Desertion

by River Savage

  “Come on, Nurse Bell, you know me. Hell, you saw my ass last time.” He throws my girls his devilish grin, one that obviously works going by their expressions. Heat floods my face, and down the front of me, and I don’t need to look down at my chest to see a blush start to form. Damn it, why do I have to be so awkward?

  “You’ve seen him naked?” Lissy spits out her drink and looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.

  “Umm, well, not technically,” I fumble to explain as everyone waits, while staring holes into my face. “Mr. Carter here was a patient at the hospital a couple of months back,” I explain, but I don’t think they are listening, still caught on the word naked and visions of Jesse.

  “What does ‘not technically’ mean?” Manda pushes, proving my point. Instead of answering, I look to the troublemaker for some help. I have no idea why; he’s the one who just put me in this spot.

  “I think she means, when she saw my naked ass, she closed those big, green eyes of hers and refused to look.” Jesse laughs and I feel my face burn again, this time in embarrassment. Great, just what I need, them knowing I acted like some inexperienced virgin.

  The first time I ever met Jesse was last year. His club took over the hospital when two of their women came in badly injured. It was touch and go for both, Holly and Kadence. Holly came in with a gunshot wound, and Kadence with a punctured lung. At first I was taken back by Jesse’s inappropriate lines and dangerous smile. I mean his friends were in hospital recovering from some serious injuries and he was trying to hit on me. I soon came to realize it’s just who he is.

  My second encounter with Jesse went down the same way. He was admitted after being in a bar fight that ended with twenty-four stitches and a busted up foot that needed surgery. From what I’ve gathered, he stepped in and helped Holly from being attacked by a crazed man. Holly suffered a fall, but Jesse took the brunt of it all. Still didn’t stop him from hitting on me.

  “Oh, my God why the hell would you close your eyes, Bell?” Lissy asks pulling me out of the memory. Jesse turns and fires a smile at her question and I die a little more. If only he knew I peeked. A little.

  “What?” I shake my head, trying to get myself together. Having Jesse in my space, outside of work, is messing with me.

  “Yes, much to my disappointment, Nurse Bell doesn’t appreciate a fine ass when one is staring her in the face,” Jesse further jokes, and I can tell he’s enjoying this way too much. I might not know the man very well, but what I do know is he likes to push the boundaries. With the handful of times I’ve been around him, I know he thrives off pushing everyone’s buttons.

  “Well, who said it was fine?” I counter, even shocking myself as the words leave my mouth. It’s all lies. His well-defined ass is an image that flashes in my mind on a regular basis. I just don’t need him to know that.

  “Ahhh, there she is,” he replies, and I groan knowing my slip has only stirred the bad boy in this man. I reach for Manda’s vodka and throw it back. My body instantly warms as I ignore not only the burning sensation coating my throat, but Jesse as well. This is the last thing I need tonight, him messing with me, so I decide to go back to ignoring him. My friends were already on my back about my mom, but now… now their eyes are growing wide, that me, simple, quiet Bell knows a man like Jesse.

  “Umm, that wasn’t lemonade.” Manda smirks, knowing I don’t drink, but I don’t respond. I keep my face blank, pretending the taste of the alcohol is fine and I’m not secretly wishing I could wash away the taste of the vile liquid with water.

  “How’s your ankle?” I turn back to Jesse, forgetting my plan to ignore him. His face shuts down at the question, his body tense under my stare.

  “Wanna dance?” he answers with his own question, leaning into my space. As much as I want to turn and not get lost in his presence, I can’t take my eyes off him.

  “I don’t dance.” I swallow hard past my dry throat.

  “You don’t dance?” Jesse laughs not believing me. “Everyone dances, Bell.”

  “Oh, she doesn’t do a lot of things,” Manda answers for me. I try to kick her under the table but somehow end up kicking Lissy. Shit.

  “Why the hell did you kick me?” Lissy complains, leaning forward and rubbing her shin.

  “I’m sorry.” I look down at my lap, half wanting the floor to open up and swallow me, and half wanting to break out in laughter. Could this get any more awkward?

  I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I hardly know this man, and I feel like I’m back in high school, and Kyle Granger just came and sat down at our table.

  “You playing hard to get makes me want to get you a whole lot more.” Jesse stands, moving closer to me. I force myself not to look up and be drawn into his dangerous charm. But my efforts are lost when he leans down closer into my space and whispers in my ear, “I’m all for a game, Bell, but I gotta know what I’m playing for.” A shiver runs through me as his lips slightly graze the shell of my ear. “That’s it, sweetheart, you feel it too. Be a whole lot easier if you just surrendered now.” His hot breath warms my skin, and for reasons unknown to me, a small, pained moan leaves my lips. He steps back and smirks down at me, like he’s proud of his accomplishment, while my heart beats rapidly in my chest. What is happening here?

  “Holy shit,” one of my girls whispers beside me, pulling me from my daze. My head sweeps over to them, and the small pink blush coating Manda’s cheeks tells me this is bad. So bad.

  Jesse Carter is dangerous. His words are his weapons, and when up against him, I’m left unarmed.

  I clear my throat and hold my stomach. The sudden urge to do things I’ve never done before starts drumming in my subconscious. What the hell is it with this man? Momma always said don’t let a man’s words affect you, but with Jesse, there’s no control. I need to stay strong, just like the other few times he has tried his lines on me.

  “Mr. Carter, whatever game you think I’m playing, I’m not. I’m just me, no one special and I don’t play games. I promise you.” I stand, needing space. I ignore the loss of his heat when he steps back, and I ignore the stunned looks on my friends’ faces. Instead, I dip my head, keep my eyes on my feet and walk as fast as I can away from the table.

  “Okay, Bell, you win. I don’t chase,” he shouts out after me, but I’m too shaken to respond. I push my way through the crowd, hoping whatever just happened, never happens again. I’ve never had a reaction like this to anyone before, why does it have to be him?

  I know he thinks I’m playing a game, but I have no idea what he’s talking about. What I do know is Jesse Carter is in the big leagues and I’m nowhere near ready for a round.

  Not even close.

  Three

  Jesse

  I watch as she retreats to the bathroom. Her head down, hiding her embarrassed face from everyone. I didn’t think I would get to her in just a few words, but judging by her reaction, I got to her good. I know she’s not like the women I’m normally attracted to, but her reserved personality and her good-girl innocence are what fucking gets to me. Like she has no idea how goddamn sexy she is or that every man in this club has their eyes on her ass, while picturing their dicks sliding between her large tits. I’m not gonna lie. I’ve pictured it. Even her long dark hair, which is pulled back from her face in some boring-ass style, does nothing to put me off, because on her, it’s fucking sexy. Sweet, innocent Bell is fucking sexy, and for reasons I can’t even explain, I need a fucking taste. But going by the blush she wears whenever I smirk at her, she would never be able to handle me and my one-time deal. I’d eat her alive.

  “I should go check on her.” One of her friends stands, breaking my stare and the silence.

  “Leave her a few minutes,” the cute redhead to my left says. “So you’re the Jesse who asked her to marry you?” She turns her attention back to me.

  “She declined.” I offer, remembering the last time I saw Bell. It was the night I needed stitches after my birthday party. I hadn’t planne
d on getting glassed by some fucked-up ex-husband of one of the women the Rebels had helped get out of town, but having Bell as my nurse made it a whole lot better. Especially when my parents insisted they drop by. I remember her putting up with my shit, then when my father arrived, she even put him in his place and held her ground when he demanded a doctor instead of a nurse. Asshole.

  “She’s shy,” the small blonde to my right adds, helping me put the pieces together.

  “I can tell.” I look back over to the entryway of the bathroom, waiting for her to come back out. I know I said I wouldn’t chase, and it’s true. I’m not fucking whipped like Nix, my Prez, or any of my other brothers who have settled down in the last year, but fuck, having Bell in Liquid, out of her nurse get-up, and wearing some sexy tight jeans which show just how tight her ass is, has me wanting just one fucking taste. What the fuck is wrong with me? This is the last thing I need right now.

  I’ve already picked up a fuck tonight. I remind myself and look over at the blonde I left at the bar to come and play with Nurse Bell. She waves, and I know I shouldn’t leave her hanging.

  “Well, ladies, have a good night.” I force myself to retreat, and move away from her friends. I’ve made my play and my prediction was right. As much as I’d love to sink myself balls deep into Nurse Bell, innocent women like her are too much work.

  “You think she’s playing hard to get. She really isn’t,” the last one of her friends speaks up, which surprises me since she hasn’t uttered one word since I walked over to their table. I stop and turn to take in what she is saying. “The fact she even talked to you shocks us, so don’t give up.” She smiles and the thought of having to work harder doesn’t excite me, but it plants a seed. Maybe I could do with a challenge? Something that keeps me occupied more than the fucks I seem to be finding lately. I don’t know what it is about her, but something pulls me to her, and each time I see her, it gets stronger.

  “Okay, thanks.” I nod, taking their advice and moving away. Looking at the bathroom door one more time, I force myself to let go of the idea. She’s not what I need, and I’m nowhere near what she needs. We’re better off without each other. I lock eyes back with the blonde waiting patiently for me and give her a wink. Her face explodes into a smile, one that reminds my cock how much fun he was in for, and winks back. Now this is what I need. I know I’m going to enjoy this one tonight.

  “Hey, Jesse, the VIP room has a problem with one of the credit cards someone gave us,” Tammy, Liquid’s manager, shouts out over the music before I make it back to the blonde.

  “Yep.” I nod, taking the card and the bill up the stairs to sort it out.

  Never intended for parties, the VIP room has evolved over the last year. I’m not complaining; this joint does well, really well. But it takes up a lot of my time. Not that I have anything better to do. Between Liquid and the Rebels, all that’s left is fucking bitches to get me through the loneliness.

  Taking the stairs two at a time, I ignore the pain in my ankle, which comes about every time I climb these damn stairs, and prepare to deal with the asshole who handed us a dead card. We don’t get them often, but when we do, it’s normally some hotshot fucker who thinks his shit don’t stink and can cover it. That’s when my happy-go-lucky attitude turns into the pissed-off biker I can be.

  I never thought this would be my lifestyle, joining the MC, and running a club like Liquid. Growing up, my career was pretty much planned out. Go to school and then become a Marine like my father. While it did happen that way to a degree, I fought to get there. I became a firefighter when I was nineteen, pissing my father off beyond all belief. But I didn’t care; I was doing something I wanted. And it felt fucking awesome. I finally had a close family. We might not have been family by blood, but we had each other’s backs, and I felt like I had a place where I belonged. Then 9/11 happened. A deep-seated need to do more ate at me, and after a fucked-up argument with my father one evening, I let his words spur me on. I joined the Marines. I went to war and I served my country. At first, it wasn’t what I really wanted, but like everything I’ve ever done, I gave it my all. I fought for my country and for the lives lost, but in the process, I lost a little of myself. It was my decision to serve, but it hasn’t stopped me from letting the anger eat at me. If I hadn’t let my father’s words push me, maybe I wouldn’t be here. Maybe I would still be hanging out with my brothers from the Clark County Fire Department. Don’t get me wrong, I fucking love the life I have. The lifestyle, the women, the club and my brothers, but it doesn’t stop the ‘what ifs.’ What if I never did a second tour? What if I didn’t fuck up and lose one of my best friends and ruin the life of another in the attack. It’s like I lost the certainty of who I was while I was over there, and now, as much as I like where I’m at, I don’t really know who I am. Or what I want.

  Shaking my head clear of a part of my life I like to forget, I get my head back in the game and sort out what I have to in order to get back to the woman who’s waiting for me. Running into Bell has messed up my game plan tonight.

  After dealing with the asshole, I make my way back down to the bar. Again, my eyes find the table where Bell sits. She’s back from the bathroom, her back to me, but even from behind, my cock stirs thinking about what I could do to her. Get your shit together, Jesse. One, she’s too young, and two, you don’t need hard work. You need easy. I continue to remind myself.

  “Who’s the nerd?” Sarah, one of the club’s bartenders asks, coming to stand next to me.

  “No one.” I brush Bell off as nothing and ignore the bad taste it leaves in my mouth. A woman like Bell is far from no one.

  “You haven’t stopped looking at her.” She pushes and if I didn’t know Sarah liked women, I’d say she was jealous.

  “I know her. Not that way, but I know her. It’s no big deal.”

  “She’s not your normal type,” she continues, trying to piss me off.

  “She has a pussy.” I try for my normal deflection and ignore her comment. If in doubt, always deflect.

  “You know what I’m talking about.” She stops and watches me carefully, too carefully.

  “No, I don’t. Jesus, Sarah. I swear you’re worse than a wife.” I throw a bar rag at her and move away.

  “What would you know about a nagging wife?” She laughs and I decide to give up arguing with her. I’m not in the mood tonight. She’ll only keep pushing.

  “I’m heading out. You got yourself covered for tonight?” I grab my keys from under the bar. I need to go back to the clubhouse and fuck Bell out of my head. How fucked up is that!

  “Yeah, yeah, go,” she encourages, before stepping up to take another order.

  “See you tomorrow,” I call, stepping back out from behind the bar and taking the hand of Candy, or is it Mandy? I don’t give a fuck and it won’t matter after tonight anyway. With one last look at Bell’s table, I make my way out to my bike. If only it was Bell I was putting on the back tonight. Regardless, I pull the blonde bitch behind me out to my bike.

  “You have a bike?” Mandy/Candy asks and I hold back my eye roll—I don’t know why I do it to myself. These women are all the same. I can recite word for word what she’s about to say next, without even thinking about it.

  “Oh, my God, I’ve never been on a bike before.” She bounces on her feet and I watch her tits bounce with her.

  Yep, now, I remember why I pick up women like this.

  “Baby, knowing you’re so excited over my bike makes me want to fuck you over the back.” I lean in and kiss her with everything I have. I don’t normally let bitches kiss me, but my head is still messed up over Nurse Bell. I’m desperate to get her out of my head.

  “Do it,” she begs, her hands move to my belt. For a minute I think about taking her there, but knowing Bell is just inside still has me on edge. It takes everything in me not to dump the bitch that’s searching for my cock and go back inside to Bell.

  Fuck, what is it with her?

  A simple, innocent woman
has me wanting to break all my rules. Every single one of them.

  “There will be plenty of time for that, baby.” I step out of her reach and rearrange myself.

  “Okay, but hurry, my pussy is dripping.” The bitch teases and it’s all it takes for my cock to come back to life and focus on the woman willing and waiting on my bike.

  Now, if only my mind would follow through.

  Four

  BELL

  “Tell us, how well do you know Jesse Carter?” I am grilled as soon as I make my way back to the table.

  “I already told you. He was in the hospital a couple of months back. That’s the last time I saw him.” I sit back down and take a breather. Thank God, he’s gone. I discreetly look around to see where he went but come up empty.

  “He went upstairs, relax.” Kate points to the VIP section. I nod slightly not letting them know how affected I really am. I don’t know what it is about him, but having him in my presence messed with me tonight. I wasn’t sure why, but each time he comes crashing into my life, I’ve managed to keep myself under control. Could he be wearing me down?

  “Did you really see his ass?” Manda leans forward ready for the scoop. I knew they wouldn’t drop this. Knowing them, they will never drop this.

  “Gosh, I don’t remember.” The awkward moment when I walked in and saw the man’s ass flashes in front of my eyes.

  “She’s lying. Look at her face. You’ve been holding out on us, Bell.” Lissy laughs but I don’t bite.

  “He’s a player.” I let them know what I already know. Yeah, I’ve only had minimal conversations with the man, but I swear, I can tell.