You Again?

by Spalding, Nick

  She looks up at him. And I think for the first time she sees who Joel really is. Because this is the man I once fell in love with, before our marriage started to go south and we sucked all the joy out of each other.

  I doubt she’s ever met this man before in her life.

  Cara nods slowly, the misery writ large across her face.

  Joel nods again, once more to himself than to anyone else. He then turns and comes to sit down next to me, an expression on his face that I find completely unreadable . . .

  I cannot express how relieved I am to climb off the catamaran and get back on to dry land. Mainly because it means I can finally get away from Cara and this incredibly tense situation. Joel may not hate her for what she did to us both, but I sure as hell do. I don’t have the emotional connection to feel anything different.

  Cara is being helped off the boat by Harry – and I’m sure is playing up her injuries massively for him. While the tumble she took was clearly nasty, I don’t think she actually needs the help of three fully grown men to move around, now Azim has joined Harry and Faraz.

  Thankfully, this means she’s moving at a snail’s pace, which lets us get well ahead of her. I don’t have to be in her vicinity anymore, and I’m very relieved that this is the case. I really don’t want to get arrested by the Maldivian police for beating up an injured woman.

  No, far better just to get her out of my line of sight – for the rest of my life.

  As I walk down the jetty I am suddenly aware that Joel has no such options available to him. ‘Oh God. You’ll have to go back and sleep in the bungalow with her, won’t you?’ I say, going wide eyed with horror.

  ‘Yes,’ he says, looking dejected. It’s obviously something that’s already occurred to him.

  ‘Nonsense. He can sleep on our couch,’ Ray suggests, looking at Joel. ‘I’ll go and get your stuff out of there. You can bunk down with us tonight. We have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow for the flight anyway, so none of us will be sleeping that much.’

  ‘That’s a great idea,’ I add, feeling happy that we can at least do something to get Joel away from the evil Carathulhu on his last night on the island.

  It further occurs to me that Joel will therefore be sleeping on the same couch I tried to have sex with Ray on because I was guilty about letting Joel kiss me – but there’s really not much fire to that thought now.

  That was a different woman. One who didn’t really understand the way things actually were.

  I have undergone a profound change of perspective over the past couple of days. First with Ray’s insight into my feelings for Joel, and second with the revelation that Joel was not to blame for me losing my job and my marriage.

  That honour goes to the woman behind me, who has just screamed in agony because Azim, Harry and Faraz have dropped her on to the hard wood of the jetty.

  The smile that appears on my lips is the biggest one I’ve been able to muster this entire holiday.

  ‘I’m sorry we can’t separate the two of you on the plane, though,’ Ray says as we walk along the beach to our water bungalow.

  Joel shakes his head. ‘Don’t worry. I can put up with that. If I can’t find an empty seat elsewhere, I’ll just stick on some headphones and an eye mask, and ignore her. I certainly don’t intend to speak to her anymore, and if she tries, I’ll call the steward over and tell him she’s an escaped psychopath.’

  ‘Not too far from the truth,’ I say, thinking about everything Carathulhu has done.

  Joel nods and smiles, but there’s no humour in it. His eyes have a haunted look about them that only increases my level of worry for him as we walk together along the beach. He may have summoned up something from deep within him to confront Cara, but whatever it was is slowly seeping out of him now, unfortunately. I don’t quite know why.

  His head goes down again, and I exchange a glance with Ray that speaks volumes.

  It’s quite incredible how both of our attitudes towards Joel have irrevocably altered. Where once he was someone to avoid and loathe (on my part anyway. I think Ray only truly extended as far as mild dislike), he’s now a friend in need of help.

  God.

  Joel.

  A friend.

  A friend in need, who I want to help.

  What crazy universe is this?

  But I have no idea how I can help him. None whatsoever – and that twists my stomach into knots. Now that I know my ex-husband was not the architect of my downfall, a lot of the genuine feelings I still have for him are allowed to come out into the open, without being accompanied by negative emotions. I may have fallen out of love with him a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love him.

  Bloody hell.

  If you could show me something more complicated in human existence than the way love works, I’d be bloody amazed. It makes the formation of an entire universe in a split second seem like a piece of cake.

  ‘It’s not the plane I’m worried about when it comes to Cara,’ Joel says, still with that haunted expression on his face. ‘It’s going back into work with her.’

  I wince.

  I hadn’t even thought of that!

  That’s why he looks so dejected again.

  The poor guy not only has to suffer an eleven-hour flight with Carathulhu, but he also has to go to work with her next week!

  My stomach is now so twisted that I may never be able to eat the piece of cake that was formed by the universe – right after it invented the sherry trifle.

  Bizarrely, I again feel wracked with guilt.

  Because I get to go home with Ray Holland, and go to work with him next week, in a job I – kind of – enjoy. Even though it isn’t a thrill a minute, at least I don’t have to do it alongside someone who was instrumental in making my job ten times worse. That’s going to be Joel’s lot in life moving forward and he really doesn’t deserve that.

  No more words pass between us as we get back to the water bungalow and go inside. Joel plonks himself down on the couch, while I make us all a nice cup of tea. Ray has wandered off outside to look at the stars, which are starting to come out now that the daylight has completely faded. He looks lost in deep thought.

  Once the teas are made, I hand one over to Joel and pop Ray’s down on the side table next to the couch.

  When he comes back into the bungalow, Ray has a determined expression on his face.

  ‘Joel. I have a proposition for you.’

  My heart skips a beat, and I have to sit down next to Joel so my legs don’t give out from under me.

  I know exactly what Ray is about to say . . . and it’s as perfect as it is absolutely amazing.

  ‘Yes, Ray?’ Joel replies, looking up at him with his cup of tea clutched in his hands like a lost little schoolboy.

  ‘My yacht business is expanding – not least due to the help Amy has given me with it this past year – and I’m on the lookout for great salesmen who can help me continue to grow. The plan is to move into selling much larger, more expensive boats now, and that will no doubt require more experienced staff.’

  ‘Okay,’ Joel says, a bit non-plussed, bless him. He has no idea what Ray is saying, because he has no real comprehension of the kind of man Ray is. A man who I will be very proud to marry at some point in the near future.

  ‘Would you like to come and work for me?’ Ray says. ‘I’ve heard all about how well you and Amy worked together before all of the . . . nastiness. It certainly sounds like you know how to sell. You think you can do that with luxury boats the way you have done with luxury houses?’

  ‘Buh . . . buh . . .’ Joel replies, completely discombobulated.

  No wonder.

  ‘Just say yes, Joel,’ I tell him. ‘We were a great team before everything went south . . . maybe we can be again . . . but this time as friends.’

  Joel looks at me. That haunted expression has disappeared, to be replaced by something much better. Hope.

  He nods his head vigorously at me, before doing th
e same at Ray. ‘Yes. Yes, I’d . . . I’d love to do that,’ he eventually says. ‘I’m quite good at selling boats, actually. There was this houseboat that I sold on the Thames, you see . . .’

  ‘Excellent!’ Ray exclaims, and claps his hands together. ‘Well, that’s settled then. I’m looking forward to seeing how you two work together. If you can do for Holland Yachts what you did for Rowntree Land & Home, I’ll be delighted!’

  I stand up, and put a hand on Ray’s arm. ‘Are you sure about this? Won’t it be hard for you to have . . . to have my ex working for you? With me?’

  Ray shrugs and shakes his head. ‘I know how much you love me, sweetheart. I trust you.’ He turns and looks back down at Joel, a meaningful look on his face. ‘And I can trust you too, can’t I, Joel?’

  Joel lets his breath out in a short, sharp exhale. ‘Are you kidding me? You’re saving my bloody life, Ray!’ He cocks his head at me. ‘If she won’t marry you, I fucking will!’

  Which, in the language of Joel Sinclair, is a definite affirmation of trust, I believe.

  Ray certainly seems to take it that way, as he laughs and pats Joel on the shoulder. ‘Good stuff. Now . . . I’m going to go over to your bungalow to pick your things up, Joel. Why don’t you and Amy have a chat about how things will work from now on, while I’m gone?’

  Ray’s voice is casual, but he clearly wants us both to iron out any lingering animosity or friction before we go any further.

  It’s something I fully understand and agree with. ‘Yeah. Let’s go for a little walk, Joel. Down to the end so we can look at the water.’

  ‘Okay,’ my ex-husband – and friend – replies, looking happy for the first time this week.

  Hell, it’s the first time I’ve seen him looking happy for bloody years.

  I don’t want to descend into a trite cliché here, but there’s no other way for me to describe the change I see in him. It’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders (sorry).

  I suppose that’s mainly down to the fact that Ray has offered him a lifeline out of a job that’s obviously no good for him anymore, but I’d also like to think that some of that weight was the animosity between Joel and me. A weight that’s been resolutely shifted over on to the shoulders of the person who actually deserves it.

  I certainly feel a lot lighter now. You don’t know how much something has been affecting you mentally until it’s gone. The idea that the man I once loved would contribute to my downfall plagued me. Knowing that it didn’t happen that way is a relief that genuinely makes me feel like I can breathe easier.

  I give Ray a kiss on the cheek as he parts ways with us to go and get Joel’s belongings. I doubt Carathulhu will put up any kind of resistance after Joel’s words to her, but even if she does I feel perfectly happy that Ray can handle whatever she might try to throw at him.

  ‘Come on, you,’ I say to Joel, and start to stroll down the wooden walkway, underneath the blanket of stars that has been the most glorious sight throughout this whole holiday – other than the dugong.

  I then wince a little when I remember where I’m inadvertently walking towards. The place where I had my little over the side evacuation, thanks to Joel’s machinations earlier in the week. That seems like it was a lifetime ago – which is just as well, as I can more or less cope with the idea of going to the same place again now.

  I make a conscious effort to steer us over to the other side of the widened pier, though. Let’s not get stupid here.

  As we reach the end of the walkway Joel is looking a little disconsolate again.

  ‘Honestly, Joel, it’ll all be okay,’ I tell him. ‘Ray is as good as his word. You’ll be out from under Rowntree’s nose before you know it.’

  Joel shakes his head. ‘It’s not that. I do trust him . . . and I trust you too. It’s . . . I just . . .’

  ‘What?’

  He turns to face me. ‘All those years, Amy. All that anger. All that hate. All a complete waste of time . . .’

  I nod. ‘Yeah. I know what you mean.’

  ‘It would have all been easier, if Cara hadn’t . . . done what she did. Without Goblin Central we might have been more civil to each other. Avoided all the hate and the anger.’

  I heave a huge sigh. ‘Maybe. Maybe not.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Look, we know what happened with Goblin Central was awful . . . and it’s still taking a huge amount of will power for me not to follow Ray over to your bungalow and throw Cara off the side of it – but to be honest with you, if it wasn’t that, it would have been something else, wouldn’t it? We would have probably stumbled on even longer in a marriage neither of us wanted anymore, before another incident came along to blow everything up. Cara just speeded up the whole nasty bloody process with what she did to our calendar.’

  Joel nods his head. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right.’

  ‘That stupid mansion – and that even more stupid girl – was the straw that broke the camel’s back,’ I continue, ‘but if we’d been in a better place anyway, we would have worked things out. Don’t you think that if we were meant to be together, it would have all gone a different way?’

  Joel goes to reply, but his mouth hangs open for a moment before he closes it again. There’s a lot to digest in what I’ve just said.

  ‘Remember back, Joel. Remember back to what we were like even before Goblin Central. Sure, we had some great moments – coming here for the first time, for instance – but we argued an awful lot as well. Mostly about work. Because that was our passion. The thing that brought us together . . .’

  ‘ . . . and the thing that kept us together, until it tore us apart,’ Joel finishes for me. ‘Ugh.’

  ‘Exactly,’ I reply. ‘A couple better suited to each other in general would have had more between them to keep them together, even through the roughest of times – like what Cara did to us.’ I rub my eyes for a moment, suddenly feeling bone tired. ‘Our work both defined our relationship, and was the glue that held it together. I don’t think there was really much else. Something was always going to come along to blow it all up eventually.’

  Joel stands there for a moment, staring down at the water, letting all of this sink in. He then looks back up at me with a lop-sided grin. ‘You always were smarter than me, Ames.’

  I shrug my shoulders. ‘Not smarter, just different. You were the powerhouse in our relationship, Joel. I know that. You knew people better than me. You got them better than me. And you knew how to talk to them. I was the details girl.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘No maybe about it. I know what my strengths are, and I know what yours are too. That’s why I know we can work together again – this time as friends.’

  Joel nods animatedly. ‘Yeah. That’s right. We can get it back again, Ames,’ he says with real excitement. ‘What we once had? We can sell the shit out of Ray’s yachts together!’

  I laugh. ‘That’s what I’m hoping.’

  Then Joel does something that would have scared the fuck out of me just a few hours ago. He reaches out and takes my hand. I don’t flinch or try to move away when he does this. I just don’t feel the need.

  ‘Is it okay . . . is it okay if I say that I love you?’ he says, lip trembling a bit. ‘You know, as a friend?’

  When the tear rolls down my cheek, I don’t try to wipe it away. ‘Yes. Of course. I love you too, Joel. Always did. Always will.’ I take a huge breath. ‘That’s why this holiday has been such a nightmare.’

  ‘Agreed,’ he replies. ‘But not anymore. That’s all over with now. New chapter, and all that. As friends.’

  ‘As friends,’ I repeat.

  And when Joel comes in closer to hug me, I happily let him do it, because that’s what friends do. Especially friends who have discovered each other again, after a long time of being apart.

  When he breaks the embrace, Joel has another smile on his face, this time a cheeky one. It’s his best smile, by far and away. ‘Ray really is a fantastic blo
ke, isn’t he?’ he says.

  ‘Yes, absolutely.’

  ‘I thought he was too good to be true.’

  ‘Did you?’

  ‘Yep. Nobody’s that good, I thought. Must be a serial killer in disguise.’

  I laugh out loud, even though I know I probably shouldn’t. ‘I could see you thinking that, yeah. He really is just a very nice man, though.’

  ‘Seems that way. And ironically, it was me who turned out to be with the psychopath.’

  ‘Yes indeed. Carathulhu does seem like she’s got a screw loose, doesn’t she?’

  Joel’s eyes go wide. ‘Carathulhu? ’

  I laugh hard, and put a hand up to my mouth. ‘Yeah, that’s her nickname now . . . you know, like the creatures in that movie we watched that night in the Premier Inn in Cornwall? The one with all the monsters with the tentacles?’

  To demonstrate, I wave my arms around at my sides.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Joel asks.

  ‘Tentacles, Joel. I’m doing tentacles,’ I reply in a very serious voice. ‘These are Carathulhu’s tentacles.’

  Joel stares at me for second, before doubling over with laughter loud enough to echo around the water bungalows, and out across the gentle Maldivian ocean where the dugongs live.

  This is absolutely fine as far as I’m concerned – because if you’re going to end a holiday on a good note, it should really be with the sound of laughter . . . don’t you think?

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Photo © 2017 Chloe Waters

  Nick Spalding is the bestselling author of fifteen novels, two novellas and two memoirs. Nick worked in media and marketing for most of his life before turning his energy to his genre-spanning humorous writing. He lives in the south of England with his wife.

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