Stone’s head whipped to Eliza whose face drifted back into her natural snarl.
“You disgusting pig. You think I let you do the things you did to me for nothing? How dare you think you can do that to me?” she sneered with rage.
“You ungrateful whore! How dare you speak to me like that!” Stone roared.
“Oh, it gets better,” I interjected. “You realized that he was a fucking broke piece of shit, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.” Now, Stone stared at me, anticipating what was next. “I wonder, does he know that you came to me and demanded the money before he had a chance to? Insisting that it be deposited into your account instead?”
“Why you fucking cunt!” Stone lunged for her and while I still wanted to strangle the bitch, no one was actually going to hurt her in my presence.
My fist cracked into his stomach the way I’d wanted to punch him for years now. Overweight and unhealthy, he collapsed onto his knees wheezing.
“Now then, where was I?” I said, cracking my knuckles. “Oh, right. Unfortunately for you, Eliza, I also have records and photos of you meeting with the owners of Cunninghaven. They recorded their conversations with you and were all too eager to hand them over when we threatened to report them for their unlawful business practices. So, like Mr. Stone here, I’m giving you two choices: you can go to jail where I can assure you, there are no nice things, or you can go back to wherever the fuck you went and forgot about us the first time, and do it again. Permanently.”
She gaped at me. “I don’t know… I have no…”
“I don’t owe you shit, but because I want you gone as fast as your deceitful and selfish feet can carry you, I will put fifty-thousand dollars in your bank account to help you start your new life. I suggest you learn how to use it wisely.”
Her mouth thinned, but she just nodded. “Is that it?”
“Almost.” I smiled triumphantly, handing her a folder. “You’re going to sign this form relinquishing all parental rights over Lila.”
With a vengeful glare, she yanked the folder from me and scribbled her name.
“The money should already be in your account. If you ever come back, if you ever come looking for my daughter or me, I will have you arrested.”
And then, like a bad fucking song that had been playing in the background of my life, it finally came to an end with the slam of the front door behind her.
“So, Jane,” I said quietly, finally looking back to her. “I believe I left you with a choice and I can’t remember which option you were about to choose.”
With a quivering lip, my mother spoke, “I want a divorce.”
“Jane, sweetheart. Please,” Stone rasped pleadingly, pulling himself to his feet.
I held my hand up and he froze in his tracks. “She made her decision. It’s done.” My voice was deadly flat and, like with most big confrontations, there was a minute of stare-down and angry resignation before he spun, the clicking of his obnoxious heels the last fucking thing I better ever hear from Levi Stone.
Honestly, I was doing him a favor by forcing him to have to sell those fucking bejeweled Barbie boots.
“Lila!” I yelled, running down the hallway to the playroom.
Sofia looked like she had a heart attack the way I threw open the door, but I’d have to apologize later.
“Daddy?” She stared at me with wide innocent eyes that I prayed would never know what had just happened downstairs and would never see the culprits involved.
“Put your shoes on, Princess,” I said breathing heavily. “We have to go.”
“Go where?” She walked over to me cautiously.
“To bring Tammy home.” I dropped to my knees in front of her, brushing her hair that only seemed to behave for Priss out of her face.
“Really?” she whispered. “Is she going to be my mommy?”
“God, I hope so, Princess,” I rasped, nodding to Sofia who handed me Lila’s shoes.
Her arms wrapped around my neck as I swung her into my arms. Turning to Sofia, I said, “If you could… go check on Jane,” I paused to clear my throat. “She’s pretty upset. And if Stone isn’t gone within the hour, call this number.” I handed her a piece of paper that had Jackson’s cell on it. He had his men combing through the guest house to make sure that Eliza didn’t leave anything in it and also to stay on the premises until Stone was good and gone.
As for my mother, there was nothing I could do for her now. She’d just realized the type of man that she’d married and it was something that she needed to come to terms with alone. It’s not like we’d ever been close anyway.
But for the first time—because of Tammy and her family—I began to see Jane Stone in a new light. Whereas I’d turned to drugs and alcohol after my dad’s death, she’d turned to Stone who’d taken advantage of her and her feelings and insecurities. It didn’t absolve her. But in life, it’s never one choice that changes your path; it’s a million small ones that slowly but surely lead you away from who you really are. I, of all people, knew that. I sure as shit wasn’t ready to forgive her yet, but if it was ever going to happen, this was going to be the way. One step at a time with Stone gone.
A few minutes later, I was strapping Lila into her car seat in the back of my truck as I reached for my cell.
Dialing Tammy, it rang and went to voicemail. I didn’t blame her after what she must think of me.
Jessa was next on the list as I pulled out of the drive, heading for Tammy’s apartment.
No answer. Voicemail.
I hung up with a muttered curse. I called her one more time, but still nothing.
My fingers flexed on the steering wheel as I tapped on Pride’s name.
One ring.
Two. Three.
Where the fuck was everyone?
“Frost.”
“What the he—what is going on? Where is everyone? I need to find Tammy and she’s not answering me which I get because I’m the biggest asshole on the planet, but Jessa isn’t answering me either. Do you know where either of them are?”
There was a beat of silence as tension seeped from the other end of the line, filling my stomach with dread.
“I’m with both of them,” my friend replied tightly, and I knew that he’d heard what I’d done to her.
“Look, Pride. It’s not what it looks like. I had to deal with some shit, and I couldn’t have Tammy there. I swear, I’m not that big of a fuck-up. Can I please talk to her?” I begged, not caring what the hell he thought about me right now as long as he put Tammy on the phone.
“No, you can’t.”
“What the hell do you mean ‘no’? I swear to God, Pride, I will—”
“Here’s Jessa. I’ll let you talk to her,” he said, cutting me off and then disappearing from the line.
“Hello?”
“Jessa, it’s Nick,” I huffed. “Look I’m sure you’ve heard what happened. I can explain and I will, but I need to explain it to her first, ok? The important thing is that I love her. I love her so damn much, please just put Tammy on the phone.”
“I can’t, Nick,” she said, and I realized that her voice sounded weary like she’d been up all night crying.
“Please, Jessa…” I pleaded, feeling tears pricking behind my eyes.
“Nick, I can’t let you talk to her because she’s in surgery.”
What the fuck? That’s not right.
“Her surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, not today,” I replied, like she must not know what she was talking about.
I heard her voice catch a sob before she spoke again. “We had to rush her to the hospital yesterday, Nick. There was a tumor—a cyst that burst. They’re doing emergency surgery right now.”
It was a good thing we were sitting at the longest red light in history because God only knew what kind of accident I could have caused at that moment when my heart came to a screeching halt and my vision went black.
“I’m on my way.” I hung up the phone, letting it fall onto the seat next
to me.
I glanced back at my daughter who was distracted with her iPad. The light turned green and I floored it like death itself was chasing us.
Rushed to the hospital.
Emergency surgery.
This was all my fault. I was crying now, and I didn’t fucking care. I didn’t care because it was all my fucking fault. I felt the beacon of calm slipping away from me and pulling me back down into the dark place that I’d fallen into after my dad died. The place where there was no light, where there was no hope or good or love in the world for me.
The place where there was no Tamsin Lucas.
EVERYONE WAS HERE.
Everyone was here for the only person who mattered.
I brushed off the million questions that Lila had asked me about where we were and why we were here; I didn’t know how to answer them.
After I hung up, Jessa texted me the floor number to come to. The entire waiting room was filled with everyone in Tammy’s life who loved her—everyone but me.
Her parents stood holding on to each other, James and Easton standing close by with looks too somber for their young faces. Jenny stood holding Eva’s hand. They were talking to Chance, Channing, and Wyatt. In the other corner were Tammy’s two other sisters, Ally, King, and Jessa; Tammy’s two youngest brothers sat on chairs directly next to them, looking at a book together.
And the second I walked into the room, all eyes swung to me and I felt the weight of each of their worried and heartbroken stares on me.
“Where’s Mammy?” Lila asked quietly into my neck.
Setting her down on her feet, I said, “Why don’t you go say hi to Lizzy and Kat? You remember them, don’t you? You can ask how Buttercup is doing.”
She walked off as I stood, letting Jessa approach me.
“What the hell happened?” I rasped with a voice that no longer sounded like my own.
She wiped her face which was makeup free and streaked with tears. Her arms crossed over her chest as she took a steadying breath.
“I brought her over to our place yesterday. She was pretty upset.” She bit her lip and her stare was superfluous to tell me that it was my fault. “I thought she didn’t seem well, but” —her lip quivered—“y-you know how she is. She said she just needed to lie down. T-the next thing I knew, she was standing at the top of the steps—she was white as a ghost, Nick. Like there was no life left to her.”
Her voice caught and she broke off to stifle a sob, knowing what any momentary breakdown would do to the rest of the group who looked like they were on the verge of the same thing.
I could feel my jaw muscles clenching all the way onto my scalp. All of my chaos was ready to explode and consume me in order to avoid this pain.
“S-she collapsed and started puking. So I called an ambulance and we came here.”
“And she’s just in surgery now?” I demanded harshly; that would have been hours ago.
“First they thought it was appendicitis. Then… then I don’t even remember. They just kept running tests and finally, this morning, they found that it was a cyst in her right ovary that ruptured. So, they’ve been prepping her for surgery to fix it… and take out the cancer at the same time.”
“Does she know?”
Jessa shook her head. “She’s been out of it. T-they put her on so many meds for the pain and everything. I-I called her parents as soon as we got here. They drove all night.” She choked up again, turning her face to the side now as Pride came up behind her and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him.
I wanted to punch him. I wanted to throttle him for being able to comfort her when I couldn’t hold Tammy—when I couldn’t tell the woman who only shared her weakness with me that everything was going to be okay.
“The doctor said that she should be fine. That everything should be okay. They just don’t know how extensive the damage or the cancer is,” she continued. “It’s just… I’ve never seen her like that. And I-I’m just so scared—”
Pride pulled her into his arms, holding her and letting her cry against his chest. I couldn’t stay there and look at them. Every breath felt like pieces of my heart were being ripped out with it.
As I stepped around them, Eva came up to me and pulled me into a hug and I almost fucking broke.
“I’m so sorry,” I said to her even though I was sure she had no idea what had happened between Tammy and me.
“She’s going to be okay, Nick,” she replied, pulling back and giving me a watery, weak smile. “You know Tamsin; she has too many people who need her to l-let anything happen.”
I could only nod, trying to pull a smile onto my face but failing miserably. I didn’t care what Jessa said—what the doctors said. All I could think was that I’d hurt her so badly that she’d had to be rushed to the hospital and into emergency surgery. I could have killed her.
I blinked and Eva was gone, replaced with Pride and King’s scowling faces.
“I fucked up big time,” I rasped. “And now, I can’t even apologize. I can’t even tell her—” I broke off and wiped my mouth with my hand.
“She’s going to be fine, Frost,” Emmett said, his hand gripping into my shoulder.
I stared out past them, too afraid to believe what he said.
“We’ve all fucked up, man. I mean… fuck… look what I did to Jessa and she forgave me,” Chance said, glancing over at the pink-haired woman who’d had his heart for almost as long as Tammy had held mine. “Hell, look what King did to my fucking sister.” Emmett glared at him even though the comment was somewhat lighthearted; everyone knew that King would die before he let anything happen to Ally. “Shit happens. Life happens. Sometimes, you make a mess of things and somehow, love picks it all up and puts it back together again better than it was before.”
All I wanted was to tell her that I was sorry, that I didn’t mean any of it.
And that I loved her.
“I know… I just should have been here. It’s my fault that she’s here. It’s my fault that—” I broke off as the door opened and Dr. Rohatgi, who I recognized from Tammy’s last appointment, and a nurse walked through.
When they say you could hear a pin drop, even that is not enough to describe the utter stillness that fell over the group. It was the kind of stillness where everyone could hear the blood cells pumping through their veins slowing to a stop while we all waited for the verdict.
“Miss Lucas is out of surgery,” Dr. Rohatgi began calmly. “She is doing well. Everything went very well.”
The relief was palpable. Jessa rushed over to Pride and began crying again. King reached for Ally and pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead. Everyone reached for the person that they loved and held them just a little tighter at the thought of how easily something so important could be lost.
Lila tugged on my shirt, so I reached down and lifted her back into my arms, not breaking my stare from the doctor.
“Is there a Nick here?” he asked.
My mouth opened and closed speechlessly for a moment as all eyes turned to me.
“Yes,” I said, clearing my throat. “I’m Nick.”
I half expected him to tell me that I wasn’t welcome and that I would need to leave immediately.
“She’s been asking for you as the sedation has been wearing off, if you’d like to come with us.”
I nodded, swallowing over the lump in my throat.
“Hey, Miss Lila,” Kat said softly, walking over to me. “Why don’t you stay with us for a little so your dad can talk to Tammy, okay?”
She held her arms out and Lila went willingly as she turned her head to me and said, “Daddy, don’t forget to tell her she feels like home.”
I shuddered as I leaned in and kissed her forehead. “I won’t.”
“I think him everything that is worthy and amiable.”
—Jane Austen, Sense & Sensibility
I FELT LIKE A DANDELION. One that someone had just blown into a million tiny, fragile floating pieces, painfully adri
ft in the space around me even as my mind tried to pull all of them back in—tried to put me back together.
The hospital room was nice. Mostly white with a wall that was light blue. And it was very clean, which is obviously what I would expect at a hospital, but it still appeased my neatness-loving soul. There was only a layer of sheer curtains over the window, letting in some of the morning sun but in a soft way.
Most people would hate this room. Most people would want to leave as soon as possible. Maybe after a day on hospital food, I would feel the same way, too.
But in this moment, the room strangely calmed me. I’d come here broken and suffering from so many things that had been building inside of me and finally ruptured—the cyst, my love for Nick, my heart; only some of which doctors had a cure for. But now, the cyst was gone, the pain was gone.
The cancer was gone.
My body was like this room—a blank slate. It was my starting point. It was possibilities. It was pure, clean hope.
My stomach didn’t hurt anymore.
Actually, I couldn’t feel my stomach.
My eyes slowly wandered down to my arms and the IVs, bandaids, and hospital bracelets covering them. Painkillers. No wonder I didn’t feel anything, and my brain felt a bit foggy. I tried to remember what happened, but everything after we got to the hospital was still a blur. The one nurse said that was normal with the Propofol they gave me for the surgery, and that it would clear from my system quickly.
Maybe I shouldn’t have asked for him. I wasn’t even thinking when I woke up. I had momentarily forgotten what happened with the cocktail of drugs beginning to disintegrate from my system. I opened my eyes and saw only my doctor and two nurses, and all I wanted was for Nick to be there to hold me.
What if he wasn’t here?
What if he was with her?
I hoped when they went looking for him and realized it was only Jessa and Chance—well, probably Ally and Emmett, too, I was sure that Jessa would have called her—that they would send Jessa back.
The Winter Games Page 142
