“Seev vestos vilnor,” the women spoke four times. There was a pause as the wind lifted the herbs into the air and the flames dimmed considerably. My aunt and my sister both opened their eyes to me as they chanted more. “Creemha sam et ath ergor letas.” Again, this was said four times. And when they were done, when they finally closed their eyes, I was no longer sitting there in the grass. I was sitting on Elliot’s bedroom floor next to his window.
I could feel the coolness in the air as it crept over me. I stood to my feet and scanned the room. Silence, but a good silence. There were no screams, no grunts, nothing that made me feel cautious or afraid. I walked around the room for a minute. The top drawer of the dresser was a little open, and inside were various undershirts in white. I could see the scuff marks on the floor where the whole piece had been shoved back from our wild night. The memory gave way to more chills, more little goosebumps flooding my skin.
Bathed in dark blues and warm woodsy tones, the entire bedroom had a sense of comfort. If only I could dive into his bed. To have him cradle me the way he did the first night. I could practically feel the warmth of his sheets then. Going closer, I felt more and more at ease. The scent of his hair on the pillows, the ruffled sheets where his body had recently laid. Reaching out to touch the softness of the comforter, I was instantly reminded of how it felt to have Elliot perched above me. To see his eyes—so incredibly clear and blue—stare down over me in my most vulnerable moment. The desire to feel that again grew and grew until I started to feel dizzy. I caught myself on the bedpost and then decided to sit down on the bed, and then the faint sound of footsteps came to my ears.
“I’ll meet you at the boat,” his voice carried through the halls. More steps—louder steps—and again, he spoke. “London then New York.” London? I could feel the dizziness beginning to fade. I held tight to the bedpost and stood as the door handle turned. And there he was. His hair was windblown, his clothes a little dirty from being outside too long. I felt my eyes swell as I said his name. But he, occupied by going to London, I understood, went to his dresser and began to pull out clothes. As he stacked them together, I said his name one more time.
“Why won’t you look at me?” I begged in a near-whisper. “Are you upset with me?”
Elliot slowly turned, and as he looked across the room, he looked right through me. Without hesitation, I went right up to him and stood at his side at the vanity. And there, I could clearly see his reflection, but not mine. It didn’t work. Sure, I was there. And I could see him, which was more than enough to ease my curiosity. But he couldn’t see me. I wanted to touch him, to have him pull me close and comfort me like he had always done.
“Is someone here?” he hesitantly asked. I could sense the uncertainty in his voice. Somehow I had caught his attention.
“I am,” I spoke as a tear fell. I went closer to Elliot and put my hand on his face, up near his ear where I could feel his hair at my fingertips. “I wish you could feel this,” I said just as he seemed to shudder. It was like he was caught off-guard. His eyes opened and then narrowed, and his body trembled in the slightest way that I almost missed it.
Elliot drew in a broken breath. “I can smell you,” he whispered. “Irene?” His mention of my name sent a churning deep into my core. I wasn’t satisfied with a ghostly encounter, I wanted to be there. “I’m doing fine,” his voice lifted a little. “It hasn’t been easy, but things are working out.”
I ran my fingers through his hair, and he immediately reached up to my hand. I could feel the warmth coming from his skin, even though I couldn’t entirely feel his touch.
“I miss you,” I told, breathing him in as I felt myself being pulled from his world. With another fallen tear, I blinked away Frostmoor and found myself staring back at my aunt and sister. And I just fell apart. I don’t really know if this was when I realized how badly I loved him, or if it had come earlier and I had chosen to suppress it, but either way, I had no doubts in that moment of awakening. Yes, I had chosen my path, yes, I knew of my fate, but never had I longed for someone in such a way that it caused my heart to ache. Not even with Cole.
My sister grabbed me up and let me cry. And it went on long enough that it began to rain. We carried the candles inside and dried off, and my aunt brewed some tea.
“I’m sorry,” I told Charlotte as we sat together on the couch. The evening had come, and the sky grew violet as the rain ended.
“For what?” she whispered back. The television was on low, my aunt and Erik were in the kitchen talking quietly.
I shifted toward my sister and tried not to cry anymore. I couldn’t really help it, though. “For everything. For you having to be turned. For mom,” I choked back the pain. “All of this is my fault, and here you are, helping me all over again. I’m supposed to take care of you.”
“No, you aren’t,” she laughed as her eyes glossed over. “We take care of each other.” She looked me over with a shimmer in her eye. “Why are you apologizing anyway? We’ve been over this.”
“I know, I know. I just…”
“What is it?”
I sighed. How was I supposed to sum everything up when all it was, was emotion? “Everything’s so different now, I feel like things are happening around me and I’m just… here.”
Charlotte leaned back and let the air out of her lungs. “Yeah. Things are very different. I miss Dylan, you know. He could always tell me how to handle things without being so dramatic.” We both laughed. “And it’s weird how you’re not here to yell at me when I get home late,” she rolled her eyes in my direction as she smiled.
“He was telling someone something about London and New York,” I revealed. “Is he planning on traveling?”
My aunt came into the room with a towel in her hands. “Yes, Irene.” I stared up at her for a second. “I had a message from your father yesterday. I didn’t know how to tell you, but Elliot’s been attending meetings with the other legions.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s their Lord.”
“And what about me? Why didn’t he invite me?” I begged for an answer as I felt my shoulders tighten. My aunt, moving the towel around to dry her hands, left a scent in the air. And the minute I caught that scent, nothing else mattered.
“The message was clear; Elliot will be busy with engagements all month,” she explained as I took the towel right out of her hands. “And that he was doing well.” Her words sort of trailed off as she took on a curious tone. “Irene?” she asked as I sniffed the towel. Leaning forward, pushing the blanket that encased Charlotte and I both onto the floor, I sniffed at the air. Closer to my aunt, the smell grew strong. “Irene?” her voice firm, my eyes hit hers.
“What are you cooking?” I could feel the saliva pooling in my mouth. “What is that scent?”
“It’s just some muffins for breakfast.” I jetted from the couch and into the kitchen. Erik was at the table looking sleepy. He had put his little wire glasses on and was reading over a recipe card. “They’re like the blueberry muffins I always make.”
“Is it mom’s recipe?” I nearly shouted as I pulled the recipe card right out of Erik’s hand. “What’s in them?”
“Should we call someone?” Charlotte asked my aunt as both women came into the kitchen.
“Who?” my aunt returned. “Irene? Look at me,” she demanded. I closed the oven door and faced her as I realized my heart was beating fast and heavy.
“Why do I want this so badly?” Again, my eyes swelled. “Why can’t I think of anything else?”
Erik stood slowly from the table and neared me with searching little eyes. He pulled his glasses from his face and stared me over for several seconds. He then turned toward my aunt and declared, “She should be with her Lord.”
“Really, I just want to go home,” I argued with my aunt an hour later.
“You are home.” She paced around the living room.
“Could you please sit down?” I spoke with force. “I’m dizzy just sitting here.
”
“Probably because you aren’t sleeping right,” Charlotte called me out. “I can see it all over your face. You’ve been late to open the store; I saw you driving into the city the other night around one.”
“You did?”
“Caleb and I wanted cheeseburgers,” her brow flickered. “You need to stop acting like you’re okay being apart from Elliot,” Charlotte sat at my side. “It’s so obvious you’re not.”
I rolled my eyes. “But he certainly doesn’t need me.” Scrunching my knees up to my chest, I realized I wasn’t as lonely when I let the frustration turn to anger. “He’s traveling all over the world, probably holding meetings about this massive trip that I still know nothing about, and he hasn’t tried to say one thing to me. If he’s out there in this realm, he could call me. Like, on the damn phone!”
“Irene,” my aunt scolded. The air settled for a second, and then she informed, “No one outside of your own legion knows about this trip to Isle Lore. It must be kept secret, or we could have someone trying to steal the stone.”
I huffed as I nodded. “Aunt Cressa, I thought he was suffering,” I nearly whispered. “I thought he was being consumed by this terrible darkness that he tried so hard to suppress. That I insisted he embrace. I felt horrible after the revoking,” I started to feel the sadness crawl over me like before. “He was slaughtering men like they were weeds in his garden. And I felt responsible.” I took a minute to swallow before the tears could fully form. “But no, he’s out sightseeing,” I bit my lip. “while I go crazy.”
“You aren’t crazy,” Charlotte chimed. Her eyes then flicked up to our aunt, and I knew not even she was sure.
“How do we know he isn’t falling to the darkness?” my aunt spoke like she knew something we had yet to see with our own eyes. “And you think you’re crazy,” she scoffed.
I put my head into my arms as I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’m not myself,” I breathed out. “It isn’t that I’m sick, you know?” I faced Charlotte. “I’m just dealing with something I don’t understand.” I lifted my eyes to my aunt, who was now sitting in the chair across from me. “Is it because the darkness is gone? Am I not complete?”
“Your Lord should be here,” Erik again reminded me. I was starting to wish he’d go home.
“She asked me not to bother him,” my aunt was firm in her reply.
“Why do you want him to come? Why is it so urgent?” Charlotte asked the man.
Joining us in the living room, Erik came in and the air was immediately cooler. We could all see that there was something wrong by the way he studied me with kind eyes.
“Am I dying?” I blurted out into the silence.
My aunt and Charlotte spoke simultaneously. “Of course not.” “No way.”
Again, silence permeated the room. Erik bit on his glasses as he must’ve been thinking of the right words to say. “I feel something… around you. It reminds me of the stone.”
“Well, it was with me for a while.”
“No, it’s different. And your eyes,” he neared me, sharpening his gaze over mine. “They aren’t as green.”
“What?” I jumped from the couch before my aunt or sister had a chance to look. I shot into the bathroom behind the stairs and flipped on the light. Charlotte was right behind me.
“Oh my god,” she mumbled. My eyes weren’t as green as they were before the ritual. Like oil in water, a gray mist had begun to creep along the rim of my irises. In a random pattern, different in each eye, the gray took over about a fifth of the green.
“What does this mean?” I had my forehead in my hands at the table. It was almost midnight as we discussed contacting Frostmoor. “Am I sick?”
“You said you felt different,” Charlotte reminded.
“Let me see,” a frantic Cole barged into the house. Rushing to see me face to face, the man studied me like I was an alien.
“Oh, come on,” I shrugged and went back to holding my head in my hands.
“Irene, this is serious,” Cole lectured.
“You think I don’t know that?” I got up from the chair and went into the living room. I stood there for a moment as the memory of Elliot and I dancing came to mind. I could hear the music so clearly, and I could see him standing there with his steady stare. “Elliot?” I whispered.
“What?” Charlotte got up and came toward me as I tried to pretend like I wasn’t having another hallucination. I shrugged at my sister, and then faced Elliot again. The man walked toward me as his eyes fixed on mine. It was mesmerizing to be caught in his stare. To be subject to his attention. I waited patiently as he neared me, his scent flooding my nose and lungs. But the dizziness of earlier returned, and as Cole called my name, I fell into his waiting arms.
“Lay her here,” my aunt insisted, and I felt Cole lift me and carry me to the couch. My sister wrapped the blanket around me and turned off the lamp. I fell asleep there as the others talked about my condition in the kitchen. I could sense Cole was watching over me, but it didn’t occupy my mind like I expected. Instead, this night was the start of some pretty incredible, pretty lucid dreams about Elliot.
Walking up the stairs to my apartment near the evening, I grabbed the handle and felt a sense of déjà vu. I focused a moment on the door and then went inside. There, at the northern window, with his arms crossed tight, stood Elliot.
“You’re here?” I beamed. I went to him as he faced me with those gorgeous blue eyes. “I’ve missed you,” I told him as I twitched my fingers around at my waist. I waited for him to lower his arms as his eyes scanned my body. “Say something,” I begged beneath him.
Before he spoke, he reached his hand up to my face and gently moved the bangs from my left eye. Feeling his skin on mine was enough to awaken that churning I felt deep in my core. I trembled, goosebumps waved over me as I bit my lip. With his mouth at my ear, he shushed me, but it only fueled the fire. Hands traveling to delicate places, I begged him not to hold back. And even though my apartment was a terrible mess of broken things, I somehow woke to the perfectly intact living room of my old home.
I wasn’t staying there any longer. I got up, feeling a bit euphoric, no less, and saw that it was only four o’clock. The house was still as I grabbed my boots and zipped them up. I knew that by starting my car, I’d wake everyone, but I wanted to get back to my apartment; to the place where Elliot was. I glanced over the place and saw no one present. Charlotte would be in her bed, Aunt Cressa in hers. With Erik probably. That thought made me giggle. I opened the door as quietly as I could, but when I closed it, there stood Cole.
“Holy crap!” I shouted in a whisper. “What are you doing out here?”
“Making sure you’re okay,” he stepped up to me with a pressed brow. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going home,” my brow perked. “You should do the same.”
“Irene, look at me,” he demanded as I passed him and went toward the stairs.
“You can’t babysit me, Cole,” I waved my hand around. “I’m leaving, and I want to be alone.”
“No, wait,” he came up and grabbed my arm. “What did you do?” his eyes shifted over mine.
“What do you mean?”
“The gray, it’s gone.”
Relief.
The feeling of lighter air, less pressure on my mind. “It is?”
“Yeah,” he continued to stare over me. His nearness gave me pause, his air bold and intoxicating like it had always been. But there was more, something else. I didn’t understand, but Cole was feeling less familiar and a little more strange with each passing second. I almost didn’t want to stand there anymore. I almost couldn’t look him in the eye.
I rushed over to my car, yelling back over my shoulder, “Come visit me sometime.” Cole gave a quick nod, and then I was off to the winding road and toward the bridge. And when I got to my apartment, as I climbed the stairs and held the handle, I could practically sense that Elliot was inside. I rushed in and went right for the bed. Dressing
down to my camisole and underwear, I curled into the blankets and thought of Elliot. And sure enough, he appeared.
THE BEWILDERMENT
By the time the sun came up, I was blissfully immersed in a dream. My sister, of course, couldn’t just let me be. Hard and fast, her fist hit my door and I jumped from my bed.
Ugh.
“Irene,” she yelled. “Open the door. You shouldn’t be alone.” If only she knew.
“Okay, okay,” I mumbled as I ran my fingers through my hair. Pushing the blanket off to the side, I crawled over to the foot of the bed and stretched. Again, my impatient sister banged and shouted.
“Irene, let me in!”
“Hang on! Jeez,” I got up and started to walk over to the door when I heard Elliot call my name. I stopped right before the door and turned around to see him there by the stove. “Elliot?” I spoke as I tried to focus my vision on the man.
“What?” my sister said to me through the door. “Irene, please unlock the door.” Her voice pulled me from him just enough so that his body seemed to be phasing in and out of the realm right before my eyes.
“No, don’t go,” I pleaded, rushing toward him as he completely vanished. I went to where he was and could smell his scent. Turning to face the rest of the apartment, I found him nowhere.
“Is someone in there?” Charlotte kept up. Another hit to the door and I went straight over and opened it. My sister came in with searching, curious eyes. “Who were you talking to?” she asked me as she investigated the whole of the apartment. I went to the kitchen and tried not to be obvious as I smelled in the remaining scent of my Lord.
“Myself,” I lied. My sister had just come out of the bathroom. She stood there looking at me with a determined stance, crossing her arms and cocking her hip. “I’m here alone, as usual.”
Witherstone- Wings of My Legion Page 3
