by Mercer Scott
Crying isn’t exactly the usual reaction women have to being kissed by me. Maybe when I kissed Susanna Jamieson back when we were eight, but not since then. Most women are pretty happy to be kissed by me. The tears happen when it’s over, and they’re not going to be kissing me anymore.
I texted Natalia a few times last night to make sure she got home safe. But she didn’t respond. I need to make sure that she’s okay. And I need to know what went wrong. Because whatever it is, I’m going to fix it.
I wanted to message her as soon as I woke up at seven o’clock this morning, but I figured, that was venturing dangerously close to stalker territory. I’ve managed to hold off, but I’ve had my damn phone in my hand nearly every minute since I woke up. While I made myself a coffee. While I drank that coffee on the patio. The only time I put it down is when I forced myself to down to the beach for a swim. And then only for the part when I was actually in the water. My hip felt stiff from tossing and turning all night, and the weightlessness of the water always helps with that.
It’s ten o’clock now. That should be a respectable enough time to text. Or call. Everyone was drinking last night, but isn’t ten o’clock enough time to sleep in?
My fingers are hovering over the keyboard on my phone, just waiting to type something. Needing to type something.
“The hell with this,” I mutter under my breath to no one but myself.
I’m not texting Natalia again. I need to see her. In person. I need to know that she’s okay. And I need to know what the hell happened last night. I have my keys in my hand, and I’m climbing into my Jeep before I give myself a chance to think better of it. I don’t know how many security guards and billionaires are between me and Natalia. Why I didn’t put together that the giant mansion Natalia was staying at belonged to Deacon Park, I have no idea. I’ve never met the guy, but I know he’s a friend of Archer’s.
But I’m not letting whoever owns that house keep me out of it. It might be a fortress, but whatever the hell I have to do, I’m getting in there and making sure that Natalia’s okay.
My mind is running through every way I could gain entry to the house. Brute force probably isn’t the best option. But I could sneak in, pretending to be a gardener or something. Climbing the fence is probably doable, but I know that my hip would make me regret it afterwards.
By the time I’m outside the gate to her friend Lara’s house, I have twelve different plans, each with numerous contingencies. This is what I was trained to do. This is who I am. Or who I used to be. Because I’m not a Navy SEAL anymore.
But sitting outside the high fence, I think better of all of my tactical options. I may not understand it, but something I did last night scared her. And I don’t want to scare her again. After a night of texts with no response, breaking into her house probably isn’t the best idea. I think I would go well past stalker territory and straight into convicted felon territory with that one. Even if it would have been fun. Damn it, I miss being a Navy SEAL.
So, the front door it is. Even if waiting patiently at the security gate to see if anyone is willing to buzz me in is the last thing that I want to be doing right now. Smiling at the thought, I know can still break in later if I need to. But for now, knocking is the smart thing to. Or buzzing. Because I’m nowhere near the front door. First, I have to get through these damn gates.
“Daniels-Park Residence. Who is it?” a voice says over the intercom. It’s not Natalia, or any voice I recognize. My heart sinks a little. But I don’t know why I thought she might be answering the intercom. I grew up in houses like this. The family doesn’t answer the intercom, they have staff for that.
“Cooper Hamilton. I’m here to see Natalia Roy. Please tell her that I really need to see her.”
“Alright. Please wait there,” the disembodied voice instructs me.
Where am I going to go? There’s a couple thousand pounds of steel gate between me and Natalia at the moment. So, I do as I’m told and sit there for a few long minutes. I hate the waiting. That was always the worst part of missions. All of us waiting to take action, our hearts pounding away in our chests. But I don’t have a whole team backing me up on this mission, now it’s just me and Bertha, purring away beneath me.
There’s a crackle on the intercom and the voice comes back on. “Ms. Roy will meet you at the front door. Please drive through.”
Ms. Roy will meet you me at the front door.
It’s not exactly a warm welcome. But it’s not nothing. It’s something, and that’s the opposite of nothing. If I can just see her – talk to her – I know that I can figure out what happened last night. And then I can fix it for her. For us. Whatever it is, I’m going to fix it.
The gates open slowly – way too slowly for my liking – but then I’m driving through and heading for the house like I have a dozen times before when I’ve dropped Natalia off or picked her up. When I park Bertha off to the side of the front door, Natalia’s still not outside yet. But when I climb out of my Jeep and turn to head for the door, I see her.
She’s still in her pajamas. Flannel plaid pajamas, apparently. On Maui, when it must be eighty-five degrees out. Her hair is pulled up on top of her head in a messy bun, and her face is washed clean. I like how she looks in make-up, but I definitely like this, too. This is the Natalia that not everyone gets to see. But I get to see her like this, and I want to see all of her.
“Did you forget we had plans?” I call out to her.
She frowns, and I can pretty much hear the wheels turning in her head as she tries to figure out what plans she forgot.
“What plans? We didn’t have any plans.”
“Hmmm, no? I was pretty sure we did. I was going to kiss you at an eighties dance, and you were going to be so turned on that you demanded that we have sex right then and there. I was going to tell you that it was a bit soon, and we should probably wait. And you were going to tell me that you couldn’t possibly exist another second on this planet without knowing what it was like to have sex with me. I was going to relent – it was really going to be more of a public service than anything – and I was going to spend the night making love to you. Then I was going to take you for breakfast at the Glass Balls to refuel.” I give her a big smile, so she knows I’m joking and not completely crazy. Only I’m not joking. Not entirely, anyways. That definitely wasn’t not the plan for last night. I would have counted myself damn lucky if it had turned out that way.
I’m standing right in front of her now, and she looks even more beautiful up close. She reaches out and feels my forehead and cheeks with the back of her hand, like my mom used to do when I was sick as a kid.
“Just checking to see if you have a fever because you appear to be delirious. How long have you been having these hallucinations?” Natalia reaches down and takes my wrist to check my pulse.
“Since about the first moment you ran me down and then felt me up.”
She finishes checking my pulse, but I don’t miss out on the opportunity to take her hand and hold it in mine.
“If what I did that day was feeling you up, then I’ve felt up more people than I can count.” Natalia juts out her hip and rests her fist on it. But she doesn’t pull away the hand that I’m still holding onto.
“You said it, not me. But every single one of them was lucky as hell to have these hands on them.” I squeeze her hand gently, and she gives me a shy smile. “You okay?”
“Do you want to maybe go for a walk on the beach?” she asks.
My eyes run up and down the flannel lining her body. “Sure, but you’re not exactly dressed for the beach.”
“One of the perks of a private beach. I can wear whatever I want, and no one can see me!” Natalia moves her shoulders up and down in a cute, little dance.
“I can see you.”
“You don’t count.”
“I’m pretty sure I do count.”
“Maybe,” she says, as she tugs my hand and pulls me back down the steps from the house. “We can go this way an
d walk down to the water. This is such a beautiful place. The property is huge.”
“Lara’s a lucky woman.”
Natalia stops short, yanking on my hand, but not pulling away. “Deacon Park is the lucky man!”
“You ladies are pretty loyal to one another, aren’t you?” It’s a rhetorical question. I saw for myself last night exactly how loyal they are. But Natalia’s friends don’t need to protect her from me. Not now, not ever.
“We’ve been friends for a long time,” she says slowly. “We probably know more about each other than anyone has a right to know about another person. And somehow we still love each other. You know that feeling like if you showed another person who you really are, deep down inside, then maybe they wouldn’t like what they saw? Somehow, we were all brave enough to do that, and we actually did still like each other.”
“Are you brave enough to do that now?” That’s what I need to know. That’s why I’m here. Because this may have started out with me enjoying needling the beautiful, prickly nurse I met by accident. But it’s not just a game anymore. I want to get to know her, really know her. And I want her to know me.
Natalia glances up at me and then looks away. “That’s a pretty big question.”
“You know me. Go big or go home.” I can’t stop myself from grinning at her when she rolls her eyes.
“What is it with men and the size of things? Big cars. Big TVs. Big di… Women care more about what you do with it than how big your toys are!”
“I’d love to show you how big my toy is and what I can do with it. You just say the word.”
She shakes her head at me, but she’s smiling. “We’ve kissed one time, and you think I want to see what you can do with any of your toys?”
“Whose fault is that?” I demand with a laugh. “I’ve been hitting on you for a month. Giving you all my best lines. You’re the one who keeps pushing me away.”
That stops her in her tracks. “You’ve been what-ting on me for a what?”
“Hitting on you. For a month. You should remember. You were there, too. You were generally just acting annoyed.”
“I remember the annoyed part.” Natalia bites her lip. “But the rest of it… I wasn’t sure that you actually meant any of it.”
“Well, I did. Women usually pick up on that without me having to say the words. Without me having to say any words, really.”
“Yes, please tell me all about the many, many women that you’ve been with.”
“Jealous?”
“No.” She shakes her head so hard that I’m afraid she’s going to lose her balance. But I’m going to be here to catch her if she falls. Or at least go down with her and break her fall. That didn’t work out so bad for me the last time, even if it did hurt like hell. Because it got me Natalia.
“Sounds like maybe you’re a bit jealous. Don’t worry. I like it.”
“I don’t. And I’m not. Jealous that is. You are fee to do whatever with whomever. It has nothing to do with me.” Natalia pulls her hand away from me now, probably just to make her point. But I don’t like it one bit.
The wind tugs at a tendril of her hair and drags it across her face. I push it back with my thumb, and then press my hand against her jaw.
“I like you, Natalia. I wanted to dance with you last night, and I hate dancing. I wanted to kiss you last night. Well, I don’t hate kissing. But I really wanted to kiss you.”
“You did kiss me last night.”
A smile tugs across the lips that kissed hers last night. “Damn right, I did. And I want to keep right on kissing you. But it would be better for my ego, if you didn’t run away crying every time. I need you to tell me what happened, so I can make it not happen again.”
“You can’t fix everything, Cooper.” The words fall down in the sand between us, and I can hear the pain in her voice.
“Try me. I’m pretty good at fixing things.” I give her another smile, and then run my thumb over her bottom lip. I’m really going to need to fix whatever’s wrong because I really need to kiss her again.
“I came to Maui to get away from someo… something. I didn’t come here to end up kissing anyone. Not even you.”
“My ego thanks you for the not even me part. I wasn’t looking for this either. I’ve been pretty happy being angry and wallowing in self-pity for the last few months. But then you ran me down and practically sent me right back into surgery. And I don’t know, this is super corny, but you gave me something to look forward to again.”
“That is super corny. You really shouldn’t say things like that to women. It’s a total turn-off.” She has tears in her eyes, threatening to fall again. But something tells me these tears are different from the ones last night. And I don’t think she’s turned off by what I just said.
“I know right? Women hate men being honest about their feelings, I keep hearing that. I bet you would hate kissing me right now, especially after that cornball stuff.”
She nods slowly.
“I really want to kiss you again, Natalia. Want to take a talking break and make out?”
She nods again.
I need to taste her again. Kissing her last night felt so good that I’ve been wondering if I made it all up. Not that I would have made up the crying and the running away. That’s part of what made it worse when she ran from me. I was on top of a fucking mountain, and then she brought me down low when she ran from me.
“Promise not to cry this time?”
She starts to nod up at me and then shakes her head slowly instead.
“Fair enough. I guess I know what I’m getting into this time, right?” I tell her with a laugh.
She’s staring up at me, and she’s so damn pretty that I can’t not kiss her. Reaching out, I take her face in my hands as I lean down to press my lips against hers.
Our lips meet, and I take my time, savoring the taste of her. I move my lips against hers slowly, building up the need for more in both of us. She steps closer to me, and I wonder if she even knows she did that. I can feel her body pressed against mine. Every soft inch of her. Her breasts. Her hips. I haven’t even slipped my tongue past her lips, and I can feel my cock harden between my legs.
I’ve waited long enough. I need more of her. I need everything. As I slide my tongue along the seam of her lips, she opens them for me. Then my tongue rushes into her, driving us both crazy with want. With need. I want to tear open her flannel pajamas and see every inch of her. Touch every inch of her. But I force myself to reign it in because I know it’s too much, too fast.
Natalia’s delicate, sensitive. I have to take it slow with her. So, I slow down the movement of my tongue against hers, drawing out every touch, every taste. And when we’ve both calmed down, I build back up the want and need between us. By the time I finally pull away, we’re both panting and wanting more.
“No tears this time?” I ask, bracing myself.
“No tears,” she says, with a laugh. “What, are you disappointed?”
“In you? Never? But if you were crying because the kiss was just that damn good last night, then I’m happy to keep trying to meet your expectations,” I tell her, leaning down to kiss her again.
Natalia presses her hand flat against my chest and shakes her head at me.
“I want to… but no. Cooper, I really want to. But I swore off men, remember? I didn’t come to Maui to start anything…” She can’t meet my eyes when she’s telling me this crap.
“Don’t let whatever that asshole did to you stop you from grabbing a little bit of happiness where you can. Trust me, whatever this is between us can give us both some much-needed happiness. If what happened to me taught me one thing, it’s that life is just too damn short. It’s too short to have regrets. Too short not to be happy. You like kissing me. And you want to keep on kissing me. I want you to keep on kissing me. So, that’s the answer. Full stop.”
“Cooper, I don’t know…” she trails off. “My friends are literally going to murder me if I say no. They’ve been t
elling me to sleep with you since I first met you.”
“What?” I let out a bark of laughter. “Have I told you how much I like your friends?”
“Very funny. I’m not going to lie and tell you that I don’t like you because I do. I mean, I guess you’re not terrible to look at. And I guess some women might find you charming?” Natalia shrugs her flannel-clad shoulders at me. “I don’t know who those women are, but I guess it’s possible that some women-”
I reach out and tickle the back of her arm. “Some women, huh? And you wouldn’t be one of those women who finds me charming?”
She shakes her head at me, looking very serious. Brat. I tickle her harder until she’s bent over against me, laughing hysterically.
“Stop! Cooper, stop! I’m going to pee my pants!”
“You really know how to turn a man on,” I tell her with a smile, letting up a bit, but not stopping. “Say it.”
“Say what?”
“Say that you’re into me.”
She shakes her head at me, so I keep right on tickling her.
“Say it.”
She can barely speak she’s laughing so hard. “Okay, okay. I’ll say it.”
I stop tickling her so that she can stand up and tell me what I want to hear.
“I suppose that maybe I don’t not like you, too.”
“That’s it? That’s what you wanted to say to me?” I lean forward menacingly.
“Yup!” she says stepping back just out of my reach. “Let’s go for a walk.”
I don’t really want to go for a walk, what I want is Natalia back in my arms. But when she reaches her hand back for mine, I can’t not take it. In two long strides, I’m next to her, holding her small hand in mine.
This is a beautiful spot. Maybe not as beautiful as the beach on my parents’ compound. But you can’t really go wrong with a private beach on Maui. They even have a beach hut under construction near where the beach meets a line of palm trees.
After a few minutes walking in easy silence, I can’t stop myself from getting to the bottom of what happened last night. I’m a fixer, and I need to fix this. “Are you ready to tell me why you started crying last night?”
