I thought…”
My voice trailed off as any trace of smile, as minimal as it had been, disappeared from Misty’s lips. She flipped back her short blonde hair angrily, gray eyes flashing at my words.
“Yes, I knew her,” she said, her voice tight. “We both came from Air Society. We were friends. In response to your other question, no, I haven’t seen or heard from her since the trainers took her away at Flint’s request.”
I stood there, stunned. If her friend didn’t know where she’d gone, did anyone?
“Was there anything else you wanted?” she asked coldly, cutting off any possibility of a casual conversation. Ivy just stared at me, though the other two were clearly growing uncomfortable. Coral was knotting and unknotting her brown hair while Raine gazed down at her feet, twisting her single aquamarine lock around a finger.
“No, nothing else. Just that I am sorry about what happened.” No one said a word. I hadn’t expected any.
Finally Misty nodded, her face still expressionless. Ivy’s matched. The other two wouldn’t meet my gaze. Turning around, I briskly walked back across the field to where Coal waited for me, not wanting to spend one more moment with the group of them than I already had.
Awakening Earth and Fire: Earth and Fire Trilogy Book 1 Page 27
