by Jeane Watier
“I overheard you say something like that at work the other day, and I couldn’t get it out of my mind. To be honest, that just makes me angry,” Jenna admitted, looking extremely uncomfortable. “You’re saying that I’ve created everything I’ve experienced in my life so far and that I’m continuing to create as I go along?” Jenna poked at the pasta on her plate and then set her fork down resolutely. “Believe me, if I was in control, my life would be a lot different than it is right now.”
“It’s okay to feel angry, too—that’s another part of this. Our emotions act as a guidance system, helping us get to where we want to be.”
“As much as it makes me angry,” Jenna replied, relaxing somewhat. “I just can’t seem to shake the thought. It seems to trigger a memory deep down somewhere, but it’s not clear. I think I’d like to hear more about this teaching.”
“Well, everything is made up of energy or vibration,” Rachael began. “Scientists have proved that when you break anything down into its smallest form, it’s made up of energy—everything from the hardest rock to the thoughts that we think.
“We live in an attraction-based Universe,” she continued. “That means that similar things are naturally attracted to one another. Therefore, energy that is similar in essence gets drawn together.”
“That all sounds very scientific,” Jenna interrupted. “But what does it have to do with creating our reality?”
“Everything, really,” Rachael explained. “We’re vibrational beings. Our thoughts are really just vibrations we’re transmitting, and because energy attracts like-energy, can you see that when we start thinking in a certain direction, it becomes easier and easier to continue in that direction?”
“That makes sense. Is that why it’s so easy to spiral downward? Once we start thinking negative thoughts, we attract even more of the same?”
“Yes!” Rachael was surprised at how quickly Jenna understood. “It’s like a path in a field or across the park. Once the path is established, we continue to follow it because it’s easier than creating a new path. It just keeps getting more packed down and smoothed out, making it practical to go that way.”
“Practical,” Jenna inserted, “but not beneficial.”
“Exactly!”
“So depression is just a path we’ve created,” Jenna concluded, proving she’d received the wisdom Rachael’s Inner Being had to offer. “We walk along, caught up in our life, and something happens to get us off track. We veer off on a new path and then just keep following it—mindlessly?”
“Yes,” Rachael replied. “As painful as it is to stay in depression, it’s easier to think thoughts similar to what you’ve been thinking than to reach for better feeling thoughts. But once you realize that your thoughts are taking you in a direction you don’t want to go, you can begin to reach for those better feeling thoughts on purpose.
“The problem is,” Rachael went on, “most people want to feel better instantly. That’s understandable, but the Law of Attraction won’t give you thoughts of joy from a place of depression or despair. Those emotions are too far apart. Thoughts are like magnets, attracting ones that are similar and repelling ones that aren’t.”
“I want to feel happy, but you’re saying I don’t even have access to the way I’d like to feel? I can’t even get to joy from this feeling of depression?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all!” Rachael reached across the table and squeezed Jenna’s hand. “You can get to where you want to be. You can be or do or have anything you want. My life is proof of that. But I learned that as much as I desired to feel good—really good, I had to move up the emotional scale in increments. You just can’t make it in one big jump.”
“So how did you move up this emotional scale?” Jenna looked at her watch as Rachael was about to reply. “Oh, no! I didn’t realize how long we’ve been here. I really have to go; Geoff has a meeting this afternoon. Maybe we could get together again. I’d like to hear what you have to say. I think it could really help me.” She paused and then added, shyly, “I thought of something earlier. If you’re interested…I could come by your place sometime and maybe help you with some more decorating.”
“I’d love that!” Rachael exclaimed, feeling exuberant over the way their meeting had turned out. “Why don’t you let me know when it works best for you? My schedule is flexible.”
“Let’s talk at work this week and plan something,” Jenna suggested. “And thank you. This means a lot to me.”
Rachael paid for their meal and then walked Jenna outside, giving her a hug as they parted. “I just want to help,” she smiled. “Everyone deserves to be happy.”
Rachael could hardly contain her excitement over the synchronistic unfolding of events she’d just witnessed—meeting Jenna at the mall, finding a common interest in decorating—those elements had set the stage for a conversation that might not have happened otherwise. She really liked Jenna, and she saw the potential for a gratifying friendship. Not only that but it felt good to share what she’d learned and applied in her life. She truly hoped that Jenna could use the powerful teaching to turn her life around as well.
Chapter 4
Geoff noticed that Jenna looked happier when she got back from shopping. He was surprised to see that all she’d bought were a few towels, but whatever the reason, it was good to see her smiling for a change. He was glad that he’d suggested she go out. Maybe that was all she needed.
He decided to make a point of getting home early that evening so they could spend some time together. He missed the way they used to talk at night. He missed going out on dates. They used to get a sitter and go out for dinner or a movie, but he couldn’t remember the last time they’d done that. He missed just clowning around with the kids, too, and laughing at their silly antics.
His personal life had definitely taken a back seat lately. Their project was taking much more of his time than he’d anticipated, but the potential it held was enormous. Both he and Jim had worked hard to get where they were—he couldn’t back off now. There were just a few more details that needed to happen, but unfortunately things weren’t falling into place as easily as he had hoped.
Geoff’s thoughts kept going back to the meeting with Arthur Jenkins. It hadn’t gone well, and now Geoff and Jim were getting together to talk about other options. Jenkins not only had the money to see the project through the final stages, he had the necessary pull to eliminate the red tape and get their project fast tracked. They needed him; that was all there was to it. He couldn’t let himself think of what might happen if their deal fell through. They’d put so much time into it, not to mention money. It simply had to work.
~
Jenna couldn’t help but wonder about her “chance” meeting with Rachael. I was giving so much thought to what Rachael said at work the other day. Is it possible that just thinking about it caused our meeting in the mall? She shook her head. Coincidences happen, but to say that we have control over the events in our lives just by our thoughts, I don’t know if I can believe that.
Regardless of how it had come about, she did want to hear more about the things Rachael believed, especially the emotional scale she’d mentioned. It made sense. For the first time in a very long while, Jenna felt a glimmer of hope. She was truly looking forward to talking with Rachael again. If nothing else, it would be nice to have a friend who could relate to what she was going through.
~
Rachael spent Sunday morning poring over her books and journals. She wanted to reread the notes she’d made when she was working her way up the emotional scale. She even considered letting Jenna read some of her notes, but she felt some negative emotion arise with the thought. Her journals were so personal and even painful to look back on. She decided that it would be more beneficial to help guide Jenna to a better feeling place. Stay focused on what you want. Keep your eyes on what you’re moving toward, she reminded herself.
So what do I want?
Thinking about it for a moment, s
he concluded, I do want to help Jenna; it feels good to teach and uplift someone, but I want to feel good as well. As much as I care for Jenna and can relate to her situation, I have to stay in a place that feels good for me. I have to take care of me first.
She’d learned that lesson the hard way. Even when she was going through the worst, Rachael always felt she had to be there for others. In the past she’d attracted people who needed fixing—family, friends, boyfriends—and she dutifully took care of everyone but herself. Looking back, she saw that she really had nothing of value to offer the people she was trying to help. Having learned from that experience, she had taken the past three years just for herself. She’d moved away from her mom and from other relationships that weren’t serving her. She chose to go back to the city she’d grown up in, gladly accepting the offer of a room from her older brother, who had recently bought a house.
A part-time job provided her with enough to get by, while she spent the majority of her time reading and studying. She found a reasonably priced counselor and saw her once every two weeks. Rachael enjoyed the free use of her extensive library and read a wide variety of books on the subject of well-being.
She found books on emotional healing that alluded to the power of the mind—a power that could be tapped into with amazing results. Rachael knew without a doubt it was the way she wanted to go. She read eagerly, taking notes on all she could find on the subject from her counselor’s selection of books. After that, she used the internet at the public library to learn even more. That was where she had first come across the term Law of Attraction. She was intrigued and quickly saw that she had been creating her own reality by the focus of her mind. Until that point, however, she’d been creating mostly negative circumstances.
She’d been determined to turn that around. She wanted to be happy more than anything, and by applying the principles of Law of Attraction deliberately, she found a way not only to achieve happiness but also to attract many of the things that she’d been wanting in her life.
“Nothing is more important than feeling good!” Rachael repeated the statement aloud as the pleasant memories filled her mind. That statement epitomized her transformation. She’d written it on sticky notes and put them up all over her room at the beginning. Even now she continued to keep it as her central focus; all her other desires came second. Because of that, she’d learned to be more aware of her emotions and let them guide her in making decisions. Now she was getting very good at feeling her way. Some would call it listening to their gut or following their intuition, but Rachael liked the simplicity of emotions—things either felt good or they felt bad, and it wasn’t hard to tell the difference.
“So, what do you feel like doing this afternoon?” she asked herself as she passed the hallway mirror. She remembered Gail’s suggestion of going to the park. That felt good.
Pleased with her decision, she picked up her bag and threw in a couple of books that were at the top of her pile on the coffee table. She grabbed an apple off the counter, and as she stepped outside, she felt the warm sun touch her face in a loving caress. A slight breeze was causing the trees to drop their colorful leaves, and Rachael took a moment to drink in the splendor that surrounded her. Autumn was her favorite time of year; the scenery was magnificent, and the weather was ideal—not too hot, not too cold. Perfect, she smiled. Just perfect.
~
Jenna woke up Monday morning with a heavy feeling. She’d been thinking about her conversation with Rachael all weekend, and now serious doubts were beginning to creep in. I know I’m thinking about this way too much, she admitted, but she felt helpless as her mind raced on. What Rachael is claiming is hard to believe. It sounds too good to be true. Besides, I’m not sure whether I’m ready to open up and share my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know Rachael that well. She’s nice, but this is all happening so fast and what if… “No,” she argued. “I am going to do this.”
She didn’t realize she’d said it aloud, and Geoff gave her a puzzled look as he walked out of their bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “What are you going to do, babe? Were you talking to me?”
“No, sorry. I was talking to myself,” Jenna answered, embarrassed. “I met a girl from work at the mall on Saturday, and I sort of agreed to help her with some decorating.”
“Well, you don’t have to,” Geoff asserted. “If you’ve changed your mind, just tell her; I’m sure she’ll understand. Do you know her very well? I’ve never heard you mention anyone from work.”
“That’s the thing. We see each other at work all the time, but we don’t really know each other. When I ran into her at the mall, we got talking and even went out for lunch. We actually have a lot in common...she’s really nice.” Jenna stopped there; she wasn’t ready to tell Geoff how she was feeling or what she and Rachael had talked about. She hoped that in time she could tell him, but for now she needed to sort things out for herself.
“You should go for it, then. You don’t do enough for yourself. It would do you good to get out more.” Geoff put his hand on her shoulder. “I worry about you sometimes.”
Jenna was touched by his concern. She didn’t think he’d even noticed. Trying to keep her emotions to herself and not burden others took a toll on her. It was hard pretending all the time. Maybe he would understand. Maybe I should tell him how I’m feeling…she noticed a tightening sensation in her stomach. No…I really don’t think I’m ready to do that yet. I’ll talk to Rachael first. Hopefully, that’ll help me put things into perspective.
“I’m okay,” Jenna lied. “You’ve got enough to think about. You’re probably right; I just need to get out more. I think I’ll tell Rachael that I can help her one evening this week.”
“That sounds great.” He gave Jenna a kiss on the cheek as he left. “I have a meeting tonight, so I might be late. Luv ya, babe.”
Jenna decided to go ahead with it. She was scared, but deep down, something was compelling her. It felt as though this “something” knew it was the way she needed to go.
She didn’t see Rachael until just before lunch, and Rachael invited Jenna to join her and Gail in the lunchroom. Jenna accepted reluctantly; she preferred to eat alone, in her office. As she entered the lunchroom, she remembered why. Everyone seemed to be looking at her. Again she felt that desire to be invisible. She desperately wanted to excuse herself and go back to eat in the privacy of her own office, but she knew it would be rude at that point. As she sat down with Rachael and Gail at their table, her thoughts escalated. What will they think of me? Have they been talking about me before I got here? I wonder if Rachael told Gail about our conversation.
“Gail, you know Jenna.” Rachael facilitated the introductions, and the two smiled politely at each other. Then she turned to Jenna. “Gail’s the one who got me this job. She’s also become one of my closest friends.” Rachael guided the conversation, which was fine with Jenna. She felt herself relax slightly.
“We’re totally different, and yet we have so much in common. It still amazes me. We hang out all the time now. Jenna, maybe you can join us at Trophies, sometime. We go there after work on Fridays.”
“Sure,” Gail added. “You should come. We have enlightening conversations. Rachael is the smartest person I know. She studies and learns all this incredible stuff and then generously shares it with anyone who will listen.”
“You make it sound like I do all the talking,” Rachael accused. “That’s hardly true. Sometimes I can’t even get a word in edgewise.”
Jenna listened to their friendly banter and smiled politely. “That sounds like fun. Thank you, I’ll think about it.” She was quite sure she wouldn’t take them up on their offer, but it did feel good to be invited. There was something refreshing about being with the two of them. They obviously had a close friendship, but they weren’t like some people Jenna knew who purposely excluded others with their inside jokes and plans.
“Jenna offered to help me decorate my place,” Rachael informed Gail and then quickly turned
to Jenna. “If you’re still interested, that is.”
“I am,” Jenna replied, honestly. “Tomorrow night works for me.”
“Perfect! Why don’t I order in so we can get as much done as possible? Do you like Chinese?”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
“I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, Jenna,” Gail joked. “This girl is hopeless when it comes to decorating. She probably thinks a sconce is something you eat.”
“Well, we can’t all hire professional decorators like you do.” Rachael pretended to be jealous and then laughed, “So what is a sconce, anyway? It does sound like something you’d eat.”
“It’s a light fixture that’s attached to the wall. You often see them on either side of a fireplace or a bed. They’re used for hallway lighting or over the vanity in a bathroom,” Jenna informed her, still surprised at how effortless it was to talk with Rachael. “I’ve got some decorating books I can bring over. They’re old, so some of the stuff might be out of date, but they should help you to get some ideas.”
“You amaze me yet again,” Gail scowled playfully at Rachael. “Rob just paid a fortune to hire an interior decorator as a birthday gift for me. Now you’ve attracted one for free.” She turned to Jenna, “She does this all the time. She’s like a magnet. Did she tell you how she got her house?”
“No, I’d like to hear about it, though. You didn’t get that for free, did you?”
“Not quite,” Rachael replied. “I’ll tell you about it sometime; we need to get back to work now.”
Jenna couldn’t believe it. Her lunch break had flown by, and she’d enjoyed herself. She felt that glimmer of hope again and began to wonder if it was a glimpse of what normal life was like—feeling good, chatting with friends, making plans. It was a stark contrast to how she usually spent her breaks at work—alone, working or reading—finding whatever escape she could from her dreary reality.
