Tattooed Dots

by Knight, Kimberly

  “What? Really?” she whined.

  “I’m sorry, Peanut, but it’s the way it happened. We have your first practice tonight. Aren’t you excited?”

  “I’m scared.”

  We paused our conversation as went through the security scanner. After we put on our shoes and grabbed all of our belongings, we walked to our gate. Avery was staring at his phone.

  “Have you heard from Nicole?”

  “Yeah, they made it back safe. Jared didn’t pick them up from the airport.”

  “What? She’s just telling you now?”

  “No, she told me last night while you were sleeping.”

  Fucking Jared. How the fuck had he left Brooke and Nicole at the airport? What kind of loser did that? I wanted to change our flight and go to Boston. I wanted to beat the shit out of him!

  “Dad?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m scared. I don’t want to go to practice,” Cheyenne said, bringing the conversation back to her and taking my thoughts away from Brooke.

  “Don’t be scared, Peanut. I’ll be there to help you.”

  “I guess,” she said, pulling her phone out of her backpack.

  “Text Nicole for Brooke’s number. I want to call her,” I said to Avery. We arrived at our gate, taking a seat to wait for boarding.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, man. Brooke would have given you her number if she wanted you to call her.”

  “I don’t care. Give me your phone, and I’ll do it.”

  “No,” he said, moving the phone out of my reach.

  “Just do it, or I’ll tackle you right here and take it from you.”

  “Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom,” Cheyenne said.

  My head was spinning. “Let me go with you. I don’t want you to get kidnapped,” I said, standing up.

  “I won’t get kidnapped. I’m ten!”

  “You never know. Let’s go.”

  I walked her to the bathroom and waited outside while she went in and did her business. My mind kept thinking about Brooke being stranded at the airport. I wanted to talk to her and find out why Jared was such an asshole and why he had done that. If my girlfriend left on vacation for eight days, I would be at the airport early to make sure I was there when her plane arrived.

  By the time Cheyenne and I got back to the gate, they were boarding the plane already.

  “Did you get her number?”

  “No.”

  “Do it!” I said, handing my boarding pass to the attendant.

  “I’ll do it when we land. Nicole wants me to call her when we get to JFK.”

  “Fine, but you better call her as soon as we land.”

  “I will, calm down.”

  “Do it!”

  “Jesus, let my phone boot up,” Avery groaned.

  We had just landed at JFK. The entire flight I’d thought about Brooke. I thought about the way Jared had sealed his fate, and how Brooke would break up with him, and how I would swoop in and make her mine. It didn’t help that the movie Cheyenne picked to watch, Man of Steel, ended up being a love story at the end.

  I waited for Avery to text Nicole as we exited the plane; I wanted to rip the phone from his hands. “Well?” I questioned when we arrived at the baggage claim.

  “She … um, hasn’t texted me back.”

  “Call her!”

  “She’s at work. I’m sure she’ll text me back when she goes on a break or something.”

  I groaned … again. I just wanted to hear Brooke’s voice and make sure she was okay. Tell her that I was there if she wanted to talk or ask for advice on how to break up with Jared. My brain was jumbled with so many emotions that I wasn’t used to. Brooke not saying goodbye had hurt me, but I understood. I just didn’t want her walking out of my life.

  We grabbed our bags and met my dad out on the curb. By the time we arrived at my house, we had told him all about the cruise, and Cheyenne had told him all about California. Avery’s truck was at my house, so my dad dropped us all off there. School was out for the day, and practice wasn’t for another hour, so Courtney was waiting at our doorstep.

  “I’ll see you at the gym at nine. Text me Brooke’s number when Nicole calls you back,” I said, tossing Avery his keys. Cheyenne and Courtney had already gone to Cheyenne’s room.

  “She did already.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Look, you need to sit down.”

  “Why? If she didn’t dump Jared yet, I’ll be a man and deal with it,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the kitchen counter.

  “That’s not it.”

  “Okay?”

  “You know how Brooke’s shoulder has been bothering her?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well …” he paused, taking a deep breath. “Nicole made her go to the doctor today and they took an X-ray. They, uh … they found a mass, dude.”

  I felt like the wind was knocked out of me.

  I couldn’t fathom two women who I loved dying before their time. Dana had her whole life to look forward to, but she would never see Cheyenne go to her first dance, go to prom, meet her first boyfriend (I didn’t want to think about that day), or watch me walk her down the aisle.

  I knew that I was a bad person for the way I’d treated Dana, but I had changed. I wouldn’t survive if Brooke died, too. Deep down in my heart, I knew Brooke was meant to be my forever. I wanted to wrap her in my arms forever, kiss her and tell her that everything would work out. No one had ever been there to take care of her. She was the one to always take care of everyone else, and now my other best friend was keeping me from her.

  “Get her number for me now,” I growled. I was beyond pissed. Every fiber of my being was telling me to get to Boston.

  “Nicole said it’s not a good time.”

  “I know it’s not a good time. She fucking has a tumor, Avery!”

  “Dude, don’t shoot the messenger. We’ll go this weekend. You need to spend time with C.C. You haven’t seen her in a week, and today is her first softball practice. I’m going to go see if the bar is still standing, and tomorrow we need to go through the books and make sure everything went smoothly.”

  He was right, but I didn’t like being so far away from her. I couldn’t save Dana, but I was going to do everything in my power to save Brooke.

  She was a fighter.

  She was strong.

  She was my Superwoman.

  “Fine. Give Nicole my number and tell her to give it to Brooke. Tell her that I want to talk to Brooke—no, tell her I need to talk to Brooke.”

  “I will.”

  Avery left me standing in my kitchen, looking out the window and thinking about Brooke. Men are supposed to be strong, but around Brooke, I was wearing my heart on my sleeve. I wanted to show her how much I wanted her. The way she kissed me, I knew that she wanted me. I thought Jared was the hurdle, but the tumor might be the hurdle I can’t jump over.

  “Daddy, are you ready to go?” Cheyenne and Courtney came out of her room, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I turned, pushing down the lump in my throat, putting a smile on my face and masking the pain I was feeling in my chest. “Yeah, Peanut, let me go change real fast.”

  As I drove my peanut to the field, I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t hear from Brooke, then she didn’t want me like I thought. There was a reason why she hadn’t given me her number and a reason why she’d left without a goodbye. She’d said it wasn’t goodbye, but when going through a major health issue, I could imagine wanting to disappear from society. I didn’t want her to go through it alone, so I would check in with Avery and see how she does through the process. I would be there for her.

  I tossed my phone, wallet, and keys in the bat bag that carried the equipment I’d bought for Cheyenne. Before we left for vacation, we threw the ball around, and I also took her to the batting cages. We still needed to work on her hitting since that was her weakness. She had never played a
ny sports before and was jumping into fast pitch softball.

  “Girls, gather around.” Courtney’s dad, Phil motioned for us. He’d made me assistant coach and I’d loved it. I’d missed the game and couldn’t wait to teach the girls everything I knew.

  After introductions, practice was underway. There were some girls who couldn’t throw, catch or hit a ball, and after realizing she wasn’t the worse on the team, Cheyenne relaxed and started to play really well. She even tried to teach a teammate how to throw like a boy.

  I laughed as I watched her in her new element. Whenever I was teaching her how to throw, I would pick on her, telling her that she was throwing like a girl. She would stomp her foot and tell me that she was a girl.

  After the girls had warmed up by throwing the ball in pairs, we broke off into two groups. I hit soft infield balls to the girls who wanted to play infield, and Phil hit popups to the girls who wanted to play outfield. I didn’t think any of them really understood what each position did. I went around the horn, hitting a grounder to each girl and then telling them where to throw it.

  “I think I’m either going to choose third base … or shortstop. One of the two. Daddy, what do you think?” Cheyenne asked, buckling her seatbelt after practice. I thought she’d already decided on third, but women are always changing their minds.

  “Your mom played both. I think either one will be perfect.”

  “Yeah, but I can only pick one, right?”

  “No, not at all. It’s better to learn every position. Then you can be very valuable when you get to high school or even college.”

  “That’s true. Okay, let me think about it.”

  I laughed. She had all the time in the world. She wouldn’t be in high school for at least three more years, and with me and Avery coaching her, she was going to be the best girl in town.

  Once again, I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep. I tossed and turned, thinking about Brooke. I hadn’t heard from her, and I had half a mind to stalk her on Facebook—but I didn’t.

  I got up at six, made breakfast for Cheyenne, and then took her to school. Grabbing a coffee from Starbucks, I met Avery at the gym for a good workout before going to Halo. The bar was still standing and, believe it or not, Bethy had done a really good job managing. All the cash and credit cards were accounted for, a list of what we needed to order was on my desk, and everything was in tip-top shape.

  “Let’s promote Bethy to full-time manager,” I said to Avery as we both counted money.

  “I was thinking the same thing. I think we should get someone else as well.”

  “Why? I think one person will be enough.”

  “Not if we’re both spending our weekends in Boston.”

  “Brooke didn’t call me. I scared her off. So looks like it will just be you going to Boston on the weekends.”

  “Fuck—okay—look, you’ve been my best friend my whole life. I’ve seen you fuck around with a shitload of chicks. If you’re really serious about Brooke, I’ll give you her number. Nicole gave it to me because Brooke does want you to call her, but if you’re just going to hurt her, I’m not giving it to you. She’s in a really bad place right now and doesn’t need you fucking with her life more.”

  I leaned back in my black leather office chair, looking him straight in the eyes. If he had focused his attention on something other than Nicole’s pussy during the cruise, he would have realized that I was in love with Brooke. “You’re right, we have been friends our whole life and you know what? I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life—except Cheyenne, of course. You know what I mean. Anyway, I won’t hurt her, I promise. If anything, Jared is hurting her. I want to save her. I want to be there for her—to take care of her. Av, I need her. She needs me.”

  “Jesus, who’s the lovesick fool now?”

  “I know,” I said, hanging my head.

  “All right, here,” he said, handing me a piece of paper.

  “Thank you.” I glanced at my phone, checking the time and knew that she was at work, so instead of calling her, I sent her a text:

  Me: Hey, Superwoman! Avery told me about your tumor…I miss you, but I want to give you all the time you need. I’m here if you ever need ANYTHING! X–Easton.

  I didn’t go back to work after my appointment, and frankly, I didn’t care. Being told that you have a tumor was one of the worst things you could possibly hear from a doctor. Of course, there were other things, but none of us knew if my tumor was cancerous or not.

  After Dr. Sam had told me about the X-ray, she’d made me take a series of other images to determine how big the mass was and where it was located in my shoulder. I’d cried in Dr. Sam’s office until Nicole got off work at five. She followed me home and then dragged me to Yogurtland for dinner. Yogurtland wasn’t the healthiest choice since I piled on the candy, but Nicole was a firm believer that you should get ice cream after a doctor’s appointment. Or, in our case, frozen yogurt.

  I didn’t want to be in public with my tear-stained face, so we got our dinner to go and headed back to my apartment. As we sat in my apartment, drinking vodka and eating our yogurt, I told her to give Easton my number. I shouldn’t have left him the last morning of the cruise. I shouldn’t have stopped the kiss that I so desperately wanted.

  Jared was a lying bastard and an asshole for forgetting us at the airport. On the cruise, my heart was telling me to give in to the temptation of Easton, but my head was telling me no. I should have known to always listen to my heart.

  Fucking Jared.

  After getting a little tipsy from the vodka and lack of food, Jared finally came home. Nicole left me after she’d given him an earful about how much of a loser he was. During her rant, I left and went into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I didn’t want to talk to him. All I wanted to do was take a hot shower and go to bed. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, staring at myself and thinking of everything I could have done differently in my life. I didn’t know what caused tumors, but there was a reason I had one.

  I slowly peeled off my clothes, turning so I could see my shoulder blade as I stood in front of the mirror naked and imagined the tumor that was growing inside me. The radiologist said that the mass was the size of a little bouncy ball that kids play with.

  Growing up, Bailee and I would buy the miniature bouncy balls whenever we went grocery shopping. She would beg me for a quarter, and she would always get a ball so that we could bounce them off walls, tables, floors—anything—and count how many times it would bounce. We’d made a game of going to the top of the stairs and seeing who could get it to bounce on the most stairs as it went down.

  Now I had a fucking mass the size of one of those fucking bouncy balls in my fucking shoulder.

  Fuck.

  As I stared at my backside, Jared tried to talk to me through the door, but I was mad and didn’t want to talk to him. I actually didn’t want to talk to anyone but Easton.

  After a long shower and crying my eyes out as I sat on the floor of the tub, I crawled into my bed with my bedroom door still locked. Jared could go back to wherever he’d slept the night before. He tried pounding on the door more, but I didn’t respond. After a while, he stopped. I didn’t know if he slept on the couch like he said he did the night before or if he left.

  And I didn’t care.

  I fell asleep clenching my phone, waiting for Easton to call.

  He didn’t.

  When I woke the next morning, I dressed for work, not putting any makeup on or drinking my usual morning cup of coffee. My mind was elsewhere, and I didn’t care if I got fired. No amount of coffee could give me enough energy to give a shit about anything.

  I arrived early to work and slipped in without anyone seeing me. Shutting my office door and locking it, I spent the next two hours staring out the window at nothing until my phone buzzed.

  Easton: Hey, Superwoman! Avery told me about your tumor…I miss you, but I want to give you all the time you need. I’m here if you ever need A
NYTHING! X–Easton.

  I stared at it for a few minutes. He texted me.

  He missed me. I missed him, too.

  I wanted to go home to Easton and cuddle with him until my tumor magically disappeared. But that wasn’t reality. He had his own life in New York with Cheyenne. He couldn’t leave her and take care of me. He had responsibilities, and I had nothing but a stupid tumor and a lying boyfriend.

  Me: Thanks for the kiss. I really needed it, and I miss you, too. I’m sorry for the way I acted the last night…and the next morning.

  A few seconds later, he texted back:

  Easton: I’ll always want to kiss you.

  Me: You say that to all the girls, huh?

  Easton: Actually no…you’re the only one. You’re MY Superwoman.

  Me: I haven’t broken up with Jared.

  Easton: I understand. You got some big news yesterday. Is he at least taking care of you?

  Me: No…I haven’t told him yet.

  Easton: Can I call you?

  Me: I’m at work.

  Easton: Can I call you tonight?

  Me: Yes, I’d like that.

  Easton’s text put a smile on my face. He made my worries disappear for a short time; he was my distraction. Knowing that he missed me made me want to fight the tumor—made me want to live.

  I tried to focus on doing some work now that I had something to look forward to. But before I could get engrossed in all my work emails that I had missed from being on vacation and going to the doctor the day before, Nicole called.

  “Hey, it’s me. How are you holding up?”

  “Better. Easton just texted me.”

  “I see how it is. Hot men always win over yogurt. Sorry I didn’t cheer you up more last night.”

  “Stop being a bitch.” I laughed slightly.

  “Yay! That made you laugh.”

  “Get to the point,” I said, twirling the cord of my office phone. “I’m at work, and you know Ian doesn’t like us to take personal calls.”

  She sighed. “Dr. Sam talked to the radiologist and a surgeon. They want you to have a CT.”