As Time Goes By

by Lori Wick

  “I’m ready now,” Marcail said as she took a seat by the desk.

  “Ready for what?”

  “To hear about the camping trips.”

  Bobbie smiled. She had completely forgotten that they had been talking about it on Sunday when Kaitlin told Marcail she had to get into the wagon. Bobbie had promised her they would talk the next time they saw each other.

  Bobbie glanced down at the paperwork on her desk and then at the clock. If she kept it short she could still get her work done. Bobbie was just finishing her explanation when Jeff came in and took the other desk chair.

  “So when can I go with you?”

  “Well, we’re not going again until after Cleve’s visit, but if Kaitlin and Rigg say you can come, then it’s fine with me.”

  “What about me?”

  Bobbie blinked at Jeff in surprise. “Are you serious?”

  “Sure. I’ve been waiting for you to invite me all spring, but since Marc just came out and asked, I figured I’d do the same.”

  Bobbie looked from one to the other. Why had she never thought to invite them?

  “Of course you can come,” she said simply. “I’ll discuss it with my dad and let you know what to bring.”

  Jeff and Marcail grinned at each other, and Bobbie was amazed to see how sincere they were. She wondered what it was that they both found so intriguing about her going camping with her family.

  What Bobbie was unaware of was the way her eyes lit up when she spoke of waking up in a still forest, or going to sleep with a million stars shining overhead. She made cooking over the fire and hiking through the woods sound magical, easily capturing the attention of anyone listening.

  The next day their plans were made. Marcail gained permission from her sister and Jeff asked his mother to fill in for the weekend. Bobbie was glad for something to distract her thoughts until Cleve arrived in six days. Before she knew it, Friday was upon her and the stage from Jenner would be in around suppertime.

  Bobbie had the next day off, but she might as well have had Friday off, since she accomplished little. Jeff noticed her restlessness but refrained from commenting.

  Around 5:30 Bobbie stood at the shipping office window watching the passengers disembark in front of the stage office. Her anxiety was overwhelming as she waited for that familiar face to appear. Finally Bobbie watched Cleve jump down from the stage, the last person off.

  Taking a deep breath, she wiped her damp palms together and opened the shipping office door, completely unaware of the way Jeff and Gilbert moved to watch her from the window she had just vacated.

  twenty-nine

  Cleve spotted Bobbie the moment she emerged from the office, and he watched her approach. He searched her face, although for what he wasn’t sure, and tried to smile as she came to stand before him.

  At once he knew that staying away had been a mistake. He had been sure that if they were apart Bobbie would miss him. Not just miss him, but long for his companionship, as he had longed for hers. Her face told him that hadn’t happened.

  But he had a week in Santa Rosa, and he told himself that maybe it would be enough time to convince Bobbie Bradford that she needed to come back to Jenner.

  “Hello, stranger,” Cleve greeted her without restraint. It was so easy to talk to Bobbie.

  “Hi, Cleve, how was the trip?”

  “Long and dusty.”

  “I’m sure it was,” Bobbie said with a smile. Cleve was so honest.

  He didn’t touch her. Even though Bobbie knew he wouldn’t, she was somehow disappointed.

  “Are you off work now?”

  “Yes. Would you like to come in and meet my boss?”

  “Sure. Do you work tomorrow?”

  “No, I’m off until Monday.”

  “Good.” Cleve looked very pleased and Bobbie wondered if maybe he cared for her more than she thought. At one time the thought would have pleased her, but now. . . .

  “He didn’t even hug her.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  Gilbert turned slightly in the wagon seat to stare at Jeff, who held the reins loosely in his hands and continued to mumble to himself.

  “What Bobbie does with Cleve is none of our business, Jeff.”

  “I know that.” Jeff answered with a long sigh and then glanced at Gilbert. “But it bothered you too, didn’t it?”

  Gilbert didn’t answer, but then he didn’t have to; Jeff could read his thoughts. Jeff told himself again that it was none of their business, but his feelings for Bobbie made him wonder anew how Cleve could have kept from hugging her, even though they were in public.

  “They’re coming to dinner after church Sunday.”

  “Yeah,” Jeff commented quietly.

  “You were all prepared to hate him, weren’t you?”

  Jeff gave a small smile. “I guess I was.”

  “And it wasn’t that simple,” Gil remarked, and once again the two fell silent for the remainder of the ride, both contemplating the scene when Bobbie brought Cleve in to be introduced.

  “Mr. Taylor, this is Cleveland Ramsey. Cleve, this is my boss, Bill Taylor.” The men shook hands and then Bobbie introduced Jeff and Gilbert.

  Cleve conversed easily with the men, his manner quietly charming. He was knowledgeable in the shipping field because of his close contact with Jasper and Joanne, and the Taylors were impressed.

  Not a big man, Cleve was a few inches taller than Bobbie, with well-built, broad shoulders and a firm handshake. He was a perfect gentleman with Bobbie, and that was a plus for a man who had points against him before the game even began.

  All in all, it was a good first meeting. Jeff did some serious praying as he settled the horse and wagon in the barn for the night. He was going to be seeing Cleve with Bobbie off and on for the next week, and he might very well have to say goodbye to his friend because of Cleve.

  ‘Please, Lord,’ Jeff prayed, ‘help me to trust You for Bobbie’s future. And help her to make the right decision.’

  “What are you staring at, Cleve?” Bobbie asked softly from her place on the front porch.

  “You,” he answered simply, and she felt her face warm.

  Supper was over and the two of them were sitting on the front porch. It was a warm summer night and the song of crickets could be heard all around them. Their silence was a comfortable one, and Cleve had enjoyed just looking at the woman across from him before she became aware of his scrutiny.

  “Did you want to ask me something?” Bobbie questioned him uncertainly when he continued to watch her in silence.

  “I think I’ve already done the asking, Robbie.”

  Bobbie’s heart began to pound. She had asked the Lord to help her bring this up at the beginning of his visit, but really hadn’t had a clue as to how to go about it. Now Cleve had given her a starting place, and she wasn’t at all sure if she was ready.

  “Yes, you have asked, Cleve,” Bobbie said softly, “and I felt it was important to answer you in person.”

  “I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going to say.”

  Bobbie was quiet for a moment then. How did a woman tell a man that she was afraid she would someday regret marrying him? Bobbie was searching for the right words when Cleve spoke again.

  “It’s because I don’t pray that much or read my Bible, isn’t it?”

  Bobbie thanked God for the opening. “I think,” she answered carefully, “that people need to enter marriage with their eyes open. I mean, if there’s something that makes a person uncomfortable, then he or she needs to understand that before the vows are spoken and not plan on changing that person once the wedding is over. Am I making any sense?”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ve always been very honest with each other, Cleve, and I don’t want that to change now. I’m not comfortable with the fact that you talk about love as though it’s not important. I mean, getting married with the assumption that someday we’ll love each other is not enough for me. But that’s
the way you believe, and I wouldn’t try to change that.

  “But the reason I can’t say yes to you, Cleve, is much more serious. It’s the exact reason you just mentioned.” Bobbie’s voice grew very tender and tears stung the back of her eyes. “God doesn’t seem important enough to you, Cleve, and I just can’t live with that. I know I didn’t explain myself very well in the letter, but I had a reason. If you change spiritually, Cleve, it needs to be because of God, and not because you want to marry me.”

  Bobbie held her breath. The words were all spoken kindly and without judgment, but they were words that Bobbie was sure would make him angry. She was wrong.

  “Thanks for telling me, Robbie.”

  Bobbie didn’t know what to say. In fact, all she wanted to do was burst into tears. She had just hurt a man she cared for and also turned down the only proposal she was sure she would ever get.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I should be asking you that, Cleve.” Tears streamed down her face as she answered. “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I know you didn’t, and the truth is, I haven’t been completely honest with you.” Bobbie looked surprised and he continued. “You see, I deliberately stayed away from Santa Rosa to see if you’d come back because you missed me. In fact, there wasn’t a day that the stage came in that I wasn’t there to meet it, always hoping you’d be on board.” Cleve’s voice was quiet, almost resigned.

  Bobbie cried in earnest then. She took off her glasses and buried her face in her hands. Cleve watched helplessly.

  “Robbie, please don’t do this.”

  Bobbie tried to contain herself so she could talk with him, but the tears kept coming.

  “I was really hoping you’d let me stay. I haven’t had a vacation for a long time and I won’t push you or anything—”

  “What?” His words surprised Bobbie out of her tears.

  “Well,” Cleve continued, “it’s just that maybe your parents would rather I didn’t stay here, since we’re not going to be—”

  “You mean you’ll stay all week, you’ll really stay like you originally planned?”

  “I’d like to.”

  “Oh Cleve, I was so hoping you would. But I was sure that as soon as we talked you’d want to leave. In fact I was afraid you’d even move to the hotel tonight and leave on the morning stage.”

  “I’d like to stay, and,” he held up his hand as though making a solemn vow, “I promise we’ll be friends. No hinting about your coming to Jenner.”

  “Oh Cleve,” Bobbie said again, wanting to tell him she thought he was wonderful, but no words would come.

  Bobbie had put her glasses back on and they smiled at each other in understanding. Cleve confessed to being very tired a little while later, and then took himself off to Troy’s room, where he would sleep in the extra bed. Bobbie stayed downstairs for awhile to talk with her parents.

  “He’s awfully nice, Bobbie,” her mother commented.

  “Yes, he is,” she said with soft conviction. “And he’ll make some girl a good husband.”

  “But not you,” her father interjected.

  “No, not me.”

  The three were silent for a minute and Bobbie was glad that Troy was out with Carla.

  “Are you all right?” Maryanne asked her daughter.

  “I’ve been better. You don’t mind if Cleve stays, do you? I mean, even though we’re just friends?”

  “You know better than to even ask, Bobbie.” Her father’s gentle voice was her undoing.

  “I’m going to bed now.” Bobbie stood and more tears fell. She was almost out of the room when Jake came up behind her.

  “Oh Dad,” was all Bobbie could say as she was enfolded in her father’s embrace.

  “You did the right thing, didn’t you, Bobbie?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you have peace.”

  “Yes, but I hurt.”

  “I know you do. God knows too.”

  Bobbie let herself cry against her father’s shirt. When she pulled away he offered her his handkerchief. Bobbie shook her head and reached into her skirt pocket. Her own was so damp from her cry on the porch that she giggled.

  Jake recognized the signs of exhaustion and turned her toward the stairs.

  “Good night, honey.”

  “Good night, Dad.”

  Jake turned back to the living room, reaching as he walked to put his handkerchief into his pocket. His wife’s face stayed the movement. He joined her on the couch, handed her the cloth in his hand, and pulled her against his chest.

  He didn’t ask Maryanne why she was crying, since he was sure she wouldn’t be able to answer. But he suspected that it might have something to do with the light they saw in Troy’s eyes in the last weeks and whether or not Bobbie’s eyes would ever have that gleam.

  thirty

  Well-rested and ready to take Santa Rosa by storm the next morning, Cleve and Bobbie borrowed one of the Taylors’ wagons. Bobbie took Cleve over every square inch of her hometown. Cleve was truly impressed.

  “No wonder you missed living here—it’s a great city.”

  “I think so,” Bobbie said with a smile.

  “I’m going to miss that smile, Robbie.”

  “And I’m going to miss being called Robbie.”

  They looked at each other for a moment and Bobbie silently praised God with a sense of wonder in her heart. It was miraculous that they could be friends after they had talked of marriage.

  Their last stop on the way home was the shipping office so they could collect Bobbie’s pay for the week. Bill, Gilbert, and Cleve became involved in a discussion as soon as they walked in the door, and Jeff, offering a ridiculous excuse, nearly dragged Bobbie to the back room.

  “How’s it going?” He whispered close to her ear as soon as they were at the back of the room.

  “How is what going?”

  “You know, with Cleve.”

  “It’s fine,” Bobbie answered, a bit puzzled. “We’ve had a lovely day.”

  “So it’s going all right between you two?”

  “Yes.”

  “When do you leave for Jenner?”

  In the shadowy room Bobbie didn’t catch the pained look on Jeff’s face, but his voice told her something was wrong. She knew it was time to explain.

  “Jeff, I’m not going to Jenner.”

  “You’re not?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  Bobbie brought her hands up to frame Jeff’s face. He was bent over her and Bobbie spoke while holding his face very close to her own, thinking as she did that he was such a dear friend.

  “Jeffrey, Cleve and I are not going to be married. But we are still friends, and he’s going to stay the week because this is a break from work for him.”

  Even after Bobbie dropped her hands it took a moment for Jeff to respond. “How long have you known you weren’t going to marry Cleve?”

  “For a while now.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Jeff,” Bobbie’s voice was kind but very logical, “if you asked a girl to marry you, wouldn’t you appreciate her giving you an answer before she talked to anyone else?”

  “Yeah, I guess I would.”

  Bobbie looked away from him then, and Jeff realized how insensitive he had been in the last few minutes.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” Bobbie’s voice was nearly inaudible.

  Jeff was not convinced. His hand came up to gently grasp Bobbie’s jaw. He held her lightly and looked into her eyes. He saw pain there and something he couldn’t quite interpret. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before freeing her.

  As Jeff straightened he saw that Gilbert was rushing toward them. He appeared to be very upset.

  “Honestly, Jeff, Bobbie’s fiancé is in the next room and you’re in here kissing her!”

  “It’s all right, Gilbert—” Bobbie began.

  “How can you say that, Bobbie?”

&
nbsp; “Oh Gilbert,” she chuckled softly, “you’re so sweet. Please explain to him, Jeff. I’ve got to be going.”

  The men watched her leave, and then Jeff explained to his brother, who promptly apologized for jumping to conclusions. They talked for a few minutes longer, and Gilbert admitted that he was relieved over Bobbie’s decision. Jeff agreed, but kept some of his thoughts to himself. Mainly his worry over the expression he had seen in Bobbie’s eyes—the one he couldn’t quite define.

  “You better keep an eye on him, Mom. He’ll make it so spicy that we’ll all have tears in our eyes.”

  “Don’t listen to her, Mrs. Bradford,” Cleve broke in. “You’ll love this chili.”

  Maryanne smiled to herself. She had never met a man who loved to cook. Jake and Troy were both quite capable in the kitchen, but they always preferred to have her or Bobbie do the work.

  “Okay, Robbie, I’m ready for that pot.”

  Bobbie and Cleve worked well together in the kitchen, and Maryanne felt a twinge of regret that he wouldn’t be a permanent part of the family. She quickly reminded herself that her daughter was a grown woman who had prayed long and hard about this man. She was not about to be an interfering mother!

  The meal was wonderful. Cleve met Carla, who was over for the evening, and after the dishes were washed and put away, the four young people played a game.

  When Troy walked Carla home, Cleve and Bobbie headed outside to sit under the tree in the front yard. It was another warm night, and the air was fresh and inviting.

  “I’ve been thinking all day about what you said last night.”

  “What was that exactly?”

  “That God doesn’t seem that important to me.”

  “Cleve—”

  “No, Robbie, don’t say anything. I needed to hear that.” He was silent for a moment, and then went on in a contemplative voice.

  “You seem to have something that I don’t. God seems to be very special to you, and I can’t help but wonder why I don’t feel the same way. In fact, I wonder if I’m even saved.”

  Bobbie opened her mouth to deny Cleve’s words, but shut it again. She had no business telling Cleve that she was sure he was saved; that was between him and God.