Guts & Glory: Hunter (In the Shadows Security Book 3)

by Jeanne St. James

  And, most importantly, a mother who loved him without letting the bitterness of who his father was affect that love.

  Leo was Frankie’s and no one else’s.

  He would grow up into a well-adjusted man whether Frankie found a father-figure for him or not. Plenty of mothers raised their kids single-handedly. Plenty of fathers, too. It wasn’t impossible. It just took a little more effort, which Frankie was willing to give.

  Hunter continued to watch Leo being a goof, screaming and laughing, entertaining himself.

  Unexpectedly, it hit him how he never thought about having this. It never crossed his mind he could have it.

  He had held Diesel’s daughters, both Indigo and Violet, on more than one occasion, usually when D wasn’t around and Jewel shoved one of them in his direction because she needed extra hands.

  While he had accepted the girls without complaint and felt a protectiveness for them, that was all he felt. Nothing tugged at him, pushing him toward ever wanting a family.

  He was fine on his own. He was his own man, did his own thing. The only people he needed to answer to was Diesel and his team. And even that wasn’t like having a wife and kid because, for the most part, he could tell them to fuck off or find a valid excuse to go do something else when the need arose.

  He wouldn’t be able to do that with a wife and kid. Or kids, plural. Fuck no, he’d be stuck dealing with them whether he wanted to or not. That was the responsibility of being a father and husband.

  The band that would be slid onto his left ring finger could be like a noose, choking him until he panicked.

  What kind of father and husband would he be when he would always be on the verge of spilling into the darkness?

  A shitty one.

  Hunter had a shitty father and he didn’t want to inherit that title.

  So, it was best to just remain the way he was. Free.

  If he needed pussy, he could find pussy. That had never been a problem. If he ever had the urge to hold a kid, there were plenty to choose from in the DAMC family. Plenty to choose from. He swore the MC’s church was turning into a fucking daycare. The brothers liked to fuck and knock up their ol’ ladies, apparently.

  Would Frankie and Leo fit right in? Fuck yeah. But not because of Hunter.

  If Slade wanted to step up as a father-figure to his nephew, that was on him. But that would mean dragging Frankie’s stubborn ass out of Manning Grove and setting her up in Shadow Valley.

  Which could be beneficial to Hunter if Frankie wanted to keep it casual.

  But her admitting she was falling in love with him was not keeping it casual. And he understood why she’d shut him out after that.

  In truth, he was sort of relieved she had, because he was feeling shit about her he shouldn’t.

  He didn’t blame her for protecting herself. He needed to do the same.

  But with D insisting he come back to the Valley today, they were at a point where decisions had to be made. He wasn’t comfortable with leaving Frankie and Leo up in the Grove with only local cops for protection.

  Yeah, it had been a month since the press release and Max Bryson putting Frankie’s name out to the world hoping the fucker would show himself. He hadn’t. And D was right, Hunter couldn’t wait forever.

  With any luck, Taz was no longer breathing or couldn’t give a fuck about Frankie or the fact she’d given birth to his son. It wasn’t like she was going to ask for child support from the fucker. She’d continue to struggle on her own with her mom helping out whenever she could.

  He’d hang with Leo until Frankie came home from her shift at the restaurant, sit her down and hope she’d listen to reason.

  He wasn’t holding out on that hope, though. She was stubborn like a mule and independent as fuck. Something that both turned him on and frustrated him at the same time.

  Maybe he’d wait until she put Leo to bed since he went to bed about an hour after she got home and then take her outside just in case they ended up raising their voices. Leo didn’t need to hear them arguing. Especially when it came to his safety. He might be only three, but he understood more than to be expected.

  The kid was a sponge. And luckily smart as a whip, something he probably inherited from Frankie, thank fuck, and not his fuckstick DNA donor.

  So, yeah, it was best that he and Frankie had their conversation out of the range of little ears.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Frankie had her back pressed to the hallway wall and her eyes closed as she listened to Hunter’s deep timbre voice reading Leo his nightly bedtime story.

  But she had a hard time making out the actual words over the blood rushing into her ears. Which it had been doing since she’d walked in the door and Hunter grumbled, “We gotta talk.”

  Hunter had fed Leo leftover veggie lasagna before she arrived home and she had grabbed a few bites in the kitchen at work. So, they hadn’t even sat down to dinner together.

  Though, even the nights they had, she’d kept herself distant from him. She had done her best to put up a wall, to lock away any feelings that had developed over the man who had taken over the care of her three-year-old like Leo was his own.

  While she worried about Leo getting too attached to Hunter, she also was relieved Hunter was looking out for her son. If Taz decided to show up at her house, as least Hunter would protect him.

  A rush of air had her opening her eyes as Hunter quickly strode out of Leo’s room, like he normally did after reading to him, in his haste to get somewhere with more space. “Outside,” he ordered without slowing down.

  He turned the corner and she heard him jogging down the steps. She drew air into her lungs, not only to catch his familiar scent, but to bolster herself for their “talk.”

  She followed more slowly down the steps and heard the back door open but not close, so she headed in that direction.

  He was waiting on the rear porch, his back to her when she stepped through the kitchen door and shut it behind her.

  She stood inches from him, staring at his broad back, his black T-shirt pulled tightly over his shoulders but loose at the small of his back where she knew he kept his gun holstered.

  She raised her hand to touch him, to feel his solidness and warmth, but let her fingers curl into her palm and dropped her hand before making contact.

  Touching him wouldn’t help either of them.

  He’d been there a month and she expected him to move on at any time. She figured tonight was that time. She had mentally prepared herself for it and tried to create a plan on dealing with Leo once Hunter stepped back out of his life.

  She had a feeling there would be a lot of tears. And not just Leo’s. But she would keep her shit together while around her son and only let herself miss the man who stood in front of her when she was alone in bed at night.

  “Frankie,” he said softly.

  She waited for him to turn around and face her, but he remained looking out over her backyard. It was getting darker earlier now that it was late summer, but there was still enough light to see everything clearly. Including the tension in those broad shoulders.

  Again, she was tempted to touch him, but that would just make things messier than they already were.

  “I gotta roll out of here tonight,” he said, still not looking at her. “I’ve been on this job too long. Time to move on to the next one.”

  This news shouldn’t be surprising, but even so, it still was. “Are you giving up on finding Taz?”

  That was when he turned, his face stony, his eyes even harder. “No. I’ll do what I can to find him. It just won’t be my main focus. Gave a heads up to the PD that I’m heading out and they need to keep vigil. But if he hasn’t shown up by now, he most likely won’t.”

  “Most likely,” she repeated in a murmur.

  “Can’t stay here forever.” Those words weren’t harsh and she might have even detected a little bit of regret.

  “That would be too much like putting down roots,” Frankie said, trying not t
o sound bitter.

  Hunter didn’t answer, instead let his gaze sweep over her face, which she tried to keep neutral.

  Damn it, she didn’t want him to go.

  In the past three weeks, she had convinced herself she couldn’t wait for it all to be over. In reality, that was far from the truth. She wanted to be done with Taz, but not the man standing on her back porch who had ingrained himself into their life without meaning to.

  He had only been doing his job.

  His job was over.

  Time for him to go.

  “Frankie,” Hunter whispered.

  She realized she’d been staring at his chest. At the hint of dog tags hidden under his shirt. He never wore them out when he was dressed, they were always tucked away. She wondered why.

  She lifted her gaze and met his. She swore he had a few more grays at his temples since showing up in front of her house over a month ago. Maybe she was only imagining it.

  “I want you two to come with me.” Her mouth opened and her eyes widened, until he continued, “We can get you and Leo set up somewhere temporarily. Get you out of this town and somewhere you could be watched over.”

  She snapped her mouth shut.

  “I’m not comfortable with you remaining here until we have confirmation that Taz is no longer breathing.”

  “I have a job here. A house. My mom’s here. Should that man have me running scared?”

  “Yeah, loquilla, he should.”

  Loquilla. “Well, I’m not going to let him. It’s been months since he was released from jail. I’m sure he has no interest in me or Leo, otherwise he would’ve been here by now.” She sure hoped that was true. But Taz was unpredictable. She had learned that the hard way.

  “We don’t know that.”

  “You’re right. We don’t know if he’ll ever show up. But me relocating to,” she waved her hand around, “Shadow Valley, even temporarily, doesn’t work for me. I can’t lose my job, Hunter. And to try to find another one will be near impossible up here.”

  “Then move to the Valley permanently.”

  “What?” She raised her hand to stop his next words. “I’m not uprooting my family because you say so.”

  A muscle ticked in Hunter’s cheek right above the line of his beard. “Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”

  She planted her hands on her hips and stared up at him with her head tilted to the side. “Why do you?”

  His chest rose and fell slowly, and his shoulders dropped at least an inch. He dropped his chin and his voice. “Baby.”

  And, fuck, if that didn’t make her bare toes curl against the concrete. Just his fucking voice made her nipples tingle and her pussy clench.

  She was so weak!

  Nope, nope, nope. Don’t let him past that barrier, Frankie.

  Maybe she could... Maybe they could... Just one more time before he left. One for the road.

  It has been three weeks and every damn night she forced herself to remain in her bed and not join him on the couch or invite him back upstairs.

  She fought the good fight.

  It was not the hardest thing she ever did in her life, but it was close.

  However, she made it through. She hadn’t succumbed to her desires and he was finally leaving. It needed to be a clean break. Having sex one more time would make it the opposite.

  As soon as he left, she and Leo could begin healing the hole he would leave behind in their hearts.

  Leo would go back to daycare; Frankie would go back to just... existing. Providing for her son. Getting through each day as they came.

  Fuck. She needed to feel his skin against hers one more time.

  Just once. And then she could move on.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her fists to her outer thighs.

  Who the hell was she kidding?

  He moved closer, his heat now touching her, but she refused to open her eyes. Not yet.

  Maybe he had his bag in the rental already and could just turn and walk away.

  No goodbyes.

  No watching him leave.

  Not slow and painful, but quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

  “Baby.”

  She shook her head. “Just go.” She cursed the tremor in her voice. It revealed way too much. Hunter was sharp, he’d catch it.

  “We need to set some rules.”

  Her eyes popped open. “What?”

  “Rules. There need to be some rules set. I can’t leave without knowing you’ll follow them.”

  She sighed. “What are these rules?” She’d have to hear them to determine whether she’d follow them.

  “Call me every night, loquilla.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so. Don’t need another reason than that. Every night.”

  Because I said so.

  “If I don’t answer because I’m tied up or on a job, leave a message and your phone on. I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

  “Can I just text you?” She didn’t know if she could bear to hear his voice every night.

  “No. Anybody could take your phone and text. I want to hear your voice. That’ll assure me you’re okay.”

  Frankie pursed her lips and studied him. Maybe she and Leo wouldn’t be the only ones feeling a loss. “That it?”

  “No. Keep your phone on you at all times. Something happens, you hear something suspicious, you see someone suspicious, you lock yourself somewhere safe then call 911 first. Me second. Safety, 911, then me. In that order. You got me?”

  Her heart began to thump furiously. He was not taking leaving lightly. She nodded.

  “Bryson will have his officers do drive-bys when he can. That’s his decision when those stop, not yours. You let the officers do their job. You do not interfere.”

  He reached out and cupped her jaw. He hadn’t touched her in weeks. Not even an accidental brush and her worry at his rules quickly turned to something else.

  He tipped her face to his and said, “Someone is sitting outside of your house, you follow that second rule. You secure yourself and Leo upstairs in a bedroom and you call. Frankie, you do not approach with your bat and bash the shit outta someone’s vehicle. You get law enforcement here to take care of it. Think before you act, Frankie. Not only your life, but Leo’s, could depend on it.”

  Think before you act, Frankie.

  “Okay,” she agreed softly.

  He lifted one brow, his eyes no longer hard, the lines at the corners now soft. “Take what I’m saying seriously.”

  “I will.”

  “Promise?”

  She nodded.

  His fingers slid into her hair, his palm warm against her skin. “Your son is your everything.”

  You could be, too.

  Twice in her life, she fell for the wrong man. The first time with Taz. Now she fell for a man who couldn’t lay down roots. Who couldn’t handle being in a relationship without feeling trapped.

  Her heart hurt for herself, but hurt for him, too. He’d miss out on something that could be great and fulfilling.

  She herself would miss out on that, too, because she stupidly fell in love with a man who couldn’t feel the same. He never hid that fact. It wasn’t his fault. He had said if he could, he would.

  He couldn’t.

  So, he was leaving to get on with the life he could bear living.

  And while she wished it could be different, she needed to bear living without him.

  She promised to call him every night, but she wasn’t sure if she could.

  “Frankie.”

  She realized she’d been staring at his throat, so she tipped her eyes back to his. “Yes?”

  “I want to kiss you goodbye. Will you let me?”

  “No,” she murmured, wrapping her hand around the back of his head and tugging it lower. Their lips brushed as she said, “I’m going to kiss you goodbye, instead.” She didn’t miss his lips slightly curling at the ends before she crushed her mouth to his and he let her take c
ontrol of the kiss, not fighting it, not encouraging it. Just letting her do what she needed.

  She raked her nails down his back over the cotton of his T-shirt, the hand at the back of his head pressing him closer. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her tighter against him until she had no doubt how much he wanted her.

  He groaned as she continued the sensual onslaught of his mouth, while she tugged his shirt out of his pants and burrowed her hand inside, this time raking her nails up his spine, so he could feel it against his skin. His fingers curled in her hair, once again making her feel that sting against her scalp that made certain parts of her quiver with need.

  Fuck, she needed him.

  She needed him.

  If she could only have him one last time, she’d take it. She shouldn’t, but she would. Any regrets she’d deal with later. She could throw them on top of the rest of the emotional heap she knew was building.

  But for now, she had him. He wasn’t pushing her away, thinking it was a bad idea. He was letting her run with it.

  His cock was hard against her belly. His muscles flexed under her nails as she scraped them higher. He twisted his head to break their kiss but kept their lips close. His warm breath swept over her swollen lips as he said, “Wallet. Back pocket.”

  She dropped the hand which had taken purchase of his back, down to his pocket and pulled out his wallet. “Here?” she asked, her voice thick, dripping with want. She let her gaze shift through the backyard. Had it gotten dark enough? Could her neighbors see them? Did she even care?

  Not if this was her last chance to get a piece of the man she wanted whole. A piece was better than nothing. And soon that’s what she’d have.

  Emptiness.

  He must not have cared, either, his gruff voice demanded, “Hands to the wall, Frankie,” and released her waist, turning her to face the side of the house next to the kitchen door.

  He grabbed her wrists and bumped her forward with his chest, then planted her palms onto the siding stretched above her head and said in her ear, “Stay there. Don’t move.”

  She shuddered and a rush of wetness soaked her panties under the knee-length black skirt she wore for work.

  His hands came around her and he began to unbutton the white blouse she wore that emphasized her cleavage for maximum tips. When just her bra was exposed, he slipped his fingers into both cups and, capturing her nipples, twisted them hard. She dropped her head forward, her forehead pressing into the wood siding as she bit back her groan. He plucked at both hard tips, tweaked them again, then pulled his hands from her bra.