Whisky Moments

by Bowie, Emily

  The face is the same one who saw me watching him and Sloan.

  *

  “Camilla, where the fuck did you go?” I come barging out when I see her through the glass window. I don’t stop moving till I’m hugging her. She scared me to death. “I’m sorry for being an ass. You just caught me off guard. Remember what we promised each other?” I bend down to look at her face better. “We trust each other. You can tell me stuff, even the small stuff, like you actually followed through with what you said to a biker.”

  We stand there silently. She smells so good, her perfume wafting toward me with the wind.

  “I just needed a minute. It wasn’t just that you got mad at me. I get that. It’s just been a long time since I had someone other than Kellie to trust and rely on. If I’m being really honest, the fact that it’s you scares the hell out of me.” She visibly holds her breath, waiting for me to reply.

  “We’re in this together. I swear on my grandmother’s grave I would never do anything to purposely hurt you.”

  “Good. I’m going to hold you to that.” She nudges my chest with her shoulder.

  “One more song then home?” I ask.

  Nodding, she agrees.

  It’s just past midnight and I’m exhausted. A month ago, I would have considered this early. In fact, I would have just reached the club about this time. It hasn’t taken long for my life to completely change, it seems.

  Meeting up with my family, I realize how fortunate I am to have all these people in my life.

  “Well, Three Rivers, it’s midnight and all your fairy godmothers have decided to shine down on us tonight. Our man, the man in the house, Rhett Steele, just dropped a new tune two minutes ago. Let’s fire it up!”

  The pub cheers and my stomach sinks. “Let’s go,” I tell Camilla, who’s looking at me, surprised at the news.

  “No, man, I want to say I witnessed the first time your song was played. Never had a chance to see this,” Kellen says, looking all supportive. If only he knew.

  Luke slaps my back. “You deserve this. Enjoy it,” he tells me while my sister loops her arm around him.

  If I thought I had Camilla, it will be all gone now. Before the DJ can spin the new song, I lean into her ear. “I’m sorry.” It’s all that’s left to say. I fucked up again. I did this. I will take the consequences like a man, by being up front about it all. Something I should have mentioned as soon as I regretted the decision.

  Camilla’s eyes become hesitant. She knows nothing good is going to come of this but doesn’t want to believe it. I can see it shining through her. She wanted to believe in me. That’s what hurts the most. We wanted this, and I am the one ruining it.

  The soft melody starts then slowly picks up for a catchy upbeat tune. The dance floor fills up, with people already loving the new sound. Camilla’s sound.

  Her eyes dart from the dance floor to me, pleading I didn’t just go and do it again.

  Then my voice with her lyrics flirt with everyone, making them move their bodies more, and the realization hits that she was right about me all along. I feel sucker-punched.

  “Let me explain,” I plead as she turns on her heels, going right back out the door, with Sloan and Shay looking back and forth from her to me.

  Luke and Kellen stare at me questioningly. Bringing my hand up, I simply state, “I fucked up.”

  CHAPTER 34

  I rush out of the bar, gasping for air. Each breath I take refuses to fill my lungs. I head past the parking lot toward the road before I’m hunched over, my hands on my thighs, trying desperately to get a deep breath in.

  The night’s air is cold, and the breeze makes my skin prickle with bumps. Each shallow breath I take becomes easier till I find a way to stand up straight. The road ahead is deserted. The thump of the music can still be felt.

  For the first time in many years, I think about the night my daughter was conceived. To say I was a wild child is an understatement. I was out partying at the age of sixteen in a place similar to this. I was out with some older people I knew, but they had all ditched me by the night’s end. Leaving me alone and deserted, trying to find a way home.

  I stood out on the sidewalk like this, sorting through my options, which none came to mind. My parents thought I was sleeping safely at home in bed. Then a truck pulled up, and the same guy I was dancing with offered me a ride home. He was cute; I wasn’t afraid of anything. We made the best of the night and he dropped me off before my parents got up for work. A few weeks later, I had a surprise and no phone number to call.

  That was my wakeup call. It was at that point I realized I needed to get my act together. I wasn’t a child. I was a young adult making grown-up decisions.

  A cop car pulls up and the window goes down. Nodding at the police officer, I begin walking aimlessly, unsure which direction to go.

  “You look a little lost,” the officer says before stepping out of his vehicle. “You need a ride?”

  Turning, I look at him, contemplating.

  He continues, “I’m not sure if anyone told you, but it’s not safe to be walking around here by yourself at night.”

  Do I go back to the house, forcing myself to see Rhett, or wait at the airport for the next flight out?

  Stepping toward the officer, I see his name tag says Rhodes. Another step closer, and we’re only a few feet away from each other.

  “Camilla.” Rhett’s strong voice comes out of nowhere, pulling me back.

  “Be careful around those Steele boys, miss,” I’m told as he goes back to his side of the door.

  “I know I fucked up,” Rhett calls, and I roll my eyes, hating how he looks so hurt and torn over his actions. He doesn’t get to do this to me. I’m the victim here, not him. “Please let someone take you home. Y’all can go back, and I can get a ride with someone else if you can’t stand the thought of being in the same car as me.”

  “Good, because I’m not getting into the same vehicle as you.”

  *

  The once soft bed feels lumpy and is uncomfortable as I toss and turn, my body refusing to sleep. Standing up, I put on a pair of sweatpants over my sleep shorts before heading down the stairs.

  I’ve already messaged Mindy to get the plane ready to take me home tomorrow. Going to the kitchen, I open the fridge, its light brightening the small space. Nothing grabs my interest before I go into the family room. In the corner, I spy one of Rhett’s guitars, and picking it up, I head outside toward the barn.

  I flick on a small bulb that keeps the room dim as I place a stool in the middle of the wide hall, horse stall doors lining the area.

  Pressing the record icon from my phone, I begin to strum the guitar, retaliating against Rhett’s song. It’s my rebuttal, and I pour my heart into it, opening my wounds for anyone listening to the song. I wouldn’t call it a hate song; it’s more of a “why did you rip my heart out, and you’re a bastard” type of song. By the end, I have tears running down my face, and I feel raw. I needed to cry.

  Before I think twice, I upload it onto my social medias. I have always been private about my life, but I want people to see I’m not the monster. I’m tired of that label. This is the only way I can think of how to allow them in, to see the real me.

  It all could backfire in my face, making it worse than before. But I never got to this point in my life without taking chances.

  My chest feels lighter and my head has stopped spinning, making me hope that just maybe I will be able to go to fall asleep at some point tonight. Not quite ready to head back inside I aimlessly strum the guitar allowing the sound to give me comfort. I’ll deal with all of the aftermath tomorrow. Maybe it will be a better day.

  *

  Watching the truck pull onto the road, I make the decision not to go home. I don’t want Camilla to feel uncomfortable because of me. Pulling my hand down my face, I welcome the stretch of my skin as I blow out a deep breath.

  “Hey, Rhett, where you headed?” Mac, the feed store guy, asks, rolling down his win
dow. I’ve known him my whole life, visiting his store from a young age with my dad.

  “Looks like the ranch.”

  He nods for me to hop in and I do. It feels strange not to have Camilla at my side. I had quickly gotten used to her company. I miss her, and I saw her less than five minutes ago.

  When I step out of Mac’s truck, the sound of animals and the smell of horses fill the air. Instantly, I can feel my airway contract and I sneeze.

  Hitting the cab of his truck, I wave goodbye as I stand to look at the land where I grew up. Our family house that burned down no longer holds any reminisce. Its ashes were removed, allowing my parents to have a fresh start with any type of house they would like.

  The night’s darker out here, but the barn lights allow enough of a glow to guide me toward Brax’s temporary trailer that he and Raya have been living in till their house gets rebuilt too.

  They have a small wooden porch I take a seat on, in what looks like a homemade wooden chair. It’s peaceful here, and I wish I had my guitar. For the first time in over a year, a melody begins to peck through my head and my fingers itch to play.

  My hands move as if I’m playing the chords. I sit here for an hour until I think I have its sound almost perfect. The only reason I head inside is to grab a piece of paper to write down the notes before I forget.

  Not even a half-hour goes by before I’m back on the small makeshift porch, continuing to work on my song. I haven’t felt this inspired in years.

  Looking at the paper in front of me, I have the warmest yet a sad love song. It’s one that resonates deep inside me, and this is how I realize I am most definitely in love with Camilla. I truly feel like I’m hurting more than her at this moment.

  I sit back in my chair, at a loss for words.

  I’m the biggest idiot in the world. I let her just go, with no fight. Nothing. No one can accuse me of being a fast learner.

  I have to go to her. I need to. We can’t let it finish like this. Getting up, I call Kellen to come pick my ass up so I can make this right.

  *

  Walking through my sister’s ranch, I can hear Camilla’s guitar lulling the animals to sleep. It’s peaceful, and I can only hope I can make it better.

  For the first time in what could be ever, my steps don’t feel as confident as they typically are. I open the barn door slightly, hearing her music float out toward me, moving me in closer.

  She is strumming one of my guitars, her eyes closed, her shoulders moving with the slow melody. There are black smudges around her eyes and down her face, making me realize she is crying because of me. The thought sucker-punches me.

  Needing a breath, I close the door, going in to gather my other guitar before I make myself known.

  I just need her to know the whole song thing was before we got to know each other. Before Three Rivers. If I can do that, I might have a fighting chance.

  Slowly I re-enter the barn, listening to her. Camilla has so much talent; it radiates off of her. Getting her chords down, I begin to play with her, hoping she doesn’t push me away.

  My fingers strum and our melodies mix together. Slowly, she opens her eyes and begins to sing. She isn’t hiding any of her emotions, allowing me to see her vulnerability, her hurt I’ve caused. She’s letting it all out. The proud woman I know has allowed her guard to fall for me to see her. The real her.

  Before Three Rivers, this would have never happened. She would have played it off as nothing.

  When her song finishes, I take my chance. “I’m sorry, Camilla.”

  She looks at me, contemplating my words, probably trying to see if I mean them. “It doesn’t matter now.” She smiles weakly at me, shrugging.

  Placing my guitar down, I go to her, taking her hands in mine. “I mean it. I’ll make a statement. I’ll fix this. I promise.”

  “Rhett, this isn’t the first time.” Her voice is low, causing me to bend toward her more.

  “That was before Three Rivers, before everything,” I plead.

  Her hands pull from mine. “Like I said it doesn’t matter. What’s done is done.”

  “I’ll show you I’m sorry. I know what I say doesn’t mean shit right now. But I promise you will see that I am sorry.”

  Her head cocks to the side as she stares at me. “If you still feel that way in the morning, we can talk.”

  I nod, not wanting the night to end like this. I start playing again. It takes a few moments before she picks up hers and plays along with me.

  We’re not strumming any song in particular, only going off what the other one is playing. It doesn’t take long until we get what sounds like a chorus down for a duet.

  We lock eyes, and I feel adrenaline spike through me. This is what it used to be like. I could write a song anywhere, at any time. This feels even more special, because it’s with her.

  She begins to sing to our chorus. At first, it’s just a few words, then I build on it. We go back and forth until we have three lines. It’s perfect.

  Camilla has always kept me on my toes, challenging me. The fact that she is my inspiration no longer surprises me. I’m shocked I didn’t see it sooner. See what she really is. Everyone thinks they have her pinned down to this stereotype of a diva, hard to get along with, dating all the time. She’s the opposite. She’s down to earth, the kindest person I have ever met, and she lights up my world. I was so blind before.

  We play into the wee hours until the song is finished. I’m ecstatic.

  “There, now you don’t have to steal one.” She gives me a wink and we share a smile. I know we need to talk about tonight, but I’m selfish and want to live in the now. It’s going too perfectly not to.

  I watch as she yawns, and I get up, pulling out a blanket, and spread it out on some clean hay. “Come here.” Kneeling, I try to make it as comfortable as possible and lie down, hoping she will join me.

  With a small nod, she follows me and curls up into the side of me with her head resting on the nook of my shoulder. We lie there in silence until all I can do is allow my eyes to close.

  CHAPTER 35

  I wake up to Shay’s foot nudging me as she sips her coffee that’s still steaming. “Good morning.” Her face looks as if she wants to ask if Camilla and I made up, like she’s still not too sure.

  “Hi.” My voice is groggy, and I realize Camilla is no longer beside me. “Camilla getting coffee?” I ask, wondering if the hay was too uncomfortable for her. I should have taken her back inside, but I didn’t want to lose the magic of last night.

  “She’s gone, Rhett.”

  I hate that look of sympathy on her face. It takes me a few seconds to register what she said before my brain starts to wake up. Sitting up, I question, “Come again?”

  Her shoulders deflate and I realize I still didn’t lay it on the line for Camilla. I could have. A half chuckle leaves me, even though I don’t think it’s funny. So this is how the other half lives. This is how all those women felt the morning after, when I left without a simple goodbye.

  “She left this morning on that big fancy plane of hers,” my sister tells me.

  I should have known Camilla would make me work for it. For some reason, that puts a smile on my face.

  “Why are you smiling?” Shay asks, looking confused.

  “She’s the first woman to ever make me chase her,” I answer simply. “I’m going to win her back.” Standing up, I stretch, feeling rejuvenated.

  I’m optimistic, and the adrenaline of writing two songs has my blood flowing with excitement. I will show Camilla that I love her; it’s the only way to win her back.

  My sister laughs at me as she leaves the barn, shaking her head. For the first time, I can see myself coming back to this town for holidays and maybe even to live one day. I’ve never felt this way before.

  My phone in my pocket vibrates, and I see Dick’s name flash across the screen.

  “Dick! What the fuck?!” I begin to walk the grounds of my sister and her husband’s ranch, pacing as I talk
.

  “We were hacked, I swear. I was able to get it down, but had to place it back up because of the overwhelming need people have with wanting it.”

  “I told you I didn’t want it up. Take it off fucking iTunes.”

  “You’re the boss. But this would help with your financial situation.”

  “I don’t need it, Dick. I wrote two songs last night. I’m on a roll. I’m back! It’s Camilla; she has brought life back into me. I know you wanted me to break things off, but I can’t. The media, you, me, we’ve all painted her in the wrong light. She would give anyone the shirt off her back if they needed it. She does things, even if she’s scared. She always tries to help the homeless people she meets. She could have probably sued me or something when I took her song, but she went on with grace. She’s a way better person than me, and I have finally found someone who makes me want to be a better person.” I take a breath, saying that all in one long spew, needing to get it out.

  “Can I talk?” Dick asks, making me chuckle. He’s always all business, no play. I swear he dreams of what he needs to get done. This man has never taken a vacation since I’ve met him. “I get it, man. You’re in love and want to scream it.” He actually sounds happy.

  “You do?” I thought I’d have to convince Dick.

  “But she’s like every other woman you know. They use you, take advantage of your goodwill.”

  I should have expected this. Dick doesn’t change his mind… ever. The only reason we haven’t butted heads is he’s always been all about me, and it’s served me well.

  “What are you talking about? I’m the one who’s always been an asshole to her.”

  “Go onto any social media site. You’ll see her viral video. It’s her rebuttal to your song.”

  I take a deep breath. I hadn’t even considered she would do something like that. But knowing Camilla, I get it.

  “Both of y’all’s fans are hating you in a big way. You have to cut her loose. Otherwise, you will be like every other stupid man who tried to take on the Black Widow. You’ll be bankrupt, back in Three Rivers, living with your parents. The exact same way I found you.”