First Love, Second Chance: A Secret Child Romance

by Vesper Young

I hadn’t known that. I’d imagined he was so taken by being around people like him, who loved computers and all the techy stuff I never fully understood that he’d be in paradise. “What stopped you?”

  He looked embarrassed. That was new.

  “What?” I prodded.

  “I didn’t want to tell you I’d quit. I wanted to prove I could make it. But proving I could work a job and give up you was a waste. None of it was worth it.”

  “You can’t be serious. Your startup sold for ten figures, for Pete’s sake.”

  “Wasn’t worth it.” His words left no room for argument.

  I sighed, doubting he really meant it. Words like that were easy. The reality was he couldn’t have had that career, that path, in our college town and he was better off for having done it even if he was having temporary regrets. We were having fun right now. And he’d probably denied himself a bit of fun, keeping his nose to the grindstone. But the fun was temporary. It had to end and we had to get back to reality.

  “You’re gonna open the bar today, right?” I asked, changing the subject.

  Lucas glanced outside. “No reason not to. Roads are clear now.” They hadn’t been fully paved this morning, so we’d walked to the rink and coffee shop. I had, however, made him move to a legal spot. Though Lucas had been content to let the parking tickets pile up, he’d complied. “Why? You want to keep me all to yourself?”

  “You wish.” I did wish. “I’m working tonight.”

  “You are?”

  “I’ll be waitressing. I’m covering for Amelia.”

  Lucas still had a puzzled expression. He’d always been good at noticing patterns, and worse, puzzling out why they deviated from the norm. I could practically see the question in neon lights above his head, Why is this weekend different?

  “She had a hot date and begged me to fill in for her,” I told him quickly. It was true, but skirting the edge of deception. Although Amelia did, in fact, have a date, several people would’ve been happy to take the Saturday shift. She let me cover since I didn’t get to work many weekends and I’d told her my parents would have Ryan.

  My body rebelled against the lie (even if it technically wasn’t one). Deceiving Lucas was something had I never wanted to do.

  “One of these days, I’m going to make you guys formalize these shift trades,” he said in a mock-serious way that let me know he was kidding. “There goes my plan of playing hooky. Unless I could beg you to get someone else to take your shift and we don’t go near the Rattler.”

  I grinned. “Not a chance. My boss is a hardass about skipping shifts.”

  13. Lucas

  I walked Kara back to her place after we finished our drinks since my car was still by her building. And because I wasn’t ready to let her go. Chivalrous as I was, I made sure to help her out of the tight sweater, just like I had in college. And her bra. And her sinfully tight leggings that she’d apparently worn without panties.

  I made the executive decision that it was alright if she was late to her shift. I also decided it was fine if we didn’t go, though Kara wasn’t on board with that.

  She rolled back out of bed, walking over to her wardrobe to dress.

  “Skip,” I told her. I didn’t want her to go. I was terrified the moment I let her out of my sight she’d revert back to the Kara who kept her feelings walled off. I already knew she wouldn’t ditch, but I was glad to see she was at least considering, based on the long up-and-down look she gave me.

  “Stop tempting me. You’re a bad influence,” she complained.

  She was back in her standard uniform, black skinny jeans, and a fitted tee, hair back in a tight bun instead of her usual ponytail. I wanted to run my hands through and let the tendrils down.

  “Ready to go?” I asked.

  She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Yeah, I need to head out. The buses will probably be running late, but I can’t chance it.”

  “Bus?” I asked. “I’ll drive us.”

  “But,” she said. I waited for the rest of the protest that didn’t come.

  “But what?”

  “You’re wearing the same clothes you wore yesterday,” she protested.

  “And? I have a change of clothes stashed at the office.” My habit of putting in too many hours had often led to a few overnights back when I’d been working out west. As a precaution, I always kept a spare set or two in my desk. “No one will notice.”

  “They’ll notice when we arrive together!”

  That got my attention. “Do you not want people to know?”

  “Of course not! You’re my boss.”

  She started to head out. I caught up to her easily in the elevator.

  “So? It’s not like you’re sleeping with me to get ahead or some shit. We’re two people who like each other and spent the night.” And ideally, would be spending several more nights. “Who cares?”

  The door pinged and when she went into the elevator I followed.

  “Look, Lucas, yeah, we slept together. It doesn’t mean I want to advertise it.”

  I rolled my eyes. God, she could exasperate me like no one else. “I’m offering to give you a ride, not suggesting we tattoo each other’s names on our foreheads.”

  We made it through the lobby. Kara started walking towards the bus stop. “I’ll drop you off a block away, if that’s what you want,” I told her. It rankled that she acted like being seen with me was as good as making her a social pariah. “Why are you being so stubborn?”

  She whirled on me. “Why are you being so stubborn? This was a fling so we could get it out of our system. You don’t need to give me rides or anything else.”

  A fling? She thought this was a fling?

  I closed the space between us in a step. Her face was inches from mine and I closed the distance. The kiss was a little angry and a lot intense. Kara instantly responded, reaching her arms over my shoulders while I wrapped mine around her. The cold air may have moved around us, but between us, there was nothing but blistering heat.

  I was the one to end the kiss. When she opened her eyes, she looked a little dazed, much to my satisfaction.

  “Baby, that’s no fling.”

  She looked away. Her cheeks were red enough to match her coat, and her chest was rising and falling. She felt the same intense pull I did, and it went a lot deeper than just attraction.

  “Flings can be good. It doesn’t prove anything.” Her voice was husky and I wanted to grab her close and kiss her senseless again until she admitted this wasn’t just a fling.

  “Do you have many flings to compare to?” My mind rebelled at the thought of her with other guys. Ten years was a long time, yet what we had was worlds apart from anything she could have with someone else. The blistering jealousy I felt wasn’t soothed by my confidence.

  She looked away. She couldn’t argue the point.

  “Kara, if these years have been anything like what they’ve been for me, you’ve tried to convince yourself that it was a fling. That it couldn’t be that good. That there’s someone else who can make you feel a fraction of what you feel when we’re together.”

  I leaned in and lifted her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye. “Tough luck. We’re it and you’re going to be hard-pressed to forget that any time soon.”

  I glanced at the fading tail lights in the distance. “And you missed your bus. Looks like you’re riding with me.”

  “You tricked me!” Her voice was as indignant as I ever heard it.

  I smirked. It really hadn’t been intentional to make her miss her transport, but I wasn’t upset about it. “Not my fault you were too distracted. I can’t believe you’d put a measly fling above getting a ride to work.” I tsked at her, just to rile her up.

  She marched past me towards where my car is parked. She tried the door, which was locked until I came within six feet. I held open the door, trying not to laugh at her annoyance.

  When I got in, she turned to me.

  “Listen up. You’re going to drop me
off, out of sight of the bar. You’re going to drive around the block, or even better yet, several blocks, at least three times. When you come in, you’re not going to smile or smirk at me or anything else and instead you go straight to your office and change into different clothes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “And we’re going to pretend like this never, ever happened.”

  “No, ma’am. I’m gonna have to nix that one.”

  She heaved an exasperated sigh. “Can you give me one night?”

  “Fine. One night,” I agreed. “But don’t delude yourself into thinking you’ll be able to act like this didn’t happen.”

  She muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like “Watch me.” That was the trouble. I’d be watching her all night, aching for her, and her determination to pretend it wasn’t mutual was killing me a slow, painful death.

  14. Kara

  The tail lights of his car disappeared around the corner. I counted to five before walking towards the bar. Of course, he thinks he knows better. He just didn’t get it.

  Then again, how could he? I barely understood my own reasons. Spending too much time with him created a fog in my brain that intoxicated me and convinced me spending even more time with him was the solution. Like how taking one shot of vodka convinces you shot number two would be even more fun.

  I walked in. So far, so good. Not too busy. I said hello to a few of the other waitresses on duty, getting a lay of the land. Ethan was behind the bar with another bartender, Joe. I went to check in and see what tables I was on. That was my next problem. I hadn’t had to learn the new computer system beyond punching in until now. I stood at the screen for almost two minutes, trying to make sense of the system. I hated to interrupt someone and ask for help.

  “Trouble?” a deep voice asked behind my ear.

  I startled, all thoughts of the computer conundrum fleeing. Lucas was behind me, and close. Was he too close or was this how close a computer guy would stand to see the screen? I wasn’t sure anymore. My traitorous body thought he wasn’t close enough. I fought the urge to lean back into him.

  “Yeah. Can’t get the computer to accept me.” I hated that my voice came out a lot shakier than it should’ve.

  Lucas nodded. He took in the screen, then reached over me to punch a few things in. In short order, my name was added to the roster for tables.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled and moved away before I did something stupid. Stupid Kara had gotten her day in charge. It was time for Responsible Kara to take over. Which meant not grabbing Lucas and shutting us in the nearest closet.

  I got my first table’s drink order and went over to the bar to get it filled. Ethan was manning the drink station, so I handed him the paper.

  “Where’s Amelia?” he asked, taking the paper without looking at it.

  “I’m covering her shift,” I explained. I didn’t tell him it was because she had a date, but from his immediate frown, the fact she wasn’t here already blackened his mood. Ethan had it bad for my friend. And Amelia was about as easy to tie down as wind. Meaning, you’d be nuts to even try.

  Saturdays were crazy busy, so I didn’t have much time to think. That was good. I fully assumed my customer service persona, cheerfully taking orders and maneuvering around the busy bar. Drinks and appetizers flowed freely, and for a rare change of pace, no one got so smashed that we had to intervene. There was an energy of general goodwill and cheer that made my smile a bit less fake. Keeping busy kept my mind off Lucas. With the room this crowded, he didn’t claim his usual booth for his laptop. At one point I caught him sitting at the bar, chatting with Joe and Ethan. The staff had warmed up to Lucas. Despite starting as a complete outsider, he was quickly becoming one of “us.”

  Maybe I’d been too quick to assume his desire to come in and fix everything would chafe at people. He was sincere in his efforts, and he had done a good job so far. Schedules were posted two weeks in advance; paychecks came through promptly. Little hiccups we’d gotten used to from Samson had been smoothed over. In college, Lucas would’ve been one of the last people I’d have picked to run a bar. Now, he was driven and hardworking, and despite his primary focus on computers, he’d proven he could pivot when he needed to.

  As the night went on, I caught myself more and more glancing around for him. Now and again, he went to the back for an hour or so. I was developing a sixth sense for his presence. More than once I caught him watching me. Maybe because I kept seeking him out with my eyes.

  He respected my wishes and kept his distance. When I went to the bar to pick up a round of drinks, he didn’t talk to me. He didn’t reach out and run his fingers down my arms in the way that made me shiver. He wasn’t being excessively cold. He was giving me my space. Just like I wanted. Then why was I tempted to brush past him whenever I made my way past him?

  I was working until closing, so I got to watch as the crowds thinned. There were about a half dozen people split between two booths and a small handful at the bar. At one point, I lingered by the bar, a few seats over from where Lucas currently sat.

  He was so close. I was antsy, fiddling with the hem of my shirt and shifting my weight from foot to foot.

  “Kara, you chilly?” Joe asked.

  Joe was the third main bartender who worked at the Rattler. He was older than most of us, in his early forties. He was quick with a smile and a joke. He was good to work with.

  I made a conscious effort to stop moving around. “Nah, I’m good.”

  He gave me an understanding nod. “Well, listen, if you keep shivering, you’re gonna have to head to the corner.”

  I gave him a curious look. From the corner of my eye, I could tell Lucas was equally confused.

  “It’ll warm you right up,” he assured me. “Corners are ninety degrees.”

  I laughed out loud at that. “That’s a good one,” I told him. “I’ll have to tell… um, Amelia.” Crap. I’d been about to say Ryan.

  Joe looked a bit crestfallen. “You can’t repeat a joke like that at work. It’ll lose its pizzazz.”

  I solemnly agreed to keep it secret from anyone we worked with. “Is it alright if I tell my friend Mindy?”

  Joe nodded with equal seriousness before breaking out into a big grin. I may not have loved working in a bar, as Lucas had pointed out, but I did like the people the Rattler attracted.

  The bar continued to empty out, and when the last patron had left, people were quick to follow. Lucas, I noticed, was in no rush to leave. And somehow my feet weren’t hurrying to the bus stop either. Before long we were alone in the empty room.

  Lucas leaned against the countertop. He looked incredibly sexy. His eyes were slightly hooded, his long lashes on full display. His hair was mussed up like he’d constantly been running his fingers through it. His arms were bent back, propping him up. How did he manage to make leaning look sexy?

  Normally after a long shift like tonight’s I’d be beat, especially since I’d been running around all night. Now, energy thrummed through me. It concentrated low in my abdomen and made it impossible to look at anything except Lucas. I’d fought that rising sensation all night and by all accounts, I was losing.

  “So?” he said.

  “So?” I parroted, not sure what he meant.

  “So how was pretending I didn’t exist? I mean, you weren’t very good at it, what with your eye-fucking me all night, but you made a real effort.”

  “I was not,” I protested. I’d meant for my words to come out strong and irritable. Instead, I sounded like the kid denying his hand was in the cookie jar.

  He clicked his tongue. “Deny, deny, deny, Kara. What’s the point when we both know you were dying to get your hands on me?” He eased off the countertop and closed the distance between us. A second later he was standing right in front of me. He reached and ran his hands across my shoulders. God, how I wanted to lean into his arms. There was no way to hide my reaction to his touch.

  He peered down at me. His tone wa
s teasing, but his eyes asked a question. What did I want?

  It was so easy to answer. I wanted him. Badly. More than anything.

  No one was here. Ryan wasn’t at home waiting.

  “Okay,” I said. “One more time. But then we put this whole thing behind us.”

  “Still convinced you can get me out of your system that easily.” Lucas didn’t sound like he thought there was even the slightest possibility I could.

  But I had to. Lucas was a drug and I was an addict bargaining for just another hit. Just one more night, and that would be enough. I knew it was a lie even as I thought it to myself. Just one more was never enough with Lucas.

  “Just tonight,” I said anyway. “I’ll be yours for tonight and then we go back to boss and bartender.”

  The look Lucas gave me said he didn’t agree to that at all. But he didn’t argue. In a low voice, he said, “If all you’re giving me is one more night, then I’m not wasting another minute in this fucking bar.”

  Moments later we were in his car. I realized he wasn’t heading in the direction of my place. A thrill of excitement hit me at the thought of seeing his place. I tried to clamp down on it and told myself I was so keyed up that my emotions were heightened. It definitely wasn’t that I wanted to snoop on Lucas and check out his place.

  He pulled up at an apartment building. On the outside, it didn’t appear too showy, but a glance at the lobby said we were living very different lifestyles.

  I knew that. I knew things were different. But tonight, I could pretend that none of it mattered.

  It felt like it took forever to get to his apartment. Lucas flickered on the lights to his place, and I tried to take everything in all at once. His place was spacious. Mostly empty, which I guess made sense if he’d just moved. A large TV was mounted on one side, leaving the rest of the walls bare. The place barely looked lived in.

  Lucas sighed dramatically. “I can tell you’re about three seconds from pulling out an Ikea catalog and giving me an itemized list of throw pillows to add for coziness.”

  Ha. “No, I’m just wondering if you bothered to buy a bed since you’re clearly such an ascetic,” I teased.