“You don’t have to be.”
“I’m not upset about being alone,” I took a seat on the stool opposite where Elliot had just stood. “I’m upset that I’m not being included.”
“It’s just hard, you know. We’re all worried about you.”
“Worried?” I crossed my arms, too. “Because of what’s already happened?”
“Well,” she started, but I kept talking.
“Or are you guys afraid of what I’ll become?”
She shrugged. “Look at you.”
“Because, honestly, I don’t need you to be worried. I need you to be a friend.”
Charlotte paced toward me with a pressing glare. “And we aren’t being good friends when we try to protect you?” she snapped.
“Oh, well, thank you,” I spat back at her. “Thanks for doing everything for me while I sit here and, and wonder… about my future, about the trip. Like a little child.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” she waved her hands around for a second, and then she crossed her arms tighter around her body than before. “We want to protect you because you’re the one in need of protection. If I were you, you’d be at my side all the time, without the need for any explanation.” Damn her. “And yes, we’ve been planning out the trip to Isle Lore without you because I know you’ll be the first to jump into that portal.” Her gaze softened. “We’ve all been trying to do our part in the whole thing. You know,” she shrugged a grin at me. “You were the temple, Irene. You’ve done so much already.”
I breathed deep and let my body loosen. “I miss it all, you know?” Charlotte nodded. “I am a magical being, just like you guys. And I want to be included.” The room quieted. “It’s hard for me to accept things when I don’t understand them.”
To this, Charlotte let out a happy sigh, “That’s it. That’s you, completely.”
I curled inward and breathed out the stress. “I don’t want to be your problem.”
“Irene, you aren’t,” she refused just as quick as I said my words. “This won’t be easy now,” she came and sat on the stool beside me.
I nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
“That cloudiness in your eyes really scared me,” she confessed, her eyes so gentle then. “And it frightened Erik. He’s been researching all morning.”
“I feel okay,” I shrugged. “I mean, yeah… things have been a little strange,” I raised my brow as a lingering fresh scent washed over me. “But I’m strong. I will see that the darkness is returned and that the people who died with its protection are set free.”
Charlotte leaned into me with a smile. “That’s why I fight for you,” she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “And that’s why I’m so glad you’re my sister.”
I breathed through a smile. “Don’t get sappy on me,” we laughed.
“Irene,” Elliot’s voice commanded my attention. I jolted back and turned to see him there where he was before. And I can’t put into words how badly I wanted to rush at him and take him into my arms—and never let go.
“What is it?” my sister cocked her head. I wondered for a moment if telling her about my hallucinations was a good idea. But missing the chance to see Elliot again was not an option.
“Don’t leave again,” I begged him.
“Irene?” my sister’s voice was quiet as she stood with me. My eyes were firmly set on Elliot. As he reached out and touched my face, I leaned in and closed my eyes. My hair fell around his fingers, and he brushed it back over my shoulder. “Who’s here?” Charlotte insisted I answer. When I turned to face her, I could clearly see the look of uncertain curiosity in her eyes.
“Can you sense him?” I didn’t expect her to acknowledge his presence. Even I thought he might have been nothing more than a mirage. “Are you really here?” I asked Elliot.
“I need you to stop pulling from me,” he told.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re taking my energy, Irene. I can’t do anything without feeling you near.”
I pulled from his touch. “I only tried to see you twice,” I spoke in defense. So what if I tried to communicate with him? He wasn’t making any effort to reach out to me. Not until I had somehow bothered him by my visits. And why wouldn’t he want to feel me near? “That’s more than you’ve done.”
“It’s every single night,” his voice grew sharp. I could see the same gray swirl in his eyes that I had seen in mine the night before. “You’re everywhere. Everything.”
“Don’t think it’s one-sided,” I refuted.
“Irene, listen to me,” he reached for my hand, but I pulled away.
“I want you to leave,” I crossed my arms. I couldn’t look at him. He wasn’t there to see how I was, or to speak to me because he missed me. No. He was there to tell me to leave him alone. “Go back to your travels and let me move on.”
“You don’t mean that,” he leaned to see me, eye to eye. His brow was soft and his gaze tender. My sister was there at the counter watching it all, even though I was sure she couldn’t see or hear him. She looked like she was watching the ending to a rom-com.
I breathed out while keeping my chest high. “The dreams I have of you are amazing. Why can’t you be that way all the time?”
“You’re dreaming of me?” his brow arched.
“You said I was everything, everywhere. Aren’t you dreaming of me, too?” I let my gaze flicker up toward him. When he shook his head, I bit my lip. I had a smile on my face, but my eyes were filling. He wasn’t going through what I was. There was something wrong, and it was taking over my thoughts and my desires. And in some way that I couldn’t understand, I was able to draw out his energy from a different realm. No wonder Erik was frightened. He must’ve realized.
“My energy will weaken you,” Elliot warned. “Let me go. Just for now.”
I dropped a tear. “I don’t want to. And I won’t,” I shook my head. Elliot stepped up, but I kept on. “You’re avoiding me, I know it.” He lowered his head and then peered up beneath his brow. “I know you’re scared, but I need you. If you won’t be here, then I’ll dream of you. And that’s fine.”
“I just need time to align the legions on our new policies before we leave for Isle Lore,” he informed.
“And why wasn’t I invited? I am your Lady, aren’t I?” I cocked my head. Without a response, I snickered. “Yeah, just like Lorcan thought,” I bit my lip as I let my thoughts slice through the atmosphere. “Just a queen bee to populate your island.”
“That isn’t fair, Irene,” Elliot’s eyes took on a tint of red. His nostrils flared, and I could feel the darkness hit the air. “You aren’t meant for that, you’re…” but here he stopped. His brow crinkled as the blue in his eyes returned to normal.
“I’m what?” I tapped my foot.
“What is that?” he asked me as his gaze examined the space around me, and then the apartment. I shrugged and looked where he was looking.
“What is what?”
“Can you hear that?” his eyes shifted to Charlotte. She, however, was unaware of his question. I faced her wide eyes and repeated his question.
“Hear what?” she shook her hair to the side and fixed her jacket. “Is something wrong?”
I faced Elliot again. “Will you please tell me what is happening?” I begged him.
The man had a look of confusion on his face, a resolute stare that kept shifting around in search of something ambiguous. And before either of us could say another word, he phased out of my world. I went to the couch and curled up with the throw blanket as more tears fell.
“How many times has that happened?” my sister came to my side.
“That was the first. I haven’t really talked to him since Talon Grove,” I explained as she handed me a napkin from the coffee table. I wiped the tears and crumpled the napkin into my fist. “I didn’t expect it to hurt so bad,” I cried. My sister pulled me into her arms.
“And you said I was getting sappy,” she laughed. I tried to laugh, but more
tears came out. I apologized, but she stopped me. “You can have whatever emotions you want.”
“Yeah, but I was angry earlier, and now look at me,” I wiped my face again. I pulled the blanket up closer to my chest and nestled into the cushion. “There’s always something going on, something I can’t control.”
“Then don’t even try to control stuff. Just let things be,” Charlotte told.
“I really like how you remind me of mom just when I need her,” I said the words before thinking through them. We both sat there and sighed. “Will you stay here today?” I asked her.
Without hesitation, she said, “Yes.”
“A peace offering,” my aunt spoke as she came to the counter of the bookstore. It had been three days since I spoke with Elliot, and each night I had dreamed of him.
“What is that?” I asked her, dropping the crystal in my hand as I rushed around to see her face to face.
“The muffin you wanted,” her eyes studied me. “And, no. It wasn’t your mother’s recipe,” she read my mind.
“What is it?” I begged, sniffing the item against my nose like I had never smelled something so heavenly. She set her bag down and leaned over the counter. “It’s something I know, but I don’t.”
“Just enjoy it,” she told me. “It wasn’t easy getting those berries.”
I went to the chair by the window and breathed in the muffin again. “Oh,” I moaned. I took the wrapper down and pulled a chunk of the bread off into my fingers and the berry scent hit the air. “They’re so bright, and… and… smooth.”
“They should be,” my aunt was repositioning the gemstones on the upper shelf of the display case. “Erik brought them all the way from Talon Grove. From a friend of his.”
“Do they grow there?” I asked as I stared over the chunk. I wasn’t sure if I should taste the treat or just hold it there for my eyes to feast upon. “They must be wild. Must be,” I mumbled.
“I don’t know,” she yelled as she went into the backroom to gather more gems. “I think he purchases things when he travels around. They might even be from Skye Sorn.”
My brow raised as I thought about all the wonderful things that existed in the other realms. I couldn’t wait to go back out into the universe and see more of the diverse places I never knew were real. The floating mountains, the cliff… these thoughts swirled around my mind as I placed the muffin chunk on my tongue. The moor. I gasped, jumping up as I nearly choked on the food.
“Pomefuce,” my dry mouth spat. After a swallow, I cleared, “Pomelucents.”
Staring at me with her hands full of sparkling stones, my aunt cocked her head and asked, “What?”
“This is made from pomelucents,” I went straight to her. “I ate them at the bakery in Frostmoor.” I stood there and pulled the bread apart as I sniffed up the sweet smell. “I must be wanting them because I want,” and here I stopped talking. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to admit to myself—and to my aunt—that I was craving Elliot. Because it wasn’t just love, and it wasn’t that I simply missed him. No, I was completely—with my entire body—craving that man like he was water in a desert. I couldn’t deny it. But saying it out loud, and in such a clear and straightforward manner… well, there was no turning back.
My aunt set her stones on the counter and then placed her hand on my shoulder. “We all know that you miss him. It’s okay to feel alone. But be honest with yourself. Embrace it.”
“I want him,” I almost whispered. “I can’t do anything but think about him,” I swallowed the remaining crumbs that stuck to my tongue. “In my dreams… in the daytime… he’s every single thing I do.”
“That’s okay,” she comforted. “You’re bound together by a force that is greater than you both. You’ll always want him near. And that’s a good thing, Irene. He’s a good man.”
I nodded again. And then I ate more of the muffin. “Do you have more?” I asked her as crumbs fell to the carpet.
“I do,” she smiled. “I’ll save them for you.”
“Thanks,” I said as she turned to put away the stones.
It was easy to dream about Elliot that night. The aromatic pomelucents still on my tongue, the idea that I should enjoy whatever it is that keeps me happy… he appeared while I was still on the cusp of falling asleep.
“I missed you,” I told the man as he stood at the foot of my bed. Taking off his shirt, he crawled over me and kissed my neck. “I wish I could lay here all the time. I’d never see anyone again. I’d starve to death,” I laughed. My words grew more and more quiet as I let my eyes close. I could feel his hands on my skin, his lips as they tasted mine, and I could smell that perfectly crisp scent of winter in his smooth locks. It was only a dream, but I didn’t care. I had Elliot in my hands, and he was all mine. No other duties or travels, no one coming in the room to warn us about some great cataclysm that just couldn’t wait. The Lord of Frostmoor belonged solely to me.
I wondered if the real Lord had dreamed of me at all. Maybe it wasn’t like the dreams I was having, but he might have dreamed of me at least once. Maybe after he visited me?
“Why don’t you speak?” I asked the man in my bed. He leaned over and let the edge of his lip curl upward. Then he proceeded to kiss my inner arm from my wrist to my elbow. It made me giggle. “I want to talk to you,” I whined. “I want to hear your voice in my ear,” I ran my fingers through his hair and made him face me. “Say something.”
Lowering his head, the man leaned back into the pillow. I curled up at his side and let him pull me close. The room was perfect then. My bed was aglow in shades of pink while the rest of the apartment sat in a dimmed golden hue. Staring over the furniture, my eyes landed on my phone, which was currently lighting up. I felt my brow crinkle. I didn’t want to speak to anyone because I knew it would pull me from my dream. I was warm, safe. Again, the phone lit up.
The man’s bright blue eyes scanned me for a second. I shook my head and began to reach over to the nightstand when I woke. The plush pillow between my arms, the sunlight hitting my face—I was alone once more. My phone, flashing a picture of Lydia, vibrated against my water glass. I grabbed it up and answered.
“I’ve been calling all morning,” Lydia sounded out of breath.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been sleeping in lately.”
“Meet me for a coffee,” she insisted. “I have some girl talk to catch up on,” she laughed.
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon,” I agreed. I got to the edge of the bed and stretched, and then I saw him.
“You dreamed of me again,” Elliot spoke, and even though the sight of him—his true self—wasn’t what I wanted right then, his voice was melodic enough to make me listless.
I released the air in my lungs in a shuddered, lengthy breath. “I can’t control it,” I repined. “Don’t be angry.” I went toward him as he stepped from the counter and neared me.
“I can’t be angry with you,” he lulled as he ran his fingers through my bangs. I stared up to him like a helpless woman encapsulated in the arms of a man from some old film. “You’re right to think that I’m avoiding you. I don’t know what I’d do if I hurt you.”
“You won’t ever hurt me, I know it,” I reached up and held his wrists as he held my face. “I haven’t always trusted you, but I have no doubts now.”
Elliot kissed my lips slowly and then growled, “Oh, I wish I could stay.” I watched his body begin to phase in and out. When he leaned back from me, he had that same curious glare from before. “You can’t hear that?”
“What does it sound like?”
“Like, a drum,” he paused. And then his eyes narrowed over me. I watched his sharp focus travel around my body like he was drawing an outline. “Irene,” his voice was cautious. His body had again solidified in my realm. “These dreams you’re having, what are they like?” I pressed my lips together before chewing on the inside of my cheek. I could feel my face warm as Elliot sighed.
“What’s wrong?”
Elliot lowered
his head. “Have you also been… seeing me? Unexpectedly?”
How did you know? “Is that how I’m pulling your energy?” I stepped back and put my hands on my hips. “Am I hurting you?”
“No,” he sort of giggled, and the thickness in his voice gave me chills. “I’m weaker in the mornings, that’s all.” I watched his form begin to phase out again. “Please, Irene,” he paused as a bright smile came over his face. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen him so happy. “Take care of yourself, you must be very cautious right now,” he told as he glanced over my body again. “I’ll visit you next week.”
I stood there feeling his warmth in the air for minutes afterward. Next week. My week or your week? I wondered. I exhaled a long and loud breath, and then I grabbed my phone to read a text from Lydia: Coming? I told her I was on my way, and then I got dressed.
Down the street, I could hear little birds as they chirped high in the sky over my head. The day had started off bold and warm, but now clouds had taken over. The grayish atmosphere not only made me feel more isolated from reality, but it also carried a brisk wind. The world as I knew it was finally finding balance from Charlotte’s new nature. Spring was here, even as winter tried to reclaim what it had lost.
“Irene!” Lydia rushed up to me from her car. “I missed you,” she told as we hugged.
“So, how was Antauk?” I teased. Her face grew flush as she tried to hide her overwhelming happiness. “That good, huh?”
She let out a breath. “Really good.” Together we walked into the coffee shop and stared over the menu board like we hadn’t already seen it a hundred times. There never was a strange silence between Lydia and me, at least not on an average day. We could stand there in each other’s company and not say a single word for minutes on end. When the barista asked us what we wanted, we both chose the white mocha, like we always had.
“I missed this,” I said as I slurped up some whipped cream. “I needed this.”
“Same here,” she copied. “This place better always be here. Their coffee is amazing,” we both laughed.
I swirled more whipped cream onto the tip of the straw. Taking it to my mouth, my eyes flicked up to the window, and there was Elliot. I jolted momentarily as Lydia’s brow lifted.
Witherstone- Wings of My Legion Page 4
