All Foxed Up

by Emma Dean

  “Look,” Selene snapped. “You can’t perform magic Kenz, but you are magic. You’re a goddamn witch whether you like it or not. Now act like it.”

  Kenzie watched how little Ash’s chest moved as he breathed. Was he getting enough oxygen? “Fine, I carve the runes. And then what?”

  “You’re going to hold his hand so your blood mixes with his and close your eyes. The power in your blood is inactive, but it’s there. It should allow you to take that step sideways into his mind. Use the mate bond to guide you. Find him, and pull him out before his memories kill him. Whatever happened all those years ago…” Selene was silent for a moment. “He almost died, Kenz. So make sure it doesn’t happen this time either.”

  Fucking magic and its goddamn consequences. “All right, what are the runes?”

  Kenzie was careful to precisely draw each one as Selene named them.

  Magic was never the quick fix everyone thought it was. There was always some side effect, some bullshit that happened because witches took power from the universe and molded it to their own purposes with the power in their blood, their very DNA.

  There was always a payment, and it was never the same and sometimes it wasn’t even taken from the person who cast the magic.

  Taking Ash’s hand, she carefully carved the runes into his palm as quickly as she could before his shifter healing kicked in. But it never did. “He’s not healing, S.”

  “Then hurry the fuck up Kenzie.” The note of panic in Selene’s voice was the only reason she didn’t snap at her sister for the attitude.

  Ash may not mean as much to her sister, but she liked him enough Selene didn’t want him to die either. And that more than anything terrified Kenzie.

  “Runes are done,” she said. “Any words I have to say?”

  “No, between the runes, your blood, and the bond it should be enough. Put me on speaker while you go in. I’ll be right here when you get out.”

  Kenzie set the phone down and held Ash’s hand in hers, the other curled to keep the blood from spilling everywhere. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

  She slapped her hand against Ash’s and winced at the sting, but Kenzie already felt the pull. Closing her eyes made it even more obvious. This might actually not be as hard as she thought it would be.

  Getting out would be the difficult part.

  Feeling for the bond, it trembled between them. Kenzie tried not to think too much about how weak it was and just let the power in her blood strengthen it, letting it guide her.

  Selene always mentioned clearing her mind, using her breathing to help. So Kenzie took a slow breath in and took a mental step forward. When she let it out she opened her eyes.

  Where was she?

  Looking up she could see they were in some kind of forest. Snow on the ground came up to her knees, but she couldn’t feel the cold. The snow covered the trees and it was so quiet it was almost peaceful.

  Until a scream cut through the air like a knife.

  Kenzie was running before it even fully registered. The pain was what she felt the most. It pierced her heart like a hot iron rod straight from the fire and burned hotter as she ran, telling Kenzie she was getting closer.

  “Ash!”

  His answering scream terrified her.

  It wasn’t a human sound. It was an animal screaming its dying cry, fighting off Death for as long as possible, ripping through vocal chords in defiance.

  Trees whipped past and her bare feet on the snow didn’t seem to have issue gaining traction.

  She burst through a pair of tall oaks into a clearing and skidded to a stop.

  There was Ash in the center, fighting for his life.

  Blood covered everything.

  Kenzie ran, ignoring the bodies of dead foxes on the ground as she rushed to him. She knew in this memory he had to be no more than a child, but he looked as she’d always known him. Whether it was her mind showing her what she needed to see, or if it was his own mind that supplied the image, she wasn’t sure.

  There were people with guns, humans if her nose was right.

  “Ash!”

  Fates, he was bleeding from at least three different locations as he stood over someone she didn’t know – someone she didn’t want to know if her suspicions were correct.

  Kenzie hit the first human at a full run and they both went flying.

  Suddenly her knife was in her hand and she plunged it into the human’s throat, ripping the gun from him. Whipping around she threw that knife and it sank into the other human’s neck. He grappled for it, scrabbling as he gurgled and more blood stained the snow red.

  Ash hadn’t even noticed her, he was too busy screaming his rage and she watched as he shifted. His hands grew sharp claws and his face became more vulpine and then it shifted back to human, over and over as his body curled over a much smaller one.

  She placed a hand on his shoulder, knowing what could happen and doing it anyway.

  Ash snarled and whirled around, raking his claws over her belly.

  Kenzie fell to her knees, clutching her stomach as blood poured from the rips in her skin. “Ash.” She reached out for him, ignoring the shifting between fox and human. Her hand touched his face and he stopped, chest heaving. “Ash, it’s me, Kenzie. We need to leave this place.”

  He blinked and those blue eyes of his were as dark as the blue ice over the pond. “Kenzie?”

  “Yes, we have to get out of here.” But they couldn’t just leave. She looked down at the body he was still protecting. “What happens next? Let me help you through.”

  “Kenzie, you’re bleeding,” Ash said, staring at the blood covering his hand. “Did I do that?”

  “Focus!” she snapped, gripping the back of his neck. “What happened?”

  That’s when he moved and she saw it, saw the small form of a little toddler. She was perfect even in death. With her rosy cheeks, bright red lips, and black hair she could be Snow White – not dead, just asleep.

  “My sister,” he said, gently pushing a curl from her forehead. “They found us and hunted us. Killed every last one of us.” Ash looked up at her and his eyes were filled with so much pain she felt a lump clog her throat.

  Kenzie nodded, trying to keep it together for just a little while longer. “And then what happened?”

  “He killed my sister and then I tore out his throat.”

  The man she’d stabbed didn’t have a knife wound anymore. He lay at Ash’s feet with a giant gaping wound in his neck only teeth could make.

  “What next?”

  Ash lay down and curled his body around his sister. Kenzie watched him turn into the small boy he once was and tears spilled down her cheeks. She held her hand to her stomach and crawled to him.

  “You can’t give up,” she whispered. “What happened? You survived this. Tell me what happened.”

  “I was ready to die…” Ash trailed off.

  “No.” She shook him, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. “You didn’t die, Ash. This is just a memory. It’s not real. How did you get out of this?”

  Those blue eyes looked so strange in a boy’s face. Like he was a thousand years old and had witnessed the worst the world had to offer and couldn’t stand it anymore. And she supposed he had.

  Jesus, they were both so small.

  “Ash, please, how did you make it out of here?”

  He looked up to the sky and smiled. “An angel came.”

  She was starting to feel the cold. Her feet were frozen and numb, but her hand felt like it was burning as hot blood kept pouring over it. “An angel?”

  “Sometimes we get confused,” a cultured male voice said.

  And there he was.

  Kenzie gaped at the man who looked exactly the same as he had the other day. The only difference was he wore a different suit. “Eisheth?”

  The demon picked up the little boy who would grow up to be her mate one day, and he held him close. “I’m going to get you out of her
e,” he told Ash. “There’s someone you have to meet. And I don’t think she’ll survive this world without you.”

  The demon stared at her the whole time – clearly seeing her somehow even through time.

  “My sister is dead,” little Ash said sullenly. “I already failed.”

  Eisheth turned and carried Ash out of the clearing. “You didn’t fail; you just need to get big and strong. None of this was your fault.”

  “I should have saved her.” For someone so young, he was so solemn. Ash had always been intense, taking the world onto his shoulders before they were wide enough to carry it.

  “You need to grow up big and strong,” Eisheth told him. “You’ll save so many people. It can’t make up for your sister, but the universe isn’t fair like that. I will make a promise though, the one waiting to meet you? She’s worth living for.” The demon glanced over his shoulder at her one last time before popping out of existence.

  “Then he told me he would take my memory until I was ready to get it back.”

  Kenzie jumped and looked behind her. There was the Ash she knew, holding his hand out for her, unshed tears in his eyes.

  “Were you ready?” she asked.

  “I don’t think anyone would ever be ready to remember this shit, but the demon was right about one thing.”

  Kenzie took his hand, trusting him to stay with her – to walk out of this nightmare together. “What was it?”

  Ash picked her up, letting her blood mix with the gunshot wounds from his memory. He stared down at her with an unreadable expression. And just like that a door appeared. “You’re worth living for, Kenzie.”

  She threw her arms around his neck and Ash took them through the door and back into the real world.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kenzie

  “Kenzie!”

  She lurched to a sitting position, gasping as she clapped a hand over her stomach, remembering the way Ash’s claws had nearly gutted her.

  “Can someone please tell me if you’re all alive or not?” Selene demanded.

  What was that rocking sensation—right, the boat.

  “Ash?”

  Slowly his eyes opened and he blinked like he’d just been taking a long nap. He sat up so fast he blurred and then ripped her dress off. The fabric tearing shocked her and Kenzie just stared at him like he’d lost his mind.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his lap. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Kenzie was afraid to look down, but when she did it wasn’t nearly as bad as she’d thought it would be. The marks weren’t gaping wounds, but there were five scratches right under her belly button that ran from hip to hip. They were angry and red, but the skin wasn’t broken. There wasn’t even blood.

  “Okay, everyone’s alive?” Selene asked.

  “Yeah, we’re both alive. Thanks, I’ll call you in the morning.” Kenzie hung up the phone and tore off Ash’s shirt.

  The scars that were there before were now raw and oozing blood, but they were healing. “Fuck,” she murmured. “Memory charms are no joke.”

  Ash couldn’t stop staring at her stomach. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  She looked up at him, and the lingering confusion in his eyes tore at her heart. “What do you remember?” Kenzie didn’t even care that she was sitting in her underwear and strapless bra, dress shredded to pieces. Not if it reassured him she was actually fine.

  “You came for me,” he murmured. “I don’t think I would have made it out of there without you.”

  She took a shuddering breath and wrapped her arms around his neck like she had in the memory, holding on tight as she felt his chest expand and he breathed normally again. His skin was slowly warming up, and the memory wounds were healing.

  “Of course I came for you.” Kenzie’s whole body started shaking as the fear and adrenaline started to drain away. “I told you I’d get you through this.”

  Ash buried his face in her neck. “How? I thought only witches could do that kind of shit.”

  “Apparently I’m still witch enough to manage it with the help of our bond.” Kenzie pulled back and showed him her palm, blood crusted into the shape of the runes. Then she pulled up his and compared the two. “Weird, it scarred.”

  His shifter healing should have completely erased any evidence that she’d carved into his palm, but runes had their own power. Her entire body was proof of that.

  “Now we match,” Ash said, comparing their two hands. “I’m okay with that.”

  Something about that hit her deep and hard. Kenzie gripped his face, kissing him hard. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, echoing his apology.

  “You’re worth living for, Kenzie. I meant that.” Ash flipped her over onto her back so fast she gasped. Then he kissed the marks he’d left on her mind and on her body. “I’m glad he forced me to live. That he took those memories from me and put me in the foster system. If he hadn’t…I never would have met you.”

  Tears ran down the sides of her face and into her hair. Kenzie swallowed, trying to get rid of the lump in her throat.

  No one had ever said anything like that to her before and it meant…so much more than she thought Ash could ever understand. He wanted to live for her when the whole world hadn’t thought Kenzie’s life was worth anything at all – not even to her.

  “Why are you crying?” Ash asked, kissing the tears from her face as he lay down beside her, stretching his body out next to hers – skin to skin.

  “I thought you were going to die,” she whispered, turning into him and tucking her head under his chin so he couldn’t see her fucking lose it. “And everything I saw…”

  All those bodies and one very tiny one.

  Ash said nothing, he just held her tighter.

  “Are you angry with me?” she asked.

  “For what, crazy girl?”

  “For making you remember that?”

  “No.” He stroked her hair, letting her tears soak his skin until they stopped. “You didn’t make me do anything. And before you say it was your idea, it was something that needed to be done.”

  She still felt guilty. He’d almost died because of her.

  Ash tapped her nose. “Stop that. You know I can feel all that shit through the bond. I’m still glad I did it despite everything.”

  “Is it like, you’ve known it all along? Or is it a shock?” she asked, tracing the fading scar of the bullet wound on his shoulder.

  “Mm.” His warm breath in her hair was somehow reassuring. “Since Eisheth blocked it from me it was a bit shocking at first, but it was always there. It wasn’t something I’d forced myself to forget. So it’s settled a little and it’s sore, but not fresh.” There was a pause as he considered. “If that makes sense.”

  Kenzie couldn’t get close enough to him. She tightened her grip on his neck and pulled herself up higher until she was curled up in his lap. Ash was her mate. And she’d almost lost him. The thought wouldn’t leave her alone.

  It didn’t matter that it was no one’s fault and this was bound to happen eventually.

  She’d almost lost him.

  The pain when the bond had weakened, it had taken her breath away, but pain she could deal with.

  It was the desolation she’d had knowing that a piece of her would be missing.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around her. “I’m going to make you do challenges with me until we’re old.”

  Kenzie laughed through her tears. “If it’s even a thing then.”

  Gently he put a finger under her chin and forced her to look at him. “Thank you.” Ash’s voice was solemn and determined. He wanted her to understand – and through their bond she knew he wouldn’t have done this any other way even if he’d known how it was going to turn out.

  “You’re welcome,” Kenzie murmured, curling her fingers into his hair. At least…at least she’d been here for him. She’d been able to get him out. And Ash was still v
ery much alive.

  Pressing her lips to his she kept it soft and gentle, wrapping the silken strands of his hair as she just enjoyed the taste and feel of him. When Ash ran his tongue over the seam of her lips she sighed, feeling relief settle in and she parted her lips.

  His tongue was hot, stroking hers, undulating in a way that instantly made her wet. Kenzie groaned and tightened her grip on his hair tight enough to sting. Yes, this was what she needed. She needed this visceral reminder they were both alive.

  Before she could straddle him, Ash flipped her over onto her back and covered her entire body with his. The sensation of his skin against hers, the still-tender scratches on her stomach…Kenzie reached for his pants and as soon as the clasp was undone she pushed them down, using her toes to get them off so she didn’t have to stop kissing him.

  Ash gripped her wrists hard, and pushed his knee between her legs, forcing her to make space for him. Kenzie cradled him between her thighs, following his lead.

  “Do you trust me?” Ash asked, pulling back to search her face.

  Those dark blue eyes that would always remind her of ice and what he’d survived, that he was who he was now because he had survived. That he’d always been serious, even as a boy. Tragedy hadn’t done that to him.

  A demon had made sure he was still in one piece so he could be this.

  And Ash was perfect.

  “Yes. I trust you.” Kenzie held his gaze as he slid her hands up and over her head.

  He grabbed his tie and used it to bind her hands together. It was silky and just tight enough her breathing quickened as Kenzie realized what he was doing. Fates, he was going to wreck her and she couldn’t wait.

  It didn’t matter what she did to urge him on, Ash didn’t rush. He tied off her wrists with a little smile and then pulled some rope out of his nightstand. “The moment you want me to take it off, I will,” he told her, using the rope to secure the binding on her wrists to the headboard.

  Kenzie gave a little yank, testing the strength. Boat-boy tied some good knots. She could pull all she wanted and it wouldn’t give unless she untied the knot itself, which he’d made sure was near her fingers. Kenzie could easily undo it if she wanted.