by Mercer Scott
Bridget does not look impressed by the idea. “Everyone out. Now!”
As I pee on all fifteen sticks – some of them so fancy they look like remote controls – all I can think about is Cooper. I wish he was here with me right now. But he made his choice. And that choice was leaving me.
Four sets of eyes are staring at me when I open the door. They all walk right back into the bathroom to inspect the wet sticks sitting on the counter.
“How long do we have to wait?” Veronica looks nervously at the tests, like they might jump up and walk off the counter at any moment.
“I don’t know. Usually about ten minutes or so.” I’ve given pregnancy tests to dozens of scared teenagers in the ER, but I never thought that I’d be taking one like this.
Cassie picks up a set of instructions. “This one says ten minutes. This one, too.” After flipping through most of the manuals, she looks up with a smile. “The general consensus seems to be ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes…” I repeat back. I’m not sure what’s worse. Getting the results immediately. Or never. Neither seems like a particularly great option.
“Okay ten minutes, it is.” Bridget sets a timer on her phone.
And then we wait.
“This is officially the longest ten minutes of my life.” I announce painfully.
V reaches over and squeezes my hand. “Whatever all those little pee sticks end up saying, you’re not alone in this. You’re never going to be alone. You can move to Maui and live with us.”
“My house is bigger. She can live with us.” Lara grins at me.
“Thanks, friends. But I can’t even think about what I’m going to do… not until I know for sure. How can this be happening when Cooper is just… gone? He hasn’t responded to my texts. I even tried calling him. And nothing.”
A panicked thought occurs to me. “Oh my god. Oh my god. What am I going to tell him? What if he thinks I did this on purpose? To trap him or something? His family’s super rich, and people do that sort of thing-”
“Exactly how much trashy TV have you been watching while wallowing on your sofa?” Bridget asks with a smile.
I bite my lip and smile back. “A fair amount. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands.”
“You didn’t do anything to trap anyone. Cooper and his Navy SEAL sperm probably did this to trap you. You’re the prize here, not him,” Lara says, harshly.
Cassie nods. “I mean, it does add up. He’s a Navy SEAL, so you know they’re good swimmers.”
Everyone bursts out laughing.
“I said don’t make me laugh at a time like this!” But I can’t help laughing, because this entire situation is ridiculous. As ridiculous as Cooper’s super-swimmer sperm.
“Five. Four. Three. Two. One,” Bridget counts down until the buzzer on her phone rings out in the cramped bathroom.
Staring down at the bathroom counter, I see that every single one of the neatly lined up tests is positive. All I can see are plus signs and double lines everywhere.
“I think I’m going to be sick.” Diving for the toilet, I make it just in time to throw up the bagel I ate before coming over to Bridget’s for a waffle brunch. I wasn’t joking when I said that I was living on carbs. When my body finally stops heaving, I sit back on Bridget’s perfectly clean bathroom floor and lean against the tub.
“How did I not know that I’m pregnant? I’m a nurse!” Covering my face with my hands, my shoulders start to shake again as tears fill my eyes. “How did I let this happen?”
“This is amazing news!” Veronica promises me, as she slides onto the floor next to me. “You’re going to be the best mom. And the rest, we’ll figure out together.”
“How am I going to tell Cooper? He’s going to hate me.”
“You don’t owe that asshole anything. This is your baby. Our baby. Cooper Hamilton is just the sperm donor.” Lara crosses her arms over her chest, and I can tell that she means every single word. But Cooper doesn’t feel like just a sperm donor, at least not to me.
Bridget smiles. “For once, I agree entirely with Lara. This is your baby. You don’t owe anyone anything. Except us because we’re all going to be aunties!”
Bridget sits down on the bathroom floor next to me, and then everyone else does, too.
“I’m going to teach the baby to hike. Maybe she’ll be a journalist one day?” Cassie smiles excitedly.
“I’ll take her to her first club when she’s sixteen. Gives me a reason to keep up on the club scene. I wouldn’t want to lead her astray. Who knows who the good DJs will be then?” Lara says thoughtfully.
“So, selfless.” Veronica shakes her head. “I can’t wait to meet this little one. She’s going to have the best mama and the best life.”
“Exactly.”
“One hundred percent.”
“I have to tell him.” No matter how I come at it, I just can’t not tell Cooper that I’m having his baby.
“You absolutely do not. You owe him nothing,” Cassie says. “If you want to tell him, that’s one thing. But you don’t have to do anything.”
Veronica nods at Cassie. “It’s your baby. Your choice. You can do whatever feels right to you. But you don’t have to do anything.”
“I have to tell him. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t…”
“Okay, as long as you know that it’s your choice. All that matters are you and the baby, so do whatever you need to do.” Veronica beams encouragingly at me.
“He won’t answer my calls and texts. And even if he did, I can’t tell him this over text. I don’t even know where he is right now.”
“His friend, Marcus, probably knows where he is, right?” Lara suggests, her eyes narrowed.
I nod. Marcus. Yes. I just need to take this one step at a time. Call Marcus. Track down Cooper. Tell him about the baby. And then get back to my own life. A life that now consists of raising a baby all by myself. While possibly unemployed. But I won’t ask Cooper for a single thing. I don’t need him, and I don’t need his family’s money. I didn’t grow up with much, and I turned out just fine.
Pressing my hand against my stomach, the nurse in me knows that it shouldn’t feel any different than it did an hour ago before I ever suspected that I was pregnant. But the rest of me thinks it feels completely different. There’s a baby in there. Cooper’s baby.
“I’m going to need all of you because I don’t think I can do this on my own.” I look each one of my best friends in the eyes for a long minute.
“It’s a good thing that you’re not going to have to do this on your own then.” Bridget smiles at me across the cold, tile floor.
“I’ll drink for two until you have the baby,” Lara offers.
Veronica frowns. “Why do you get to do that?”
“I volunteer as tribute! I want to drink for two!” Cassie shouts, raising her arms in the air.
“Jerks! You can all drink for two until the baby is born. And then I want to get so stinking wine drunk that I throw up – from alcohol – like a sensible person. Throwing up from actual nausea is so much worse.”
“Bridge, do you have an extra toothbrush?” Cassie asks. “Because this mama-to-be needs to brush her teeth already!”
Covering my mouth with my hand, I realize that she’s completely right. Yuck.
“Did you even have to ask? Guest bathroom upstairs.” Bridget nods toward the stairs. “And for whoever is capable of eating without immediately vomiting, there’s a ton of waffles to be eaten.”
Slowly but surely, I pry myself up off the bathroom floor to brush my teeth. One step at a time. Because that’s the only way that I’m going to get through this.
When I’m by myself in the upstairs bathroom, I stare at my reflection. I’m going to be a mom. A single mom. I’m terrified, but I know that I want this baby. Cooper may not love me, but this baby was made out of love. My love.
And I can’t be happy about the baby until I tell Cooper. I would do anything not to have to see him and
tell him this. For a long minute, I seriously consider some sort of carrier pigeon situation to tell him the news that I’m pregnant. But pigeons seem pretty flakey, and I just don’t know if I can trust them with news this important.
Part of me doesn’t want to know where Cooper is because once I know where to find Cooper, it means that I’m actually going to have to follow through and tell him about the baby. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I slowly tap the screen. One step at a time. Just take one step at a time.
Natalia: Hey, do you know where Cooper is? I really need to talk to him, and he won’t answer me
Marcus: Yeah... he’s in NYC
Natalia: He went back to New York?
Marcus: Yeah. I haven’t talked to him in a few weeks. But he’s living in NYC and working for his dad’s company
Natalia: Oh… I didn’t know that
Marcus: I don’t think it’s good. For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen him happier than he was with you. I ever tell you that?
Natalia: Nope. But we’re not together anymore. I just need to talk to him about something
Natalia: Do you know where he’s living in NYC?
Marcus: You’re going to go all the way there? Must be something pretty important. I’m sure I have an address somewhere. I’ll find it and get back to u
Natalia: Thanks, Marcus! If you’re ever in San Francisco, I owe you a beer
Marcus: I just might have to take you up on that…
In twenty-four hours, I’m at the airport waiting for a flight to take off to New York City, armed only with a text from Marcus telling me where to find Cooper. My phone rings just as they’re announcing that it’s time to board my row at the very back of the plane. Glancing down, I see that it’s the hospital. I quickly stop the ringing, but I don’t pick up. Whatever they’re going to tell me matters a million times less than what I’m on my way to do.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Natalia
“Is Cooper Hamilton here?” One day after finding out that I’m pregnant, I’m standing on the doorstep of a giant mansion on the Upper East Side. I love New York, but I’ve never been anywhere near here before. Everywhere I look, there are cars that cost more than about ten years of my nursing salary and nannies walking around with other people’s children.
“I’m sorry, miss. This is a private event. Do you have an invitation?” The man peers down his nose at me and makes me feels shorter than one of Lara’s stiletto heels. I’m regretting my decision to come straight here from the airport. I was in such a rush to see Cooper and get this over with that it didn’t occur to me to dress up. But the way the butler is staring at me makes it pretty clear that my tank top and denim overall shorts are not appropriate attire for the Hamilton residence.
“No, I don’t have an invitation. But I’m here to see Cooper. Cooper Hamilton. Please, I really need to talk to him.”
“I’m sorry, miss. This is a private event.”
“I’m not here for your dumb event. I just need to talk to Cooper. Please.”
“This is a private residence, miss. I’m going to have to ask you to leave now.” The old man frowns down at me imperiously.
“But I really need to talk to Cooper. It’s really important.”
“I’m sure that it is, miss. And if Mr. Hamilton wanted to hear from you, I’m sure that you would have some other way to contact him. But you’ve shown up on the doorstep of a private residence at a particularly inopportune time. I’m going to have to insist that you leave now.”
“Someone giving you trouble, Bentham? Who in the hell would want to crash this horrible party?” A man’s voice calls out from inside the house.
For a second, I think it’s Cooper. But the voice isn’t quite right. When a face that looks painfully similar to Cooper’s shows up in the doorway, it isn’t quite right either. This must be one of Cooper’s brothers.
“And who do we have here?” Cooper’s brother eyes me up and down.
“Hi. I really need to talk to Cooper. Could you please let him know that I’m here?”
Cooper’s brother grins at me. “And you are?”
His brother’s ex-girlfriend? The mother of his future niece of nephew? I settle for telling him my name.
“I’m Natalia.”
“Very interesting. I thought you’d be taller.”
I stand up straighter, and then shrug. “Nope, this is it. So, which one of Cooper’s brothers are you?”
“Which one do you think I am?”
“I’d bet money on you being Archer.”
“And you’d be a winner.” He holds his hand out to me. “Archer Hamilton.”
I extend mine warily back to him. “Can you please tell Cooper that I’m here? And that I really need to talk to him?”
Archer nods at the snooty butler – Bentham – to take a step back from the door. “Follow me and you can tell him yourself.”
“I can just wait here…”
“Come on in, Natalia. We Hamiltons don’t bite.” The way he laughs tells me that may not be entirely true.
“You should tell that to your mother.” Crap. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them.
Archer lets out a bark of laughter. “Mom mentioned meeting Cooper’s new girlfriend on Maui. But she only had good things to say.”
“Really? Because that’s not the impression I got. And I was there.”
“Lillian likes to make her presence known. She’s mostly bark, though. Mostly.”
“I’ll try to remember that.” I wonder whether I’ll be getting more bark or more bite once she finds out that I’m currently carrying the next generation of Hamiltons in my belly. Bite, definitely bite.
I can barely keep track of what Archer’s saying to me as he leads me through a house that looks more like a museum. Everywhere I look are paintings and sculptures and furniture that looks like it belongs in a European palace.
“How big is this place?”
Archer smiles back at me. “Big.”
“Maybe I should wait here? The guy at the door said something about an event? I really just need to speak with Cooper. In private. And I don’t want to give your mother any more reason to dislike me by crashing her party…”
“Party crashing implies you’re an uninvited guest.” Archer grins. “Consider yourself officially invited.”
His smile is contagious, and I find myself smiling right back at him. “Why do I feel like this is a very bad idea?”
“Because you’ve only met my mother and my brother. Trust me, the rest of us are more fun.”
“Here we are.”
“And where exactly is here?”
Archer throws open a curtained French door, and in front of us is a big garden, complete with tents and a couple of hundred people milling around in fancy dresses and suits, or even tuxedoes. Glancing down again at the tank top and denim overall shorts situation that I’m wearing, there’s no question that I don’t belong here.
“Archer, wait. This is a really bad idea. Look at me. I can’t go out there. Can you please just go and get Cooper for me? Please.” I glance nervously out into the garden, searching for some sign of Cooper.
“I would… but it’s too late. Lillian incoming.”
“Archer?” she demands suspiciously. “Where did you disappear to? And who do you have there?”
Archer reaches for my arm and tugs me out of the shadows to stand right in front of Lillian Hamilton.
“You remember Cooper’s girlfriend, Natalia, don’t you, Mom?”
“Oh, I’m not. We’re not… anymore.”
Archer raises an eyebrow at me. “Sure about that?”
I nod. “Your brother made it pretty clear.”
“My brother can be a stubborn idiot.”
There’s no time to reply because Lillian is now close enough to hear us, and she’s staring at me with her eyes narrowed. I told Archer this was a bad idea!
“Natalia, dear. It’s lovely to see you again.”
It
is? “Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton. I’m really sorry to interrupt this lovely party. But I need to speak to Cooper. It’s important.”
“It’s no trouble at all, dear. You’re always welcome in our home. Do come in.”
“I’m really not dressed for a party like this. Archer was just going to get Cooper for me.”
“Was I?” Archer cocks his eyebrow at me.
“You were,” I insist with a smile.
“Don’t be silly, dear. Come in and join us.” Lillian reaches for my arm and tugs me down the steps out to the garden. The Hamiltons are all obviously very used to getting what they want.
So, this is happening. I feel completely out of place. The only denim in this entire backyard garden is made of up what now seem to be the entirely too-short, shorts on my legs.
“Cooper, darling. Someone’s here to see you,” Lillian calls out to a group standing off to the side.
I recognize Cooper before he even turns around. Not that I should recognize him in the suit he’s wearing. The man apparently knows how to wear a pair of dress pants, even if I think he looks better in jeans. But there’s something about the way he holds himself. His posture just screams military, like it did the first time we met. I could spot him in any crowd. The group he’s with all turn to look at us when Lillian speaks. And they’re all beautiful. Dark hair and the same, light grey-violet eyes. So, these are the rest of Cooper’s siblings, huh? I feel like I’m meeting a family of unnaturally, beautiful vampires. How can they all be so incredibly gorgeous?
After a quick glance at the rest of them, my eyes stay on Cooper. He’s frowning when he first turns around, then he looks shocked, and then he goes right back to frowning. Yup, this is going great so far.
When I notice that my hand has made its way to be absentmindedly rubbing my stomach, I force myself to stop. I’ve known that I’m pregnant for a grand total of thirty hours, and I’m already a total bump cradler when I don’t even have a bump to cradle, yet.
“Come here, Cooper darling,” Lillian calls out again when Cooper doesn’t move a single inch towards me.
I just need to tell him, and then I can leave. I just need to tell him, and then I never have to see him – or anyone else here – ever again. Probably.
