As Time Goes By

by Lori Wick

  There was no choice about her job—she would have to quit, of course. Fear of running into Jeff kept her from going to see Mr. Taylor that very afternoon. Bobbie tried to push away the pain that returned again and again on her walk.

  Maryanne had not lied to Jeff. Before going on a long walk to think and pray, Bobbie had gone to see her sister for a brief visit. In no less pain when she finally returned home, Bobbie had at least told God all she felt, and she knew what must be done.

  Her parents had questioned her about being gone so long, but in fear of starting tears that would never stop, Bobbie had not answered. Neither Jake nor Maryanne had pushed the point, but they watched with concern as Bobbie played with her supper and ate no breakfast the following morning.

  “Bobbie,” Maryanne stopped her daughter as she was headed out the door for work. “If you’re not feeling well, you can stay home.”

  “I know, Mom, and I know you’re wondering what’s going on, but I just can’t talk about it right now. I hope when I get home tonight I’ll be able to explain everything.”

  Maryanne, feeling she had no choice but to accept her grown daughter’s answer, was very concerned. “I’ll be praying for you, Bobbie.”

  Those words were nearly her undoing. How easy it would be to run to the protective arms of her parents! And then Bobbie stopped short. She was done running a long time ago. She squared her shoulders with renewed purpose.

  “Thanks, Mom, I appreciate that.” Kissing her mother’s cheek, Bobbie headed toward the door and called over her shoulder, “I’ll see you tonight.”

  thirty-nine

  “You sure know how to avoid a man.”

  Bobbie started at the sound of Jeff’s voice and felt her face flush. Overcome with regret, she didn’t say anything for a few moments. A wonderful friendship had been ruined. They would never be comfortable with each other again, and it was all her fault.

  That Jeff was extremely glad to see her was totally lost on Bobbie. Drowning in her own hurt, she failed to notice how Jeff’s eyes sparkled with tenderness and warmth.

  “Bobbie—”

  “Please, Jeff, just let me say how—”

  “Hello, Jeff; hello, Bobbie.” Bobbie was interrupted by May’s sudden entrance to the shipping office. She held Marcail’s hand, and Bobbie, without delay, forgot her own problems at the sight of the white-faced little girl.

  “It seems that Kaitlin chose today to have her baby, and I told Marcail it would be a good idea if she came here for a few hours.”

  “That’s a great idea. Come over and have a chair, Marc.” The words were spoken by Jeff, and with his hand on the little girl’s shoulder, she was escorted up to Bobbie’s desk.

  May left quietly and a few minutes later Bill entered the office. Bobbie was speaking with Marcail and didn’t hear the exchange between father and son, but when Bill went into his office Jeff suggested that Bobbie and Marcail take a ride with him.

  Once in the wagon, Jeff and Bobbie’s eyes met over the top of Marcail’s head and it was with mutual, unspoken understanding that they decided to put their discussion off and concentrate on their young charge.

  Marcail had said little, and as Jeff headed the wagon in the direction of the lagoon, Bobbie asked God to give her the words to comfort and help Marcail.

  Kaitlin spat a sentence at Rigg in furious Hawaiian. It was the second time she had said it to him, and for the first time he was glad he couldn’t speak the language.

  “I can’t push anymore, Rigg, I just can’t do it,” Kate panted after the last hard contraction.

  Rigg mopped her brow and kissed her cheek. No one had ever told him it would be like this. No one had ever mentioned that his wife would be in agony for hours and he would be powerless to help.

  Rigg had not previously known the meaning of the word “frustration” until Doctor Grade had come, checked on Kaitlin, and left, telling them it would probably be some hours yet. He had told them where he could be found and his manner had been kind, but Rigg, unsatisfied, had followed him to the door.

  “Isn’t there anything you can do for her?”

  “I’m afraid not, Rigg. First babies take time.”

  Rigg found out in a hurry that those words had been an understatement. It felt to him as though Kate had been in labor for days, and he wasn’t even the one in pain.

  “Oh no,” Kate gasped as another contraction began. Rigg looked at his mother on the other side of the bed to see if she was as worried as he was, but the smile she gave him was one of serene acceptance.

  Illumination flooded Rigg’s heart as he realized that his mother had gone through this exact process to have him. Kate needed him right now, so there was no time for talk, but when this was all over, and Rigg prayed it would be soon, he told himself he was going to thank Mabel Riggs Taylor for giving him life

  “You were really on a date here?” Marcail asked in childish wonder. “What did you do?”

  “Well,” Bobbie explained, “the other kids were here as well, and we had a picnic lunch under the trees. Then we sat around and talked. The whole church came later to go boating.”

  “Can we go boating?”

  “Not today, but I think we might be able to arrange something later on,” Jeff had answered from the place where he was sitting with his back against a tree. He was amazed at the relaxed way Bobbie talked about the day at the lagoon, without giving any hint of the disastrous events that followed.

  He was also amazed how strong his feelings were for her. They were both doing a good job of pretending there was nothing they needed to discuss. Jeff was sure Marcail didn’t suspect a thing. She was growing visibly more relaxed by the second, and that fact was directly related to Bobbie’s sensitive care of her.

  “I think it might be getting close to lunch. Shall we go back to my house to eat?”

  “I don’t know, Bobbie. Maybe I should go and check on Katie.”

  “I think it would be best if we didn’t go over there right now.”

  “Why, Bobbie? Why did May take me away? What are they doing to Katie that they don’t want me to know?”

  Bobbie’s arms went around the little girl. “They’re not doing anything to her Marcail, but it’s hard work having a baby, and it’s not the best idea to have a lot of people around.”

  “But there were a lot of people around, even Dr. Grade.”

  “Marc,” Bobbie said softly, “Dr. Grade is there to help Katie. He’s there to take care of her.”

  Marcail was certain she was going to return home and have Rigg tell her that Kate was dying, but she didn’t mention any of this to Bobbie.

  “The people at the house are there for a reason. And even though I’m sure Katie wishes you could be nearby, she also sees that it would be easier if you were elsewhere. It would be the same as if you wanted to go to work at the livery with Sean. He’d like to have your company, but you couldn’t really help him with his job, and it would be easier for him if you weren’t there.

  “Having a baby is work. If Kate is worried about you, then she won’t be able to work as well as she needs to.”

  Some of the tension that had returned to Marcail’s face drained away, and they got in the wagon to head for the Bradfords. Jeff was careful not to look in the direction of his brother’s place as they rode through town, but he couldn’t help but wonder if his sister-in-law was all right. He prayed for all concerned and tried to turn his mind back to the situation at hand.

  Sean came out of his chair in the kitchen as though someone had jerked him up on a string. His sister had just let out a bloodcurdling scream, and he waited, his breath held, for some noise to issue from the bedroom.

  Black spots dotted his vision a moment later when he heard a baby cry. He sat back down with a thud, hoping he wouldn’t faint. A baby! His sister had had a baby!

  forty

  Sean watched May emerge from the bedroom, wiping her eyes.

  “A girl, a big beautiful girl.”

  Her words star
ted the young man’s own tears. Kate had confided in him one day that most men wanted boys, but that Rigg had wanted a daughter. She had said it was her deepest desire to give him that wish.

  “Is Kate all right?” Sean asked hesitantly over the lump in his throat.

  “She’s fine. Just give them a few minutes and you can go in.”

  It was less than two minutes before the door was thrown open and Rigg appeared, disheveled but beaming.

  “Sean! Get in here and see your niece! Where’s Marc?”

  “I’ll go and find her,” May said with more calm than she felt. It was an exhilarating experience to see your first grandchild enter the world, and she was feeling a bit light-headed about it.

  Rigg gave his mother an enormous hug before reaching for his brother-in-law. Sean noticed tears in the big man’s eyes and fought the return of his own as he stepped softly into the bedroom. He focused on his sister and she gave him a tired smile.

  Sean felt his own fatigue when he saw that smile. He hadn’t realized how tense he had been, but Kate was all right, he could see that. Everything was going to be fine because Kaitlin was all right.

  “Aren’t you going to look at her?”

  “Oh, sorry, Kate,” Sean nearly stuttered. He had been so worried about Kate that he forgot about the new little life his sister held in the curve of her arm.

  Sean couldn’t stop the frown that crossed his face at the first sight of his niece, and Kate chuckled softly.

  “She’s a funny-looking little thing, isn’t she, Sean?”

  “Well—” Sean wanted to disagree, but couldn’t.

  The baby was red and wrinkly and her face looked as if some fierce battle was going on inside of her. Her eyes opened as Sean watched, and she waved one tiny red fist in the air. Sean’s heart melted.

  “What’s her name?” he asked when he could find his voice again.

  “We thought we’d let Marcail decide,” Rigg said from his place on the opposite side of the bed.

  “That’s a good idea,” Sean said with conviction. He hadn’t seen much of his family over the summer, but he knew that Kate’s pregnancy had been very hard on his little sister. Marcail’s naming the baby was probably just what she needed to help her adjust to the changes that would certainly enter their home in the next few months.

  “There will be certain changes.”

  “What kind of changes?”

  “Good ones,” Bobbie answered. “You can be a tremendous help to Kaitlin with the baby. In fact the baby will probably think of you as a second mother, since you live in the same house.”

  Marcail was so pleased with Bobbie’s words that she was actually able to eat some lunch. She was just finishing when May knocked on the door.

  “I thought I might find you here,” May said as she entered the room. “You have a perfect little niece.” May gave Marcail a hug after making her announcement, or she might have noticed the worried look that had suddenly captured the little girl’s features.

  Why doesn’t anyone say how Kate is doing? The question tormented Marcail all the way home, but she kept her thoughts to herself and tried not to vomit. Rigg greeted her at the door with a big smile and Marcail took heart. He wouldn’t look like that if Kate was in heaven with Mother, would he?

  More chance for speculation was cut short when Rigg led her quietly into the bedroom. She told herself not to be sick when she saw Kate’s closed eyes, but she didn’t know how long she would be able to hold herself together. Marcail stood stock-still about two feet from what she was sure was Kate’s dead body and wished she hadn’t eaten lunch.

  Rigg watched his sister-in-law in silence. Her hands were clenched so tightly that her knuckles were white. Marcail’s eyes were fixed on Kate’s sleeping face and Rigg wondered if she might faint. She hadn’t been anywhere near the basket that held his daughter, and he wished with all his heart he knew what she was thinking.

  A few more seconds passed and Kaitlin opened her eyes. Rigg nearly reached for Marcail, since she seemed to go very limp. Kaitlin smiled at her little sister and that was Marcail’s undoing. Rivers of silent tears poured down her cheeks and she choked when she tried to speak.

  “I thought,” Marcail coughed and then took a deep breath, “I thought you were dead.”

  “Oh Marcail!” Kate was equally choked up as she leaned toward her sister. Marcail was too far from the bed for Kate to reach her, and blinded by her tears, she didn’t notice her sister’s outstretched arm, so Rigg propelled her forward with a gentle hand. He took a chair by the bed and wiped the tears from his own eyes over Marcail’s reaction.

  It hadn’t occurred to anyone that she might think her sister was dying. Of course it was blindness on their part, because they all knew how tense Marcail became whenever a doctor was called onto the scene. He realized now, as he took a moment to think, that she had almost been sick as she stood and watched Kate.

  “Am I hurting you, Katie?”

  “No.”

  Marcail had climbed right onto the bed with her sister and wrapped her arms around her neck. Kate held her protectively and her small body trembled from head to foot. Rigg had just placed a blanket over the top of her when she went very stiff. Marcail half-sat so she could look into her sister’s face.

  “You had a baby.”

  “That’s right, I did.” Kaitlin smiled. She had wondered when Marcail was going to ask.

  “Where is she?”

  “In the basket right over there.”

  Marcail left the bed gently and found Rigg smiling at her. She put her hand to her mouth and whispered. “I forgot about the baby for a minute.”

  “That’s all right,” Rigg whispered back.

  Husband and wife watched as she made her way across the room. “Oh my,” was all they heard for some moments.

  “What’s her name?” Marcail asked without ever taking her eyes from the sleeping infant.

  “We were hoping you would tell us,” Rigg answered softly.

  Marcail finally turned and looked at Rigg and then her sister. Kate nodded encouragingly and Marcail’s little mouth dropped open in surprise.

  “You want me to name her?”

  No one answered Marcail, but Rigg motioned her to the chair he had just vacated and scooped his tiny daughter into his hands. As Kate looked on, Rigg placed her in Marcail’s arms.

  “You did everything you could to make Kate’s pregnancy easier,” Rigg said as he helped Marcail hold the baby in the right position. “In fact I think you would have carried the baby yourself if you could have. So we want you to name your niece because we know how much you love her.”

  Marcail looked with wonder at the tiny person in her arms. She was just perfect. She held her a little closer in one arm and reached with her free hand to the silky thatch of black hair that covered the very top of the baby’s head and hung in uneven wisps down her forehead. She fingered the hair for just a moment before turning a smiling face to the adults in the room.

  “Gretchen.” Marcail said softly. “How do you like Gretchen Riggs after Rigg’s grandmother?”

  “It’s perfect.”

  “I love it.”

  “Why, we never would have thought of it!”

  Rigg and Kate were so pleased over the name that their words stumbled over the top of one another. But the ten-year-old aunt holding the baby didn’t notice. Her eyes were riveted on the tiny niece cuddled in her arms.

  Rigg and Kate beamed as they watched the two in the chair. Rigg leaned and kissed Kate softly on the mouth.

  “I believe she’s feeling a little bit of what I felt when I first laid eyes on you,” Rigg said softly to his wife.

  “And what was that exactly?”

  “Nothing short of love at first sight.” They kissed again and neither one heard Marcail whispering to the baby.

  “I love you, Gretchen Riggs. I love you like you were my very own.”

  forty-one

  Bobbie was very pleased to be heading home for the day.
She was emotionally and physically spent. It had seemed to take forever for Marcail to emerge from Rigg and Kaitlin’s bedroom. Bobbie had stayed in the living room with May, Jeff, and Sean. She found the pretense of acting as though everything was fine more difficult every second.

  It had been over a half-hour before she had been able to see the baby and excuse herself. May drove her back to the shipping office so she could tell Bill and Gilbert the news. Bobbie had worked the rest of the day as well as locked up that evening.

  She had missed out on seeing Paige and Wesley when they were infants, and Bobbie’s throat had been so tight at her first view of Gretchen that she could barely swallow.

  Once home, she halfway hoped that Jeff would come by so she could apologize to him, but she ate her supper and went to bed without seeing him.

  Two hours after Bobbie blew out her lamp she was still awake. The moon was full, so after slipping her spectacles back onto her nose, she found her robe and went to the kitchen. She had lit the lamp and was preparing a snack when her mother joined her.

  “Did I wake you?”

  “Yes, but that’s all right.”

  The women worked on cups of tea and sandwiches in silence. When they did begin to speak it was about small things—dress material that Maryanne had seen, how nice the gifts at the reception had been, and how quickly the summer had gone. When Bobbie had finished her sandwich and half of her tea she confided to her mother about what happened in the dining room at the Walcotts’.

  “I think I’m in love with him, Mom, but that doesn’t give me the right to kiss him. I mean, he and Sylvia are seeing each other and I think they might get married. I told myself I would never run again, but I’ve got to tell Bill I’ll be looking for work somewhere else in town.”

  Maryanne was quiet. She was praying for words of comfort and Bobbie began to think she was upset.

  “You’re disappointed in me, aren’t you?”