The Winter Games

by Sharp, Dr. Rebecca

  “There’s every need. Every. Fucking. Need.”

  Unlocking the door, I kicked it open and carried her over the threshold, almost stumbling as the oddest feeling overwhelmed me. I’d never been there before, yet somehow, I felt like I knew the place. Sure, it looked like it had been designed by that Joanna-goddamn-Gaines on HGTV that Sophia was always watching while Lila napped. It was simple and neat and warm. Not temperature-wise. No, it was warm and welcoming. It felt like a safe place, a place where things like happiness decorated the couch as perfectly as the pillows and love hung in the air as surely as the photos of her friends and family hung on the walls.

  It felt like home.

  Something that neither the guest house and definitely not the main house had felt like for a long time. The only thing that came close was anytime I was with Lila.

  My arms tightened over my softly breathing cargo. Maybe it wasn’t this place at all that made me feel like this. Maybe it was only because of her.

  “You can just set me on the couch, Nick. Please…” Her groggy words pulled me from my treacherous thoughts as she sighed against me.

  Yeah, and the way she sounded like she was already sleeping meant that she would lay cramped on the couch all night. No. Not fucking happening.

  Ignoring her plea and my body’s response to how warm and soft she felt against me, I pushed open the door to her bedroom, reluctantly depositing her gently onto her bed. Stepping back, the full weight of my arousal hit me like a head-on collision.

  Like a fucking perv, I stood there and watched as she breathed softly in sleep. Every blink brought back flashes of her standing naked in front of me, expecting me to fuck her. God, I wished I could say that I didn’t go to bed every night regretting my decision to be a better man.

  My dick throbbed in my pants, begging me to be that Frost—begging me to take what I knew I shouldn’t have.

  And the whole messed up fucking part of it all was that I knew from the second that I’d picked her up and she’d immediately curled into my chest that she wanted it too. I knew that I could crawl next to her right now and she would mewl and moan at my touch, whimpering like a broken record until my cock was buried inside of her.

  She was so goddamn beautiful. And my resolve weakened every second that I spent around her.

  Crouching down, I pulled up the soft yellow blanket that sat neatly folded at the bottom of the bed and gently laid it over her shoulders. And then before I could stop myself, I reached for the tie at the end of her braid and removed it. I wasn’t touching her, I told myself as my fingers unwound the silken, chestnut waves, freeing them from their bind.

  I wasn’t touching her… until I was.

  Brushing the strands off of her face, my finger barely grazed over her cheek and my dick almost punched through my jeans when she moaned softly and turned her face into the cocoon of my palm, seeking shelter.

  “Thank you,” she whispered against the inside of my hand.

  Fuck.

  And then I felt it. Her lips pushing against my skin. The softest kiss that I swear I could feel all the way down to the tip of my dick. Fucking torture. I groaned and threw my head back as I almost came.

  I really should fuck someone. Soon.

  I might be a cold asshole, but even I couldn’t stand having blue balls for this long.

  “Just feel better and don’t pull this shit again, Priss,” I tried to growl even though it came out as a rasped plea. Pulling back my hand from where her lips had branded it, I tucked her into the blanket like I did with my daughter almost every night.

  Frustrated with how much I desired her, I stalked out of Tammy’s apartment, locking the door behind me and locking myself out.

  Tamsin Lucas was going to kill me with her strength, her self-sacrifice, and her beauty if I kept putting myself in these moments with her.

  Looked like I had a fucking death wish.

  I STOOD IN THE DOORWAY, watching in silence, wondering how long I had before one of them noticed me and their moment was broken. Tammy and Lila were rolling on the floor laughing. My baby girl had tears running down her face, her hair matted in the dampness. Tammy clutched her stomach like she was in pain, but the huge smile on her face told me otherwise.

  I wondered if I’d ever seen anything so beautiful before.

  I shouldn’t enjoy this sight so much; it wasn’t going to last.

  Clearing my throat, I saw the laughter die—happiness let out of the room like a balloon losing air.

  “Daddy!” Lila giggled, pulling herself up from where she’d been sprawled on the floor.

  Putting on my best stern face, I asked, “Are you learning something in here or just playing?”

  Her face scrunched as she thought for a second before answering with a grin, “Learning.”

  “I’m sure,” I replied with a wink, my stomach tightening when her smile grew.

  Finally, I slid my gaze over to Miss Priss who stood and was rearranging her latest fashion attempt at drab—not that her bland sense of style minimized any effect that she had on my dick. No, that would have been fucking fantastic if it had.

  After last Friday, I’d made sure that there was a better chance of getting blood from a stone than a nice word out of my mouth to Tammy. At least she was looking a lot better this week. Even though her cheeks were flushed from laughing, there was still a weighty weariness lingering beneath the surface.

  All week I’d watched to make sure she wasn’t overdoing it. The way she was Monday through Wednesday, I figured whatever bug she had or whatever was going on, she’d gotten over it over the weekend. Then Thursday rolled around and there was that blanket of exhaustion that seemed to creep over her.

  I noticed the tread of her footsteps on the staircase were heavier. I noticed how she didn’t pick Lila up for a hug, instead just bending down when my daughter ran to greet her.

  I also noticed the way her breath always caught if I brushed her by accident. I noticed the way that her eyes always fell slightly when I looked at her, as though she were embarrassed to be seen by me. I noticed the way there was a slight blush that tainted her cheeks when I was around. And if her clothes weren’t so damn loose, I’d notice the way her tits hardened at the sight of me just like my dick did for her.

  They were tiny fucking things—but I noticed them all.

  But it was the bone-deep exhaustion that I watched her fight through like she was trying to climb out of quicksand that made the blood in my veins go cold. My fingers itched yesterday to email the PI that King had recommended, Jackson Pyle, and tell him to forget Eliza Blackman and keep an eye on Tammy instead to figure out just what the hell she was doing that was slowly killing her.

  “Alright, Miss Lila,” she murmured, bending over to smooth down Lila’s hurricane-hair. “It’s time for me to go.”

  I wished I got that look when I went to leave. Lila having to say goodbye to Tammy at the end of every day—worse at the end of the week—was like I was telling her that I was going to burn all of her toys and that she could never have another popsicle again.

  My daughter crashed into me and my heart stopped. Hell, the whole fucking world stopped.

  She had one arm wrapped around my legs.

  It wasn’t a hug, but fuck if it wasn’t the closest she’d ever come. Looking up at me with huge beach-ball-sized tears in her eyes, she tugged on the edge of my tee saying, “Daddy, can Mammy puh-leaseee stay for our movie night? She’s never seen” —her lip quivered so hard I thought it might fall off—“Finding Dory.”

  I would sooner have been able to rip my heart out than say no to Lila right now.

  Putting my hand on her head and gently running my fingers through her hair, I looked up to stare hard at Tammy. I didn’t care if I had to lock myself in the goddamn closet all night for her to feel comfortable doing this, but I needed her to stay. I needed her to say okay because this was the closest to a physical show of affection I’d ever received from my daughter and I’d move the heavens to show he
r what it meant.

  Lila never looked at me—touched me—like this. Whatever Tammy was doing was helping her—healing her. And I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t jealous.

  “What do you say, Priss?” I asked tightly, my whole body fucking fearing the worst. “Would you be able to stay for our pizza and movie night?”

  My dick tightened as that perfect mouth of hers opened and closed a few times trying to work out the words. She wasn’t expecting an invitation, not after the way I’d been brushing her off.

  And then Lila was gone again, locking her arms around Tammy’s legs like she was physically going to stop her from leaving.

  “Please, Mammy. Please stay!” she begged even harder now. “Daddy gets really good pizza and then we sit on the couch and watch the movie on his big TV. And if I’m good, then I get a popsicle.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, watching the color in Tammy’s cheeks deepen as she looked down at Lila.

  “Maybe he’ll even give you a popsicle, too!” she exclaimed, and I let out a soft groan as Tammy looked like she was about to keel over again, her eyes widening as they jerked to mine. A split second later, they were gone, and she was pretending that we both hadn’t thought the popsicle could be something else.

  “I can stay,” Tammy answered softly, her green eyes coming back up to mine. “If your dad is sure that it’s okay…”

  Even if it wasn’t, Lila’s excited squeal wouldn’t have given me the chance to change my mind. Grabbing her stuffed Dory, she did a victory lap around the room before tearing down the hall.

  “Sorry about that,” I murmured as we walked out of the room, Lila skipping excitedly in front of us.

  “I-It’s fine. I didn’t really have any plans…” She held her arms tight across herself as we made our way to the main stairs.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  She froze mid-step and every ounce of color that had come into her face in the past few minutes disappeared like snow underneath the sun. “W-what do you mean?”

  “You look tired as shit again, Tammy,” I growled. “What the hell is going on?”

  She shook her head and began walking ahead of me again. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

  I reached for her arm, pulling her to a stop. “You’re not fucking fine and as long as you work for me and in the presence of my daughter, I have a right to know if you are sick.”

  It was a stretch. A long stretch. Mostly because Tammy wouldn’t show up within two miles of here if she thought she had something contagious or dangerous to Lila.

  I could see it in her eyes. She wanted to stay in control and placate me. But she was just too tired.

  “I-I wasn’t feeling well in the middle of last week,” she began hesitantly. “So, I went to the doctor to make sure that whatever I had wasn’t something I had to worry about being here or at the daycare with. It’s not. But my doctor did also give me some medicine to take, but it looks like the medicine puts me a little out of it.”

  “Well, you should stop taking it.”

  “No. I want to get better,” she insisted, taking a deep breath and adding softly, “I need to get better.”

  She pulled her arm from mine, holding it back just like she was holding back the truth.

  “Maybe I can call and see if there is something different that they can give me,” she mumbled, finding enough energy to practically run down the stairs after Lila and away from me.

  “What are you taking now?” I called after her like it was any of my fucking business.

  “Nicholas!” My whole body tensed at Jane’s voice.

  Tammy stopped too, I noticed as I turned to face my mother.

  “Yes, Jane,” I bit out stoically.

  She was all flustered which could only mean one thing. And it wasn’t going to be good. “I just want you to know that Stone will be back next weekend to have a discussion with you about Eliza and your deplorable behavior toward her.”

  She was trying to scold me except she didn’t have a strong bone in her body; probably why she could never stand up to Stone—if she even wanted to.

  “I’m sure it felt good to throw your son under the bus,” I shot mercilessly at her. It usually wasn’t her style; she preferred to just look the other way when Stone plucked one more reason out of thin air to be pissed at me.

  “I didn—” She broke off and looked away like she wanted to say more but knew it wouldn’t make a difference.

  Interesting.

  If she hadn’t told Stone, then that could only mean that Eliza had. And how did Eliza know Stone?

  My mood darkened further wondering if there was something more going on, but I shook off the thought. They probably had a nice big family fucking dinner together. Misery loves company and they were all fucking miserable.

  “Well, I’m sure he and I will have an enlightening conversation when he does get here,” I snarled.

  Spinning back to face Tammy, I grabbed her arm and pulled her with me, my feet drilling into the ground with every step I took away from my mother and toward the guest house.

  Maybe I would tell Jackson to search for any link between Stone and Eliza; I knew her coming here wasn’t a fucking coincidence.

  “Nick!” Tammy exclaimed as we made it outside. The door to the guest house was cracked open so I knew Lila was already inside. “You can let go now.”

  Startled, I stopped and jerked my grip open. “Sorry.”

  “Nick, what’s going on? Who’s Stone?” Tammy asked. “Are you okay?”

  Everyone. She worried about everyone. And with her whole goddamn heart.

  My stomach clenched. I wanted to hold her face so damn bad and kiss away every line of worry that crossed it. I wanted to kiss away all my worries, too. She was so good it was like she was the only thing good enough to drown out the bad.

  “Jane’s husband. She married him right after high school.” My voice sounded like I dragged it over gravel. I pushed open the door to the guest house and walked inside, spotting Lila already sitting on the couch playing with the iPad I kept here for her.

  “Who is Eliza? And why does it feel like the discussion isn’t really going to be a discussion?” she asked, following me inside.

  I spun and brought my face an inch from hers. “No more questions, Miss Priss.”

  I was harsh. But now, for her sake even more than my own, I didn’t want her knowing what went on in this house. Stone was a heartless bastard and I didn’t trust him not to take down anyone connected with me. And if that meant I had to be an asshole to her in order to protect her from this, I would.

  “Daddy! Order the pizza!” Lila screamed.

  “Lila,” Tammy scolded warmly. “We are right here. There’s no need to yell.”

  “Sorry,” she mumbled, bouncing her stuffed Dory on the couch cushions.

  “Do you want something to drink?” I asked, pausing in the doorway to the kitchen. “Let me rephrase. Do you want some water? That’s the only non-alcoholic thing I have.”

  She nodded. “That’s fine.”

  I disappeared into the kitchen to try and collect my rage, knowing that Stone was coming back soon. I hated the chill that ran down my spine. I wasn’t afraid of the fucker. I knew his arrival meant that I was going to get the shit kicked out of me—I knew that before Jane had stopped me. That’s just how my story went.

  After all these years, I knew that I could kill the man if I really wanted to—needed to. But he and Jane still controlled my life by an invisible thread. And that meant that if I didn’t play the role of his human punching bag, I would be in jail faster than fucking Dory could lose her memory and I’d probably never see Lila again.

  I’d take a thousand punches and a hundred cracked ribs if it meant keeping and protecting her. And for Tammy, I’d take a broken heart to keep her out of my chaos that would smother her light.

  “Why are her rooms in the main house?” I murmured softly as we all sat on the couch, Finding
Dory playing in the background.

  At Open Hearts, I would have been engrossed in the movie—for the children’s sake, of course. But here, I could barely focus on anything except Nick’s proximity.

  I swore I could smell the heat coming off of him, heady and dark, clogging my lungs with lustful smoke.

  He was radiating everything that lured me in—strength and pain, desire and restraint. It lured me because I was torn, too. I wanted to run my hands up underneath his shirt and feel his heartbeat again. I wanted to climb up onto his lap and will the clothes between us to disappear. I wanted to take him inside of my body and I wanted to lose myself.

  All horrible thoughts considering his daughter was sitting right next to him. But even without that, I wasn’t that type of girl. Something I’d always been proud of… until now.

  I thought he wasn’t going to answer me, but finally, I saw his lips move to respond.

  “Just easier that way. Especially when she was younger, I needed a lot of help from Sofia. And given what sometimes happens in this house, I figured it was better to keep Lila as far away from that as possible.” He paused and I saw his jaw muscle flex. “I wanted to move her into this house last year, but Jane went and redid Lila’s room. Lila almost had a meltdown when I suggested that she wouldn’t be sleeping in her new under-the-sea room anymore.”

  He didn’t have to say more. I’d seen enough of what went on between him and his mother to know that Jane Stone had redone the room on purpose to keep Lila in that house, in her domain, and away from her father.

  He wouldn’t tell me what was going on, but that didn’t stop the tears from threatening to spill over like boiling water left on high heat.

  I knew better. I, of all people, knew what was and wasn’t appropriate to ask especially when it was clear that the person I was conversing with didn’t want to talk about something. But with Nick, his answers were like a yawn and I couldn’t stop myself from reflexively yawning back—and asking for more.

  “Did you always hate your mom—I mean, Jane?”